Chasing a Diagnosis: A Reckoning with Bipolar II Disorder
5/5
()
About this ebook
Originally diagnosed as having major depressive disorder, it took 28 years of searching to finally get diagnosed correctly as suffering from bipolar II disorder. This journey took me through years of med changes, several mental hospitalizations, shock therapy and many more tribulations. It is my hope that my story will encourage others to look at all possible solutions to their depression. My depression didn't get better until I found the correct diagnosis.
Susan Turnbull
Currently I live in Washington State with my husband, Rod and two daughters. My hobbies include stained glass, writing and watching basketball.
Related to Chasing a Diagnosis
Related ebooks
Being Bipolar Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Derailed on the Bipolar Express Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5I'm Not Crazy Just Bipolar Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBipolar Type 2: Creating The RIGHT Bipolar Diet & Nutritional Plan Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5Surviving and Thriving with Bipolar Disorder: Tips from a Survivor Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Got Bipolar?: An Insider's Guide to Managing Life Effectively Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsUnderstanding Bipolar Disorder: Easing Confusion, Improving Life. Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Bipolar Disorder :Am I Bipolar ? How Bipolar Quiz & Tests Reveal The Answers Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Living Bipolar Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Other Side of Mind: A Journey Through Bipolar Disorder Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSomewhere Over the Rainbow, I've Lost My Damn Mind: A Manic's Mood Chart Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMarrying Bipolar: The Highs And Lows Of Loving Someone With A Mental Illness Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Bipolar Disorder Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMore Than Bipolar: A Memoir of Acceptance and Hope Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsLiving With Someone Who's Living With Bipolar Disorder: A Practical Guide for Family, Friends, and Coworkers Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5My Bipolar Backpack Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsLetters From A Bipolar Mother Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Bipolar Me Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsOwning Bipolar: How Patients and Families Can Take Control of Bipolar Disorder Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Prozac Monologues: A Voice from the Edge Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsToo Bright to Hear Too Loud to See: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Reality of Bipolar Disorder: My Story of Faith, Strength, and Hope Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWelcome to the Jungle: Everything You Wanted to Know about Bipolar But Were Too Freaked Out to Ask Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Bipolar Disorder: The Ultimate Guide Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Bipolar Relationship: How to understand, help, and love your partner Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsPerfect Chaos: A Daughter's Journey to Survive Bipolar, a Mother's Struggle to Save Her Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Coping with the Ups and Downs of Bipolar Disorder Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDepression and Bipolar Disorder: Your Guide to Recovery Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Welcome to the Jungle: Facing Bipolar Without Freaking Out Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5And Then I Was Bipolar: Reflections on Viewing Life Through A Skewed Lens Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Psychology For You
How to Win Friends and Influence People: Updated For the Next Generation of Leaders Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5101 Fun Personality Quizzes: Who Are You . . . Really?! Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Source: The Secrets of the Universe, the Science of the Brain Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Art of Letting Go: Stop Overthinking, Stop Negative Spirals, and Find Emotional Freedom Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Your Brain's Not Broken: Strategies for Navigating Your Emotions and Life with ADHD Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist: The Narcissism Series, #1 Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Art of Witty Banter: Be Clever, Quick, & Magnetic Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, HER Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Self-Care for People with ADHD: 100+ Ways to Recharge, De-Stress, and Prioritize You! Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Becoming Bulletproof: Protect Yourself, Read People, Influence Situations, and Live Fearlessly Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5ADHD: A Hunter in a Farmer's World Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5What Every BODY is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Speed-Reading People Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Winning the War in Your Mind Workbook: Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5What Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5How to Keep House While Drowning: A Gentle Approach to Cleaning and Organizing Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Denial of Death Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Personality Types: Using the Enneagram for Self-Discovery Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Verbal Judo, Second Edition: The Gentle Art of Persuasion Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Anxious for Nothing: Finding Calm in a Chaotic World Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Reviews for Chasing a Diagnosis
1 rating0 reviews
Book preview
Chasing a Diagnosis - Susan Turnbull
Chasing a Diagnosis
A Reckoning with Bipolar II Disorder
Susan Turnbull
Copyright © 2012 by Susan Turnbull
Smashwords edition
Contents
Chapter One: A Good Start
Chapter Two: The Feeling
1980
Chapter Three: High School 1980-84
Chapter Four: The College Years 1984-1988
Chapter Five: Indio, California 1988
Chapter Six: Volunteering: 1988-89
Chapter Seven: A Real Job: 1990
Chapter Eight: Starting to Live/Daughter #1: 1991
Chapter Nine: Lynden WA/Daughter #2: 1996
Chapter Ten: Friday Harbor: 2002
Chapter Eleven: 1st Hospitalization: 2004
Chapter Twelve: 2nd/3rd Hospitalizations: 2005
Chapter Thirteen: 4th Hospitalization: 2005
Chapter Fourteen: 5th hospitalization and Amen Clinic: 2005
Chapter Fifteen: Finding rTMS: 2005
Chapter Sixteen: Discovering Deep Brain Stimulation: 2006
Chapter Seventeen: Meeting Dr. Greenberg: 2006
Chapter Eighteen: Dr. Stevens: 2007
Chapter Nineteen: Finding Mary Ellen O’Keefe: 2007
Chapter Twenty: Meeting Mary Ellen O’Keefe: 2007
Chapter Twenty-one: Kay Jamison: 2008
Chapter Twenty –two: Bipolar II disorder: 2008
Chapter Twenty-three: New feelings: 2008
Chapter Twenty-four: The Calm after the Storm
Chapter 1
A Good Start
My upbringing was fairly ordinary, to a point. I was born in Spokane Washington in May of 1966. I was the second oldest of five children with both a mother & a father in the home. My older sister is 2 years older than me, a set of twins (Jack & Teresa) 4 years younger than me, and Michele, 5 years younger. My mother worked outside of the home as a nurse and my father was an accountant. They were hard workers and life was busy but good. We lived there until I was 9 years old then moved to the San Juan Islands.
