The Family You Choose

By Deborah Nam-Krane

Miranda Harel has been in love with her guardian Alex Sheldon since she was five years old, and Michael Abbot has despised them both for just as long. When Miranda finds out why she wants both men out of her life for good and questions everything she believed about where and who she came from. Finding out the truth will break her heart. Without family or true love, will her friends be enough?

The Family You Choose is Book Two in The New Pioneers series.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Deborah Nam-Krane
• Release date: Sep 27, 2013
• ISBN: 9781301036516

Deborah Nam-Krane

Deborah Nam-Krane is a Boston-based writer who has been telling stories in one way or another since she could talk. In addition to writing romance/chick lit/women's fiction, she's also intensely interested in education, history, economics, policy and media literacy- that is, when her four children (two of whom are homeschooled) allow her to be.

Book preview

CHAPTER 1

Miranda Judith Harel was busily putting the final touches on Mitch and Emily’s belated wedding reception. They’d been married for over a week but they’d spent three days in Rhode Island and another two on the Cape. And then there was a little black hole in time which they both refused to account for. Miranda had snickered with Zainab and Jessie about it. Who knew that Mitch’s little basement studio could be so romantic?

It was all the more time for Miranda to plan and set up for her fabulous reception. Most of it was easy enough. It was nothing to pick up the phone and order food, flowers (although finding a caterer who could provide good vegan options was surprisingly difficult), and labor to help with the physical setups. It was managing her guardian, Alex, which was a challenge.

It’s your house, Miranda. You can have a party whenever you’d like, Alex said.

It’s your house too, and I think you’d like to meet my friends. She was not going to let him squirm away from attending.

I’ve known Richard longer than you have, and I’ve known Jessie since before she was born.

But you haven’t met Emily, or Zainab, she paused. Or Mitch.

No, I haven’t, but their reputations precede them, particularly Mr. Graham’s.

Miranda stood up a little straighter. Did he have any idea how hard she’d worked to get any of them through the door? I would like to think that if Michael did to me what he did to Emily, the least of his worries would be a nose filled with spinach dip, Miranda snipped.

Alex had a gaze that had unnerved many. There wouldn’t be anything left by the time I was through.

But Miranda was unmoved. Then meeting them should be easier, she said with a smile.

Alex looked at the floor. And what about Jessie and Richard? I haven’t seen them...in quite a while.

Richard will be as gracious as he always is and Jessie is really here for me. More silence. Martin’s coming too—I don’t think he’s heard anything about us and he’s very funny. And you will love Zainab—she’s better traveled than even you are and possibly the nicest person I’ve ever met. She paused. And you wouldn’t want someone like that to think you were too good for a party in your own home, right?

He smiled. Right. Miranda reached over and squeezed his hand. But not the whole time, he said. I’ll make an appearance, but don’t plan around me, alright?

