Celebrating Love's Special Moments

By Vlady Peters

All celebrations of love are like little dramas, needing the right scenes, the right script, the right players. Celebrating Love’s Special Moments is all about taking the event and placing it in the right context, with the appropriate accoutrements, to allow the players to make of it something to remember.

It deals with both formal and informal celebrations that surround love, whether expressed as a legal commitment, such as a wedding, or an emotional one such as retirement. To the old well -known occasions have been added a few innovations, including the celebration of separation when disillusioned partners are ready to break away; perhaps even willing to search out another love.

So, wherever the readers happen to be in life right now - in love and loving it!, married and deliriously happy at it, bringing home a bundle of joy and amazed at their cleverness at producing it, separating and ready for self-discovery - this book is for them. Whether rich or poor, young or mature, party animal or just animal, this book will show how to celebrate love as an individualist, how to celebrate it as a traditionalist, and how to enjoy it irrespective.

Part One - The Event
In the Beginning - St Valentine’s Day

First Step - The Engagement

Meeting of the Giants - The In-Laws

Out of the Box - The Bridal Shower

Pretty Maids all in a Row - The Bridesmaids’ Party

Boys Night Out - The Bucks’ Party

Gathering of the Clans - Rehearsal Dinner

Oh What a Sight! - Viewing the Gifts

And Two shall become One - The Wedding

Alone at Last - The Honeymoon

At Home - Open House

Home Sweet Home - Blessing of the House

Try to Remember - Wedding Anniversary

Once More with Feelings - Renewing of Vows

When Love is All there is - The Commitment

Welcome to the World - Baby Naming

The Two of Them - Mothers’ and Fathers’ Day

Goodbye to All That - Separation

What Next? - Retirement

Empty Nest - Alone but not Lonely

Ashes to Ashes - Celebrating Life

Part Two - Setting the Scene

Part Three - Catering

Bibliography

• Language: English
• Publisher: Vlady Peters
• Release date: Oct 21, 2013
• ISBN: 9780987322128

Vlady Peters

Planning a Wedding Ceremony? Vows Renewal? Baby Naming?Budgeting for your Honeymoon Travel or the decorations for your Wedding Day?Looking for Wedding Vows that will exactly express what you feel?Have you been asked to officiate at a Vows Renewal Ceremony for a family member, or a Baby Naming Ceremony for a friend?Whatever the occasion and wherever it is to take place, whether it’s simple or formal, money no object or need to keep the ceremony budget in mind, you will find everything you’re looking for in this author’s books.Whether you want a traditional Wedding Ceremony or looking forward to creating a Wedding Ceremony all your own, whether you intend to have a Wedding Reception at home or leaving all the details to a professional Wedding Planner, whether you intend to spend your Honeymoon just up the road from where you live, or travel miles into the exotic world, you’ve come to the right place to learn how to plan that special event.

Book preview

Celebrating Love’s Special Moments

by

V M Peters

Disclaimer

This book was written as a guide only and does not claim to be the final definitive word on any of the subjects covered. The statements made and opinions expressed are the personal observations and assessments of the author based on her own experiences and were not intended to prejudice any party. There may be errors or omissions in this guide. As such, the author or publisher does not accept any liability or responsibility for any loss or damage that may have been caused, or alleged to have been caused, thought use of the information contained in this book.

Celebrating Love’s Special Moments

by

V M Peters

Copyright 2013 V M Peters

Smashwords Edition

Books by V Peters published by Smashwords:

