I Love You More Than...

By Kortni Renea

Hard-working, partially single, single mother who needs to find her inner voice and strength while finding the love of her life who helps her to build a strong foundation.

Felecia Montgomery has been in an on-again off-again relationship with the father of her children David Foster for almost thirteen years now. They had two beautiful little girls. David counts on Felicia to do everything (even the most miniscule and mundane tasks). Felicia finds the strength to finally leave David, even if she faces the possibility of being a single mother for the rest of her life.

While becoming a confident and happier Felicia, she starts to give her childhood crush Harrison a chance…

Harrison is a successful businessman who is not afraid to get his hands dirty. Harrison owns a chain of body shops and knows how to work with his hands. There's nothing more Harrison needed to balance out his seemingly "perfect" life, than the love of a good woman and the pitter patter/stomping of little feet around the house. Harrison has had a huge crush on Felicia for quite some time now. But he always held back from asking her out, knowing she was still involved with the father of her children. Until now.... 

Will Harrison and Felicia be able to build each other up and find the happiness they both deserve……? Or will they let the past come in between them.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Kortni Renea
• Release date: Oct 7, 2014
• ISBN: 9780692303535

Book preview

Chapter One

Felicia Montgomery awoke to yet another morning with the overwhelming feeling of hopelessness. Day in and day out, it was the same humdrum ish. How had her life come to be this way? How it spiraled so much out of control...she could not begin to tell you.

Every day she woke up, got her two beautiful daughters ready for school and went to work. Work at least provided some modicum of relief for her. Work is where Felicia went to get away from it all. For those looking in from the outside, Felicia Montgomery’s life was misleadingly attractive. They felt she had it all.

At thirty-three she was a single mother of two, she loved her job as an assistant at Tom Rich designing firm. Despite being oblivious to it, Felicia was a beautiful woman. She was five foot seven, had a lovely chocolate mocha complexion with a sun kissed touch. Thanks to her grandfather who was full-blooded Cherokee, Felicia had long pretty black natural deep waived hair that fell to her waist. But believe it or not, in spite of her assets, the first thing people noticed about Felicia, was her smile.

She had the most genuine, innocent, infectious smile that could make anyone feel warm from the inside out. Felicia grew up in Glendale, Missouri, the only child born to Cassandra and Jacob Montgomery. Her mother, Cassandra, was retired from the City of Glendale where she worked as a secretary in the office of Budget & Management for thirty-eight years. And her father, Jacob, was over Missouri Department of Transportation Services. He went to work before sunrise and was home by 3pm most days and looked to retire in the next year or so.

Growing up Felicia was a very sheltered and loved little girl. Her cousins, Hailey and Analia were more like siblings. From birth it was always known that the three of them would grow up, go to college and get married. Of course the kids and the happily ever after were automatically supposed to happen. Felicia’s cousin, Hailey, married her high school sweetheart, Vincent.

They were married their junior year of college, have three kids and another on the way. Analia met and married her Calvin seven years ago. They were blessed with their first child six months ago. Both couples seemed to be living happy lives. Fulfilling every little girl’s’ American dream. Felicia, on the other hand, being the single one whom just could not seem to meet a nice young man, was counted on to do a lot.

Whatever was needed, her family used her as their sixth man. Her Aunt Anita and cousins used to rib her a lot, saying that if she’d just lose a few pounds, she’d have a man. Not all men can appreciate a little extra meat on the bones. Even back then, despite being single, Felicia was happy. Happily pining away, waiting for her best friend Emma’s older brother Harrison Kincaid.

Emma and Felicia had been friends since kindergarten. They had met when Emma stuck up for Felicia against the class bully, Billy Randal. One day during recess he’d made fun of Felicia until she cried. Undeterred by her tears, he pulled on her pig-tails, chanting and singing his insults. Emma walked right up to Billy Randal and kneed him in the balls.

You would have thought Emma’s knee somehow decapitated his genitals the way he wailed.

Cry baby, cry baby. Billy Randal’s nothing but a big fat cry baby, she sang as she skipped over to where Felicia was standing off to the side in awe of her savior.

Bending over, Emma plucked a daisy up from the dirt and handed it to Felicia.

Here. I hope this makes you feel better. Don’t pay any attention to Billy, he’s just a big, mean bully. My name is Emma! What’s yours?

That’s all it took for the two of them to become stuck like glue. You never saw one of them at school or a social function without the other. Emma didn’t have a lot of sleepovers growing up. She had five siblings. so it was a hassle for her parents to find her brothers something else to do or somewhere else to go.