Of course.

~~~

Richard, Jessie and Zainab were the first guests to arrive. Richard was even quieter than usual. Jessie looked at Miranda, and then looked around the room to make sure it was clear. He’s not here, Jess, Miranda said quietly, giving her a little hug as she whispered, and you know I’m just looking for an excuse to kill him anyway.

Jessie snickered and hugged her back. Just let me know when so I can help.

Sweet, wonderful Zainab gave Miranda a big hug of her own. Her smile was even wider than usual. She squeezed Miranda’s hand to let her know that everything would be okay. Then Zainab asked Richard to give her a little tour before the others arrived.

Martin was next to arrive. Hello gorgeous, he said. Richard and Zainab were still on the tour (Richard did a lot of things more slowly since he’d met Zainab) so she introduced Martin to Jessie. Ohhh, Jessie said loudly. So you’re Martin. I think Emily mentioned you a few times.

Did she now? Interesting, because we only had that one date—and there were more people there, and of course she wasn't dating me. Anyway, I hope Mitch has been kind in whatever he said about me.

No clue, Jessie shrugged. I haven’t met the infamous Mr. Graham.

Wow. Well, he did have a serious lapse of judgment back then, but infamy doesn’t generally cling to him.

Then what does Emily see in him? She doesn’t like guys who aren’t kind of mean and twisted in some way.

Does the same apply to her friends?

Only this one. Zainab, Miranda and most of her long-distance friends are nice enough.

Long-distance friends?

You know, high school friends who went to a real college.

Okay, so I take it you don’t think too much of our fine university?

And neither should you. It’s built on a foundation of lies, murder and corruption.

And how might you know that?

One of my great-grandfathers founded it.

Oh. Martin was impressed. I guess you didn’t have to worry about the admissions requirements.

I can get in on my own merits, even without the name.

Can?

Jessie winked. Not an issue yet.

Was he still breathing? And when will it be?

In about two years, Jessie smirked.

Martin swallowed hard. Right. So, can I get you some juice or something? Jessie giggled as he walked over to the beverages. Miranda shook her head, laughing to herself.

The last expected door chime finally sounded. Miranda inhaled and opened the door. There they were, the bright, happy couple. Only they didn’t look too happy.

Emily was radiant in a white cotton summer dress with a light blue sash, a grown up version of something a seven-year-old might wear to a birthday party. Her hair was pulled back and her cheekbones looked sharp against the rest of her full face. She was gorgeous, even with the forced smile.

Mitch, tanned from all the days at the beach with his new wife, was not smiling. He was still handsome in the suit and shirt he was wearing, but his eyes shot out ice and fire.

Miranda, thank you so much! Emily eased Mitch’s grip on her and embraced Miranda. Everything looks beautiful. You shouldn’t have gone to so much trouble.

Are you kidding me? She looked at Emily, but she could feel Mitch’s eyes boring a hole through her. You didn’t think you’d get out of having a reception just because you eloped, did you?

Now that wasn’t why we ran off…

Right, it was just to make sure we didn’t talk you out of doing something stupid! Jessie bounded over and pulled Emily into a hug. You idiot! What the Hell were you thinking? Oh, hi—I’m Jessie. You must be Mitch. Jessie stuck her hand almost in Mitch’s face.

He stood back then took her hand and shook it. Hi. Nice to finally put a face to...all the stories.

Stories, huh? Jessie giggled. Martin was just telling me all about Ireland.

Mitch turned white. Excuse me, he mumbled, and immediately turned to walk over to Martin. He pointed to Jessie and threw up his hands. Martin shrugged, gave him a drink and laughed.

Wow, Em, he’s so intense! Jessie said at a stage whisper. I can really see what you like about him.

Mm hmm, and you’re pretty rotten. You’ll like him once you get to know him. Scratch that—you’ll like him once you get to talk to him.

I don’t know. He’s being about as nice to Miranda as your last loser was to me. What’s the difference again?

Mitch isn’t a lying, drug-dealing psychopath?

Eh, all the same to me. It was the pompous I didn’t like the last time.

Richard and Zainab, red and smiling, returned. Miranda made a mental note to check through all of the bedrooms after everyone left for any signs of mischief.

Em! Zainab ran over to hug Emily and Richard kissed her on the cheek. Mitch came back to Emily and wrapped his arm around her waist. Congratulations, Richard said, shaking Mitch’s free hand. You are both full of surprises.

Good ones, right? Emily smiled.

Richard chuckled. This is definitely a good surprise.

So glad you approve, Mitch said, tightening his grip on Emily. And what did you do to celebrate your graduation?

Nothing, for the first time in...forever, Zainab chimed in. Did you guys know that he actually knows how to sleep? It’s amazing! And we’ve watched a little TV and we’ve even gone to the movies. It’s like Richard’s a real person all of a sudden.

