Campervan Capers

By Alannah Foley

CAMPERVAN CAPERS
A Couple's First Year
Exploring the World of Campervanning
What do you do when you've got itchy feet but don't want to uproot your life?
Buy a campervan!
At least, that's what this couple did.

After a rather nomadic life, the author settles down with her partner in Cornwall, England. But, after a number of years, those itchy, old feet want to get on the move again.

On a restless whim, the couple decide to buy a campervan. It turns out to be a great compromise. Now they can up-sticks whenever they want without having to completely uproot their lives.

Campervan Capers follows the capering couple through their first year of owning a camper, and blends travel tale with humour whilst also addressing some of the more practical aspects.

(Travels are within Britain & include: Wales, Derbyshire, Dorset, Wiltshire, Devon, Cornwall & more.)

BONUS!
Includes:
30 Top Tips for the Novice
Considerations when Buying a Motorhome or Caravan
Useful Weblinks

Get 30+ Top Tips for the Aspiring & Newbie Campervanner – a FREE downloadable 'cheat sheet' based on the tips in the Campervan Capers book & blog – when you sign up to the author's New Releases newsletter (link inside the book).

Also why not pick up Campervan Capers 2 - The Ongoing Adventures or a Campervanning Couple? Available FREE at most outlets.

WHO will the book most APPEAL TO?

As the 'mini adventures' unfold in the book, the newbie campervanner will benefit most from the author's experiences and tips along the way. If you have so far only dreamt of owning a camper, then the book may just give you the inspired nudge you need to give it a try.

More experienced 'vanners will no doubt take much of the advice for granted, but may still enjoy reading the author's travel tales which are written in an easy, light-hearted style.

Why not preview the book to get a flavour before you buy?

FAUX REVIEWS by PSEUDO-CELEBRITIES

Here are just a few of the author's infamous 'faux reviews' of the spurious kind for Campervan Capers...

I go out in my camper to study insects. It's amazing how many different species you can collect on your windscreen as you drive full pelt along the motorway.
David Atinburrer

I used to have an RV back in the great US of A. But then I came to this tiny little island called Britain and read Campervan Capers. My God! I was transformed – and bought one of those quaint little English campers instead. Downsizing sure has made me happy!
Tom Crews
Actor, Mission Improbable

I heartily encourage a campervanning lifestyle! Getting out onto the open road, it's amazing just how much road-kill you can pick up... And, with a gas hob on board, I can fry up what I find on the spot.
Huw Fern-Leigh-Wit-In-Stall

Get CAMPERVAN CAPERS and join the author for some four-wheeled adventures on the inside!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Pyjama Writer Publishing
• Release date: Apr 21, 2012
• ISBN: 9781476394091

Alannah Foley

Alannah Foley... aka The Pyjama WriterAuthor of mysteries, travel tales, fiction, and other maverick titles that won't fall in line...Raised in the UK, Alannah lived in her Aussie birthplace for five years in her twenties, where mozzies regularly used her for target practice. She managed to return to Old Blighty devoid of shark or snake bite, however, and currently lives in picturesque Cornwall with her cycling-obsessed partner.Alannah is a multi-genre author who has published mysteries & other works of fiction as well as travel tales about her capers in a campervan and adventures Down Under. She also enjoys writing humorous portraits of life (some still in the pot!).When she's not writing, Alannah likes to hit the trails on her bike, take walks in nature, and go kayaking – basically, anything that will get her butt out of the chair for a while that doesn't involve going to a sweaty old gym.Get the author's pester-free newsletter and be the first to hear about upcoming titles, early discounts on new releases, and a few other goodies exclusive to her VIP Readers Group. Simply visit bit.ly/PJW-Newsletter to sign up.To find out more about the author & her work, visit her website at www.thePyjamaWriter.com.

Book preview

FREE CHEAT SHEET

30+ Top Tips for the Aspiring or Newbie Campervanner. Get this FREE handy 'cheat sheet' of campervan tips, plus a list of considerations when buying a motorhome or caravan, all of which are featured in the author's Campervan Capers book and blog. Click to find out more.

Get your free copy of 30+ Top Tips for the Aspiring or Newbie Campervanner when you join the author's Readers Group.

