Stronger with You

By R.J. Sable

Jamie-Lea Carter and Jason Reed have been through the mill. Jason has been there for her in every way he could be. After a tough start to her life at university, Jamie-Lea is only now coming to realise who she really is. She makes a resolution not to let herself get pushed around as much but that's easier said than done as part of the Carter family.

Guilt still plagues her for everything that her family has been through but, with Jason's support, she's growing stronger in more ways than one. She loves her brothers whole-heartedly but deep down she knows things aren't right and never really have been. What has to give for something to change?

• Language: English
• Publisher: R.J. Sable
• Release date: Jan 1, 2014
• ISBN: 9781311793577

R.J. Sable

RJ Sable is an author from the UK. She is a lover of language of all kinds and has a degree in linguistics and phonetics. Unfortunately, despite her best efforts she is only fluent in English and Swedish after having lived in Sweden for three years. When she's not writing, RJ can be found with an impossibly large cup of tea, a crochet hook, and a mess of tangled yarn. Alternatively, she might be on her beloved racing bike "Mary" or mountain bike "Bumble" annoying car drivers throughout the midlands.

Book preview

Chapter 1

Saturday, 5th January 2013

I watched the two of them circling each other, each coated with a thin layer of perspiration which gleamed underneath the afternoon sun. Their expressions were ones of deep concentration as they watched each other, unblinking. I grimaced as Jason ducked to avoid a blow that barely missed him. I can’t watch this. I covered my eyes with my hands but it was even worse being able to hear their anguished grunts and the sound of fists meeting flesh without being able to see that they were okay.

Craig tackled Jason to the ground and they grappled on the lawn. My heartbeat quickened and I sent up a silent prayer that neither of them would get seriously hurt. I wanted to kick the two of them for putting me through this, but of course I wouldn’t. I winced every time one of them took a blow and breathed a sigh of relief each time they missed.

I felt two, long, gangly arms wrapping around me from behind and was momentarily distracted from watching the two of them beating on each other to turn around and greet the owner of the lean limbs. I didn’t have to check who it was first. I’d know his cologne anywhere.

Alex! I grinned, pulling my best friend of seven years into a rib-cracking embrace.

Jellybaby! He giggled, spinning me round and pulling me back into him before planting a loud, lip-smacking peck on my lips.

I’d known Alex was back home but I just assumed he’d be too busy unpacking and recovering from jet lag to come and see me.

A loud thwack drew our attention back to the two muscly men who were still lying in the grass breathing heavily. Craig had landed a pretty harsh blow to Jason’s jaw and I jumped up to make sure he was okay.

What the fuck, Jamie? Jason looked furious as he shoved Craig off of him and made his way towards us.

Easy, Reed, Craig warned, grabbing Jason’s arm and pulling him away from Alex.

I appreciated it seeing as my boyfriend was aiming murderous looks at my best friend.

Did he just kiss you? Jason asked me, pushing Craig off and sounding very angry, and very confused.

I could hear the hurt in his voice and it upset me but I still had to fight to stop myself from giggling. Yes, I nodded, glancing over at Alex. He seemed amused and admittedly a little cautious as his eyes scanned Jason from my side.

Jason’s normally dirty blond hair was darkened with sweat and clung to his forehead. His exquisitely sculpted body was strained from the physical exertion of fighting which made all his abs pop beautifully and had the muscles deep inside me tensing in the way they always seemed to when Jason was around.

I was distracted from ogling my beautiful specimen of a man as he made another lunge for Alex and Craig had to tackle him to the ground again. I shot Alex an apologetic glance. He looked entirely perplexed as he hid behind me.

Jason, please, I pleaded, frowning as I recognised how quickly things were going south.

This no longer looks like sparring, Ian announced, jogging over from the patio to pull Craig away from Jason.

What’d Jason do this time? Danny asked when he and Rick joined us, eyeing Craig and Jason with apparent amusement.

Alex kissed Jelly, Craig grinned impishly, looking back and forth between Alex and me.

I warned you to cut that shit out, Alex, Ian frowned and Alex noticeably shrank away from him, understandably disinclined to receive another Carter-family warning about our relationship.