Instead, Emma often escaped her chaotic household by trading it in for the quietness of the Montgomery household. She was a normal fixture at their house and was affectionately known as, ‘you know, that little white girl’ at the family reunions and gatherings. You would think growing up having a best friend that was the complete opposite of your own nationality would’ve caused some friction or havoc. But it never did between them. They were Frick and Frack.

Where Felicia was quiet, shy and reserved, Emma was loud, rambunctious and beyond mischievous. Ninety percent of the punishments Felicia had received were because of Emma. But she would not have traded in her bestie for anything in the world. Any time Felicia needed her, Emma dropped whatever she was doing to be there and vice versa. It was always thought that nothing could come between the bonds they shared...

So how is it that a happy, carefree Felicia could get to the point of feeling such despair and loneliness? When Felicia’s Aunt Anita invited a young man she’d met who was new to the area for Sunday dinner thirteen years ago, never did Felicia think it would be the beginning of her own personal purgatory. David Foster seemed like the most docile sheep you would ever come across in life. The first thing she noticed about him was his height. He was six-foot two and weighed two hundred and thirty-five pounds.

David’s body structure was like one of an ex-football player whose muscles were in the beginning stages of turning to marshmallow. After that, sad to say, you noticed nothing else where he was concerned. That should’ve been the telltale sign right there for Felicia. David’s complexion was dark bronze and no matter what, by mid-afternoon he always sported a five o’clock shadow. His head was bald and peanut shaped. His full lips were encased in a salt-and-pepper goatee.

When they first started dating, Felicia thought the stars and the moon hung from David. After all, she was a young, naive twenty-year-old when they first met. There was really nothing he could do wrong in her eyes. Felicia had pretty much always been a homebody, spending all her time either enthralled in a novel or drawing and decorating whatever she could get her hands on. So, she was essentially swept off her feet when David started taking her out to dinner, movies, and the like.

He seemed to be genuinely happy and pleased whenever they hung out with his friends, garnering praise and compliments on how lucky he was. He used to tell her he had a ‘pretty young thang’ on his arm...One that was ‘raised right and knew how to cater to her man’. So what if David had a short temper...no one was perfect...right? For the most part David was kind and affectionate, especially when they were out and about around her family or his friends.

One of the first insights Felicia had to his dark side was when he came to her place after working a twelve-hour shift with the Glendale Police Department. Felicia was standing at the kitchen sink washing the dishes from the meal she had cooked earlier. She heard the front door of her apartment open and close and glanced at the clock on the microwave. Felicia saw that it was going on ten pm. David had been at work since six that morning. She knew he was exhausted and would more than likely be irritable.

Hey, sweetie, she greeted him as he walked into the kitchen and over to where she stood and grabbed a glass off the dish rack.

Lifting the glass up to the light, David inspected every inch and aspect of the glass as if it had committed a crime. After his inspection was over, he just stared at her not saying a word. Trying to quickly diffuse his turbulent violent mood, Felicia tried to talk about something, anything to get past his foul mood. But out of nervousness, she stepped into the snakes-nest instead.

How was work today? Shit!

It was work like always. It would be nice to be able to come to my girlfriend’s house and get a cold glass of water in a clean fucking glass!

Felicia gave David a puzzled look as she’d just washed that very glass.

David that glass is clean, I just washed it.

You call this clean?

He yelled as he held the glass inches from her face. All Felicia saw was streaks on the glass from where the water had ran down the side as it was beginning to dry.

Yes, David, I do. Look, there’s nothing on the glass. Those are water streaks.

You would have thought that Felicia told David ‘fuck you and your momma’ the way he was looking at her with so much animosity and hostility.

A real woman dries the dishes she has washed. She’s not a lazy fucking slob who just stacks the shit up to dry.

He turned and walked away from her, giving Felicia a false sense of relief. David walked over to the table and sat down, boring into her with his gaze.

"Do you know why I haven’t asked you to marry me in the three years we’ve been together? It’s because I can’t bring myself to be tied down to half a woman. You’re an incomplete woman Felicia. And if I marry you, I’d just be settling. And that’s one thing I’ll never do.

So if you want this to work, you need to get your shit together and grow up and take care of your household like a whole, complete woman. Not some little ass girl.

Felicia stood at the sink for what felt like hours after David’s stingingly hurtful tirade and lecture. Felicia found herself confused. This was starting to be the norm for her at that point. Like always, she didn’t know what the hell he was talking about. She had been an assistant at the design firm where she had worked since before she graduated college two years prior.

