Camp Stinks!

By Karen Dawn Blum

Camp Stinks! is an engaging read for kids, ages 9-12, middle school students, teens, and adults.
'I tried to push myself along by wriggling and wiggling. It didn't work. I wouldn't budge. My arms were starting to go numb. I was stuck twenty feet above the ground with no help in sight. If I yelled, I would surely get caught doing something bad at camp.'
Kate Baker is an almost twelve-year-old girl who wants to go to a fancy camp with her friends from back home. Her parents dump her at the same disgusting camp she hated for three summers in a row.
When her best and only friend at camp doesn't show up, Kate tries every way she can think of to get sent home early.
In order to not get caught in her web of lies, Kate may have to trust the one person she hates the most.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Karen Dawn Blum
• Release date: Aug 22, 2013
• ISBN: 9781301550050

Karen Dawn Blum

From Native American folklore to good old-fashioned camping fun, in Camp Stinks!, Karen Dawn Blum delivers an exciting summer camp experience to seasoned campers and to those who have never been to camp.In School Stinks! Karen brings you into West Hills Middle School and the seventh grade experiences of Kate and her friends.When she isn't writing, Karen enjoys cooking, works as a dental hygienist, and owns Space Plan-it, a design consultation business.She lives with her husband and son and their real-live Moose, the family's miniature poodle. Her other two adult children have left the nest but visit frequently.Karen enjoys public speaking and isn't the least bit afraid of being the center of attention. She is currently writing the third book in her Kate Baker and Friends series.Purchase paperback version of Camp Stinks! at http://www.Amazon.com.Visit Karen's website at http://www.KarenBlumBooks.com.

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Copyright

Camp Stinks!

By Karen Dawn Blum

Published by Karen Dawn Blum at Smashwords

Copyright 2013 Karen Dawn Blum-Paulisin and Addison Court Press, LLC

E-book ISBN 13:9781301550050

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

This book is fictional. Names, characters, places, and incidents are fictitious and the product of the author's imagination. Any similarity to actual events, places, or persons, living or dead, is a coincidence.

Summary: Stuck at a camp she hates for the fourth summer in a row, Kate Baker, almost twelve, tries to find a way to handle her worst enemy, The Cabbage, and not get eaten alive by mosquitoes and bears.

[1. Mystery 2. Summer Camp 3. Friendship 4. Michigan-Fiction 5. Native American Folklore-Fiction 6. Horses-Riding 7. Horses-Vaulting 8. Arts and Crafts 9. Middle School-Fiction.]

Dedication

In memory of Allan Epstein, whose bravery inspired me to take the leap and finish writing Camp Stinks!

Choose Your Battles

Have you ever had to do something you absolutely hate? That’s exactly the way I feel, being stuck at camp for the fourth summer in a row. I am almost twelve and should be allowed to make my own summer plans.

When times get tough I get creative. Since the final day of camp last summer, I've been planning this summer's escape from camp. I have thought of many ways to convince my parents to take me home.

My mom and dad seem to always be one step ahead of me. It will be a real fight. I have heard people say, Choose your battles.

The war is on.

Contents

Copyright

Dedication

Choose Your Battles

Last Summer

Chapter 1 Rules are Rules

Chapter 2 Meet the Mukwas

Chapter 3 Don't Cry Over Spilled Glue

Chapter 4 Horse Duty

Chapter 5 Beary Funny

Chapter 6 Kiss the Moose

Chapter 7 Fighting and Feathers

Chapter 8 Itching to Go Fishing

Chapter 9 Brownie Sunday

Chapter 10 Chicken in the Basket

Chapter 11 Daisy Chain Christmas

Chapter 12 Ants in the Pants

Chapter 13 Take a Hike

Chapter 14 Dancing Under the Stars

Chapter 15 Mum's the Word

Chapter 16 Powwow Magic

Acknowledgements

About the Author

Last Summer

Ouch, that really hurts, I yelled.

Kate, to be best friends, we have to be blood sisters, The Pilgrim said.

Okay, stab me again, I said bravely as she took aim with a sharp thorn and jabbed my finger.

Tears welled up in my eyes but I didn't want her to see me cry. She had already stabbed her own finger twice and would have to do it once more if the blood dried up again.

Kate, it's time for us to rub our fingers together and mingle our blood so our friendship will last forever. We put our fingers together and just before the blood started to mix we were startled by a noise. We jumped up quickly to face our greatest enemy.

What do you two dummies think you're doing? asked Jo Ann, The Cabbage, in her usual bossy tone. You can get a disease doing that.

You already have the stinky girl disease, The Pilgrim said holding her nose.

Go away Jo Ann, I said.

