Blackhearted

By Stergio Vackimes

Blackhearted is the comedy/drama/porno adventure story of an assassin who's been driven to sarcastic and cynical boredom by an uncaring life. So far he's lived the only way he knows how: murder for hire and other colorful stuff. But things get crazier and more annoying for him than ever when a series of events spiral out of control as he's forced to kill a crime boss while avoiding that one guy from his past that really wants him dead. To do this he teams up with a semi-alcoholic coed he kidnapped and his psychopathic BFF that won't keep it in her pants no matter how many times you yell or punch her in the face as they go on an adventure involving murder, sexual harassment, fetish clubs, dropping babies and screwing around in hotel rooms.

Staring:

Blackheart, the killer for hire protagonist who uses a shroud of sarcasm, cynicism and mild sociopath to cover up his feelings of boredom and loneliness. He walks around looking like a cybernetic version of Slenderman and is freaky towards the color green.

Pauneth, the aforementioned kidnapped drunk coed who spends her time eating tacos, being drunk and slowly developing massive psychological issues as she spends way too much time with total lunatics. Also she likes porn.

And last but certainly not the sanest by any means it's Icarus who, in contrast to the male Greek mythological figure that builds poorly constructed flying apparatuses out of random stuff he found on the floor outside, is a beautiful sexy redheaded female with a sunny personality, a heart of gold and a piercing smile that makes everybody want to be around her... until the moment they realize that she's a complete and total psychopathic murderess that kills, molests, mutilates and tortures everything in her path for shits, giggles and her own personal arousal.

*Loads of people were hilariously harmed and slightly sexually abused during the making of this book. Enjoy and please don't feel bad if you get sorta aroused half-way through the story. Also it involves churros in some way but I just can't remember how. ;)

• Language: English
• Publisher: Stergio Vackimes
• Release date: Dec 24, 2013
• ISBN: 9781311794079

Stergio Vackimes

Born in Mexico and moved to the States at a young age. Not much to say really, I'm like anybody else and I've always had a desire to show my world my creativity and let them judge it. I like video games, TV and working out when I'm not busy writing. =)

Book preview

Blackhearted

By Stergio Vackimes

Published by Stergio Vackimes at Smashwords

Copyright 2013 Stergio Vackimes

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

What if you don't know that they did?

You'll probably love them more once you do.

Why?

Because life is supposed to be a joke, jokes don't have to make sense as long as they're funny.

Says who?

Everyone.

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Chapter One

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-Verse One: Silenced by Death (In Space!)-

Blackheart

June 4

Location: Aligari Junior Delegate's Escort Ship Cargo Area, Aligari Space

Time: 04:56 AM

I have never liked cargo containers. Cramped and stuck with box upon box but perfect for sneaking into places I'm not supposed to be. Getting caught here with only a sword to defend myself with, aboard a delegate's ship would mean death.... and I'm not the one who's supposed to die today. I pull out my phone and call Valaris'Tek, the Aligari who hired me. Greetings, Mr. Blackheart., speaks Valaris. Are you ready to acquire the money of your dreams? Is the delegate ready to be slaughtered?, he chuckles. Are you ready to spot annoying me?, I ask You'll have your dead legate and I won't need to see you again. I hope this is the last time we speak to each other, Valaris.

I hang up and proceed to exit the container. Valaris is scum and if I didn't owe him for killing his wife and he wasn't so connected we wouldn't be talking... he'd be... silent. But my fantasies can come later. Now is not the time for this…. God I hate him…

Location: Ship Crew Sleeping Quarters

Time: 5:11 AM

As I creep along the ship I find myself thinking of it's simplicity. Most delegates would ride luxury ships with servants and riches as it is with most of the Aligari, where government equals nobility.

Not this one. This one believes in service to the people before service to oneself. I applaud the delegate, but my mission comes first regardless. Certain ideologies can make you some dangerous enemies. I don't care about politics and I'd rather not be under Valaris' thumb any longer. I continue roaming the halls of the ship completely unbothered. Not that many people serving on this ship and thanks to my insider tips about camera maintenance schedules, I don't have to worry about those either. It's quiet, and I feel peaceful.