Jason was staring at us all as though we were insane as he knelt in the grass where Craig had tackled him. His facial expression was still angry but a look of utter bewilderment was threatening to take over. No doubt he was wondering why my brothers weren’t kicking Alex’ ass for kissing me.

Kneeling down next to him, I put my hand on his. Jason, this is my best friend Alex, I said softly, gesturing up towards him.

Just because he’s your best friend, doesn’t mean it’s okay to kiss him, Jamie, he said through clenched teeth, his eyes dark with anger and hurt.

I went to protest but Alex got there first.

I’d be more than happy to kiss you as well if that’ll even things up, Alex said sweetly, fluttering his eyelashes.

I was not oblivious to the round of chuckles this elicited from my brothers.

Hands off, Alex. He’s mine, I warned him playfully.

Fine, Alex sighed with an exaggerated pout. He ran his fingers nervously through his carefully styled, light brown hair, adjusting the strands that refused to stay in his well-practiced coiffure of choice.

You could have given him a heads-up, Jelly, Craig laughed, pulling my bewildered boyfriend up from the grass.

I shrugged. I hadn’t really seen the need; I didn’t introduce my friends by name, gender, and sexuality. Besides, it wasn’t like Alex went out of his way to hide who he was, he was pretty comfortable with himself. He wasn’t always, but he got there eventually.

Oh, Jason said as realisation dawned, earning an amused chuckle from my brothers.

Jelly never mentioned quite how… well let’s just say she undersold you, Alex winked at Jason and held out his hand.

Jason shook Alex’ hand, looking no less bewildered.

If you don’t stop hitting on him, it’ll be me you’ll be running away from instead of them for a change, I pointed to my brothers and gave Alex a teasing grin.

Ooh! Feisty, I like it! He grinned, looking decidedly shocked. What happened to you while I’ve been away?

I blushed awkwardly at the reminder that I’d changed, and the reasons why. I knew he was joking but the fact that he could tell I was different hit home hard. Alex had taken a gap year and had been travelling around the states for the past few months. We’d e-mailed a little but some things were just too personal to put down in e-mails and I didn’t want to burden him whilst he was away having the time of his life.

I’ll fill you in later, I smiled, deciding already that he really didn’t need to know all the gory details. I noticed my brothers looking particularly uncomfortable and took pity on them by changing subject. I’m so glad you’re back, Alex!

Me too, I missed you! He grabbed my hand in his and pulled me over to the chairs so that we could talk.

Craig and Jason broke off their sparring to sit with us on the patio, drinking copious amounts of water and towelling off.

I didn’t realise you fought as well, Jason, Alex addressed him, turning his head to me and mouthing that’s hot! with a wicked grin on his face.

I don’t really, not like Craig does at least, Jason shrugged.

May that bruise on your jaw serve to remind you of that little fact, Craig smirked, shoving Jason playfully.

I was distracted! Jason scowled, nodding his head in my direction.

I smiled as the two of them bickered. They’d become a little better friends over Christmas. They were the same age and had a lot in common but I was surprised that Craig had been able to get over the fact that Jason was my boyfriend, especially considering how protective he and the others were over me. Craig still got aggressive whenever our PDA was too much for him but he managed to rein it in most of the time.

Sorry, Jason, I pouted, knowing it usually caused him to forgive me. I saw the smile that graced his lips before he returned to his disagreement with Craig.

Can we go inside, please? I’m freezing. I crossed my arms across my chest and shivered slightly for emphasis. I was wearing several layers, including Jason’s hoody, but it was January in England, after all.

I followed Craig into the lounge but hesitated when I noticed Matt was in there surrounded by paperwork. I was about to suggest we go sit in the den but Craig and Jason had already thrown themselves into the sofa. Jason pulled me onto his knee and I watched Craig’s face turn tense momentarily but he recovered, choosing not to comment. Alex sat down on the futon in front of us and crossed his legs under him.

I took a second to appreciate the subtle changes in Alex since he’d been away. His normally pale skin now had a lovely caramel twinge thanks to his months in the sun. It complemented his looks perfectly and made his pale blue eyes appear impossibly clearer. Alex was fairly skinny, especially when he stood next to my brothers, but he pulled it off and he knew it.