Love and Romance Book

1. Californian Poppy: A Love Story

Self-Help Books

1. 1,000+ Answers to Your Wedding Questions

2. Wedding Your Way

3. Honeymoon! A Sizzle or a Fizzle: Prepare Mentally, Physically and Emotionally for the Best Time of Your Life

4. Celebrating Love’s Special Moments

5. How to be a Profitable Celebrant: Practical Tips on Running a Profitable Celebrancy Business

6. You can be a Successful Officiant

7. Wedding Words: Perfect Words for your Wedding Ceremony

8. Cool Foods for Hot Lovers

9. World's Hottest Lovers

10. Celebrant and Ceremonies

ISBN: 978-0-9873221-2-8

Table of Contents

Introduction

Part One - The Event

St Valentine’s Day

The Engagement

Meeting The In-Laws

The Bridal Shower

The Bridesmaids’ Party

The Bucks’ Party

Rehearsal Dinner

Viewing the Gifts

The Wedding

The Honeymoon

Open House

Blessing of the House

Wedding Anniversary

Renewing of Vows

The Commitment

Baby Naming

Mothers’ and Fathers’ Day

Separation

Retirement

Empty Nest

Celebrating Life

Part Two - Celebrating the Event

Part Three - Catering for the Event

Bibliography

Introduction

From the beginning of time love has been an excuse for numerous celebrations of various styles. The extravagance of some has brought people to the brink of bankruptcy, has caused bank managers heart palpitations and parents, panic attacks.

And yet, though much money and even more time is expanded on the planning of these events, for every vibrant celebration there are dozen that are less than exhilarating.

All celebrations of love are like little dramas, needing the right scenes, the right script, the right players. Celebrating Love’s Special Moments is all about taking the event and placing it in the right context, with the appropriate accoutrements, to allow the players to make of it something to remember.

It deals with both formal and informal celebrations that surround love, whether expressed as a legal commitment, such as a wedding, or an emotional one such as retirement. To the old well -known occasions have been added a few innovations, including the celebration of separation when disillusioned partners are ready to break away; perhaps even willing to search out another love.

So, wherever the readers happen to be in life right now - in love and loving it!, married and deliriously happy at it, bringing home a bundle of joy and amazed at their cleverness at producing it, separating and ready for self-discovery - this book is for them. Whether rich or poor, young or mature, party animal or just animal, this book will show how to celebrate love as an individualist, how to celebrate it as a traditionalist, and how to enjoy it irrespective.

Part One - The Event

St Valentine’s Day

I Love You, Yes I Do

The tradition of St. Valentine’s Day continues to be a matter for conjecture. Some have it that St. Valentine’s day, based on the festival of lovers celebrated by the early Romans, really had nothing to do with saintliness. The original festival was a deliberate way of introducing young men and women to each other with the hope that this meeting of strangers would end in courtship and marriage. Celebrated on the 15th February early Christian fathers tried to hide the pagan aspect of the festival by changing the date to 14th February, the date of the martyred St. Valentine.

However, the change of date failed to turn lovers’ minds from love to religion. Instead of worshipping St. Valentine they merely changed their pastime from 15th to 14th February with poor St. Valentine, who was brutally murdered, becoming a Saint of lovers for absolutely no reason at all. Over the centuries the original orgy-like celebration became more refined. By 1416, tradition has it that when Charles, Duke of Orleans was captured by the English and installed in the Tower of London, he sent a love poem to his wife on St. Valentine’s Day, February 14th.

A different story has it that St. Valentine was, indeed, a priest who performed Christian marriages forbidden by the then Roman Emperor Claudius in the 3rd century AD. Discovered, he was thrown into jail and eventually put to death. While in jail, it is said that he fell in love with the jailer’s daughter and it was he that, on the day of his death, left a note for his love signed, ‘Your Valentine’.

Don’t Talk of Love, Show Me!

The gift most associated with St. Valentine’s Day is the Valentine card which has been around in its present form since 1700. It can be highly sentimental, humorous or symbolic. Its decorations include symbols associated with love, such as the cupid or hearts and flowers. Some may have a verse; others are left blank to allow the lovers to compose an original verse of their own.

To personalise the card, computer buffs create their own. Others, following the example of earlier years, will hand-craft the card, using heavy cardboard and embellishing it with a photograph, pieces of ribbon and lace, or dried flowers or pressed flowers.

In the meantime florists will be filling their shops with single roses, or huge floral arrangements complete with a teddy bear or a heart-shaped balloon proclaiming ‘I love you’. In the nurseries lovers can pick a pot plant ready to be planted in the garden as a lasting memory of their love.

Following the old tradition some lovers surprise their partner by placing the gift on the doorstep first thing in the morning. After ringing the bell to get the partner to come to the door they then disappear before the door is opened. The spirit of the celebration requires that the name of the giver is not attached. Gifts that have been given include pieces of furniture, ornaments, personal toiletries and stationery sets. To underscore the tradition of surprise a very tiny gift is often gift-wrapped in layers and layers of paper which ends in a huge box that gives no indication of the reality of the gift.