And as for cleaning, washing dishes and whatever...How dare he judge her when he didn’t lift a finger to do anything around the house! Yes, it was her place, but he was there five to seven days a week. Unfortunately for Felicia, that wasn’t the first time David showed out and certainly was not the last. She excused the behavior like normal; because, again, he worked long hours at the police department under high stress.

A short fuse was to be expected. Besides that, things weren’t that bad. Every now and then, David may let a snide comment slip about her weight. Felicia she had put on fifteen pounds since they’d begun dating. But she could stick it out. She’d worked this long for their relationship. The ring and the key to her happy ending were surely around the corner.

And so it went, the unhealthy cycle that was Felicia and David’s relationship. In the beginning, no one could say anything bad about David. Felicia always found herself coming to David’s defense. Whether it was defending him from her family or from her friends, she always found herself going to bat for him. This was especially the case where Emma and David were concerned. She was always put in the situation of having to defend his actions. Emma and David were worse than water and oil. Nothing could bring the two of them together.

At first she would try to coordinate double dates and group outings. They had gone out together maybe a handful of times, and no matter what, it always ended the same-Emma cussing David out. David said something out of pocket to Emma, causing whoever she was dating at the time to defend her honor and eventually they would come close to exchanging blows. Finally it got to the point where Felicia couldn’t take it anymore. She did everything in her power to keep the two of them away from each other.

This was hard, as she was used to speaking with her best friend daily, multiple times, and seeing her at least every other day. But David didn’t like it when she was on the phone with her friends while he visited. He felt all her attention should be directed on him. After all, he had a stressful job and all he wanted to do when he got off was hold his woman, not listen to her cackle like a fucking hen!

Chapter Two

DAVID FOSTER WAS BORN and raised in Philadelphia, New York. Growing up he had a rough childhood. At a young age, he had to learn how to navigate the mean streets and defend himself from the older neighborhood boys and gangs. That was often hard for the puny little boy that he was. It was just David and his sister Candace and there was nothing David wanted more than to escape his surroundings, shedding the dead weight of his family.

David’s father, Marlon, was a strict disciplinarian. It went hand in hand with his career as a police officer. It was a typical night to be eating a perfectly cooked meal and his father to come home and start yelling and berating his mother, calling her his favorite terms of endearments...Stupid. Dumb. Useless.

Good for nothing. A waste of good gotdamn space... Just to name a few. Rarely did David and Candace witness their father being physically rough with their mother. But there were often times they could definitely hear the blows she took.

When David graduated high school he went away to Mizzou, never to move back to New York again. Candace, graduated and went to a community college while working full time at a law firm where she met her husband, Glen Treadwell. In all the years they had been together, Felicia had only met Candace at most, five times. Felicia simply did not understand it and had given up trying to long ago. How is it you have a sibling you were raised with, and yet, you go through life as if you are an only child?

Felicia often wondered if the majority of David’s problems in life stemmed from him feeling inadequate, especially when he was around those he felt were more knowledgeable than he. So he rarely saw his sister or his nieces and nephew. That was perfectly fine and normal to him. Felicia’s family was the weird one. The last time David saw his family was two and a half years ago at his father Marlon’s funeral. Linda, David’s mother, still resided in the house he and Candace grew up in. His mother was still very active and was always on the go, even at seventy-three.

When they first got together, David wooed Felicia. He pulled out all the stops to get her. He knew she was naïve and barely touched. In the beginning, David just had to have her. It wasn’t until after he got her that he began to slowly show his true colors and chip away at her self-esteem and confidence little by little.

Anytime an opportunity presented itself, he was putting her down. Whether it was Felicia dropping a utensil or being exhausted from work, he never let an opportunity pass to point out her inadequacies. He was gradually wearing away at any sense of security and self-confidence she had prior to meeting him. In a nutshell, David killed her spirit. Gone was the carefree young woman who loved to laugh and hang out with her friends and family.

*Simply living and enjoying life. In her place was a woman who walked on egg shells, scared she was going to awaken the big black wolf that has been deprived of food all winter. Scared that he would attack and hurt her in the process. Maybe not physically, but definitely emotionally. Always emotionally.

When David decided that he was going to settle in Missouri, Felicia found herself happy that he would finally be putting down some roots. What she didn’t expect was for David to campaign for them to live together out of wedlock. David ended up convincing Felicia it was not only smart but also economical for them to move in together. That way, they would be able to save up for their wedding...

