The Unforgettable Journey

By Ian MacDonald

John Cannon was a wreck when he lost his wife, Pam, to breast cancer. He was an ex-special forces officer, a man of action and purpose, but Pam's unexpected death had changed him. His friends saw it and set about getting him back on track. They knew he had always wanted to travel across Canada by train and so they now encouraged him to take that trip he so wanted to take. The people he met on that train and the stories they shared with him would be forever imprinted in his brain. They were filled with hope, love, joy and compassion and ignited in John his sense of purpose once more. He may have lost Pam in person, but certainly not in spirit He felt her presence daily and just knew she was looking down on him like a guardian angel. He could feel her guiding him and he just knew she wanted him to move on and be happy. He was certainly not looking for romance when he boarded that train, but he did meet a girl because of it. Over time he became enamored of her and felt that Pam would approve of her. He later came to believe, that not only did she approve of her she had orchestrated the whole thing right from the start. She had been his angel and she wanted nothing less for John now when she could no longer be there for him. That's why she chose her for him as her replacement angel..

• Language: English
• Publisher: Ian MacDonald
• Release date: Jul 12, 2013
• ISBN: 9781301585083

Ian MacDonald

The author was born and educated in England and served in the British armed forces and briefly as an officer in the British Prison Service. He subsequently became a financial adviser and retired as an executive in a financial planning firm. He took up writing as a hobby upon retirement and he now lives in Ontario with his wife. His writing has a military or law enforcement theme to it as his interests lie in that field.

Book preview

The Unforgettable Journey

BY

Ian Macdonald

Copyright 2013 Smashwords Edition

***

Smashwords Edition License Notes

Thank you for downloading this e-Book. You are welcome to share to share it with your friends. This book may be reproduced, copied and distributed for non- commercial purposes, provided the book remains in its complete original form. If you enjoyed this book, please return to Smashwords.com to discover other works by this author. Thank you for your support

Acknowledgements

I would like to express my sincere appreciation to my friend Ray Armstrong for his continued assistance, encouragement and support regarding this book and my other literary endeavours. His suggestions, editing abilities and overall help were invaluable. Thank you my friend.

Cover Designer:

Rita Toews

Cover Picture"

Courtesy of VIA Rail Canada Inc.

Chapter One

***

It was a most beautiful morning, the sun was just climbing up in the almost cloudless sky and the birds were chirping away merrily. As he stood on the balcony outside his bedroom, John’s mind drifted wistfully back a few years. He had indeed come a long way from his covert military career, his devastating loss when his first wife had been taken from him suddenly, and all the dramatic events since. His mind then reflected upon that fateful cross country train journey that Brian had persuaded him to take. That trip had changed John Canon’s life. It came at a time when he was at the lowest point in his life and it had transformed him. The sorrow and despair he had been feeling now morphed into optimism and hope. He took in the sweet smells of the morning air as he was idly gazing at the Toronto skyline in the distance. He suddenly realized that Pam would be so happy for him now if she were looking down upon him from heaven. He was a happy and contented man now – something he never thought he would achieve again after Pam’s death. Yes, John, you are a lucky man and things have worked out for you despite your earlier misfortune he thought to himself.

He and Pam had not been married very long and they were blissfully happy together. The future was filled with untold promise and delights as they planned their lives together. Then out of the blue came that fateful day when Pam discovered a lump in her breast. She had poked and prodded herself in disbelief and then called John to examine her to see if he drew the same conclusion. He did, there was definitely a lump there of some kind and it needed to be looked into. Pam made an appointment with her doctor and he in turn arranged a consultation with an oncologist. Once Pam was diagnosed all their collective efforts went into beating this dreaded disease. John never considered for one minute that they would not overcome this. Pam was a fighter and she was determined to beat this pernicious disease, after all she was young and fit and in good health generally. She had psyched herself up and was ready for the battle ahead. The oncologist had suggested a lump-ectomy rather than a mastectomy and everything seemed to have gone very well with the surgery. The surgeon was quite confident that he had removed the lump itself and the surrounding tissue and he was quite positive in his prognosis. He had of course given the standard caveat that all surgeons do in such cases. He had said that there was always a slight chance of a recurrence, but he felt that the chances of that were minimal. Both John and Pam were encouraged by that news and they thought that they had dodged a bullet on this one. As John was now painfully aware, that prognosis, however well intentioned, was overly optimistic. Everybody had been devastated by the news that the cancer had returned and even more so by its accelerated and aggressive progression. John barely had time to notify everyone that Pam was ill before he was making the dreaded call to the Funeral Home.

