Heaven Sent

By Patricia Hayden

If there is an afterlife, there must be a before life. Heaven Sent is about the journey from Heaven to Earth and back to Heaven and what happens in those processes.
Heaven Sent is written in three parts.
Part One – is where the main character is living her last three days on earth and what happens during the process. There are final meetings with her family on earth and also ones with her deceased family during dream state. These meetings are assisting the main character to help her to prepare for departing her earthly life. She experiences exhilaration at going home to Heaven and poignancy at leaving her family.
Part Two – begins her return to Heaven. She is then given her name that she took on earth with her. Firstly she has to start to make sense of the confusion. During part two we go on Patricia’s journey, where the life was pre-planned before leaving for her earth journey. Five traumatic aspects of her life have been illustrated to show the impact on her and how she took these behaviours into her personality and adulthood patterns.
Patricia works with her teacher Dolphin and Archangel Michael and deceased family members. We will also meet her soul family and soul mate. All those involved volunteered to help her during her journey on earth and whether they were reflecting negative or positive reflections for her. This process was also reciprocated by Patricia.
Part Three – shows how we can look at our life in two ways. Firstly; from an earthly point of view where it can be quite fixed, then there are the heavenly aspects where we can see life experiences in a different way. Finally there are the magical heavenly adventures interwoven throughout the pre-life planning and the healing of all involved.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Patricia Hayden
• Release date: May 12, 2013
• ISBN: 9781301623457

Book preview

Part one

Chapter one - The transition

She undressed slowly, removing her clothes one by one and put on her nightwear. She hung up some of the clothes and put some of them in the wash basket.

She went over to the wall heater and turned it off, whereupon she climbed into bed and turned on her favourite music; turning off the light she got comfy and snugged up under the duvet.

Her mind drifted half listening to the music and half lost in thought.

She had begun to feel more tired these last few days and had had a few dizzy spells she wondered if her time on earth was nearing an end. Finally after some more rumination she drifted off into a sleep.

Suddenly she somersaulted over, her stomach in knots as the grip of fear increased: over and over she tumbled; she couldn’t make sense of it in her brain and her senses were totally confused. Everywhere, there was a grey mist and then a link came swiftly into her mind.

She was free falling like when she jumped out of the plane in San Diego in 2001, when she was 52, she’d somersaulted over three times, falling at a speed of 7,000 feet in one minute and twenty seconds, wind rushing up to her face so that she found it hard to breath. She covered her mouth to try and catch her breath. Because she hadn’t done this before and she didn’t know when she would catch her next breath.

Then the instructor Andy gave his hand signal and she went to pull the ripcord. The parachute jolted both her and her instructor back up and then all of a sudden there was silence and peace. Andy reassured her and said to rest her feet on the top of his feet, she was awed at the view and the sensation, the peace and a sense of serenity came over her.

She knew that the experience of using a parachute was just like she had imagined when she had written a short story when she was 19. It was about a soldier parachuting down from a plane and he ended up getting very badly injured and died leaving his body, he was met by spiritual beings who gave him the option of staying in Heaven or returning back to earth and his life. She had described the parachuting exactly as she had experienced it in San Diego. It was so amazing. The free fall had really frightened her, but this; this was just magic.

She was enjoying the feeling again when a thought crashed into her brain. ‘Oh my God in Heaven where was the parachute!’ She didn’t remember jumping out of an aeroplane. She was panicking and terrified at what was going on right now.

She began to experience a new sensation where she began to feel a little calmer even though she was still in the grey mist and still falling. The mist reminded her of the summer in Tenby when her children; Laura and David were 10 and 8 years old. They had been on the beach and it was about 90 degrees, suddenly a mist rolled in off the sea and the sea and the rocks disappeared inside its illusion. It was like fog but a softer colour, like a soft pearl grey.

She was falling with less speed now and for a few seconds she was calmer, then her mind went into gear. ‘Oh God what am I going to do? Her heart started pounding and she could feel the blood rushing through her ears, she felt certain they were going to explode.