Felicia saw this as a new beginning and became completely devoted to David, there was nothing she wouldn’t do for him. Further alienating herself from the few friends she still had in her life, always putting David first and foremost. It was Felicia’s hope that it would prove her love and devotion to him. And he would ultimately make her his wife after all. When he lost his job, she compiled his resume and sent it out to the insurance companies who were seeking investigators within a thirty mile radius. Ten years later and he’s still with the same company. But of course, let him tell it, he got on with his company because he was in such high demand. Felicia remembers him being unemployed nearly two months before a company even nibbled on the bait she cast them.

Things had begun to become bearable. They would only argue about twice a week instead of every day. Multiple times. Felicia’s peaceful home life changed as they entered their fifth year of their relationship. The year she was certain she would finally have it all. It was during that time Felicia discovered she was pregnant with her now eight year old, Dana. Naturally, being scared and nervous, she told her mother and father about the news. Although her mother was not happy her daughter was pregnant out of wedlock, she was happy about the blessing their family was about to receive. Felicia’s Aunt Anita had predicted this was just what David needed to get him to go on and pop that question.

She would never forget the night she told him she was pregnant as long as she lived. Felicia had it all planned out. Cook his favorite dinner, maybe make love and then tell him the good news. Oh how she wished things had gone that smoothly. Felicia left work early that day and ran to the grocery store. She purchased everything needed to cook his favorite meal – smothered fried chicken rice, greens, macaroni and cheese and cornbread. Felicia fought through her nausea to finish the meal and had just set the table when he came home.

Walking in the house, David went straight for the bathroom to wash his hands. She knew he would wash them at least three times with scalding hot water and bleach. Five times if he felt he’d come too close in contact with some type of contaminant. Being used to his quirks, this was a natural routine for him.

David emerged from the powder room and went to the fridge where he opened the door with a paper towel grabbing a bottle of beer and twisted the cap off. He downed half the bottle in one gulp. Feeling the nervousness start to build, Felicia blurted out part of the surprise.

I cooked your favorite tonight!

In return she received his customary grunt, acknowledging he had heard her speak. After plating their dinner and serving them, she tried to make small talk with David. He was clearly in one of his moods. She hated when he was in his moods. He became quiet, sullen and would retreat within himself. But when he was in a good, happy go lucky mood, everything was GREAT! He treated her as if she were on a throne and no one could say anything to wipe the smile off Felicia’s face during those times. They were just getting fewer and further in between.

Felicia was starting to wonder if it would be smart to wait and deliver the good news when David was in that better mood. But by the time he found himself in that mood again, she would probably be showing. She couldn’t keep it to herself any longer. She just had to tell him.

So.......you know how I haven’t been feeling well for the past of couple of weeks? Well I went to the doctor today and found out that we’re eight weeks pregnant!

You could’ve heard an ant piss as quiet as the room had become. David’s fork had paused mid-air when he heard the tail end of the news. Lowering his fork, David placed his elbows on the table, bringing his hands up to form a steeple in front of his face. He rested his chin on his thumbs.

Haven’t you been taking your pills? Or is it too hard and difficult for you to remember to take a stupid pill every day!

Clearing her dry throat from the sudden fear and nervousness that rose up. Felicia explained that the antibiotic she was taking for the urinary tract infection, weakened her birth control pills unknowingly to her.

So what? David asked letting out a sarcastic laugh, You expect me to marry you now or something? Felicia felt like a knife had pierced her heart.

I’d never want you to marry me just for our baby. But I had thought that marriage was...is...what we have been working towards.

Hunh. Well, I don’t know what the hell you expect me to say or even do for that matter. David raised up from his chair suddenly. I’ve lost my appetite. I’m going to go out and hang with Hank for a while. I’ll be back when I’m back. And with that, David put his shoes on, grabbed his keys from the table and left.

Felicia’s entire pregnancy had been stressful and for a while there, in jeopardy. She was constantly having to be monitored for her high blood pressure. She’d been having a lot pain and discomfort one night and had to catch a cab to the hospital. David had left work, Felicia giving him the perfect excuse to. After David arrived they both listened to the fifteen minute lecture the doctor gave them. It was imperative for both the pregnancy and her health, that Felicia be stress free for the rest of it. David argued with her the entire fifty minute ride home. Felicia always wondered if his intention had been for her to have a miscarriage that day.

Chapter Three

WHEN DANA WAS BORN, everything changed for Felicia. There was a major shift and David was no longer the main priority in her world. Instead, it was the precious bundle of joy that she would spend hours upon hours staring at, while cradling her in her arms. Nothing changed at home where David was concerned. In fact in became worse.

When Dana, who was no more than fourteen months at the time, dirtied her pull up one afternoon, she pulled it off and had tracked it throughout her bedroom floor. Any parent that has gone through the early toddler years, knows this