The family and friends had all gathered around and offered their support; it’s what families do at times like this. Despite their well meaning gestures, John simply could not be comforted. He was totally inconsolable and consumed by his grief. The love of his life had just been ripped away from him as far as he was concerned. He wanted to crawl into a hole and hibernate – but his best friend, Brian, wouldn’t let him. He saw what was happening to John and he knew that he had to do something to ease his friend’s pain. It had been six months since Pam had died, but to John it seemed like yesterday. Brian could clearly see that John was suffering her loss each and every day. He was surrounded by Pam’s presence everywhere he went in the house, and while it was comforting in one respect, it was perpetuating his grief in another.

John had been a Special Forces soldier when he first met Pam. He had gone to visit a wounded friend who was in a local hospital. While it had not exactly been a Love at first sight situation, it came quite close. The initial attraction had been there, but both parties were somewhat reserved and sort of playing things cool. Pam appeared to be aloof and distant while John seemed to have an air of indifference about him. They would exchange the odd glance and occasional smile, but other than that one would assume that they were unaware of each others existence. One day as John was entering the ward to see his friend Paul, Pam was coming out. They collided, and Pam dropped the towels and sheets that she was carrying. John bent down with her to help pick them up and offered his apologies. A brief dialogue took place and their attitude towards each other changed. Pam went about her duties and John went in to visit Paul. Once inside he grilled Paul on the nurse and asked what she was like. Later that day he made a point of being there when she came off duty and he asked her out. They were married within the year. Paul was one of the ushers at their wedding and his brother Brian had been the best man. Their life had been idyllic during that time, filled with fun and laughter, and then in a flash it was all gone.

All of this seemed so long ago now. It was way back in the distant mists of time somewhere and yet in reality it was quite recent, only a few months ago in fact. John was simply not functioning properly at all. His emotions were all over the map. He was still talking to Pam at home when he was on his own. He simply refused to accept that Pam had gone – or so it would appear. John gained comfort from these ghostly chats even though they were one sided. The denial phase of his grief was in full swing. He would break down and cry occasionally and at other times he would fly into a rage for no good reason and smash dishes or throw whatever was close at hand. Yes! It was safe to say that John was still hurting and his friends knew it. Actually being able to help him through this ordeal was another matter altogether, but they had to try. They knew that the path he was on would lead to self destruction eventually and they wanted their friend back the way he used to be. With that in mind they all got together to see if they could find a way to get John back on track. They didn’t want him to forget Pam – just get things a little more into perspective so that he could begin to heal and eventually move on with his life. It fell to Brian to pay John a visit and try to sell him on their collective and remedial therapeutic idea.

John, you need to get away for a while – somewhere different, a place that you have no memories of and no ties to the past. A place where you can gather your strength and perhaps see the world in a different light. At home here with family and friends you will forever be reminded of your loss. A strange place with new people around you just might be the answer. Pam was a lovely girl, John; she worshiped you and loved you to pieces. She would not want you to suffer like this and if she is looking down on you right now she will have tears in her eyes seeing how much pain you are in. Ask yourself this: if the roles had been reversed what would you have wished for Pam? You too are a caring and compassionate man, how would you feel knowing that Pam was suffering like you are now?

John thought for a few moments, carefully weighing his response to Brian’s question.

I would want to ease her pain as much as I could, Brian.

Of course you would, John, that’s who you are. Nobody wants to see a loved one suffering the way that you are right now. Pam most certainly wouldn’t want that for you. That’s why I think a brief spell away from all your familiar surroundings just might be cathartic for you right now and I’m sure Pam would approve. It won’t heal you – only time can do that – but it just might deaden the pain. As I recall, you always said that you wanted to take a train trip across the country, why not take it now? I remember you saying to me right after you met Pam that that trip would have to be put on the back burner for a while. Well now would be the ideal time to take it in my opinion. It could be just what you need and you will certainly see lots of new places and sights that you will not find around here.

I don’t know, Brian, I’m not too good on my own at the best of times and right now I feel even more isolated.