I don’t understand why not, you’re good, Craig urged, drawing my attention back to them.

This wasn’t the first discussion they’d had about this. Craig thought Jason should return to MMA.

I’m not interested, Carter, Jason replied with a sigh, I could tell he was growing uncomfortable.

Don’t you miss it? Craig asked.

A little, Jason admitted.

Then what’s the problem?

I’ve moved on.

I could feel Jason growing tense and understood his discomfort. Jason had given up fighting because of his brother. Even though he missed MMA, he wasn’t willing to mess up his relationship with Ben for it.

Your current competition not enough for you? I teased Craig in an effort to rescue Jason.

Nope, Craig grinned. It gets a bit boring, he added with mock complacency.

I’d be happy to remedy that if you lot don’t keep it the fuck down, Matt grumbled from the other end of the L-shaped sofa.

Now it was my turn to tense up. Craig and I both knew that Matt wouldn’t stand a chance against Craig, but we also knew that Karl would kick his ass if he had a go at Matt.

Sorry, Matt, what you working on? Jason intervened smoothly.

Lesson plans, Matt grunted.

I didn’t realise P.E. lessons needed planning, Alex chimed in, thinking out loud. I doubted he realised he’d just insulted Matt’s chosen career.

Matt scowled at Alex and put down the papers he’d been reading. What the fuck do you mean by that?

I… eh… nothing. Sorry, sir. Alex squirmed nervously in his seat.

He didn’t mean anything by it, Matt. He just didn’t th-

I wasn’t talking to you, Jelly, he cut me off with a heated glare, gathering up all his paperwork and standing up.

I’m sorry, sir, Alex said quietly, standing up and taking a few steps back, away from Matt.

Matt closed the distance between them with a few long strides. If you’d actually taken part in any of the lessons instead of pretending to be asthmatic then maybe you’d know a little more about the subject, Matt growled, his face very close to Alex who cowered under his icy glare.

I watched nervously, praying for Alex’ sake that he wasn’t planning on a smart aleck comeback. He lowered his gaze and mumbled another apology. Matt seemed satisfied and stormed out of the room.

Breathing a sigh of relief, Alex came back to sit on the futon.

Sorry, Alex, I frowned. I’ve told you a million times though, you don’t have to call him sir when we’re at home, especially not now we’re not at school anymore. I’d hoped that would lighten his mood but it seemed to have somewhat the opposite effect.

I wasn’t faking the asthma, he grumbled sulkily.

I know, I smiled sympathetically and leaned over to give his knee a gentle squeeze.

Must have been weird living with your teacher, Jason said, wrapping his arms round my waist once more as I leant back into him.

Matt’s pretty good at keeping the two things separate, I shrugged. At school I was just another student, at home I was just his best friend’s annoying little sister, I sighed.

It was true, Jason didn’t need to know that Matt had gone out of his way to make P.E. lessons impossibly difficult for me. They had trouble getting on as it was.

He was way harder on you than he was on the rest of us, Alex chimed in, destroying my plan to keep those details to myself.

I shrugged it off, feigning indifference. I didn’t want to get into it right now. Matt had only ever been hard on me because he wanted me to push myself, even if I didn’t appreciate it at the time.

Ian popped his head in to tell Alex that he could stay for dinner, which made me squeal with excitement and earned me a disapproving look from Ian. It was worth it though; I hadn’t seen Alex for so long and he had so much to tell me about his adventures across the pond.

Ian cooked, which was good news because he was the biggest culinary talent in the family. He made falafel – from scratch – for Alex and me, and some chicken and beef, flavoured with about a million different herbs and spices, for everyone else. This was served with whole-wheat wraps, salad and a homemade yoghurt and cucumber dressing.

This is so good! Alex made appreciative moans as he devoured his wrap. I want the recipe!

There is no recipe, Ian shrugged, in surprisingly good humour. Maybe a small part of him has actually missed having Alex hanging around all the time. I laughed inwardly at that thought. I doubted he’d even missed me whilst I was at uni.

"How can there not be a recipe?" Alex said in his usual overdramatic tone, which made me grin but normally had Ian grinding his teeth.