Maybe she was nearly down to the ground, maybe she was about to die and no one could hear her. Panic overwhelmed her. She tried to shout and get someone’s attention; she couldn’t see anybody. ‘Oh God’ she thought, ‘help me’. Her heart was pounding even faster in her body that it felt like it was going to jump out of her body; the pounding was much louder now in her ears; she thought they were really going explode. Then she felt herself slowing down, she blew out in relief.

The thought of ‘Oh God’ set off a train of thought. It was funny how people who didn’t believe in God when in real difficulty always shouted ‘Oh my God’ or ‘Oh God’. She laughed to herself but this wasn’t funny.

She sensed herself slowing down even more and it felt like she was just floating. It was so confusing because she couldn’t link it with anything and she was desperately trying to understand of it all, it was like a door had closed in her mind and she couldn’t link things together.

‘Perhaps I’m having a dream, it’s a nightmare and I’m still asleep’.

She didn’t feel asleep, she had had only two dreams like this before in her life. She didn’t want to think about them as they were like night terrors.

Gently, almost like a feather she felt hands underneath her body, supporting her, calming her and softly she heard whispers, so faint she thought she was imaging them, she began to see faces in the mist, they started off as ghostly shapes and then as they came nearer, they began to take shape and form. She saw her Dad, how handsome he looked, his face was so kind and loving, he glowed and smiled at her, she felt very comforted and loved. Around him was a rainbow of colours which swirled and twisted gently around him. Then he began to fade still smiling at her. She had a thought in her head, ‘it won’t be long now sweetheart’. Her heart felt gladdened and the barriers were beginning to melt away.

All of a sudden her body jolted and she was back in her room, she opened her eyes and she was in her bed. She was alone and the house was quiet. She thought about what she had just experienced and felt puzzled.

It was late and she sensed a change; and it began to register on all levels. She felt lighter and less burdened physically and was conscious of two emotions.

The first emotion was a deep sadness as she knew she would be leaving her children and grandchildren who she loved. She knew they would be sad, even though she wanted them to be happy for her.

She felt herself rise from her bed and panicked, trying to grab hold of something, her heart beat faster than normal. ‘Aghh’ what with the dream she had just had and this new encounter she really began to panic.

As she watched the scene just above her body; she saw herself lying in bed and through her panic and fear she began to experience another emotion.

The second emotion was exhilaration. The exhilaration was beginning to grow stronger within her. It was like a rainbow of colours exploding in all directions touched by gold dust; it was like joy reaching every nerve ending in her body and all exploding simultaneously.

She thought it odd because she knew that it was night and yet she saw the sun was shining into the room through the voile curtains casting a soft diffused light, onto white bedding with large red poppies and beige accessories; she really loved how comfy the bed was and the colour combinations. This was one of her favourite experiences; the soft breeze blowing through voile curtains. She rubbed her eyes in disbelief.

She felt herself lifting further out of her body with the silver cord still attached.

She knew deep in her psyche that the three day process had begun where she would drift in and out of deep sleep and her body would grow colder and the silver cord would finally dissolve.

She thought about how blessed she had been having such wonderful children and grandchildren; they had been heart lights for her and a great source of joy in her life. They had all grown up into fine young people. She thanked God that she was so blessed with her family.

The scene began to fade and the exhilaration increased until she thought she would burst because she was going home. GOING HOME! Finally she was going home.

The veil between Heaven and Earth was beginning to lift and she saw her experiences on Earth so clearly now, which combined with the present.

She knew that more was going to be revealed over the next three days.

She got an idea of knowing that once the veil completely lifted that she would meet up with all of her spiritual family, spirit guides, guardian angels and the Angelic Realm who had also mourned her leaving Heaven for her journey to her Earth life. They would be waiting and rejoicing her return; she began to feel herself drift into sleep, whilst all was quiet and still around her.

She felt a jolt and found herself back in her body. ‘Oh my God’ she thought, scrambling around in her brain to make sense of the two events that had just happened.

Chapter 2 – Family time with her daughter

She opened her eyes, it was still dark and she began to think about her family. She thought about her daughter Laura, she had been such a good daughter, there was a long time when there seemed to be friction between them, this had finally changed and they had become friends. She was proud of her Daughter; she had such a loving heart.