You know, John, Brian mused, it’s been my experience that you won’t be lonely for long on those trains. There is always someone that will start up a conversation with you. In addition, you can also stagger your trip; you know, stop off in different places for a few days and then catch the next train and continue on. You can meet all kinds of people on them, some going short distances, others all the way to the coast. I met some very interesting people on the trains when I was in college, John. They come from all walks of life and they are all there for a reason. If you engage in a conversation with them they may tell you that reason and right about now I think that is just what you need. I heard some very interesting stories on those trains, John.

Well I don’t want to burden them with my problems, Brian. They will no doubt have their own to deal with.

Of course they have, John, we all do. However, in listening to someone else’s troubles, it takes our minds off our own sometimes, and you could use that right now, John. Oh! and by the way, not everyone on the train will be weighed down by misery and depression you know. I met a lot of happy people on my travels and we shared many laughs together. They were going home for family reunions, attending weddings and going on leave from the forces, they were really happy people. If you meet happy people they will boost your spirits; if on the other hand you meet sad people, then perhaps you can boost theirs. Give it some thought anyway, John, if nothing else it will allow you to take the train ride that you always wanted to go on. You may never get the chance to do it again – so take it now while the opportunity is right here.

John went home that night and thought long and hard on what Brian had said. It made a lot of sense. Right now he was waking up in the morning to an empty house surrounded by Pam’s treasures. Her influence was everywhere and he hadn’t changed a thing – nor did he want to. Their home was now a shrine to her memory. He gained great comfort from having her things around. One day he knew he would have to go through them and deal with that issue – but not just yet. Yes! Brian’s idea of a cross country train ride might just be the answer. He certainly wouldn’t be reduced to tears every morning looking at all of Pam’s things – that would be a positive start at least. John had no idea of just how life changing this journey would turn out to be and the epiphany he was about to experience. The people he was about to meet and the stories they would disclose to him he would remember forever.

There are no short cuts to the grieving process and everyone has to go through the five stages, only time can dull the pain – the timing however may be variable depending on the individual. Psychologically John was aware of that process, but when you are the one involved, it just sort of seems like an abstract concept and that was how he was feeling. However he resolved to go ahead with this trip as he felt Pam would have wished him to fulfill that long time desire of his. The next question was which train trip to take? As John lived in Toronto he could go in two directions, well three actually, but travelling up north didn’t really appeal to him. He could go east to Halifax and the Atlantic coast via Montreal, or he could go west to Vancouver and the Pacific coast via Edmonton. Faced with this decision he went on to his computer and checked out which would be the longest and cover the most. In the end he chose Vancouver. He ordered his tickets on line and he was all set. In fact John now found that he was looking forward to this trip, Brian had been right. Booking this train ride had given him something to look forward to and he now began to realize just what that meant to him.

Well, Brian, I’ve booked my seat.

Good for you John, when do you leave?

We roll out of Union Station at 9:00am sharp on Friday.

Keep me posted John, I’m sure you won’t regret this trip; I never did when I used to ride the trains. The scenery is just fantastic out west, the prairies are pretty flat and less interesting, but beyond them it is magical. Feel free to call me on your cell phone if you need anything.

John laughed at that.

What could you do from there if I did?

Well if you left a tap running, or a light on, or you forgot to lock a door or window – I could help out then.

Yeah, I guess, I hadn’t thought of that, Brian.

Well now that I’ve reminded you, you can go around and make sure that you don’t do those things.

John now spent the rest of the day packing, cancelling newspapers and setting the timers on his lights. Selecting his clothes for the trip was the hardest part; Pam usually did all that for him. Still he managed it all and he was now ready to set off on this cross country odyssey.