Ian just shrugged and I stepped in to rescue him from the barrage of questions I knew was bound to come from Alex’ inquisitive mind.

Ian just mixes stuff together until it smells good, then he’s done, I grinned.

How did you learn to cook like that? Jason asked.

Cooking for them, Ian nodded his head to my brothers and me.

I knew he wasn’t being entirely honest. Ian’s cooking had gotten considerably better after he’d joined the military. He often came back from one of his mysterious disappearances with a tan and a sudden talent for mixing exotic flavours, but I understood that he didn’t want to talk about it.

A man that can cook, your brother just got a little hotter! Alex teased me, just loud enough for my brothers to hear.

Jason choked on his food; I think he was preparing for a show down. Ian just grinned at Alex and shot him a wink. I scowled at Alex, he knew that I didn’t like him hitting on my brothers – it was creepy. He gave me his adorable pout and I found myself forgiving him almost immediately.

No matter how much hassle my brothers gave Alex about the two of us being close friends, they never gave him any jip for being gay. I loved that about them and knew how much it meant to Alex. Even Jake, who hated Alex with a passion, had once smashed a guy’s face in at school when he overheard him calling Alex a faggot. Our Dad had impressed the importance of treating everyone as equals onto my eldest brothers and they made damn sure the same values were hammered into the rest of us.

Aren’t there a few of you missing? Alex asked Rick as we did the dishes together.

Karl and Elise are on holiday, Rick explained.

To celebrate their anniversary, I added.

And Jake’s not been back home much, Rick continued.

I winced with guilt. I knew Jake had gone home early because I was here. He was still avoiding me at all costs. It hurt really badly to have somebody I loved hate me so strongly. Jason kept telling me that it wasn’t my fault but that didn’t stop me from feeling guilty. Jake and I may not have had the best relationship, but I still missed him. The others avoided the issue, so I tried not to bring it up around them.

How long are you home for, Jellybaby? Alex asked as he followed me down the stairs to the den.

We’re heading back tomorrow, I have exams starting Monday.

Aw, okay, he pouted. I was hoping to have some company. I’m going to be bored out of my skull hanging out with my mum until September.

Sorry, I frowned. But you’re welcome to come and visit me in Leeds whenever you want, you know that right?

You can crash with us, Jason offered from behind us.

I blinked up at him and he smirked back with that hint of mischief in his eyes. He’d been pushing for me to move in with him. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to live with Jason, I spent most of my time at his anyway, but it felt too soon. I loved the man whole-heartedly but he featured heavily in all aspects of my life and I felt like I still had a little bit of growing left to do.

Jason, I still haven’t decided, I frowned at him.

I know, baby, he said softly. Sorry, I didn’t mean to pressure you. He pressed a gentle kiss to the top of my head as we reached the bottom of the stairs and I leaned back into him and took a second to enjoy the feel of him against me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and I wiggled against him contentedly. I may have accidentally rubbed my backside against his crotch, which earned me a growl that was sexy as hell and a warning squeeze on my hip.

You’ll pay for that later, he whispered in my ear.

I turned around and kissed him on the lips as I murmured a half-hearted apology. Jason’s version of paying for it usually involved mind-blowing orgasms, and lots of them. My simple kiss turned into something a little more meaningful as Jason pulled me into him.

Danny quickly dragged me away from Jason with a warning glare. I rolled my eyes in response and squealed as he pinched the back of my arm.

I gritted my teeth, trying to make sure I didn’t retaliate. The arm pinches were really starting to grate on me. When I glanced to my left, I caught Jason glaring at Danny. I knew he was only holding back because I begged him not to get into fights with my brothers. He hated it when they did things like that.

So… Jason, Alex grinned at me wickedly as we sat whispering in the far corner of the sofa.

The others, Jason included, were all watching some car racing film which didn’t seem to capture Alex’ interest at all. Not that that surprised me.

Jason, I nodded, feeling the grin break out on my face.

He’s hunky, Alex whispered with a giggle. You seem so happy with him, like you’ve come out of your shell a bit. I’m really happy for you, Jellybaby. He gave me a genuine smile and pulled me into a hug, which I returned gratefully. Alex knew better than anyone how shy and reserved I could be. I was trying not to let myself get swept aside as much though, trying to stand up for myself more often, with Jason’s encouragement. That was my New Year’s resolution.