Then she drifted off to sleep again this time without any dreams.

When she opened her eyes; the room was diffused with light coming from the hallway. The house was quiet and felt very still. She turned onto her left side and tried to remember her experience from earlier when she was falling. Was it a dream or an experience? Her body was now frail, but her mind was very active and she began to think about the book she had written and why she had written it. What an amazing experience that had been.

She got hold of the bedside cabinet to help her to get up out of bed; slowly she eased herself out of bed, her fragile knees wouldn’t allow her to stand easily. As she got up she grabbed the larger drawers to give herself support. Slowly easing herself out of the bedroom she made her way to the bathroom sliding her hand along the wall.

Laura her daughter heard her and came into the hall.

‘Mum, what are you doing?’ she asked in a semi stern voice as though she was telling her off; the give-away was the smile on her face.

‘Just going to the loo,’ she answered.

‘Let me help,’ she said with a tone that wouldn’t let her argue. She could manage. She had always been independent and found it hard to feel like she was a burden to anyone. She let her daughter help her.

After going to the loo, Laura helped her back into bed. ‘Do you want something to drink or eat?’ she enquired.

‘What time is it?’

‘It’s 2.30 in the morning’ Laura replied

‘Can I have a coffee please and if you are not too tired can we chat a little?’

Laura replied ‘So long as it doesn’t tire you too much Mum.’

‘I’ll get plenty of rest in a couple of days, I just want to talk a little, while it is quiet and you are on your own,’ she laughed.

Laura was incredibly gentle with her. She loved her daughter more than words could describe.

Laura plumped up her pillows and set her in the middle of the bed so she could sit with her. She brought two cups in one with coffee and one with tea.

‘I’ve put a little cold water in it so you can drink it without burning your mouth.’

‘Gosh, Laura we have travelled a long way together,’ she said gently. ‘You have been a good loving daughter, even when you were in your bossy phase.’ She smiled with a smile that filled her soul and showed Laura she was not being critical or nasty and they laughed together. They had been through their issues and had come to a place where they were both comfortable and easy with each other. They had learned to laugh together and she finally saw that the joy had returned to Laura’s soul.

Laura had been restless for a long time. She didn’t know what she wanted to do with her life. Ashton and Caden were now in their 20’s. Laura had strived to give her boys all that she didn’t have as a child and more. Laura and her husband Lee had given the boys a stable loving upbringing, with chances to experience all types of activities and adventures, built in around all the different places they had all lived.

They talked about the boys and how they were doing and how they had continued their development from being kind and caring children into kind and caring adults.

They talked about their poignant moments they had shared together.

‘Mum can I ask you something?’

‘You can ask,’ and they laughed together.

‘Have you had a good life?’

She went pensive momentarily as the memories flooded into her mind. How she had struggled to bring up 2 children without any financial or emotional support. She had worked so hard to keep a roof over their heads and food in their tummies.

She had taken up education at the age of 27 and studied for 20 years; receiving a B.Sc. Psychology, M.Sc. Psychology; an Advanced Diploma in Counselling; a Diploma in Supervision and Teaching Qualifications. She so wanted to give her children a better life financially. When she was studying for the M.Sc., in Psychology she also worked full time and had 3 part time jobs as well. She didn’t know how she did it, as she was also ill for over two years with Hyperthyroidism. It took her another two years to get better. Then she developed gall stones and the agony she experienced was worse than being in labour with her children. Eventually she had an operation to remove her gall bladder. She remembered how stressed she got, especially when she was struggling financially.

‘Yes, I’d do some things differently Laura, I would want to put some things right.’ She paused and then continued, ‘I tried to do things better, but there are still things I regret deeply that happened with you and David. At the time I didn’t know any better.’ Tears welled up in her eyes and Laura took hold of her hand.

‘It’s ok Mum, I finally understand.’

‘I really did the best I could with the resources and strategies I had, they were poor. It’s a bit like baking a cake; if the ingredients are off or one of the ingredients is missing then the cake will not rise or it will taste revolting.’ She gulped and slightly screwed up her face, because she wanted to admit things to Laura, but not in order to hurt her. ‘The main strategy that I had been taught as a child was to express myself in anger.’ She sighed. ‘Then I started to learn other ways of expressing myself besides anger. Do you know how sorry I am for using anger towards you and David?’ She left the question in the air and felt really sad and tired that this had been her only strategy for so long. She couldn’t take it back but she did learn to change it.