He arose bright and early on the Friday morning and set off for the station. He arrived there at 8:30am and decided to have a coffee in the café first before boarding the train. One or two people are sitting in there also having coffees or reading the morning paper and the commuters are rushing past outside on their way to work. As he watched the world going by outside that window he realized just how frenetic a pace people are living by these days. They seemed to be rushing by like ants on a mission and none of them have a second to spare to talk to anyone else. There were business men and women, clerical workers, tradesmen, all of them hell bent on getting wherever they were going as quickly as possible. Nobody had the time of day for anyone else – this was modern life in the big city. There were no smiles to be seen anywhere. Everyone wore a determined expression on their face and they had a definite purpose in their step as they strode by, totally unaware of his or anyone else’s existence. Even those people in the cafeteria were either engrossed in a newspaper or staring into space oblivious of the world around them. All of them lost in the complexities of their lives and whatever turmoil was uppermost in their minds presently. It was an absent minded observation, but John had registered it all the same. He looked around the room and idly wondered just who, if anybody, would be taking the same train as he was. It was just idle curiosity really as that train would have numerous carriages and lots of passengers in each one of them. He glanced at his watch, it is now 8:45 am and time for him to board and take his seat. The carriage is already pretty full and he stowed his suitcase and sat down. He had requested a window seat so that he could enjoy the scenic beauty later on during the trip, seeing the suburbs of Toronto when the train pulled out of Union Station held somewhat less appeal. There was a choice of two sleeper options, the deluxe private suite or the semi-private berth. John had chosen the semi-private option. While price was not really a consideration anymore, isolation was and this trip was all about meeting and talking to people. Having a private suite would tend to defeat the object and besides, Brian would have been most upset. That fact alone would have deterred John from making that decision. He is idly glancing around at his fellow passengers when he feels a jolt. The train is now on the move. He can hear the distinctive roar of the diesel locomotive as it picks up momentum and slowly pulls the train out of the station and begins its odyssey to the West Coast and ultimately Vancouver. John didn’t know it yet, but this would turn out to be one memorable journey – one that he would never ever forget.

Chapter Two

***

A few miles to the east of Toronto in the town of Bellville an elderly man has been feverishly packing his suitcase too. It is Thursday now and tomorrow he will be taking the same train as John and travelling up to Northern Ontario. He had received news that his brother was now living up in Thunder Bay. They had both come to Canada during the war from England. They had been orphaned by the bombing and placed in an orphanage home. As a result, they were subsequently sent off to Canada as it was deemed to be safer there than in war ravaged Britain. The two brothers had packed what little clothing they had and the odd toy or stuffed animal that they had taken into the air raid shelter that fateful night. They didn’t have much in the way of clothes, some of it they were told they would grow into later. Those suitcases held everything they had in the world – except for each other that is. They were then sent by train to Liverpool and taken aboard the SS Maghull which was due to sail across the Atlantic Ocean bound for Halifax, Nova Scotia. The two young boys had no idea what they were headed for, or whether they would ever return to England. They had a chaperone, a Mrs. Pinkerton who was to accompany them and several more children on their voyage across the Atlantic. The boys had never seen a big ship before and to them this one looked huge. In a way it was a sort of adventure for them – at least that was what the orphanage had tried to sell them on. The two boys watched from the ship’s rail as they steamed away from Liverpool, but once past the Mersey Bar none of the children were allowed on deck, it was considered too dangerous for them.

That voyage had been particularly dramatic. The Atlantic Ocean can be rather inhospitable at times and it certainly was on this voyage. The seas were rough, whipped up by howling winds that made the bitter cold seem even worse. The white tops could be clearly seen out of the portholes, but nobody ventured out on deck for a clearer view. It was far too cold for that, however the wind did die down later into the voyage and this calmed down the ocean a little. It was not exactly a mill pond but the ship was no longer pitching and tossing like it had been earlier and fewer people were getting sea sick as a result. Some of the passengers now ventured out on deck, but they were all well wrapped up. The sun had come out now, but even so, it was not exactly balmy, although it had lifted up everyone’s spirits. After being cooped up below decks and tossed around by the ship’s rolling this was a most welcome change. They had dodged the German U-boats all the way across the Atlantic and they were almost safe when suddenly they were struck by a torpedo. The boys heard this tremendous explosion and then pandemonium broke out. Mrs. Pinkerton told all of the children to get their cases and get up on the deck to the lifeboats. She was quite cool and self assured and this reassured the children. The two brothers Frank and Billy grabbed their little cases and headed up on deck to look for the lifeboats. They never saw Mrs. Pinkerton again. There was bedlam and panic everywhere as everyone was fighting to get on one of the boats. There were enough boats for all, the Titanic disaster had seen to that, but the panic was everywhere. To make matters worse the ship directly astern of them was torpedoed next and it was almost blown out of the water – it sank very quickly. This did nothing to sooth the nerves of the passengers on Billy’s boat and merely increased the anxiety levels to little short of hysteria. Children were screaming and running around aimlessly, there were very few adults to supervise them and those that were there were more concerned about their own survival. They left the children’s welfare to the ship’s officers and crew. The ship’s crew did an admirable job of lowering the lifeboats and loading them and it was all done in an orderly fashion – women and children first. At the end of the day everyone secured a berth in a lifeboat, but in all that confusion Billy and Frank became separated. They had held each others hands for as long as they possibly could so as not to get lost, but once they let go they were simply swept away by the tide of survival obsessed passengers. The convoy could not stop when U-boats were present and the naval destroyers were busy trying to find them and sink them before they could cause even more mayhem. The convoy lost three of the ships that day and it left the survivors in a rather somber mood. Many of them had lost someone close to them, be it family, friend or fellow crew member. Once their personal survival had been secured –then the grief would be felt. They were all out on the ocean now in a cold and bitter wind and bobbing up and down like corks. Each of them could now reflect on what they had lost as their ship finally sank beneath the waves taking with it all they had in the world in some cases. They clung to each other for warmth, stranger hugging stranger in a desperate bid to stay alive and defy the howling wind and spray that engulfed them all.