Chapter 2

Saturday, 5th January 2013

When Jason and I finally went to bed, I was exhausted. We’d gotten up early to go for a run with Ian and Craig and now I was looking forward to curling up in bed with Jason.

I’m glad you finally met Alex, I smiled at him as I stripped off and hopped into bed.

He’s nice, Jason nodded, shuffling into bed beside me. I oughta take you over my knee for pulling that stunt, though.

I didn’t need any light in the room to feel his burning glare. I could hear it in his low, husky voice.

You wouldn’t, I said, my voice uncertain, but my muscles already clenching delightfully in anticipation.

You know I never step down from a challenge, baby, he chuckled, slipping his hands around me and pulling me against him. Spanking might not be a good idea with your brothers around. I’m sure I can think of something though. His lips met mine and his tongue thrust inside my mouth, caressing mine and allowing me to luxuriate in his exquisite taste.

I groaned into his mouth as he deepened the kiss and I felt his rock-hard cock pushing against me. My body responded to Jason’s as it always did – without any control on my part. I pushed back against him, enjoying the pulses of pleasure as I ground myself on his thick erection.

Jason pulled away from my mouth and my lips followed him hungrily, trailing kisses down his neck and over his chest. He rolled onto his back and I didn’t hesitate to climb on top of him so I could continue enjoying his skin against my lips as I greedily explored his upper body.

Sit up, Jason ordered, his eyes burning with fiery lust.

I pouted at the loss of contact, but the edge in his voice told me he was planning something fun. I sat back on Jason’s legs, waiting impatiently for him to make his next move.

He raised himself up so that we were facing and took my breast in his mouth, sucking gently on my nipple which hardened almost painfully in his mouth. I groaned as he teased me with his teeth and my back arched towards him

Shh, he admonished as he moved his attentions to my other breast, bringing his hands up to join his very talented tongue in its delightful exploration of my chest.

I clamped my mouth shut, very aware that quite a few of my brothers were home. I felt Jason remove one hand and search blindly in my bedside table for a condom. We were still going through them at an alarming rate and I’d promised to get on the pill as soon as we got back to Leeds.

On all fours, baby, Jason breathed, his lips against my neck, his breath tickling my oversensitive skin.

I obeyed gladly, the need to feel him inside me already overwhelming. Once I was in the requested position, Jason ran his fingers down my spine, causing my skin to erupt into pleasant goosebumps.

His fingers continued down, over my ass to between my thighs, where they began teasing me, rubbing slow circles against my clit. I tensed, forcing myself to remain still because I knew he’d drag this out if I didn’t and I was so desperate to have him inside of me.

Jason used his other hand to guide my legs further apart before pushing down gently on my shoulders so that my head rested against the mattress and my rear end was left rather exposed in mid-air. I gasped as I felt his tongue travelling the length of my slit, tracing the folds that craved his touch. I whimpered slightly as he sucked on my clit, fighting to remain still through the powerful tingling he elicited. It was intense, almost too intense, but Jason knew my body better than I did and the moment it became too much, he released my enflamed bud and returned to the delightful, long, slow licks.

The instant he withdrew his tongue, my hips bucked back, missing the contact. I heard Jason chuckle and knew he was going to make me pay for it.

Sorry, I moaned, my breathing ragged.

When will you learn to be still, my little squirrel? Came the husky response that almost had me wiggling my ass in his direction in a desperate plea for more.

I was trying, I promise, I pouted, attempting to make out his face in the dark.

I know, baby, he mollified, planting a gentle kiss on each ass cheek.

I felt his fingers on me once more. He pushed inside of me and began rotating them, massaging my inner walls. I barely held back a groan of frustration when he withdrew them before I reached my climax.

His fingers returned, this time in triplet, and forced their way back into me. My muscles protested at the tightness but that quickly gave way to pleasure when he began pulsing them in and out of me, bringing me ever closer to the brink.

Please don’t stop, I begged as I felt myself nearing my limit. I knew Jason was probably going to stop as punishment for not keeping still, but I hoped he’d take pity on me.