CLICK HERE to get started.

CONTENTS

FREE CHEAT SHEET

PREFACE

INTRODUCTION

1 – MAIDEN VOYAGE

2 – THE UNDISCOVERED DOORSTEP

3 – STRETCHING OUR WHEELS

4 – THE WELSH LEEK CONSPIRACY

5 – DAMP SQUIBS AND SNOWY ROOFTOPS

6 – OUT OF HIBERNATION

7 – DAWDLING ROUND DORSET

8 –  PEAK EXPERIENCES

9 – JOURNEY TO THE PAST

10 – STAR-STRUCK

11 – THE MAGIC OF CORNWALL

12 – DIPPING INTO DEVON

13 – MODERN WHEELS AND ANCIENT STONES

EPILOGUE – THE END OF THE ROAD?

NOTE TO READER

30 TOP TIPS for the Novice

CONSIDERATIONS WHEN BUYING  A Motorhome or Caravan

USEFUL WEBLINKS for each Chapter

FAUX REVIEWS by Pseudo-Celebrities for Campervan Capers

ABOUT the Author

CONNECT with the Author

OTHER TITLES by Alannah Foley

COPYRIGHT Information

PREFACE

(PRE–RAMBLE)

Oh, goodie! A preface! I really love writers wittering on, when all I want to do is get on and read the story!

(Don't worry, this one is only short and has headings for easy reading…)

DISCLAIMERS

Reader Discernment

I haven't included anything in the book which I believe to be inaccurate or 'shonky'. Still, readers will all be different and have varying needs, so use your own discernment in interpreting my experiences, checking out links and taking on advice. What's right for us may not be right for you.

Opinions on each site are my own and others may have a different viewpoint. I have also endeavoured to ensure information is correct as far as possible, but make no guarantee that my facts are beyond reproach.  I cannot take responsibility for anyone else's experience of a site or the fact that information may have changed since our travels.

Caravan Club

Part-way through the book, we joined the Caravan Club. I would emphasise that we are not representatives of the Caravan Club. The aim of our membership was to trial it and see what we thought. I have endeavoured to report as objectively as possible – as I have done with all other sites – so that readers might benefit from our experiences.

Although I have mentioned some of the Caravan Club's 'CL' sites by name (with the Club's permission), be reminded that they are exclusive to Club members and full listings are given in the Club directory which you receive upon joining.

Current Information

Any site fees are mentioned for reasons of comparison only and were current in the period covered by the book (2009/2010). However, whilst prices quickly go out of date, information and tips will still be relevant and useful for the most part.

All chapter links (at the end of the book) were active and correct just prior to publication and I don't endorse one company, organisation or website over another.

INTRODUCTION

A Brief Overview…

This book tells the story of a couple's first year in their first-ever campervan.  That couple is me and my partner, Steve.  And in the book, I seek to blend flowing travel tale with humour and insight, whilst sharing some of the more earthy practical aspects.

Who is the Book for?

The main audience I had in mind when writing the book was those who dream of getting a campervan/motorhome or caravan, or those who have not long owned one. Our mini adventures may also appeal to travel enthusiasts in general.

Whilst I do not claim to be an expert, I hope the novice (or would-be) will benefit from the practical tips we've picked up along the way (several are summarised in the section 30 Top Tips for the Novice at the end of the book for easy reference.)

As our travels all took place within Great Britain (see Contents for details), non-UK residents considering a campervan or caravan holiday here may also find the book useful.  Therefore, I've attempted to consider an international audience with little knowledge of the country, its seasons or its holiday periods.

Other Considerations

Throughout the book, I've endeavoured to consider a range of vehicles and owners, yet the world of motorhoming is so vast, it would be impossible to cover everything or everyone.  Similarly, as this story is about me and my partner – a childless couple in our forties who have only ever owned a Transit-sized camper – this inevitable bias will no doubt come through.

At the time of writing, people are watching their purse strings a lot more than they used to.  I have therefore sought to emphasise holidaying on a budget – no doubt leaving you to wonder who is the biggest cheapskate – us, or the reader?

Photographs

An online collection of our travel photos can be found at:

www.flickr.com/photos/alannah_foley/sets (or see the end of the book for links to photos by chapter).