The lifeboats stayed relatively close together, but one or two had drifted away during the night, Frank was on one of them. The following morning at sunrise when Billy awoke, he could no longer see any sign of his brother’s lifeboat. A sea mist had formed during the night and he could see very little now. He had seen Frank being put on the lifeboat and then it rowed away from the sinking ship to join the others. Billy was only seven years old and now it seemed he had not only lost his parents but his older brother too. Fellow passengers and crew members assured him that Frank would be picked up and they would be reunited soon. Around mid-morning they are picked up by a Canadian minesweeper returning to Halifax. They docked there late in the afternoon and all the orphaned children were gathered together. Billy tried to tell them that he had a brother who had not arrived yet, but his pleas fell on deaf ears. Everything was chaotic on the docks due to the war effort. Ships were being loaded and convoys were being formed and the docks were simply humming with activity like bees in a hive. Billy was jostled from pillar to post and finally found himself on a train to Smith’s Falls, Ontario along with several other children. That was seventy years ago now, but he had never given up his search for his brother. Tomorrow he would be catching a train in Toronto that would reunite him with Frank once more.

***

Frank had arrived in Halifax one day later than Billy. He had been shipwrecked twice. The first boat that had picked them up was also torpedoed and once again he was forced into the lifeboat. This time however they gained some comfort from the fact that the destroyer escort did in fact sink the U-boat with its depth charges. Frank was watching from his lifeboat as the huge plumes of water rose up from the ocean as the charges exploded. Then on one of them, up came masses of oil and wreckage and several bodies. That boat was now at the bottom of the Atlantic. All the rescued passengers and crew cheered wildly when they saw that the U-boat had been sunk. It would no longer be sinking any other ships – although it had plenty of brothers and sisters who would continue to plague the North Atlantic and cost the lives of many brave souls. They were all lining the deck waving like crazy at the destroyer in a gesture of thanks and admiration for their efforts.

The destroyer then came back and picked them up and took them into Halifax. Upon his arrival Frank tried desperately to find Billy. He went around asking any official he saw if they knew anything or had seen his brother the day before. Nobody had and they could offer no help. There were simply too many orphans coming through and documentation was chaotic at best. Some families even changed the names of the orphans to correspond with their own – a sort of adoption in fact. It was a nightmare trying to reconcile who went where and with whom. Frank went frantic looking for young Billy – but he was lost forever. No record of him could be found and Frank didn’t know for sure that Billy had actually landed in Halifax; he could have been lost at sea. For nine year old Frank this was a really devastating blow, Billy was all he had in the world and now even he had been taken away from him. All of that happened seventy years ago – but it was still fresh in Frank’s mind. He had endured all manner of hardships during his life, and now, finally, he had retired. He was a grandfather now and his grandson was currently running the farm. Frank still lived in the old farmhouse that he and Amy had bought fifty years ago and raised their boys in, but he no longer ran the farm. It’s time for them to earn their keep he joked. I’m going to sit back now and let them take care of me for a change.

It was Amy who took the phone call from Billy and she was too choked up to speak when she realized who he was. Tears were running down her face as she handed the phone to Frank, her hand trembling. Words failed her right then and Amy was seldom lost for words as her family well knew.

Frank just looked at her with that quizzical look of his and wondered what the hell had gotten her so upset. Seconds later they were both sobbing in each others arms. Their son Danny then picked up the phone and tried to carry on a conversation with his Uncle Billy who was also choked up and in tears. Between the long pauses he managed to figure out that his uncle would be