I'm telling on you, The Cabbage said as she turned and walked away.

We looked at our fingers. The blood was dried up. It was too late to become blood sisters. Our third summer at camp was over. We would have to wait until next year to seal our friendship.

Chapter 1

Rules are Rules

I hate camp.

Well, Kathryn, it is too late to tell me that now. We’ll be there in about ten minutes. My mom was sitting in the front seat of our car.

Whenever my mom gets upset with me, she calls me by my real name. Otherwise everyone calls me Kate.

This was not the typical Sunday drive. We were on our way to Camp Anishinabe. Again! This was the fourth summer in a row that I had to endure this horrible punishment. What did I do to deserve this? Just because my mom went there, did it mean my little brother and I had to go there, too?

All my friends from school went to Camp Ticonderoga. Their parents didn’t drive them. They went on buses. They stayed in air-conditioned cabins and slept on real beds. They even had real toilets that flushed. It was so unfair.

Mom, did you pack my bug spray and my fly swatter?

Yes, Kate. I packed bug spray and a fly swatter for you.

I don’t need a fly swatter, said Timmy. Flies are cool. I don’t want to kill them.

Cool. Flies were not cool. They spread disease and were just plain annoying. Ugh! My brother was even weirder than I thought.

The first summer I went to camp, I was eight. I arrived totally unprepared. There were millions of scary, hairy, creepy-crawly, flying, buzzing bugs of all sizes and shapes.

The second summer I went to camp, I was ready for the insects. I brought bug spray and a fly swatter. As soon as I got into my tent, I was greeted by a huge black and yellow spider on the floor. It was as big as a hockey puck. I got my fly-swatter out of my duffel and took aim.

Just as I was about to smash that eight legged monster, the girl with the glasses shouted. Stop, you can’t kill that Argipoe Aurantia. She is a gentle creature. She will never hurt you. Besides, she may have babies in her web.

The brainiac, her name being Eugenia Higgenbogger, proceeded to shoo the spider out the door with her Bugs of Michigan Encyclopedia. She never let me kill anything at camp that summer. She took care of insects the humane way, returning them to their habitat.

Eugenia never came back to Camp Anishinabe. I heard she went to the Science Olympiad Camp instead. Needless to say, I have brought my fly swatter with me to camp ever since.

Mom, did you pack my citronella bracelets? You know, I could get the West Nile virus.

Yes, Kate. I packed your citronella bracelets, my mom answered sounding somewhat annoyed.

Mom, did you pack extra citronella bracelets in case mine get wet?

Yes, Kate. I packed extra citronella bracelets in case yours get wet. Your flashlights have new batteries too, said my mom now sounding very annoyed.

Hey, stay on your side of the seat, I yelled at my brother, Timmy.

I am on my side of the seat. You are crowding me.

Kathryn, don’t be mean to Timmy.

When my dad calls me Kathryn, I know I am really in trouble.

Why can’t I go to Camp Ticonderoga with Susan and Emily? It is in Michigan, too. They have so much fun there. Besides, I am almost twelve and I should be able to decide which camp I go to.

My mom replied, Next summer you can go to Camp Ticonderoga. I had no time to change the plans when Grandma Sophie fell and broke her pelvis. She needs me to help her for the rest of the summer.

My grandma lives in Canada. It is so boring, but I would rather go there than to Camp Anishinabe. I would rather go to school than back to that stupid camp.

Mom, did you send money for my camp store account? You know, I could run out of bug spray and get malaria from all the trillions of mosquitoes at camp, I said.

I hoped Dad would change his mind and tell me I didn’t have to go to camp if he thought I could die of malaria. He might get worried about all the dangers at camp and let me come home with him. I could take care of him while my mom was in Canada.

Look, Kathryn, said my dad. You are going to camp. You have enough bug spray for an army. You have enough batteries to power an entire city. Mom sent in enough money for you and Timmy to buy anything you need at the camp store. Stop trying to make us change our minds about camp. You survived there for three summers in a row without getting malaria or West Nile virus and you will survive this time, too. Now stop being so bossy to your mom, and be quiet!

I didn’t say another word for the rest of the way to camp. They would be sorry. They were really going to miss me for the next two weeks. As we drove under the sign for the camp, I knew that there was no convincing my parents to turn around and take me home.

Oh, Bruce, my mom yelled excitedly to my dad, the lake looks so beautiful. This place hasn’t changed since I went here.

My mom didn’t realize that I didn’t like camp because it was exactly the same as when she went there. My fate was sealed. I would have to suffer at that mosquito infested wasteland for fourteen days.

Woo hoot! We are finally here, yelled my brother. Timmy loved camp. I couldn’t understand why he wanted to go there. What did a nine-year-old boy know, anyway?