‘Finally I began to learn more and then I changed my behaviour. Some of my behaviours were not all negative, such as my stubbornness and resilience were a god send and helped me to carry on.’

She looked at Laura who was still holding her hand and said ‘I really did my very best. I do have regrets but overall my life has been an interesting journey.’

Laura interjected ‘I get it now Mum, I know you did your best and I was really hard on you about my childhood; without the tough times, I now see that it has all been part of making me who I am.’ Laura squeezed her hand gently and they both understood the patterns of families.

‘Since I wrote the book a lot changed for me and I had enough money to travel to places, to be comfortable and to share it with others. The book cleared the ghosts from the past and that enabled me to change the past.’ she said wistfully.

‘You’ve been a great friend and daughter and I’m grateful for having you in my life. The moment we met face to face when you were born we connected instantly. You were such a happy joyous baby and I am so happy that you have found that part of yourself again. It was my dearest wish and it was missing for such a long time. My heart is truly gladdened, Laura.’

She was tiring and finished her coffee.

Laura said, ‘Rest now, Mum, I love you.’ and kissed her on her forehead.

She closed her eyes and thought about the love between them and how they had truly found it on Earth as well as in Heaven.

Chapter 3 – Meeting with her mother

She drifted back into a very deep sleep and began dreaming again. She found herself sitting in a field with a view of soft rolling hills like the South Downs, she had been there once and it reminded her of feminine energy; there were gentle curves to the land, she felt really comfortable sitting where she was. The green of the soft feminine hills relaxed her and she started to hear music in her mind. The music was of choirs in harmony and perfect timing.

All of a sudden, the music wasn’t in her head anymore it was outside all around her, she lay back and could smell the earth; the wonderful earthy smell as if it had just rained, but she didn’t feel damp underneath. The sun was shining and she could feel the warmth permeate her body and her bones, it felt so good, just listening and lying there. She decided to stay like that so that she could, absorb the music, smells and warmth.

Suddenly the sun disappeared and became obscured; she hadn’t seen any clouds, so she felt slightly puzzled. She heard someone softly say her name. She shaded her eyes enough to block out the sun keeping them slightly opened. She could see a silhouette of a woman stood in front of her, she recognised the shape of the woman but it was vague in her memory.

She sat up but it was still hard to see who it was because the sun was behind the woman.

The woman asked ‘Can I sit with you?’

She responded with a nod.

As the woman sat down, she began to recognise her. Her chest tightened up; it was her Mother. What was her Mother doing here? She found it hard to believe, even though she was sitting next to her. It didn’t seem real; it felt alien to her because it had been a long time since she had seen her.

Suddenly all the grief she felt when she was 14 was as real as if it was yesterday. She felt transported back in time.

‘Mum!’ she asked tentatively and began to feel choked up and emotional. Tears began to well up behind her eyes and her throat tightened up and she wanted to pat her chest. She placed her own hand on her chest and patted gently. ‘Is it really you?’

‘Yes it is,’ her Mother said, ‘we were supposed to meet here and at this time, so I could explain things to you.’

She felt dumbfounded and although she couldn’t find the words verbally her head was full of things she wanted to say.

Her Mum looked the same age as when she had died; 39. Her hair was the same as it had always been; it was combed back with two kiss curls at her temples, with curls in the rest of her hair. She was still 5’.1 ¼ inches and about a size 12. Her Mother had a glow about her now. Life had beaten her down, when she was alive; it must have been hard bringing up 4 children in the fifties with a husband who had been damaged mentally because of his experiences in the war and his childhood.

She loved her Mother so much and felt she was her best friend. When her Mother had died she was bereft and dreamed about her a lot. She found it hard to believe she was dead. Although she was only 14 when her Mother had died, she knew what death was because her Father had died the year before. She had felt that when she viewed her Father‘s body he was not there, his body was just a shell.