Why shouldn’t I stop, Jamie? He asked, slowing his fingers down just enough that the knot of pressure inside me couldn’t burst and give me the release my body craved.

Please, Jason, I groaned. Please let me come.

I’ll think about it, he teased, withdrawing his fingers entirely.

I bit down onto the sheet and buried my face to drown out my cry of frustration. Why is he doing this? He was never usually this cruel. He usually made a game of it, making me beg to get my release, or refusing to let me come until I’d proved I could hold still, but in the end he always lets me come. He’d been teasing me for what felt like an age but I still hadn’t had my release and I was starting to get frustrated to the point where it wasn’t fun anymore.

My complaints were quickly quashed as I heard Jason tearing the condom packet open. I groaned against the mattress as I felt him rub his tip up and down my moist slit teasingly before he pushed himself part way inside me. Jason stilled and I was grateful. No matter how many times we had sex, my body never seemed to acclimatise to his sheer size.

He traced my spine with his fingers before resting his hands on my hips and holding them firmly as he withdrew only to thrust back into me again. I moaned at the exquisite feeling of fullness, enjoying the powerful ripples of pleasure as he withdrew once more. Only his tip remained inside me before he thrust into me again. This time he entered me fully, sinking inside me to the very hilt, letting me feel every delightful inch of him as he stretched me beyond belief.

He began with long, slow, movements. Too slow. He withdrew to the tip before pushing himself back into me in controlled thrusts, massaging the magic point inside me that made wonderful things happen.

That feel good, Jamie? He whispered.

I nodded, unsure that I could conquer the mammoth task of speaking whilst he continued stroking that spot.

Tell me you like it, Jamie. I want to hear you say it.

I was already blushing, not that Jason could see. He’d know though. He knew me far too well. I was used to Jason’s bedroom banter. It wasn’t that I was shy or uncomfortable around him. That wasn’t the case at all. He was just so talented; always bringing me to my knees around him and it was fairly overwhelming sometimes.

It feels so good, I managed, barely recognising the sound of my voice over the obvious desperation it conveyed. Faster. Please, Jason. Faster.

No, Jamie. We’re going to do this nice and slow.

I was close to screaming with frustration. I wasn’t sure how much more I could take. I was dangerously close to asking him to stop because I got the sense he was punishing me for more than just my inability to keep still or the accidental teasing from earlier that evening.

He moved himself in and out of me slowly, controlling every movement and making sure I felt every ridge and groove of his cock as he teased me with it relentlessly.

Jason, please, I can’t take any more, I pleaded. I could feel his eyes searching for mine in the dark. I knew he was trying to decide how much further he could push me.

Patience, baby, he soothed as he swivelled his hips slightly, eliciting an almost pained groan from me.

He began increasing his pace, his right hand snaking round my hip to gently roll my clit between his finger and thumb. I was close, so close, to bursting around him when he pulled me up so that my arms were no longer on the bed. My back arched away from Jason to accommodate the position and my breast met with his hand as he kneaded the tender mound and tweaked its stiffened nub. I could feel my muscles begin to quicken their convulsions around him as he thrust in and out of me with his other hand on my hip. I’m so close.

Not yet, Jamie, he whispered in my ear.

I practically came just from the feel of his lips against my ear but I was too confused.

What? I breathed, impressed with myself for being able form an entire word despite the fact that I was dangerously close to finding my release.

I want you to hold it, baby. Don’t come yet.

I whimpered as his words sank in. How on earth am I meant to hold it? I had no control over my body at the best of times, let alone when Jason was driving me crazy with lust and desire.

I somehow managed to clench my teeth and force my body to wait as Jason began thrusting, harder now, with a sense of renewed urgency. The sound of his ragged breathing in my ear only served to make the task more difficult but I somehow forced my climax back. Despite the fact that being denied my release was pure torture, there was no refuting that I was more turned on than I ever have been in my life.

His hand travelled down from my breast and over my stomach, coming to rest on my abdomen and pushing gently as he began rubbing circles on my clit once more.

Come for me, Jamie, Jason growled in my ear, his voice revealing how close he was to his own release.

