Difficult Managers _how to deal with them and be liberated

By Tom Jaap

Dealing with ‘difficult’ relationships

Whatever reason you have for obtaining this book, I trust that its contents provide answers that help you to solve whatever issues you may be encountering with relationships. The information and options I offer are based on over 30 years of interacting with a wide range of people from individual one-on-one sessions to being a keynote speaker at events with over thousands of participants. When facilitating culture change and other organisational events participants often shared with me the personal difficulties they were encountering in their organisations.

In many instances it was due to the relationship they had with their supervisor/manager although on other occasions it was with their colleagues. If I had knowledge of the organisation and the persons involved, I was able to suggest ideas on how they could handle the situation without exacerbating it. The feedback I received indicated that many of the ideas worked, and when not, the person involved was able to modify the suggestions to achieve the desired result. This is why I am confident that you can use the options as suggested or modify them to fit with your own situation.

Word of caution

It is very important to keep in mind that we are all different in some ways from each other. For example the differences include age, gender, education, religion, temperament, and culture. Although the differences may be minor there is always the risk that something we do or say could create problems in the relationships. This is why I suggest caution when referring to someone as being a ‘difficult’ person. Instead you need to learn to describe the behaviour the person is using that creates a difficulty for you. In this way you can avoid the danger of falling into the trap of using judgmental words to depict the person by replacing them with descriptions of the behaviour he/she uses.

The more aware you are of the similarities and differences that exist in your relationships the better able you will be to keep them constructive. To improve your awareness I strongly recommend that you invest time in learning about how people differ from each other. There are many tools and information available that describe the differences in ways that can truly help you. I have provided some web links at the end of this book I think you will find useful in describing people differences.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Tom Jaap
• Release date: Apr 19, 2013
• ISBN: 9780946302093

Tom Jaap

As President and founder of the Centre for Enabling Leadership personal development has been one of my main areas of interest and I have developed a range of short 3 hour to three day learning events that include “People Skills” and “Personal Branding”. I have also developed a suite of on-line behavioural questionnaires with the Centell team. The questionnaires act as a sound vehicle for individuals to diagnose their strengths as well as highlight areas that may need development. The insights that emerge have provided a powerful motivator for change and the results have been quite spectacular in many instances. I have often been described as an effective facilitator where ‘difficult’ issues and people need to be confronted in a positive manner that is designed to produce a constructive outcome.I am a Chartered Engineer, have an MBA in which I majored in group behaviour and I am a Companion of the Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development. I have been actively engaged in the international scene as a keynote speaker and workshop facilitator at conferences around the world. This has provided me with the opportunity to publish several books and many articles with ‘Enabling Leadership’ being my benchmark book. Current assignments involve me in creating new ways to assist organisations and individuals to cope with the pace of change in which there is a urgent need to involve women in top management roles in organisations. I am also actively involved in designing a process to identify a person’s learning preferences as a means of assisting them to more effectively develop their capabilities.

Book preview

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