In the summer of 1976 I was 10 years old and we moved to Friday Harbor Washington. Just off the coast of Washington, The San Juan Islands are located in the Straights of Juan de Fuca. Friday Harbor was a great little town with a population of about 4000 back then. Everyone knew everyone. I was just starting the 4th grade and was a happy kid. I made friends rather easily and fit in fine. We first lived in town then moved onto a property out of town. We were close to beaches and so spent a lot of time beachcombing. Because our family was so big, there was always someone to play with.
In 1978 my parents built a bar and began a new venture in their lives. Mom & Dad worked long hours at the tavern and so relied on my older sister and me to watch my younger siblings. I took mothering them seriously; it was just my personality. In the spring of 1979 Mom and Dad surprised us with the news that we were moving onto a sailboat in Florida. Neither Dad nor Mom had ever sailed before but they had read and studied sailing, navigating and charting the Caribbean, and were excited to embark on this new adventure. The plan was to tour the Caribbean, go through the Panama Canal, sail up the West Coast and end back in Friday Harbor. So in June of 1979 my parents bought a rather over-sized wooden sailboat and once school let out for the summer we headed to Fort Lauderdale, Florida. We drove from Washington State to Kansas City Missouri where my grandparents lived. We stayed with them while my parents drove on to Ft. Lauderdale to get the boat ready. We then followed by airplane two weeks later.
The trip was wonderful. That year we cruised through the Bahamas, Haiti, Dominican Republic, Puerto Rico and the Virgin islands. We all were enrolled in correspondence courses; Anne was in tenth grade, I was in eighth, the twins in fourth grade and Michele was in third. We had so many adventures and stopped many interesting places along the way. The Bahamas were amazing as were the Dominican Republic, Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands. We were quite an anomaly as you can imagine; five children living on a wooden boat, traveling to remote ports around the Caribbean. It was an amazing trip.
However, the year was not without problems. It turned out that the boat had a lot of mechanical issues and we didn’t go as fast or as far as we had originally planned. We spent three months in Samana, Dominican Republic, and six months in St. Thomas, Virgin Island. We met many people during this time and enjoyed running into them again and again along the way. In May of 1980 we had the boat hauled out at Isletta Marina, a shipyard in Puerto Rico. The plan was to clean the hull and remodel the inside and then proceed to travel through the Panama Canal and up the West Coast to Friday Harbor. However, in the world of boating nothing was easy. When we hauled the boat out of the water, the hull turned out to be rotten and it was going to take a lot of time and money than we first thought to get the boat ready for our next trip. With this new information Mom & Dad had to make a decision: keep renovating the boat or head back to Friday Harbor and decide what to do then. It was at this stage of my life that I experienced the most dreadful, awful, overwhelming feeling that I would deal with for the next 30 years.
Chapter 2
Cue The Feeling
1980
I couldn’t sit still and I was sobbing uncontrollably. All I could do was rock back and forth in the deck chair. I felt a horrible tightness in the pit of my stomach, feeling as if I could crawl right out of my skin. The anxiety was so bad that I could barely stand it. I felt such utter and deep despair and the circular thoughts would not stop. Over and over the same thoughts kept sloshing around in my head. The thoughts were all so negative, all so guilt ridden. Why was I feeling this way, what was happening to me? I was miserable and scared to death that I was going to die. It was very late