Location: Ship Officials Sleeping Quarters

Time 5:28 AM

My journey remains thankfully uneventfully. I arrive at the officials' sleeping quarters. The delegate's room should be through here. I look around this dark room and all I can hear is the faint sounds of distant engines... and the guards in the room ahead. Not everybody can be asleep at the same time and security definitely isn't. Only four gathered in the room, talking and keeping guard. Two sitting on a table, and one organizing boxes. The last one is in a small kitchen divided by a small wall next to them. There's a door at the end of the room where the delegate must be, but I must first deal with the guards. They wouldn't be hard to neutralize but I can't afford to make noise unless I want the rest of ship security breathing down my neck with more guns than brains. I must be cunning and silent.

I wait for the table guards to walk over to the fridge guard as he tells them to come chose their lunches. Box guard continues organizing, saying he already ate. Suit yourself., says fridge guard. I wait a moment and purposefully knock a book off the table next to me to make a sound. Box guard wonders what that was. Is your dumb cat messing around back there again?, says one of the table guards eating from a bag of chips. Fuck, I told you to keep that little monster locked in your room. Go get that thing outta here!, says the guard by the fridge. Box guard tells them to relax as he walks over to me. I press myself against the corner and wait as the guard walks into the room looking for his beloved cat. I make sure the other guards can't see us from this angle and quickly jump out behind the guard and wrap my arms around his neck and cover his mouth with my hand. He fights and tries to yell but it's meaningless. I squeeze hard and he eventually looses his breath and his body goes limp. I pull his body out of the way and before I notice, the guard with the chips walks into the room. I quickly crouch behind the table and watch nervously as he speaks Found your cat yet, Johnny? I'd hate to have to report you for letting that little furballsack break something important., he laughs and turns toward me. As his eyes adjust to the dark he seems to start to notice me. Not willing to take a chance and get caught now, I unsheathe my sword and take a swing at him. I hit the side of his neck and he lets out a faint, shocked moan. Before he can call for help I wrap my arms around his head and press it against my chest. I cover his mouth and whisper Don't struggle. to him. He ignores me and starts thrashing, hitting me on my thighs. Quickly loosing blood and his consciousness, he goes limp and almost slips from my grasp. I set him down when I'm sure he'll be of no trouble anymore and hear a door open in the next room.

I peek into the room with the guards and see a young Aligari woman talking with the guards. Pale skin with bronze hair and the golden eyes of an Aligari, with the fine clothing of a noble. This woman is the delegate I was sent for. She asks the guards to keep it down and let her sleep. They apologize and hurriedly clean up the mess of the kitchen they made. I take my chance and jump out of the shadows into the next room. I take my sword and throw it at the back of her head as she was walks into her room. She dies instantly and I hear a faint squeak as she falls to the ground.

Murderer!, yells one of the guards as he sees the delegate. He grabs a knife from the kitchen ad lunges at me. I grab the wrist of his hand to stop him from stabbing me and strike him across the face with the back of my other hand. He flinches and drops the knife. I punch him in the throat, then kick him towards the other guard as he runs towards us. The guards collage atop one another and I take the chance to take out my sword from the delegate and impale them both to the ground. The air is silent and all I can hear is my beating heart. I pull out my sword and watch as the blood drips from it.

I walk towards the kitchen and take a towel to clean my sword up a bit. As I wipe off the blood I begin to hear the sound of crying faintly across the room. It sounds like a woman so I walk over to the delegate to check the body. I kneel down in front of her and turn her over. Still dead. Definitely dead with an expression of shock on her face. They say that when Aligari women die they cry. But she's not so it must've been my imagination.

My mission is complete.

-Verse Two: Condoms, Alcowhores and your Mom-

Pauneth

June 4

Location: Pauneth's Room, Syrkuleth'Argumbasa Psionic School R&D Dorms

Time: 12:12 PM

I am so tired. It's so late yet I still can't be bothered to lift a finger, thank the divines it's Sunday and there's no school today. If there's one thing humans can do it's make excuses to be lazy, and their universal time schedules work great for me on sleepy days. Damn wild parties where they serve alcohol to sweet young 19 year old Aligari girls who are completely under the city's legal drinking age. Although I didn't seem to mind it yesterday when that cute girl offered me a Zarboni Crotch Punch with two olives. Why couldn't I be living in a human city, I hear they let 18 year olds drink till they drop. lol Humans are whores. Smart and techy but so dirty., I giggle to myself.