I don’t want to go to camp, I protested. I had to let them know I was serious.

I loved it here when I was your age, Mom said. "And you will only be here for two weeks.

Two hundred eighty nine hours to be exact, Timmy said.

That sounded like an eternity. My brother thought he was so smart. He won the third grade multiplication contest and could do all kinds of math problems in his head. He was a huge show-off.

My mom and dad were grinning from ear to ear. What could possibly be making them so happy? I think they loved to get rid of us every summer.

You kids will have a great time. Dad will come down next Sunday to take you out to dinner. One week after that Dad will come pick you up and bring you home. I will be home from Grandma's about three weeks after camp, my mom said as her cell phone rang.

Hello, Mum. Bruce is taking me to the airport after we drop the kids at camp. I will see you soon.

Mom, are you going to be home in time for my birthday? She didn't answer me. She held up her finger, as if saying, one minute. She was still on the phone.

My dad had already dumped all our stuff on the ground. They just couldn’t wait to leave. I wondered if I could sneak into the back seat of the car and hide. It seemed like a good idea, but they would just bring me back to camp. When my parents said we needed to get ‘fresh air and sunshine’, they meant it.

Orientation was starting in a few minutes so it was time to say good-bye.

Finally off the phone my mom said, Don’t forget to write to me, she pointed at my duffel bag. I put stamps and Grandma’s address in your binder.

That was another bad thing about Camp Anishinabe. At Camp Ticonderoga, Susan and Emily’s camp, they brought their I-pads. At this Neanderthal camp, there was no Wi-Fi. We had to send out postcards and letters via snail mail. What did I do to deserve this?

Please, Mom. Let me come with you. I won’t say I'm bored at Grandma’s.

Timmy had already run off to see his friends from last summer.

Kathryn, you will have a great time at camp. I love you. Give me a kiss.

I was not kissing anyone. I picked up my duffel bags and wheeled off toward the main lodge. Let them suffer. They’d remember this next year and let me go to a real camp.

I put my duffel bags in a pile with all the others. I sat down at one of the picnic tables in the big, rustic cabin. Other kids were already seated. Camp was about to start and it looked like I was stuck there.

Some kids went to Camp Anishinabe for four to eight weeks. They only had to listen to the rules when they first got there. They should let kids who came every summer skip the rules, too.

After hearing this stuff for three years in a row, I knew it by heart. Sharon Forrester, the camp director, always tells us the camp rules. Her husband, Tom, sits next to her and acts like he is interested. How could he possibly care after hearing it four times each summer, for hundreds of summers?

Remember campers, Rule Number One is the Cardinal Rule, ‘Do unto others as you wish they would do unto you,’ Sharon said.

Cardinal Rule? Isn’t a Cardinal a bird? Sometimes adults just try to show off.

Rule Number Two. Be on time to all activities. It is important to keep on a schedule, Sharon pointed to a calendar.

What? This was just like sixth grade. No wonder camp stinks, it is just like school.

Sharon went on, Rule Number Three. The dress code is posted on the bulletin board. If you don’t wear proper footwear, you will be excluded from that activity. We sent you a list of what to pack according to what you signed up for. You should be all set.

I was sure I had proper shoes for all the activities. My mom asked me what I wanted to do at camp. I told her I didn’t want to go to camp. You surprise me, I said. My mom had OCD when it came to packing, so I knew everything would be in my duffel.

"Rule Number Four. There will be absolutely no food in the tents. We have a big problem with ants, and at times, bears wander through the campsite looking for food. We must be very cautious," said Sharon.

The food was so lousy and gross at camp. I could barely eat it. I always got hungry. It was not fair that we couldn’t have food in the tents. After my mom packed everything, I snuck a few of my favorite candy bars in the bottom of my sleeping bag and rolled it up so she wouldn’t notice. No one would ever find my candy stash, even the bears.

"Rule Number Five. You will develop an understanding and respect for other cultures. Your fellow campers come from all walks of life. Accept one another’s differences and embrace your similarities.

At Camp Anishinabe, we will teach you all about the proud history of the Northern Michigan tribes through their language, dance and crafts," Sharon finished with excitement.

I forgot to mention that this camp is really big on Native Americans. That is how I came up with a great nickname for my best, and only, friend at camp. Her name is Stacey Milgrim. I call her The Pilgrim. She cracked up when I said it the first time.

I looked around the main lodge again. I couldn’t believe The Pilgrim was late again. Last year she was late and I almost passed out thinking she wasn’t coming. This place would be impossible without her.

As I was smiling at the thought of all the fun we would have when The Pilgrim got there, I heard my name.

"Kate, you have attended