Does True Love Book Exist? For Girls: Your Guide to Finding True Love and Mr. Right

By Jarett Heindel

Tired of Being single? Tired of getting your heart broken? Tired of attracting the wrong guys? Tired of being used and treated poorly? Tired of hating your friends because they're happy in love? Ever wanted to peek inside a guy's brain and see how they truly think? This book will help deal with these questions by dispelling some of your false views about guys, love and relationships. It will give you the principles to become the woman that stops attracting the losers, and to start attracting great guys. It gives you insight on how guys think and operate. It's an honest, open, humorous and in-your-face book from the mind of a good guy.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Jarett Heindel
• Release date: Apr 11, 2012
• ISBN: 9781452424248

Jarett Heindel

Author of www.trueloveblog.com

Book preview

Does True Love Exist?

For Girls

Your Guide to Finding True Love and Mr. Right

by

Jarett Heindel

Does True Love Exist?

For Girls: Your Guide to Finding True Love and Mr. Right

Jarett Heindel

Copyright 2012 by Jarett Heindel

Smashwords Edition

http://www.trueloveexists.com

[e-mail]

ISBN 145377498X

EAN-13 9781453774984

Edited by Ryan Van Cleave

http://www.ryanvancleave.com

Final edit by Ivy Denson

Acknowledgments

I’d like to thank my dad for showing me what a real man is and how a woman is supposed to be treated. Mom, I hope that I find a wife as special and amazing as you are. Without you guys, this book would have never been written. You’re the best parents I’ve ever had.

Does True Love Exist?

For Girls

Your Guide to Finding True Love and Mr. Right

Table of Contents

First Chapter

Being Single- The Lonely Years

Dating – The Flirty Years

Relationship- The Rollercoaster Years

Marriage – The Happy Years

Bonus Features

Chapter 1

Notice that there is no Preface or Introduction. Why is that? Because YOU WON’T READ IT!!! I know you, because you’re exactly like me. So indulge me, pretend this is the first chapter, and just finish reading it. You never know, I might have hidden the purpose for life on the following page.

Why do I need ANOTHER book on dating and relationships?

First off, watch your mouth! I worked really hard on this book, and I’m not about to have you rain on my parade. Second, this is actually a great question. The shelves of Barnes & Noble are stuffed with books on love, dating, relationships, and marriages (as well as break-ups and divorce!). So why in the world do we need another book on these topics?

Here’s the thing, there’s a problem out there. We, as a country and a society, have let the original definition of love become skewed. No wonder people can’t find that old love anymore! It might seem that a definition changing isn’t that big of deal, but the effects are huge. This doesn’t just lead to a breakup, a broken heart, or a divorce, but it actually creates very unhealthy and serious relationship problems. We have 12-year-old girls having sex because they think the guy loves them. A friend of mine knows a 17-year-old girl who admitted to having slept with 23 guys. Think about that for a second. SEX WITH 23 GUYS AT THE AGE OF 17! We have women who stay in relationships where the guy beats her, and she stays with him, because she loves him.

Women across the country, and the world, are putting themselves in situations that they don’t deserve to be in. Jerks, disguised as regular-guys, are treating women like trash. Worst of all, they’re getting away with it again and again.

Let me be honest—this book isn’t going to save the world. But it’s my hope that this book will attract a few women walking by, just long enough for them to pick it up, scan through it, and be interested enough to find out how to make their lives a little bit better. Maybe when they’re done with it, they’ll share it with a friend or two.

I didn’t write this book to make lots of money. The reason I wrote this book is that I’m tired of seeing young girls believing the lies that they aren’t pretty, that they don’t deserve a good guy, and that they shouldn’t be treated like a princess. I’m tired of girls being hurt over and over again, and losing their belief that there is no such thing as true love. I’m tired of girls getting abused by guys and staying in the relationship because they think they don’t deserve any better. Girls, and guys for that matter, deserve to be happy. They deserve to find someone who will treat them right, and love them, and want to spend the rest of their life with them. But in order for girls to find that guy, they first need to stop believing the lies that they’ve somehow come to believe. They need to open their eyes to the truth.

What is this book about?