But it's time to get up. I lift myself up to sit on the side of the bed and brush my bronze tangled hair off my face. I yawn. Psionic abilities can do random shit but freeze time still isn't one of them.... for now. Maybe I should make my life purpose to become so powerful with my psionic powers that I can learn to bend time and space to freeze it forever.... so I can sleep forever. Or infinity energy or those other things the scientists keep droning on about. What time was it again?, I say to myself while yawning. Twelve sixteen already? Craaaaap!, I whine to myself. I get up and walk towards the bathroom to throw up in the toilet. My breath smells like olives and shit. Where's my toothbrush? I look around for it while cleaning yesterday's leftovers from my shirt and eventually find it in the medicine cabinet behind some soap and a box of...... condoms? These.... these aren't mine. Could they be? No they are definitely are not, aren't and couldn't possibly be. They must be my roommate Jynn's. But why would he leave them.... you know on second thought I have better things to do than to solve the mystery of the misplaced junk stockings. I pick up the box and throw it in my small garbage can next to the shower where I keep my dirt and tear soaked tissue. Jynn can go buy himself a new box. Yeah that's right, I'm in charge of my tiny room in Syrkuleth's biggest psionic research station slash frat house. I am the boss of you, hear my roars and..... oh shit more puke. Blargh! I swear by the fucking divines that I'm never going to drink again!, I yell into my toilet.

Don't lie, you know you love drinking too much to just quit now!, I hear a voice bellow from outside my room. Is that Jynn? For God's sake, we didn't send you to college so you could keep whores in your room!, I hear an unknown voice say outside my room. Pauneth's not a whore she's my roommate. I admit she's a bit loose with her drinks but ‘whore’ might be a bit too much..., jokes Jynn. What the crotch rot does he mean by ‘might be’? Screw you Jynn. You're the whore here, who are you talking to and please stop leaving your condoms in my room!, I yell. I hear a shocked gasp and the words Oh my God!. High five son!, I hear another voice say. What?! No, dad please!, I hear Jynn say. I don't use condoms I'm still pure and innocent, they must be Pauneth's. She's a whore, you're right mother she's a filthy filthy prostitute! Son, mom?! Crap I forgot today was parental visiting day at the school! My parents abandoned me here when I was a kid so I don't give a crap about parental stuff, Jynn must be SO embarrassed! I laugh a bit then pick myself up and hurriedly brush my teeth and put on a fresh, clean pair of jeans and a tank top then rush out the door and stumble into the living area.

No one's a whore and by condoms I meant CANDY!, I yell while the Jynn family stares at me. What? We both like candy! :-), I say awkwardly. Meet my roommate Pauneth mom and dad!, Jynn says She's nice. She's clean and PLEASE DON'T TAKE ME BACK HOME, I'M BEGGING YOU!, he says in a sudden and worried manner. I swear I don't spend all my time with whores like her and I love to learn about the Human’s ‘united States’ constitution and practicing my psychic abilities that this school is dedicated to even though ‘kinda’ moving stuff is the only thing they’re really useful for! Yesterday I learned how to fold napkins into swans with my mind. If by napkins he means chubby girls and by his mind he means lots of alcohol and a book about Remaining Confident When Meeting The Sluts Of Your Dreams then yeah, he's right on the money. Hahaha napkins!, I say loudly enough for the whole room to hear. Parents meet Pauneth., Jynn says awkwardly wishing he were dead. It's.... a pleasure., says Jynn's mom. His dad just waves. Both of them seem wealthy and dignified but somewhat old. Really old. The mother is one of the few Aligari women I've seen with silver hair instead of bronze like mine. Jynn's dad has almost no hair and is wearing an I love Manhattan! cap. What's a Manhattan and can I drink it? What's a Manhattan?, I ask while pointing at his cap. Oh this?, Jynn's dad says I'm not sure I think it's a type of drink they serve on human restaurants. A guy was selling it in a little store downtown and I thought it looked funny. Aha, it is drinkable.... but can it get me drunk? It was nice meeting you..., says mother-Jynn who proceeds to nervously walk out the dorm. The father follows and whispers giddily to Jynn, Nice going, you got a hot one!. I politely smile while Jynn covers his face in teenaged shame. The two parents leave and Jynn closes the door.