For a map showing an overview of trips, visit Flickr at:

www.flickr.com/photos/alannah_foley/7102090827

And there's more…

At the end of the book, you'll find a summary of practical tips, reference links for each chapter, and links to the Campervan Capers blog, my website and information on my other works.

Anyway, enough of that!

Now kick back with a cuppa and enjoy the book…

Alannah Foley

Cornwall, England

April 2012

1 – MAIDEN VOYAGE

Blue skies and sunshine were companions that could only inspire optimism as we eagerly headed up the highway in our 'new' second-hand campervan. An invitation to a family barbecue in Newton Abbot, south Devon, was all the excuse my partner Steve and I needed to plan a long weekend away.

Our trip might only be a humble local jaunt, but we hoped it would be the first in a long line of journeys planned to keep my itchy feet at bay.  You see, in my twenties, I'd always had what some might call a restless spirit, never staying anywhere for too long.  But after meeting Steve in my mid-thirties, I finally got a taste of what it was like to 'settle down'.

Whilst this state of affairs had many redeeming qualities, I soon hit my forties and – hey presto! – a mid-life crisis!  Or at least, that's what I told myself it was.  Either way, neither of us had the travel bug badly enough to warrant uprooting our lives completely.  Yet I, for one, definitely needed a bit of adventure…  And then the campervan came along.

In August 2009, we chanced upon an old Autosleeper Flair at a bargain price, and over a weekend, we decided to buy it, thinking it would be a great compromise for our situation.  Now we could up-sticks whenever we felt the need, yet still keep our home lives going.  We could at least experiment for a year, couldn't we?  Then if it wasn't for us, we could always try something else.

So here we were, on our first-ever trip in our first-ever campervan.  And, after only a few hours' drive from our home in Cornwall, getting lofty views over the hedges that we'd never seen from the car, we pulled in at our campsite, enthusiastic about putting our new four-wheeled acquisition to the test.

The Twelve Oaks Farm caravan site was a peaceful working farm that had been 'upgraded' to make way for holidaymakers. We'd found out about it from an old holiday parks guide left inside the 'van, and booked easily by email; and it was only a short drive from Steve's cousin's house, where the Sunday barbecue was being held.

Now into September, the main British holiday season was over and there were plenty of spare pitches to choose from. We selected a spot on a slight incline and rooted round in the 'van, pulling out what looked like thin wedges of bright yellow cheese fit for a giant's lunch box: these were the 'van levellers; and, propped under the front wheels, it was hoped they would stop us from gradually sliding down the bed during the night.

For this, our maiden voyage into the Great Unknown, we'd done little planning, and we knew sweet Fanny Adams about campervans.  So, with no manual for the 'van, it looked like we'd have to wing things for a while. The table support poles, for example, were niftily housed in a 'pocket' above the side door. Luckily, Steve being taller than me, he could see them.  We also hadn't booked a pitch with electric hookup and, before leaving, had discovered the leisure battery was flat, so we'd have to use lamps and torches once it got dark.

After an easy-cook meal, I popped out to wash the dishes, leaving Steve to set up the bed.  Although our 'van had a sink, better to use the site's more spacious washing-up facilities instead. Relaxing at the sink, I revelled in the sheer simplicity of having only a single bowl of washing-up in front of me. It certainly seemed much more minimalistic than our usual after-meal sprawl in the kitchen at home. What a simple life this campervanning is, I thought. I probably hadn't enjoyed doing the dishes this much in years.

The blessed silence was broken by a chap clattering a large pile of washing-up onto the drainer beside me. As we chatted, it turned out that he still had two more loads yet to come, as he and his wife had had a roast dinner that night. Crikey! We didn't even have an oven in our 'van, let alone four hobs to cook on. Yet, despite my love of a roast, I didn't relish the thought of making one in our little 'van. Surely it'd be easier to eat out at the pub instead? I stood there, basking in our apparent relative poverty whilst the poor bloke continued to bemoan his mountain of evening-time chores.