Weddings are often celebrated when St. Valentine’s falls on a week-end. When it falls during the week, many romantic couples celebrate their Renewal of Vows, Commitment or their Anniversary. Celebrants will draft certificates with St. Valentine’s themes such as hearts or cherubs, adding Victorian graphics since St Valentine’s was a popular day during the Victorian era.

Celebration and food go hand in hand. And so with St. Valentine’s Day. Some bakers are producing a heart-shaped valentine cake which comes either as a large cake or as small individual cakes. In the past these cakes came in all sorts of shapes and tastes including Valentine buns, gingerbread biscuits, and sponge cakes.

Back to the Top

The Engagement

The Proposal

Having found love that appears to be strong enough for genuine commitment the first step is the engagement. Now, it is true, that many engagements take place in the most mundane way. There’s the boring favourite, ‘We’ve been going together for sixty years - how about it?’ or the predictable one, ‘My mother wants to know when are we’re going to get married?’ and the popular one, ‘I’m about to have our sixth child, perhaps we should be thinking of getting married?’

Depressing to think that these will be the kind of memories being stored by the partners and served to their children when they get old enough to be interested.

It doesn’t have to be like that. Partners usually know when the matter of marriage is on the horizon and can orchestrate the engagement accordingly. For starters, clueing the partner that tonight will be a special night will ensure that both partners turn up looking their very best. There are tales of brides designing their wedding dresses on the one in which they said ‘yes’.

As for the venue, romantic lovers have popped the question at the stroke of midnight while enjoying a midnight swim. Some have chosen a restaurant to which the partners have returned over and over again. Engagements have taken place in hot-air balloons, on top of high buildings, on the steps of opera houses. In short, anyplace out of the ordinary enough to create a lasting memory.

So much for the private moment. What about the more formal matter of engagement? In the past that would have meant consultation with parents or other responsible relatives. Questions would be raised. How desirable the partner? How financial? What future prospects? Where prospects were non-existent the engagement might drag on for years. Today, by the time partners decide to get engaged, marriage is as close as they want to make it - usually no longer than two years. And while parents’ permission is rarely sought, the news is usually broken in private. Again, no harm in preparing a little.

Somewhere out there might be families who keep champagne on tap just on the off-chance that their son or daughter will drop in and announce their engagement. More likely, the fridge will hold nothing more exciting that a bottle of orange juice and some cold water in an old plastic milk bottle.

By accepting the realities of life the couple will not race home immediately they’ve confirmed the matter between themselves and blurt the news while their parents are deep in their newspaper and a cup of tea. Instead, they will invest in the necessary items, suggest that something wonderful is in the air, and arrive at the home when the family is ready to receive them glass in hand and a little speech of welcome.

At this stage the couple might be ready to break the news to the rest of the world. Writing a hundred little personal notes is one option, sitting on the telephone for hours is another. But throwing a party and making an announcement is usually the option that most people prefer.

The engagement party is the only party that works as a surprise party - mainly because it’s the guests who are surprised. They arrive thinking only how nice to be let off preparing their own dinner. When hours later they find out that there’s a wedding in the air, they can’t help but be pleased.

Traditionally the engagement party is arranged by the family of the bride, the first of the dipping deeply into their pocket that will be their portion until the last drink has been drunk at the reception. If partners are not traditionalist, or have long gone beyond relying on their family, they will throw the party themselves. Even so, they might keep the reason for it a secret, especially if they’re not sure of the reaction of their friends. People are more comfortable when they’ve had time to get used to a new development. After a few drinks and a couple of biscuits they’ll start unwinding and the news will seem the best they’ve heard for years.

Even if the engagement is a sort of public secret, for maximum impact, the finger is kept free of that ring until the announcement is made. Placing the ring on the finger, while standing there before all the well-wishers, has the grandeur and inevitability which the engagement used to have in the past. An engagement, in days gone by, was a serious business. Trying to wriggle out of it could mean a family feud at best, and legal action, at worst.