Well that could've gone better, huh?, says Jynn. I wouldn't know, my whorish cock hungry brain prevents me from forming complex thoughts., I say in a snarky, joking tone. I know., sighs Jynn with a defeated look on his face. He then proceeds to walk into his room while moaning in emotional pain. He closes the door and I laugh a bit. I hate you, you know., he lets me know from his room. That's a shame because I LOVE YOU!, I say in a mockingly childish voice. Shouldn't you be in class?, he asks. Class but it's.... I look at the calendar and yell Fucking shit I thought it was Sunday, it's MONDAY! Jynn starts to laugh diabolically as I hurriedly run into my bedroom to get dressed and ready for my daily fling random shit around through the air with the power of your acne covered mind while wondering if liking anime schoolgirls is morally different from pedophilia class. That is the official name mind you. I hate school!, I yell as I run out of the dorm room while putting on my sexy schoolgirl outfit.

God, I hate Mondays. Human time schedules suck, why did world governments decide to implement them universally? Humans might have their tech and smarts but we Aligari have our psychic thingies. Time for class!, I yell as I run through the halls like a lunatic. How did I confuse the days, damn this alcohol! Alcohol sucks! It’s bad for you and…. Oh, who am I kidding? It’s the greatest thing to ever exist! It makes you feel alive and well while you let people degrade you in public bathrooms… damn that chick was hot…. And her boyfriend… yum!

-Verse Three: Screw Waitresses-

Blackheart

June 4

Location: Corra's District, Syrkuleth Northern Dark Sector

Time: 7 PM

I sit here waiting in this seedy bar in the Syrkuleth Dark Sector. Aligari cities are massive and require divisions to better keep track of everything going on. Different delegates and peace keeping forces control each one.... Dark Sectors are the places too deep in crime to be controlled efficiently. It's not someplace you want to be. After dealing with the delegate, Valaris’Tek instructed me to come here and wait for one of his enforcers for the payment. Crime lords don't like to meet with their mercenaries in person and Valaris is no different. I wish I wasn't here… the waiter keeps looking at me with the rape-eyes.

I sit in the bar in a table as far from prying eyes as possible but people like me tend to attract attention no matter how close to the shadows we stand. My suit is less of a fashion statement and more of a permanent choice. When I was a child I lived in a small human colony on the edge of Aligari space. I grew up mostly alone as my parents where too busy swallowing drugs and committing petty crimes to raise me. But I didn't care. People think that growing up in bad homes can make you sad, but how can I be sad if I never knew what happiness is? I just... am… and they died in an ‘accidental’ house fire that made me laugh a bit.

A person approaches. Blackheart., they say When Valaris asked me to come meet with you I could scarcely believe it. I thought he got confused in old age and I'd have to walk away empty handed. But it really is you. Daedalus!, I say wishing it weren't true. After roaming around alone for most of my childhood I was eventually found and ‘recruited’ by a government PsyOps team. Humans jealous of Aligari powers wanted to find a way to harness the power of the mind for themselves. They took human children and raised them for themselves to train and mutate to create the perfect super humans. Obviously it doesn't work that way. Years of torment and pain, tests and experiments to discover that humans can't bend spoons with their brains no matter how many times you torture a child. Me and Daedalus were part of that team, now I work as a mercenary working for whomever needs someone to do their dirty work. And Daedalus..... doesn't like me.

Daedalus, why are you here? Why did Valaris send you?, I ask. Valaris hates you as I'm sure you know. I hate you as I'm sure you know even better., Daedalus says. And you know who doesn't like you either? You may as well ask me how many stars there are, cut to the chase!, I say violently to hide my concern. Certain Aligari governments are about to get their hands on videos of a certain person throwing swords at their delegates. Trusting the maintenance schedules Valaris gave you? I expected more from you., Daedalus says as a human waitress carrying a trey approaches us. Can I get you anything?, she asks unaware. Daedalus ignores her and continues speaking in an increasingly menacing tone. "For years I've waited to see you again. So long