My body responded to his words almost instantaneously and I felt my muscles clenching around him, milking him as he shot ream after ream of hot liquid inside me. For a split second, my muscles strained and my body bowed, and then my mind went blank and the torturous tension finally exploded from my body. I was vaguely aware of Jason grunting my name as he held me against him and we collapsed to the bed together.

Jason rolled us over so that we were on our sides, my back to his front, before he eased himself out of me and removed the condom. He was back beside me in no time, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me closer to him.

Thank you, I breathed as he kissed the back of my head and I snuggled closer to him.

I heard Jason chuckle gently behind me. He’d long since given up telling me I didn’t need to say thank you. Jason treated my body to wondrous sensations such as the ones I was currently coming down from, no amount of thank-yous could convey my gratitude for that but it was the least I could do.

Are you mad at me? I breathed, my stomach clenching with worry as I waited nervously for him to respond. I didn’t want to ruin the moment but I had to know.

Jason’s arms tightened around me infinitesimally and he remained silent a while before he responded. Why do you ask?

I… it felt sort of like you were trying to punish me for real, I admitted, feeling my cheeks blush with humiliation. That’s how it had felt though. He hadn’t hurt me or castigated me but there was something about the way he’d touched me that was different. Most of the time when Jason touched me it was like he couldn’t stop, like he could barely rein himself in and had to touch every part of me. Tonight, he’d been quite controlled. It had been hot as hell but I needed to know that we were okay.

You think you need to be punished? He teased eventually, his fingers tracing circles on my stomach.

I didn’t know how to answer that. I’d been expecting a response to my question that would put my mind and ease but instead I was feeling like a small child who was about to get a thorough telling-off. A feeling that was neither unfamiliar nor welcome.

I… I don’t know, I managed, feeling the last of my post-orgasmic glow quickly fading away.

Sensing my discomfort Jason shifted in the bed so that I was on my back and he was on his side next to me. You don’t think you did anything wrong?

I wanted to say no, but I knew that I had usually done something wrong.

I’m sorry, I said quietly, worrying my bottom lip.

Hey, don’t do that, he admonished, his voice turning gentle. You never need to be that way with me.

What way? I ask, confused by his change of mood.

The way you are with your brothers, all scared and apologetic. I was just teasing you, baby. He pressed a gentle kiss to my cheek and I felt myself relax a little.

So you weren’t trying to punish me?

Jason shifted a little by my side and I knew that he was indeed trying to punish me. Maybe a little, he admitted, his voice tinged with guilt.

Why? I asked meekly, feeling equally guilty because if he wanted to punish me then I must have done something wrong.

You kissed Alex. His voice was calm, and if I hadn’t known him as well as I did, I might have believed the facade, but the twinge of anger and hurt in his voice didn’t escape me.

But he’s… Alex, I frowned. We’d always been that way. He gave me almost all of the happy memories I had from school and was the only guy who ever made me feel special, until I met Jason that is. Even if he hadn’t been gay, I would never have gotten into anything truly intimate with him because I valued his friendship, and what it meant to me, too highly.

I don’t care, Jamie. I don’t want to see any other man touching you like that, he said firmly.

Okay, I’m sorry, I frowned. I was glad it was dark, I didn’t want Jason to see how hurt I was that he didn’t trust me with my best friend.

No one else, man or woman, touches you. I don’t care if they’re gay or straight. I’m the only one that get’s to touch you, because you’re mine.

I took a second to absorb his words. I never got tired of hearing Jason say that I was his. It made me feel so safe and wanted. I considered for a second how I would have felt if I saw Jason kissing another girl, even if she was a lesbian. The thought did unpleasant things to my stomach.

I’m sorry, I didn’t really think it through. I turned over so that I was lying on my side and facing him. I wrapped my arm around him and nuzzled up against his chest, enjoying my favourite sensation: skin against skin. It won’t happen again, I promise. Please don’t be mad at me. I could hear the whimper in my voice and knew I sounded a bit pathetic but I couldn’t stomach the idea of Jason being mad at me.

Jason sighed and returned my embrace, wrapping both his arms around me and letting me rest my head on his strong bicep.