Hmm, Jessie said. You must get that from your dad’s side of the family. No, that couldn’t be, actually. Are you sure you’re really my cousin Richard?

Who else would take this much smack from you? Richard said, chucking Jessie gently under the chin. Emily, Zainab and Miranda looked at each other for a moment, trying to absorb Richard’s really awkward use of slang. Miranda was the first one to break, and soon everyone was giggling.

The spell of laughter was broken when the front door opened and Alex Sheldon walked into his living room.

Alex was in his late forties. His features might have been too big for his face when he was younger, but now it gave him an almost craggy, rugged handsomeness. His wavy hair was halfway between gray and black, and his very dark eyes were impossible to penetrate.

Hello, Richard, good to see you. Jessie, dear, how are you?

Just fine, Jessie said, then turned to walk away.

Good to hear. And you must be Zainab. I’ve heard a great deal about you. He introduced himself to Martin, and then he made his way over to the newlyweds. Nothing is as unmistakable as a newly married couple. Congratulations.

Thank you, Emily said with a small nod. Mitch and I really appreciate you letting us use your home like this.

As I’m sure you’ve discovered, once Miranda gets an idea in her head, no one has any peace until she sees it through.

That sounds… ruthless, Mitch said, never letting his eyes leave Alex’s. Something she might have picked up from you?

Everyone else in the room stopped breathing, but Alex smiled. If Miranda has learned anything from me, it’s more what not to do than what to repeat. Although, he said, I do hope she understands the value of protecting the people she loves.

It is, Mitch said, lowering his voice and making it even deeper than usual, something I understand very well myself.

Jessie and Martin looked at each other and then everyone else in the room. Wow, Miranda, you didn’t tell me we were going to get entertainment too. Thanks, but maybe Martin and I can go into the kitchen and get some food while the rest of you act this out?

No, I think we’re all ready for food, Alex said, not letting his eyes waiver from Mitch’s. Wouldn’t you agree?

Absolutely. I think we’ve said what we needed to.

Miranda and Alex seated themselves at opposite ends of the table. Richard and Zainab flanked Alex while Mitch and Emily sat on either side of Miranda. Martin sat in between Emily and Zainab with Jessie in between Richard and Mitch. Miranda nodded approvingly. Richard would keep an eye on Jessie, especially through the wine course.

As Miranda had hoped, Zainab engaged Alex in conversation, pulling Richard in as well. It was a little hard to make out, but Miranda was pretty sure she heard something about South African wine vineyards and potential investment in Namibia.

Jessie divided her time between tormenting Richard and teasing her newest prey. Miranda pitied Martin, but she couldn’t stop laughing when she looked at them. He was a decent guy who didn’t want to be accused of anything with a sixteen-year-old but he still couldn’t take his eyes off of her. And Jessie knew it, so she kept talking and laughing and distracted him every time he tried to say something to Mitch. Richard couldn’t decide between being annoyed, nervous or amused himself.

Mitch could have used a little conversation with Martin. As it was, he was dividing his time between his food and intense glances at his wife. Emily tried repeatedly to pull him into a conversation with her and Miranda, but he wouldn’t have any of it. Jessie, on a brief respite from playing with Martin, looked at the two of them out of the corner of her eye. Yeah, Em, you’re right! she practically shouted. Conversation is key! Mitch glared at her and Martin looked around nervously. Jessie, would you like to trade seats?

When dinner was over, Jessie walked up to Martin. Zainab and Richard are giving me a ride home, but they’re not going to stay. I’ll be all by myself. Want to keep me company?

Before Martin could say anything, Miranda threw her arm around Jessie’s shoulder. I think I’ll come over and we’ll have a little slumber party tonight. What do you say?

Fine! Jessie groaned. None of you are any fun.

Emily hugged Miranda and Zainab goodbye, promising to call later, and Mitch dragged Martin out before he could consider Jessie’s offer. Miranda kissed Zainab and Jessie good-bye before closing the door.

She turned to Alex. Thank you for staying.

Zainab is really lovely and surprisingly lively. I didn’t think that was Richard’s type.

I think he likes to hear something other than the sound of his own thoughts sometimes.

And Jessie... He waited a moment. She didn’t give Martin her number, did she?

I don’t think so, but she’s not above breaking into someone else’s cell phone to get his number.

Probably not. Well, Emily seems sweet. I’m sorry I didn’t get more of a chance to talk to her.

Yes, Emily could be sweet. And Mitch? she said quietly. I’m sorry he was so rude to you.

Alex shook his head. He’s just being a good husband, I think. I’m not sure I’d respect him if he’d acted any differently.