Some couples are making their engagement a more formal celebration by having a celebrant presiding over an exchanging of vows as well as of rings. Their vows can be anything from a formal, almost wedding vows style, to a light-hearted poem recited by the couple to each other. The rings will be the traditional engagement ring for her, and something more masculine for him. Another reason for such a formal commitment in front of all the friends and relatives is when a couple is half-thinking of celebrating their marriage overseas. The engagement takes the place of the wedding ceremony that will not be viewed by those present.

Once the vows and the rings are exchanged, an animated burst of applause is very appropriate; as is a toast to the happy couple initiated by a parent or a good friend.

Girl’s Best Friend

Nothing so small as the engagement ring has symbolised so much, for so many, for so long. It’s a romantic gesture for the ring to be offered at the same time as when the question is being popped. But unless the tastes of the two partners are extremely similar it may not be as successful as it looks in movies.

Far more likely, the couples will want to rush off to the jeweller to choose something together. Before they do, they should check with their parents in case there’s some family heirloom just waiting for such an occasion. It could be the perfect ring. Or, perhaps, have the making of a perfect ring. Refashioning a family ring into an individual piece may mean something unique - not to mention a talking point once the news is made public.

The most popular engagement ring continues to be a diamond. Beautiful, durable, and extremely expensive, it has been considered fashionable since 1477 when Archduke Maximillian of Austria gave one to Mary of Burgundy. Apart from its beauty, its Greek word meaning unconquerable, is symbolically satisfying for couples who see their union as lasting for ever.

Generally speaking the size of the diamond determines its price. The bigger the rock, the bigger the price. Other factors, few amateurs look at, is the clarity of its colour, absence of any flaws in the stone, and the way the surface has been faceted. Because of its strength the diamond can be cut into more numerous shapes than most gem stones.

Although one can’t put a price on love, but must put a price on the ring, the couple decide what they can afford before they ever enter a jewellery store. Many foolish gestures have been made by lovers who couldn’t resist the pleadings of the beloved when faced with a ring that was ten times more expensive than they could afford. Unscrupulous sales assistants play on the embarrassment of a person who wants to say ‘no’, but at the same time fears to appear cheap or mean in front of the one they love.

Mind you, if at this stage one partner begins to feel that the other partner is uncomfortably and unexpectedly careful about money, or, contrariwise, has no regard for money at all, it could be that first hint that the partners might not be quite as compatible as they thought. If they search their hearts honestly now they avoid throwing that separation party in the future.

Apart from looking at the stone, which hopefully won’t need to be done with a magnifying glass, the next consideration will be the setting and the band. This will be either gold, silver or platinum. Silver, being more plentiful than gold, is cheaper but does not wear as well as gold. Platinum, another white metal, is stronger than gold, but a lot more expensive.

If the partners are comfortable with the idea that their engagement is leading them directly to the alter and is not a probationary period, the wedding ring will be chosen at the same time. It will ensure that the designs match, that the bands are narrow enough to sit comfortably on the finger, and that the metals are both equally durable and not likely to wear down by constantly rubbing against each other.

In the past the diamond showed off its beauty by rising from a claw-like setting known as solitaire. Unfortunately, this setting was meant for ladies of leisure, which so few ladies these days are; consequently the current trend is for the diamond to be enclosed completely in a rounder, smoother frame, to protect the stone from damage, and from its edges being caught during everyday work. The stone is often surrounded by smaller pieces of diamond or other precious stones.

If the partner had never been a diamond person, or even a jewellery person, she might follow the example of some of the members of royal family, who have rediscovered precious and semi-precious stones, a favoured tradition from the Queen Victoria’s time. The lovers of those times chose gemstones for the meaning of the stone itself, or used the first letter of the stones to spell out either the name of that special person, or a word signifying their bond of love.

The wearing of precious stones goes back to the earliest civilisations where stones were imbued with magical properties. Even today there are people who wear this or that stone against their skin because it calms them or excites them or eases their rheumatism. But the most common reason for choosing a particular gemstone, apart from the fact that it appeals to the partner, is that it stands for the zodiac sign under which the person was born. It is considered lucky if the stone belongs to the groom’s zodiac sign rather than the bride’s.

Birth stones

The stones include:-

Turquoise - a blue stone which is supposed to indicate harmony and happiness for those born under the sign of Capricorn.

Garnet - a red stone symbolising faith and constancy for those born under the sign of Aquarius.

