New Never News: #1 Source of F***ed Up Fairy Tale News

By J.A. Kazimer

If you enjoy the Onion, you will love the New Never News. It brings all your favorite fairy tales together in a very f***ed up way.

From the author of the award winning of the F***ed Up Fairy Tale series (CURSES! & Froggy Style), comes the New Never News, the kingdom's best source of fairy tale news.

News reports include:

Agoraphobic Piggy Killed in Wolf Force Winds

Dwarfs Arrested After Short Fight

Tuffet Use On the Rise

John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt Changes His Name

• Language: English
• Publisher: J.A. Kazimer
• Release date: Apr 4, 2012
• ISBN: 9781476018409

J.A. Kazimer

J.A. (Julie) Kazimer lives in Denver, CO. When she isn't looking for a place to hide the bodies, she spends her time with a pup named Killer. Other hobbies include murdering houseplants. She spent a few years as a bartender and then wasted another few years stalking people while working as a private investigator before transitioning to the moniker of WRITER. Visit her website at jakazimer.com. Connect with her on Twitter and Facebook.

Book preview

New Never News

Your 1# Source for Celebrity Fairy Tale News

J.A. Kazimer

Published by Obscure Publishing

Copyright 2015 J.A. Kazimer

Smashwords Edition

New Never News is a series of satirical news reports based off the award winning novels, CURSES! A F***ed Up Fairy Tale, Froggy Style & The Fairyland Murders by J.A. Kazimer.

About the Author

Excerpt of CURSES!

J

tmp_9762e4bf4d1937957bade54aaa313295_6L7jY3_html_29b24088.jpg

oin J.A. Kazimer’s Readers’ Group and receive a free ebook

tmp_9762e4bf4d1937957bade54aaa313295_6L7jY3_html_43251a6b.png

Villainous Union Repeals Don't Ask, Please, Please, Please Don't Tell

The Villainous Union has repealed the Don't Ask, Please, Please, Please Don't Tell policy that barred gay henchmen from serving in the union in a 7 - 3 vote. In protest of this bold action, heroes everywhere are vowing to stop wearing tights, and instead, will only wear skinny jeans. President Ogre refused to comment, other than to say, Ask not what you can do for your country. Just do it.

Old Women Arrested in Child Labor Sting. Shoe Confiscated.

Hard times for all, but especially in the Kingdom of Tremaine, where the Old Woman Who Lives in a Shoe was recently arrested in a child labor sting. She is accused of using child labor to weave knock off handbags in her Shoe. Authorities quickly confiscated the Shoe, leaving the Old Woman and her brood of kids with one option, move into section swamp housing.

When asked the woman responded, I just don't know what to do!

Obituary for This Little Piggy

A sad day for the Little Piggy Family as the eldest and biggest piggy succumbed to salmonella poisoning after eating some tainted roast beef. This Little Piggy was best known for his skill at marketing. He will be missed.

In other news