The year in between her Father and her Mother dying had been the best for her. She did not have to live in fear of the physical, mental or sexual abuse anymore.

Her Mother held her hands and they faced each other. As her Mother took hold of her hands, she started to sob and her Mother held her and just let her sob to relieve the grief she couldn’t express at 14. Her mother continued to hold her and began talking to her softly, but loudly enough for her to hear over the sobs and tears.

‘Before my transition to Heaven I saw and felt your grief and how you had to have a paddy so you could see me after I died. Others didn’t know your reasons for that; they thought you were just a silly 14 year old.’

It was as if her Mother read her mind. ’I saw you saying ‘I want to see my Mum’, you were crying. People were saying it was better to remember me as I was. I saw and felt your sadness. I knew that you needed to know if I was still in pain. I saw your relief as I stood on the opposite side of my coffin and you could see I was no longer in pain. I comforted you all, but you couldn’t recognise it.’

Her Mother continued, ‘I saw all those dreams that you had for 17 years after I died. I saw how you couldn’t find me and desperately wanted someone to recognise your grief, but nobody did because you were 14 and somehow being 14 didn’t warrant any sympathy not in the same way as your sister was recognised. I saw Chris your brother on his own and his great sadness. You had all lost everything, your parents, your home, your school, your things and your friends and the way of life you knew. Her mother gently moved a lock of hair from her face and continued. ‘You all bore such great losses. I knew in my heart you would survive it all. I had to go and be with your Dad. He made such great sacrifices so that you could carry out your life purpose.’

She was still crying it was as if the tears had come from deep inside, somewhere hidden.

Her Mother had paused for a second or two and now she continued to talk to her.

‘I know that you see that now and I know that you thought I’d deserted you and rejected you. The rejection was so hard for you. I know how much you loved me. I came when I could. Your Dad was in so much pain over his actions on earth. He agreed to do that for you, so you could use your gift and put it down in words for other people, so they too could understand their life purpose and journey."

Her sobs had lessoned and she was just giving the odd sob deep from her soul. She had idolised her Mother and the grief had been deeply hidden in her soul. She felt as if she had lost part of herself.

Slowly, she lifted her head and wiped her eyes. It was funny really and she laughed, her Mum was younger than she was now. When she was crying she felt like she was 14 again and she cried like a 14 year old. She remembered how sensitive she had been at that age. If anybody looked at her in the wrong way or said a harsh word she’d fill up ready to burst into tears. She had learned to hold those tears in and her throat would ache so much. When she had counselling later in her life, her Counsellor would say she cried through her nose.

She calmed down and her age changed back to the here and now. She felt tired from releasing all the pent up grief.

She looked at her Mum, who glowed with love and light.

Her Mum said I have met with you today to help prepare your transition and for you to grieve before you leave the Earth Plane. You have done so much work on your Earth journey and your Dad and I are so grateful, because it has released us and we have been able to do our healing now. Some will be completed when you come back home. We are so grateful you stayed strong and decided not to take your own life before your time; that would have made things so complicated.

Her Mother continued I kept sending your messages about how if you did take your own life before your time, how you would have to do it all again. All three of us would. You saw the pictures I sent of your despair of having to live a similar type of life again and how we breathed a sigh of relief when you decided to carry on. In earth years it took time for you to start to forgive and to see the reasons for your purpose. Seeds were planted in your mind when you were 31 and you followed them through. You followed the idea that ‘we choose our parents for certain lessons’.

You came from a family with abandonment issues which had deeply affected all of us. You came from a family that had abuse issues; physically, sexually and emotionally. We admire and love you so much for all the hard work you have done, the research and learning, the emotional and mental healing you have achieved so far. Her Mother looked at her with so much love and devotion.

She looked at her Mother and she then knew that she hadn’t really abandoned her; she had been sending her messages. This lifted her spirits even more. Things clicked into place and she felt the release inside her heart, it was all meant to be.

She laughed out loud and her Mum looked at her. She said I was just thinking about free will. All along I have been guided. When I tried to end my life that was my free will, but I decided that I didn’t want to live another life like I had been living. Even though my life was too hard I decided I was going to stick it out and live this life. She laughed some more. I don’t feel I had much free will because I have been guided to do the book and it has felt like a dog with a bone that wouldn’t let go; ha ha. They both laughed with that wise sense of knowing.