~~~

You suck, Emily said as soon as they walked off of Miranda’s walkway.

It wasn’t my idea to go to that.

And yet, there we were. Did you have to be so...ugh!

Um, guys? Mitch and Emily turned to see Martin waving his hand. Someone want to tell me what the Hell is going on?

It’s a long story, Emily said to Martin. Turning toward Mitch she said, And it doesn’t justify you acting like a jerk to our friend. She pointed her finger into his chest for emphasis.

He grabbed her hand. She tried half-heartedly to pull away. He seems to think he’s above the law, and she’s protecting a sociopath.

Martin made a face. Wait, what? Why is Alex a sociopath?

Emily pursed her lips and rolled her eyes. And now I have to explain.

They found a half-empty Starbucks on Boylston Street. Over caffeinated beverages, Mitch told Martin about how Michael Abbot, Richard’s cousin from the other side of his family and also Alex’s ward, had shoved Emily’s hand down his pants, how Miranda, incredibly, had prevented them from reporting it to the police and how Mitch had gotten a little bit of revenge in a bowl of vegetable dip.

Honestly, I don’t know why you ever need to see Miranda again, Mitch said.

Jesus! It wasn’t her fault, and you know it. She was trying to protect you.

Right—from Alex.

Seriously? Martin finally said. Why didn’t they want you to go to the police?

I don’t know. Emily still hadn’t figured out everything with Miranda, Alex and Michael. Alex is very protective of Michael, no matter what he does.

That’s just...messed up, Martin said. But why did this Michael attack you in the first place? Is he that crazy?

Emily involuntarily tightened her grip on her cup as she remembered taunting Michael about what he’d done to Jessie. As disgusting as she’d thought it was when she first found out, what Joe Welles had done to Zainab made Emily snap when she finally met Michael. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to confront someone known to be dangerous, but she couldn’t honestly say that she wouldn’t do it again, whether Mitch and Miranda were in the room or not.

Yeah, how did that start?

Emily closed her eyes, trying to think of what to say that wouldn’t lead back to Jessie. I—he’s a pig, okay? Miranda—Richard—told me about something he’d done, and I was pissed. I told him that he probably had to get girls—I mean, women—slap happy drunk not just to get some action but to get a rise. She took a deep breath. And that’s when he decided to show me I wasn’t entirely correct.

Mitch put his hand through her shiny hair. I’m sorry, baby.

Emily rubbed her cheek against his hand. It’s okay. And remember, he had trouble standing up by the time you guys rescued him. But please, Miranda was so broken up by it. It wasn’t her choice, okay? Lay off of her.

Mitch nodded after a moment. Fine.

Emily smiled. And you’re going to be very nice to her from now on. Remember, she said, shaking her head teasingly, you wouldn’t be married to me if it wasn’t for her.

Mitch grinned. You’re right. I guess I owe her everything then.

Wow, would you look at the time? Martin said, though there wasn’t a clock in sight. Dinner was great, but I really should be going!

Emily and Mitch giggled conspiratorially. Alright, man. Mitch shook Martin’s hand. Sorry if tonight was weird.

Martin kissed Emily on the cheek. Yeah, well, you guys will have to make it up to me sometime.

Oooh, Emily said, rubbing her hands together. I’m feeling a batch of cupcakes coming on.

Martin’s eyes widened. Cupcakes?!? Oh, wow—can they be lemon?

Lemon it is! They laughed as Martin walked out the door. They spent a few more minutes kissing in the café when Mitch decided it was time to leave. I think we’re still on our honeymoon, Mrs. Graham.

Gonna carry me over the threshold tonight?

Mitch winked. Whatever it takes.

CHAPTER 2

Miranda had a recurring dream. She was sleeping in a bed in a small room when her beautiful, blonde, green-eyed mother walked in and sat on the bed with her. She was wearing a black dress. They would talk for a few minutes and sometimes her mother would stroke her hair or tickle her, but she was always smiling. In the dream Miranda knew her mother was happy to be with her. As Miranda grew, the conversations were different, but they didn’t matter. The dream always ended the same way. Her mother would kiss her goodnight and tell her that she loved her, then turn off the light and close the door.

Sometimes Miranda would wake up crying for her mother, even now, although not as loudly as she used to. Sometimes she would wake up but close her eyes tightly, to try and hold onto the dream. Because Miranda didn’t remember her mother except for that dream, and she couldn’t be sure if her mother’s hair had really been that thick or her eyes that green. The only thing she could be sure of was that her mother had loved her, but that wasn’t something she remembered, it was just something she knew.

Miranda’s first real memory was a rainy day in a tiny garden. There were drops of rain on white honeysuckles. A sad older woman with white hair and green eyes smiled as Miranda put the flower to her mouth and sucked out the nectar. She remembered thinking that it was the best thing ever, and that now everything would be alright. But she didn’t remember what had been wrong in the first place.

When she was a little girl she had often asked Alex about the garden. Alex would smile and say that someday he’d take her there again. But she could tell it made him sad like the old woman, so she stopped asking by the time she was twelve. Now, every once in a while, she remembered the garden and the old woman and made a note that she’d have to ask Alex to at least tell her where it was.