In a nutshell, this book is all about true love, relationships, and how to find a good guy. This book is designed to help you wade through all of the selfish losers who don’t know how to treat women. It’s designed to help you gain control over your self-esteem and put you back in control of your love life. It’s designed to put you in a situation to be desirable and to attract a good guy.

We know that relationships and love is never perfect, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t be happy in love. In order to find true love though, you have to have the proper framework. You can’t just hope that you stumble into an awesome relationship. And this book will help decrease the chances of failure and give you the blueprints for success in love.

Who is this book for?

This book is for anyone who is single, anyone in an unhappy relationship, or anyone seeking to enrich their relationships. I’ve tried to create a book that can help girls in junior high who have never had a boyfriend, all the way up to married women who have been married for years. The idea is not only to find Mr. Right, but to also work on, maintain, and enhance your relationship, whether you’re currently single, or in your 50th year of marriage.

What are your qualifications?

Let me start by saying that I’m not an expert in the traditional sense. I don’t have a PhD in human psychology, relationships, or love. I haven’t been in thousands of relationships. I have never been married. And to top things off, as I write this book, I’m currently single.

To make matters worse, I’m not a very good writer. I’m not creative, I suck at English, and I have an online thesaurus bookmarked so I can change all the words that I repeat into fancier words that sound better superior. This book is going to break all the traditional rules.

I have given advice to hundreds of guys and girls, both online and real life. I have helped teens, college-aged men and women, single people, married individuals, and couples. Has any of my advice helped? Probably not, but it sure sounds good for a book résumé.

And although you’re wondering why you shouldn’t just put this book back on the shelf, I do have a lot of life experience. My parents have been married for 28 years. They love each other now more than they ever have. I have been blessed to see true love first-hand, and to witness the way two people can truly love each other. And I know they’re not still together because of luck, but because of the way they treat each other, and the unselfishness they live out in their daily lives. It’s my dream that I can share with you what they have shared with me as I have watched them over the years.

What is the purpose of the book?

I definitely don’t know it all about love, relationships, marriage, or women. Although I’m certainly not perfect, and I might not be YOUR Mr. Right, I do believe that I’m a good guy.

The goal of this book is simply to give you insight to the brain of one of those good guys that you’re looking for, and to see how we think and operate, and what we’re looking for. Although I might not know it all, I definitely do have an opinion on most everything. And you will notice that as you read this book, I’m not shy about giving you my opinion. And I’m very black and white when it comes to almost every topic, but I’m mostly white, because my mom was white, and my dad was white.

I won’t beat around the bush, but I will give you the honest truth as I see it. So if you enjoy getting the truth without a bunch of smoke blown up your skirt, then this book is for you. There are going to be some times where you’ll disagree with me. There will probably even be some times where you call me a jerk, and tell me I have no clue what I’m talking about. But if you’ve ever wanted to open a guy’s head and see what’s inside (and I don’t mean an ex, who you wanted to break a vase over his head) and see first-hand from a guy and see what he’s honestly thinking, this book is for you. Maybe you’ve never known an honest guy and just want to see what that’s like; then this book is for you. And maybe guys are truly a mystery to you, and you just want to see how a guy thinks, operates, and functions; then this book is for you, too.

I intend to instill in you the principles of relationships, dating, and marriage that will help you succeed in your love life. I can’t possibly give you every scenario or situation you’ll run into, but it’s my goal that I can give you enough of the crucial tools by creating a foundation and a new attitude that will help you overcome problems and situations that you run into. You’ll also learn how to steer clear of circumstances that you don’t need to be in.

I want you to stop believing the lies about yourself and what you deserve that you’ve told yourself over the years. I want you to stop believing that there’s no such thing as true love. And I want you to stop believing that there isn’t an awesome guy for you. So sit down, open your mind, and let these ideas take hold and transform your life.

Chapter 2

Being Single:

The Lonely Years

I hate weddings. They remind me of how unmarried I am.

~ Me, 2010

Although being single is probably the hardest stage of life to be in, it’s also the most crucial. How your relationship turns out starts way before you even have a prospect. The decisions and choices you make and the attitudes and views you have determine what kind of a guy you attract, what kind of guy you will fall for, and how you will be treated. If you want to find and attract a great guy I suggest you read this portion of the book about 4, 5, or even 58 times. Just like a building can’t stand without a proper foundation, you will never be happy in love if you don’t properly set yourself up for success. And like other areas in life, if you don’t set yourself up for success, then you’re setting yourself up for failure. Most times in life, there’s no middle ground, and relationships are no different. Unless you take the proper steps to put yourself in a situation to be happy in marriage, then you’re essentially setting yourself up for unhappiness in marriage, divorce or being single. How’s the status quo been for you lately?

