Orange & More Awphul Poetry

By Kristopher Ivie

Awphul Poetry is an abbreviation for Articulation With the PHonetic Use of Language. It doesn't fit in with most modern poetry and attempts to reinvent the use of verse. The book is titled Orange because the color orange often symbolizes controversy. Not only does the color invoke varying emotions but it has haunted many poets who have ever dreamed of rhyming the word. There are 50 poems (+ some extras) in this book as well as information on Awphul poetry. Some of the poems in this book cover social issues that are often surrounded by controversy. Those who are easily offended may find content that they disagree with in this book.

The number of poems in this book they are broken into sections for the NCX table of content navigation. To navigate to individual poems there is a TOC (table of contents) at the beginning of the book with links to each poem.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Kristopher Ivie
• Release date: Jun 29, 2013
• ISBN: 9781301641482

Kristopher Ivie

Awphul poetry is the epitome of bad poetry. It often has meter, it often has rhyme, and it usually isn’t too abstract; it is almost everything that modern poets truly hate. The lines and stanzas almost never end mid-sentence, or with a preposition or conjugation. At times it can be musical or humorous which will make most poetry lovers cringe with an intense, searing disgust. It’s like washing down a mouthful of needles with a glass of vinegar, only less stimulating / inspiring. At least something truly awful will leave an impression, but awphul poetry is apparently so incredibly bad that it simply kills off your brain cells leaving no memory of the traumatic experience. So one must wonder why anyone would bother to consume this toxic mental concoction? One must also wonder why anyone would continue to write such unwanted garbage knowing full well that almost no one will ever want to read it? Then again, poetry has always been a way of sharing one’s pain with the world. If you’re going to suffer through a book of poetry, why not try something awphul?

Book preview

1) Orange

The AWPHUL History of Poetry

_~_~_AWPHUL Sonnets_~_~_

2) Who I Will Be

3) Roses

4) The Nature of Hunters

5) The Unscientific Method

6) 600 Times Sweeter

7) Road Work

8) Failure to Print

The Evolution of AWPHUL

_~_~_Poems Before AWPHUL Existed_~_~_

9) Life in One Day

10) Atmosphere

11) Words to be Forgotten

12) The Traveler

13) The Owl

14) The War of the Pencils

15) Waiting

16) Goodbye My Angel

How to Write AWPHUL Poetry (The Rules of AWPHUL)

_~_~_AWPHUL Poems About Writing & The World_~_~_

17) Contemporary

18) Struggling Author

19) Our Pet Blogs

20) Muse

21) Don’t Inhale

22) What the World Could Be

23) Soybeans

24) Hunters of Autumn

An AWPHUL Lot of Controversy

_~_~_AWPHUL Poems About Business, Popular Culture, & Politics_~_~_

25) Getting Fired

26) The Way Business is Done

27) Popular Culture

28) Politics as Usual

29) Market Street

30) The Casual Spy

31) Taxed to Death

32) In the Blood

33) Exception to the Rules

34) Through the Eyes of Power

Beyond AWPHUL and Into AWSIM

_~_~_AWPHUL AWSIM Poems_~_~_

35) The Stone of Sorrows

36) Conservation is Conservative

37) The Devil’s Number

38) Everything Changes

39) Healing

40) Can’t Stop Repeating Myself

41) Inspired by Pi

An AWPHUL Lot of FUN

_~_~_AWPHUL fun poems_~_~_

42) What’s Up Bro

43) Telemarketing

44) Dressing for Blue Cheese and Yams

45) Caffeine Addiction

46) Frog Bites

47) How to Turn Her On

48) Love is the Pain of a Goddess

49) Flaming Marshmallows

50) Call Me Matey

Bonus Poems

Author’s Notes

About the Book:

This book is a compilation of poems dealing with a wide range subjects. Some of the poems were written back in the 90’s. The poem Orange is my tribute to all poets who have ever struggled to find a rhyme. Orange is also a provocative color that doesn’t have an agreed upon meaning. That is perfect for the theme of this book. At times it can represent the passion and fire of opinion and at other times it can simply represent creativity. Orange is a polarizing color and can have opposite meanings to different people. Some of the poems in this book are meant to spark debate over controversial issues. Some go deeply into opinion and social commentary and there are others that are simply pleasant diversions.

Just like anyone else I have my own beliefs and opinions. Avoiding the controversial issues of today would simply make my work less relevant. I take on controversial subjects in my own unique way. I stay true to my Christian faith and I accept that some may be offended by my beliefs (perhaps even some Christians). A few poems may be slightly antagonistic or sarcastic, but I do attempt to do so in a constructive way. It is quite likely that some people will interpret things differently than what is intended and I welcome that even if it leaves a negative impression. A poem is simply a mirror for the reader to reflect upon. Some will reflect upon the thought or argument and others will reflect upon their own personal bias. I don’t expect people to agree with my opinions, but I don’t expect them to define them for me. That is one reason why I include Author’s Notes on each poem. It’s not to define what the poem states, but simply to allow the reader an understanding of where I stand or why I wrote the poem.

Due to the large number of hyperlinks for each poem this ebook has been formatted so that only the start of each section will show up in the NCX table of contents in epub format. Use the TOC section at the beginning of this book to navigate to each individual poem.

Other Works by Kristopher Ivie:

The Bigger Picture (poetry)

Words to Paint 1000 Pictures (poetry)

On The Verge of Live, Love, and Lyrics (poetry)

Texting Death (short fiction)

Introduction to AWPHUL Poetry (poetry)

Going Viral is Contagious (short fiction)

Find merchandise at the official AWPHUL Poetic Design store on Zazzle.

Visit the author’s Facebook page and Goodreads Blog to learn more.

Orange

A writer must do something new

For a writer has so much to prove

And so for me a challenge formed

I must do my best to rhyme with orange

Now near rhyme has limited supply

I need to find a perfect rhyme

So that a new theme can be forged

Is there no word that rhymes with orange?

Pronunciation comes unhinged

When it’s said wrong I have to cringe

It’s a short A, it’s spelled that way

So make the I just go away

The dictionary provides a clue

More than zero, less than a few

Only one word for my reward

And only one word rhymes with orange

Who wants to write about a sporange

Sporangia is the proper form

What words can we lavishly adorn

On this poor thing that rhymes with orange

Will my talents be sojourned

To make up words to rhyme with orange

Could this word now be my scourge

Am I forced to rhyme orange with florange

No I refuse to lose this war

To find something to rhyme with orange

I will succeed, they’ll sound the horns

I’ll be so proud, my head engorged

Now it is strange, doesn’t rhyme with range

But I think that’s all about to change

Now if I fail I’ll move to Blorenge

I have to find a rhyme with orange

Now you might say that none exists

And that maybe I should just quit

But I will not lose to citrus

I will make this word my mistress

With Urban slang hold no contempt

I will refuse to drink the gornge

I will make every attempt

To find the perfect rhyme for orange

If no word exists I must explore

To make up one not used before

Perhaps something like stubborange

When you’re obsessed with rhyming orange

(Author’s Notes 1)

(Table of Contents)

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The AWPHUL History of Poetry

Poetry originated as a spoken form and told a story. By creating a rhythmical flow the