Miranda’s first memory of Alex was from when she was five. She remembered that she was wearing a light beige dress with small pink flowers and a sash that tied in the back. He was sitting on a chair in a living room, across from the old woman, who was sitting on a couch. The couch and the chair had flowers, just like her dress. Those were the things you noticed when you were five.

She couldn’t take her eyes off of him. She thought he was the most wonderful thing she’d ever seen. His hair was darker back then, and he had been wearing a dark red sweater. Burgundy. She had taught herself that color, because it was Alex’s favorite, and it became her favorite on him. She loved the way it made his brown eyes stand out.

She had walked over to the old woman and taken her hand, then looked down at the floor while she talked. She didn’t remember what was said. But she did remember Alex’s voice. Would you like to come and live with me? he’d asked. And then she’d looked up, and she remembered that she’d smiled. He smiled too; he hadn’t been smiling before. Even as a small child, she knew that they were going to love each other forever.

She remembered hugging the old woman goodbye. She didn’t remember because she wanted to. She remembered because she couldn’t forget. It was a forever goodbye, which she knew even though no one had told her. She remembered that she cried, and that she had cried in the car. But Alex had said that she could use the phone at her new house to call the old woman whenever she wanted to, and they stopped to get some ice cream before he took her to her new home, her forever home.

Years later, she’d put it together. Her mother had died. The old woman was her grandmother, and Alex, her mother’s friend, had come to take care of her. But that wasn’t what was important. What was important was that she had loved Alex from that day forward.

Miranda knew that he loved her too, but she knew that it was different because his love always came with distance. For all the times that he would read stories to her, or take her on day trips to the circus or the aquarium or to museums with Richard, Michael and even Jessie, for all the times he’d ask her about her life and truly wanted to know, there were just as many times when he would push her away. There were the boarding schools she used to plot frequent escapes from (which was how she knew how to help Jessie, when that time came), the frequent trips overseas that she couldn’t go on, the obvious hints about the women in his life and, always, the distant look of regret.

Miranda knew that people didn’t always like Alex, but she loved him completely and she knew that he loved her too. It had never been a crush; Miranda had always been very serious about it, and hadn’t become any less so as she got older.

She was one long, never spoken question…What if? Why not? The words may have grown more sophisticated with age and the sentences might have been a little longer, but it was still the same question. He was one to reply in short, sorrowful answers; and with age, it seemed his answers had gotten shorter. But she would not give up, because she knew that the fact that he couldn’t say that he loved her didn’t mean that he didn’t want to.

That was how she knew that Mitch and Emily could be together because, despite everything that happened after they’d met, they loved each other; even if they’d been too stubborn to admit it, nothing, other than their stubbornness and pride, was separating them. Such things were surmountable. So, Miranda knew, it wasn’t anything real that was keeping Alex from her. She just had to convince him of that.

~~~

Miranda knew she didn’t understand all of the obstacles between Alex and herself. Some of them she wasn’t aware of. Others she didn’t care about. Michael Abbot was an obstacle of the latter kind.

Michael, unfortunately, came in a package with Alex. He had actually lived with Alex before Miranda did. She remembered Alex introducing them as she walked in to her new home. He was two or three years older; tall and skinny. She never forgot the way he looked at her with his very dark brown eyes. It had scared her even at the time. It wasn’t a jealous look. It was as if he recognized her, but she'd never seen him before. So you’re Miranda? was all he said.

Michael's parents had died too. His father Stephen had been Alex's best friend. There was a picture of Stephen on Alex's desk in his study, where Alex spent most of his time when he was at home. Stephen, Miranda thought, didn't look very much like his son. He had red hair and he was smiling like he was happy. Michael never smiled that way. Miranda thought that Michael must look like his mother, Annabelle, but Alex had very few pictures of her.

Five years later, Alex thought it might be best for everyone if Michael went to boarding school. Miranda, then ten years old, had been so excited that she would have Alex all to herself. Unfortunately he was home even less frequently and the very next year he decided to send her away to school as well. She told herself that the reason was primarily for the education, while Michael had been sent for everyone’s safety.

Things broke when Michael was around. Some things were trinkets while others were quite valuable. The games Michael liked to play usually ended in tears for Miranda, whether his big cousin Richard was there to watch or not. He liked to call her names, usually the little, childish names kids call each other, although he used a word once that marked the only time Miranda ever saw Alex angry or raise his voice. Apparently it was the only time Michael had seen it too, and he made sure never to see it again.

Richard