I have come to learn that in life our thoughts and our views are CAUSES. And the actions we take are EFFECTS of these causes. So what this means is that everything we do comes from what we believe, what we think of things, and our views on different aspects of life. The more I talk to girls, the more I realize how warped some of your views are. I understand that it is probably not the best way to start out a book by telling your readers that their way of thinking is wrong. But before I lose you, let me challenge you with this question: Why do women go from one horrible relationship to another? Why do women all over the country and world continue to get used, continue to get treated like trash, and continue to settle with guys that don’t deserve them?

The way you view your body, sex, guys, relationships, your self-esteem, your attitudes, and the way you think, matters. It affects your decisions with guys and relationships, which in turn affects your entire life. Your only way to truly be happy is to change your way of thinking into a better way of thinking.

I’m sure most of us don’t even realize where our views towards guys and relationships came from. And in reality, these views have been formed over time from either (a) experiences, or (b) what you’ve perceived in other people or the media. The problem with this is that the assumptions and views we have latched onto aren’t always the correct view. Sometimes we see an event happen and we don’t know the whole story, so we fill in the missing pieces with our perceptions. We just kind of make up our own equation to tell a story that we think make sense. For example, a young teenage girl might see another girl dressed in a really skimpy outfit. She also notices that guys talk to this girl more then they talk to her. So she puts A and B together and gets the equation, If I want guys to like me, I have to dress in really revealing clothes.

So all of a sudden, because she sees this one small event, this has changed her view of guys and herself. From now on, she’s likely to wear revealing clothes so guys will like her. Now is this true? Do you need to flash a ton of skin to get the attention of guys? Absolutely not! And coming from a good guy, it actually does the opposite. I wouldn’t go for a girl who chooses to dress like that. But let’s be honest—will dressing slutty get you attention? Absolutely! There will always be shallow guys who just see girls as a body. So if you dress revealing, of course guys are going to notice how much skin you are showing. But that doesn’t mean they like you, they just like the fact that you’re giving them a free show. But don’t fall into the same thinking as the young girl by thinking the guy likes you. He doesn’t like you, he just likes the fact that you’re showing skin.

This type of mindset doesn’t just affect teenage girls, but women in their twenties and thirties, too. If you ever browse profiles on MySpace or Facebook, you’ll see profile picture after profile picture of girls trying to attract guys with provocative pictures. If you’ve ever walked anywhere during the summer, you’ll notice girls who think that by wearing revealing clothes or swimsuits, guys will like them.

The first part of becoming a more desirable woman is changing your way of thinking. You’ll see as I give you examples about how we view certain aspects of our life, it affect everything in our life. I truly, truly hope that you don’t just immediately dismiss any of these ideas in this book as we go along, because there’s a lifetime of wisdom here. Let it help transform your own life. It starts with some key realizations.

Realization #1: True love exists

By now, you’ve come to realize that everything isn’t always the way it appears on television. From when you were a small girl, you’ve seen countless movies and cartoons, and read many books where beautiful women are always swept off their feet by a Prince Charming. The story ends as they ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after. But from the moment you stepped into junior high, you found out that guys are insensitive, immature, and goofy. Then came high school, where guys showed the capacity to be truly cruel jerks. And then there’s college, where you realized guys are selfish, liars and only want sex.

Not Mr. Right material at all!

With any relationship that you’ve had, chances are there were lots of fights or arguments, many broken hearts and probably lots of nights crying yourself to sleep. And all of this is while you’re still in the relationship, before the breakup even happens. There’s a good chance that you’ve had a few relationships that ended rocky, maybe with a big fight where many hurtful things were said (or literally thrown!). Or perhaps you found out about him being unfaithful to you, and that led to the inevitable demise of your relationship, followed by too many nights of crying yourself to sleep. Each time this happens, the doubt increases: is there really true love?

With every heartbreak, the cloud of doubt begins to cast a shadow on your dreams you once had.