Back at the 'van, Steve was still setting up the bed. Now, it turns out that some 'vans have fixed beds and some have what are called rock-and-roll beds (one tug and the backseat converts to a flat bed). Unfortunately, ours was more like a Krypton Factor-style jigsaw puzzle in comparison, so we wanted to set it up before dark rather than leave ourselves fumbling about by the half-light of our torches trying to piece it together.

Technically, it was possible to have a transverse bed in our Transit-sized camper (a much quicker setup), but since Steve was too tall to sleep across the width of the 'van, we had to fold down the front seats and make up the bed using every bit of 'furniture' instead. The good thing about our setup at least, was that the kitchen area was still accessible. With a rock-and-roll bed, certain cupboards would be off-limits.

As we finished piecing the bed together, we began to feel a bit like sardines in our 'tin can' 'van, with every bit of space gradually being filled with seat blocks, blankets and enough pillows to stuff a giant toy whale.  As forty-somethings, we were still agile enough to fiddle with such bed setups, but wait another decade or two and we might not want to risk pulling a muscle or ratcheting our spines out of joint.

My first night's sleep wasn't exactly blissful comfort. But then, we hadn't thought to 'test drive' the bed beforehand either. If you've ever come across the old fairy tale about the Princess and the Pea, then you'll get the picture of how annoyingly sensitive I am when it comes to feeling every bump and cushion-join underneath me. However, wriggling about, I managed to find the comfy spots, and finally got some sleep.

The next morning, we peered gingerly out through the curtains to see occasional bods walking across the site lawns in dressing-gowns and pyjamas. Watching the holidaymakers make their way to the shower block uninhibited, I thought the scene might not look out of place in a convalescent home or a lunatic asylum (oops – sorry! – politically correct alert! – I meant to say 'mental wellness recovery centre'). Other folk walked back and forth pulling what looked like an old-fashioned roller-type lawn-mower.  It was a nifty, cylindrical container with a long handle that rolled along (called an 'aqua-roll') and saved you carrying a heavy weight of water from tap to motorhome.

Later, we visited Steve's cousin Lisa and her partner Simon, and they kindly offered to show us around the area, suggesting we went for a walk on Dartmoor, the nearby National Park which is well known for its wild, moorland landscapes and granite outcrops. It certainly was a lovely sunny day for it, and they'd even drive us, so we could leave the campervan parked outside their place.

Now, Simon's a lovely chap, but nobody warned me that he drives like a Frenchman. His nippy driving technique reminded me of my teen years when I was driven at high speed around tight bends by some relative or other of my French exchange partner. There was snow on the roads, yet the guy drove as if he was trying to catch Santa's sleigh on its way out of town. And, looking back now, it's hard to say whether he was drunk or stoned into the bargain (the guy, not Santa). Fortunately, in our present-day scenario, there was no snow, but the car certainly wasn't gathering any moss.

We survived the drive, parked up and I unhooked my fingernails from the car seat. Led along grassland and tracks, we eventually came to Hound Tor, a beautiful granite outcrop to the east of Dartmoor.  We lay down to rest on the rocks, basking like lizards in the heat of the sun. Down below on the hillside, stones marked out the remains of an old settlement and, if Wikipedia is to be believed, this was a deserted medieval village called Hundatora, excavated between 1961 and 1975.

Simon led us to a river in the shelter of a peaceful, wooded valley and, after more walking in the beating sunshine, we eventually returned to the car and I fastened my seatbelt pending another demonstration from the Gallic Driving School Meister.

The next day was again full of bright sunshine, and we enjoyed a family barbecue at Lisa and Simon's place (the initial reason for our journey) before heading back to our site. Someone told us there was a heated swimming pool on site, but it was too late for a dip now, even if we'd remembered to bring our swimming gear.

Getting ready to leave the next day, we made use of the on-site recycling facilities then turned to see that the dreaded porta-potty loo was staring us in the face.  Try as one might to avoid it, it had to be dealt with. We'd inherited it with the 'van and, thankfully, the previous owners had had the good manners to empty and clean it thoroughly before unleashing it onto a new owner.

I'd only ever come across one of these portable toilets once before: on a barge holiday when I was eighteen – although I couldn't remember anyone stopping off to empty it anywhere. Perhaps, not wanting to draw attention to it, someone had crept away to 'do the deed'?  Anyway, after some consternation, we plucked up the