Time Well Spent

By J. Richard Singleton

EVER BEEN DUMPED!?!
After being brutally ditched by his girlfriend, high school senior Seth decides to win back ex Lysandra by reinventing himself into the man he has always wanted to be by fulfilling his childhood dreams and wishes. With the assistance of his, well, quirky best friend Russ and his platonic guy-girlfriend, Anna, his senior year becomes one of adventure and self-realization in this hilarious original screenplay by J. Richard Singleton.

• Language: English
• Publisher: J. Richard Singleton
• Release date: Nov 14, 2012
• ISBN: 9781301554546

J. Richard Singleton

Novelist, screenwriter, essayist and true-crime writer, J. Richard Singleton has been crafting stories since high school, with an original screenplay that he wrote, "Thugs," became a semi-finalist in the American Accolades Screenplay Contest. At CSULA, he dual majored in political science and English, writing for both his university's newspaper and literary journal. He completed "Glyphics" right before he turned 21, then he finished it again in 2011. His literary influences include Kafka, Twain, Poe and Stephen King.

Book preview

J. Richard Singleton

Copyright 2002

Smashwords Edition

FADE IN:

EXT. A LOS ANGELES SIDESTREET - DAY

Two teens, SETH ANDERSON and RUSS MOORE, are standing at

opposite ends of the street. LOWRIDER BIKES leaning against

them, they’re wearing ridiculous make-shift armor-they’ve

strapped and duct-taped PIE TINS and metal GARBAGE

CANS to their torsos. They have METAL BUCKETS over their

heads and are holding MOPS at their sides.

SETH

(to Russ)

BUCKETHEAD! Thou art a villain!

RUSS

(to Seth)

Thou dareth call me a villain, Sir

Sticksalot?

SETH

Yes, I dareth. Thou are a most unsavory

naïve and a liar and an unworthy receiver

of camaraderie!

RUSS

Thou calleth me a liar?

SETH

Yes I doth.

RUSS

I do not but speaketh the truth--to bring

forth the truth to yond blind eyes. I hath

did this now, and always have--em--eth.

SETH

Don’t thou peeth on my leg and tellth me

it’s rain.

RUSS

I peeth not!

SETH

Peeth not, you say?

RUSS

That’s what I saideth!

SETH

Then defend doth!

He gets on his low rider, kicks off and starts riding with

the mop outwards like a lance. Russ does the same.

WIDE OUT

The two are heading for a collision course with each

other--they are jousting(!) The two strike each other,

sending them both to the pavement. They get up. Seth

strikes Russ’ armor. Russ returns the blow. Seth sweeps him

with the staff, sending him to the floor once again. He

begins hitting him on the pail with the staff. After

several moments, Russ begins shaking his arms and Seth

stops striking him.

RUSS

(pleading)

Okay! Stop, stop! Lysandra’s not a skank.

SETH

That’s right.

RUSS

Right.

There’s a moment of silence.

SETH

Let’s go get some tacos then.

EXT. TACO BELL DRIVE THRU - DAY

Seth and Russ pull up to the Taco Bell ORDER BOX in Seth’s

dilapidated CAR. Seth stares at the MENU in mock

contemplation.

TACOBELL RADIOGUY (V.O.)

(over com)

Hello and welcome to Taco Bell, how may I

serve you?

SETH

(into com)

Huh? What did you say? "How may I service

you?"

Seth and Russ giggle idiotically.

TACOBELL RADIOGUY (V.O.)

(over com)

Yeah, how may I serve you?

SETH

(into com)

Hey, look, buddy, I just came here for some

chalupas, not for some freaky male hooker

sex stuff. Now maybe if there’s a chick

somewhere in there...

The two breakout laughing. For a moment, the Tacobell Guy

doesn’t get what the hell they’re laughing about.

TACOBELL RADIOGUY (V.O.)

(over com, pissed)

Look, if you want something, order now or

go jogoff!

SETH

(into com)

Jogoff? Heh relax, fella, don’t get your

hairnet in a knot. I’ll have 20 tacos--five

hard, twelve soft, surprise me with the

last three. Three Nachos Bell Grandes,

eight chalupas, twelve bean burritos and a

small Diet Pepsi, heavy ice.

RUSS

Ha. Hard.

TACOBELL RADIOGUY (V.O.)

(over com)

That’s not a real order!

SETH

(into com)

Yeah, sure it is. Do you think I’d come

to a fine eatery establishment such as

this--I had to choose between this and

Spago and I chose this, I tell you what--just

to place a fake order and drive off

laughing? Now here’s what you do: Get making

that order right now so when we drive up,

we’ll be good and ready to pay and go.

More laughing.

TACOBELL RADIOGUY (V.O.)

(over com)

You goddamn sonsofbitches!

The two laugh hysterically and speed up, around the drive

thru. When they get around it, they see there is a long

line to the pickup window. Standing outside of the pickup

window is a LARGE TACOBELL EMPLOYEE holding and patting a

BASEBALL BAT, waiting.

RUSS

Damn.

SETH

Okay, we’ll just back out.

He shifts the car into reverse and drives back around the

corner but then quickly slams on the brakes. They get as

far as the order box. There is a car pulling into the

driveway-- they are blocked in. The Radioguy is LAUGHING

manically in his squeaky teenage voice.

TACOBELL RADIOGUY (V.O.)

(over com)

Forty tacos you say?

SETH

(into com)

No, dude. Twenty.

TACOBELL RADIOGUY (V.O.)

(over com)

I think it’s forty now.

Shrill LAUGHING, this time from the order box. Seth and

Russ are screwed.

EXT. LYSANDRA’S HOUSE - EVENING

It’s a large, upscale suburban home. Seth pulls up to the

corner and gets out. Clothes and other personal belongings

are falling from the sky. Seth looks up in confusion. The

pretty hot LYSANDRA, draped in a robe and hair all messed

up, is throwing stuff from a second-story balcony. She goes

back into her room. He looks up.

SETH

Lysandra, what are you doing?

She again appears on the balcony.

LYSANDRA

I don’t believe you--I just don’t believe

you!!!

She throws a CD PLAYER to the ground; it lands at his feet.

SETH

What? C’mon, I brought you tacos.

She goes back inside.

SETH (CONT’D)

What’s the problem? You're acting like a

black woman in a movie written by a black

woman--or Tyler Perry!

She comes out again, this time tossing some COMIC BOOKS

down atop him.

LYSANDRA

What’s the problem? What’s the problem? The

problem is 10 years we’ve been going

together and do you have any dreams? Do you

have any aspirations? No!

SETH

Yeah, but nothing’s wrong, is it?

LYSANDRA

That’s it--that’s what’s wrong: Nothing!

You’re The Nothing!

POV - LYSANDRA

She’s looking down on him.

LYSANDRA (O.S.)

Here’s your copy of the Kama Sutra!

A thin BOOK falls from the sky to the ground. Seth bends

down to pick it up.

SETH

But didn’t this supply us with hours upon

hours of aerobic-rotic fun?

LYSANDRA (O.S.)

Here’s your crappy VH1 Making Of...

video.

The VIDEO falls to the ground at Seth’s feet. He picks it

up and holds it skyward, to Lysandra.

SETH

Hey, this isn’t crappy! It’s Britney

Spears! Back when it was all about the

music--and back when VHS was a viable

media! Shows what you know! Now get down

here, and we can talk more about your

feelings on VHS and the works of Britney

Spears!

A 13" TV SET lands on his head. Seth manages to half catch

it, but a good amount of force