Amethyst - purple in colour, meaning sincerity, for those born under the sign of Pisces.

Aquamarine - a blue-green stone symbolising courage and happiness for those born under the sign of Aries.

Diamond - standing for the Taurus sign, has the symbolic meaning of innocence and purity.

The Emerald - associated with Venus the goddess of love and its green colour with growth, is the sign of Gemini and means success in love.

Pearls - or agate are used by those born under the sign of Cancer and symbolise wisdom.

Rubies - considered by the ancients as priceless, are used by those born under the sign of Leo to keep their passion within appropriate bounds. Those trying marriage for the second or third time might give it a try!

Peridots - or sardonyx are stones belonging to the sign of Virgo and denote contentment.

Sapphires - associated with the blue of heaven, symbolise peace and wisdom, and belong to the sign of Libra.

Opal - represents the sign of Scorpio and is symbolic for good luck and everlasting love.

Topaz - belongs to the sign of Sagittarius and is believed to give long life to those who wear it.

What About Him?

While the bride waves her hand every which way to show off her ring what about him? Well, unless he’s a jewellery person, he mightn’t be looking forward to his wedding band let alone any other symbol of his bride’s affection for him. But if the idea of something for him appeals, but he doesn’t want it on his hands - perhaps there are other things.

What about a tie pin, or a pin for his coat lapel? Didn’t Joe Girard (Guinness Book of Records top salesman) say that he liked to wear a No.1 pin on his coat to remind himself that he was a number one person in his life? Nothing to stop the bride from buying some little piece of jewellery that he can wear everyday to remind him that he is number one person in her life.

Napoleon had a rather interesting idea when he presented Josephine with the engagement ring. To ensure that he was always on her mind, his engagement ring consisted of two gems - a diamond for her, and a sapphire for him.

Known as the ‘me and you’ setting, Napoleon, quite an egotist as we know, hoped that whenever Josephine looked at the ring, she would not stop at just admiring the rather small diamond. but rather be reminded what the two gems stood for - me and you.

Sharing with Friends

There are myriad stories about engagements getting off on the wrong foot by the couple inviting or not inviting this or that person to their party. Irritating as it seems to couples to be constrained as to who should or should not be invited to their party, it appears to be unfortunately too true that celebrations of love have acquired a public face, where the public refuses to be ignored.

People, who epitomise rationality under every other circumstance, suddenly become positively irrational when they are cut out of the engagement list. Sure, the partners may cry, ‘It’s our engagement. We should decide what we want to do’. But they must accept that their choice may alienate people unnecessarily; and for ever.

They need to ask themselves whether it’s worth the hassle of having to explain themselves why they could do such an awful thing to this or that person who’ve never been anything but considerate to them.

In any case the engagement party should be the most flexible party ever. At this stage the wedding could be years into the future. But even if it’s not, an invitation to an engagement doesn’t necessarily mean an invitation to a wedding. It’s merely sharing good news with all and sundry. Unless finance is a problem the party can include absolutely everybody. No venue large enough? Consider having two parties. The first one might include relatives only, and the second one friends. Or if this is an engagement of a very young couple, the first party will be for the more mature, the second for the young.

Relatives are always a touchy business. Taking them for granted is a recipe for disaster. The most anti-social person, who has absolutely no desire to attend the party, might still feel very put out by being left out. And there are many older relatives who might infinitely prefer to give the party a miss and catch up on the news with a cup of tea with the couple or their parents. However, instead of taking a stab in the dark, it’s far better to err on the side of caution.

Generally speaking the engagement is an informal party with a minimum of speeches or any formal traditions. Couples don’t see any need to send out invitations to people living hundreds of miles away. But certainly a note of the event is usually posted out to inform them so that they learn of the engagement before it becomes public knowledge. The second and third cousins are also usually ignored unless the couple come from families who take family celebrations seriously or where the relatives are living in a close community where they could not help but know that they had not been invited.

The most practical and public method of announcing the engagement is the placing of a formal notice in the local newspaper.

Because often the engagement is supposed to be a secret at the time guests are being invited to the party, gifts are not expected. In any case, there will be so many gift-giving parties by the time the wedding day comes around, that a gift-free engagement party is probably appreciated. When the engagement is not being kept a