Too many girls give up on this dream they once had as a small girl to find and marry their own Prince Charming or Mr. Right, a.k.a. the elusive good guy. Their dreams are crushed as they grow older and realize that the fairy tale they used to believe in just doesn’t mesh with real life. So they settle for a guy who isn’t right for them. They put up with bad behavior and insensitivity that they shouldn’t have to put up with, and they get divorced, or end up being endlessly unhappy in a dead-end marriage. Nearly 50% of marriages in America end in divorce, and that doesn’t even include all the people who are unhappy but stick it out. Now I know that doesn’t really give you a lot of hope. In fact, it probably deflates any hope you had. But don’t worry, we’ll fix that.

So what is true love?

What is true love? Does it really exist, or is it just some cliché that makes for a good story and good movies? True love means a variety of different things depending on who you ask. If you ask a woman who’s been hurt a lot, or gone through relationship problem after relationship problem, her answer would probably be, No freakin’ way! But if you ask a couple who’s been happily married for 40 years, their answer would be, Yes, it absolutely DOES exist. True love is one of those things that’s a little hard to define. You can see instances of it, but to nail it down with words? A tough task. It’s a lot easier to give you examples and characteristics of what true love is and isn’t.

What true love ISN’T

Love isn’t just the words you say to someone. True love isn’t a feeling or emotion. You hear young teenagers often say, We are so in love. I know you don’t think it’s possible for people so young to be in love, but we are. And the adults roll their eyes. Although it’s true that chances are those young people haven’t found true love, they’ll have many more relationships as they go through high school and college before settling down, so they might someday. But that makes me wonder if WE know what true love really is.

I hear all the time that love is an emotion—that it’s how we feel towards someone. But there’s a problem with this definition.

Many of us claim to have been in love at one point. So what changes that we don’t love that person anymore? One thing that I’ve learned in life: we are creatures of emotion. Our mood and emotions can be affected by the weather, what we eat, what someone says to us, what we see on television, or any of a million small things. Love isn’t an emotion or how you feel about someone. It’s much, much more than that.

Is there such thing as love at first sight?

It’s an intriguing, hopeful idea, and we all wish it would happen to us, but it’s a fairy tale. It’d be nice to run into someone and know that this was the person to get married to and live happily ever after with. The problem is that you can’t love someone that you don’t even know anything about. It defies the whole definition of what love is. The person can be an axe-murder, a sex offender, a thief, an abuser. They could go totally against everything you believe in. And part of love is accepting the faults and flaws of someone and loving them anyway. But you simply can’t love someone you don’t know. Sure the person can be attractive and have kind eyes or a loving smile, but that’s just a physical attraction, nothing more.

What true love really IS

Love is an action. You can say I love you! to someone all you want and feel like you love them, but if there’s no action behind it, then it’s meaningless. Love is knowing everything about that person, and accepting them and loving them anyway. Love is a commitment. It is saying I will be there for you no matter what. It’s not saying I do, UNTIL something better comes along, or UNTIL I no longer feel like it. It's a commitment that lasts forever, through thick or thin. There is never a Plan B or What if . . . . True love endures through any and every circumstance. It’s you being willing to give up your life for them, whether that means by taking a bullet or by the small things in your daily life, such as giving up something that displeases them. True love is a life decision, a daily decision, an every-second decision. It’s putting your partner first in everything. True love is a two-way street, where both parties meet more than halfway to solve a problem. True love is being patient in everything. It is being unselfish in everything you do. True love keeps no record of being wronged. It is forgiveness. True love never gives up.

This is why I believe that you can’t truly love two people at the same time. You might have feelings for two people, but you can’t really love both of them because love is an unselfish dedication to one person and willing to give them everything. True love is more than words, more than a feeling, more than an action, more than a lifestyle.

True love is LIFE.

Realization #2: There is a Mr. Right for You

He does exist. Of course, chances are that your story probably won’t end up like a fairy tale where a prince on horseback sweeps you off of your feet and takes you away to his castle. But this doesn’t mean you can’t find a guy who’ll make you happy. Life is never perfect, and it’s unrealistic to expect that marriage will be much different. You won’t find a guy who’s perfect, just like you’ll never be perfect. We’re all human, which means that we have faults and make mistakes. But you can find someone who’ll