I’m sorry too. He let his breath rush out over my hair and I squirmed a little from the tickling sensations. Jealousy is a relatively new emotion for me and I guess I’m not so good at handling it.

You could have just talked to me, you know, I pouted against his peck. Instead of withholding orgasms. I buried my head a little further under his chin just in case there was enough light that he could see my burning cheeks.

I liked my way better, he grinned against my hair.

I couldn’t deny I had enjoyed it, but then again, I always enjoyed being with Jason. Especially when no clothing was involved.

I love you, I said, tilting my head back and kissing his strong, stubble lined jaw.

I love you too, my little squirrel.

Chapter 3

Sunday, 6th January 2013

I crept out of the bed, careful not to wake Jason. Stretching my arms above my head, I looked down at my pile of clothes, trying to decide what to wear. My eyes had just rested on a dark green, flowing shirt when the bedroom door burst open and one of the twins walked in unceremoniously. He glanced over at me quickly, then looked away as he realised I was naked. He made no move to leave though.

Dressed. Now, he ordered, keeping his eyes on Jason who was now very much awake.

What the fuck? Can’t you see she’s getting dressed? Get out! Jason demanded, sitting up in the bed. The duvet thankfully covered his lower half so it wasn’t obvious that he was naked as well.

Kitchen, five minutes, the twin ordered. I think it was Rick. He flounced out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

Fucking moron, Jason mumbled, smashing the poor cushion in anger. They have absolutely no respect for your privacy.

It’s fine, Jason, I sighed. I was a little annoyed by it, but they’d always been that way. You have to remember that they raised me, they have a hard time adjusting to me being an adult.

You wouldn’t find me treating Benji like that, he grumbled.

I didn’t want to get into an argument with him. I knew he found my family hard to come to terms with but it was hardly the same situation. My brothers had been raising me since I was a baby; even before Dad died they were always there for me, despite everything. I caused so much trouble over the years and their support never wavered. Jason had rescued Ben from a bad situation and always viewed him as a brother, not a burden. Therein lies the difference.

I rushed to throw my clothes on. Rick had sounded pissed and I didn’t want to keep him waiting. I bent down to give Jason a kiss and then rushed down the stairs to the kitchen.

Took you long enough, Rick frowned as I joined him by the island.

Sorry, I mumbled, my eyes on the tiled floor. A flicker of irritation hit me for being snapped at for no reason but I pushed it back.

He handed me a glass of orange juice and a slice of toast. I thanked him and started on them immediately.

You’ve got two minutes, Danny nodded.

Two minutes until what? I frowned. They both seemed more than pissed at me and I didn’t understand why. Not wanting to piss them off further, I wolfed down my toast and knocked back the orange juice. I nipped into the bathroom to brush my teeth and freshen up. Sighing, I straightened my clothes, gave my hair a quick once over with my fingers and went back out into the kitchen.

In the car, Rick grunted, pointing towards the front door.

I’ll just grab my handbag, I nodded.

Now, Danny growled.

But, my phone-

Rick scowled and grabbed my upper arm firmly, dragging me towards the door. I stumbled, trying to match his pace. He let go of me and gave me chance to put my shoes on by the door but snatched me away again, dragging me through the door before I had chance to grab my jacket.

My breath caught in the chilly January air and my skin broke out in goosebumps. Rick released my arm once more as we reached the car and he nudged me into the back seat. I could feel tears building and bit them back. I don’t understand why they’re being like this. What have I done wrong this time? I sat silently in the back seat and buckled in, waiting for them to drive.

They completely ignored me during the drive. I hoped one of the others would be able to tell Jason where I’d gone and that he wouldn’t be mad at me for leaving without saying anything. I shivered slightly, hoping the car would heat up soon. I was only wearing the long-sleeved, green shirt and it wasn’t even close to appropriate protection from the mid-winter temperatures.

I listened idly to the twins talking business. It didn’t make much sense to me but I got the impression they were a little stressed about something. Danny drove and pulled up the car outside a supermarket. Apparently we’re going food shopping. I opened the door and got out the car quickly, shoving my hands in my pockets in an attempt to keep them warm.

Hurry up, Danny scowled.

I quickened my pace, not wanting to give them reason to drag me around by the arm in front of the other early morning