I remember when you were little; you were very stubborn; I think you got that from me.

Mum I remember when you hit Dad with the poker. I was so proud of you and you wouldn’t let him get near you so he could hit you. You went up in my estimation; I was cheering you on, in the inside. I saw your stubbornness and I was proud of your courage.

Her Mother said When you were little you’d colour and draw. I was so proud of you, you were very good and I would watch you and see how patient you were with your drawings even at such a young age.

I loved you very much and I think at some level you picked up on my grief that I felt because I had to give up my first born daughter for adoption. Her mother paused for a moment as if remembering her grief from that loss. That was very hard and I knew deep inside that one day you would understand the implications because you lost your eldest daughter when your husband ran off with her to America when she was 2 years old. You realised the effects that this had on Laura and how your grief affected her. Then when David was born, you were afraid to love him, because he’d been so ill and nearly died. You did love him and it didn’t take long for your connection to happen to him. We had similar patterns, so I knew you had understood.

She continued with I felt afraid to love you, because you looked so much like my first daughter that I had adopted and I was afraid to lose you too. You were a stubborn little thing and you never gave up on me. Her Mother continued slowly and thoughtfully. You were desperate to get my love and you wanted more physical contact. I found it difficult so you would find a way by doing my hair or nails. You tried to get my attention by getting things for me, you’d often come back with flowers from the woods or draw and colour pictures.

They were both quiet and still holding hands. She knew their time today was coming to an end for the moment and this felt fine. She felt lifted and had a deeper understanding of the things she hadn’t realised before like her Mother sending her messages and thoughts, which were stronger than she had realised.

Her attention came back to the hills and the soft choir; she had been oblivious of these aspects whilst in deep communication with her Mother. The setting was fully back in her awareness now.

Darling child and daughter, I will leave you to finish your transition. This work needed to be done before you finish your earth journey. Remember and see how much I love you, said her Mother.

She could see how much her Mother loved her by her golden glow.

Her Mother kissed and hugged her and told her about the excitement in Heaven there was about her return to them all. Her Mother asked her to lie back and to get ready to close her eyes.

The choir music began to sing Hallelujah in stereo all around her, she could feel the music permeate her soul and she saw the colours and patterns that the music made. It was amazing and her soul was excited.

A memory came into her mind where she remembered standing in the kitchen with her 3 grandson’s when they were aged 12, 10 and 8. They all sang at the top of their voices the chorus of Hallelujah and they enjoyed singing together, their souls were in harmony. Slowly, softly and quietly the music began to fill up her soul and she closed her eyes again. She was enjoying the music and the feelings associated with the music. She continued to lay there thinking about her Mother.

Chapter 4 – Family time with her son

She was being shaken gently on the shoulder; her breathing had been so quiet and slow that her son David thought she had slipped away. He gently shook her again on the shoulder Mum, Mum. She opened her eyes and told him.

I have just been with my Mum, it was so lovely, David.

I thought you’d gone. I don’t want you to go.

She took hold of his hand to comfort him.

It won’t be long now.

A tear trickled down his face. She sat up and wiped away his tear.

I don’t know what I am going to do without you. You have always been so consistent in my life and the boy’s lives.

All you have to do is to remember that no matter what happened I always loved you.

She carried on. I did the best I knew how to do and sometimes that wasn’t good enough. Sometimes I didn’t know what I was doing, when a situation got difficult.

Tell me about it Mum; I know exactly what you mean. I did the best I could and it wasn’t always good enough at times.

I know you did. Its how others view it that can make it harder than it is.

They went quiet as they were both thinking about what she had said.

I used to try and save you from yourself by trying to teach you to think about the consequences of your actions, but it was your life and I couldn’t seem to get through.

There were times Mum when it did get through, but it only seemed to affect me when I had to face the consequences of my actions. I didn’t want you to be right because that made me feel wrong. He cleared his throat. I found it hard to feel I was wrong. I needed to feel right about myself.

She nodded in