Listening To Dust

By Brandon Shire

Murder touched Stephen Dobbins when he was a young boy and left him living in a void of aching loneliness. A chance meeting with a young American chased away the fear that he would always be alone and brought him the prospect of a new existence.

Dustin Earl joined the military and escaped his small town Southern upbringing with the hope that he could give his mentally challenged brother a better life. But Dustin had never known real love, an honest hug, or a simple kiss. He considered his sexuality a weakness; a threat that had been used against those he cared about.

For eight months their relationship blossomed until Dustin suddenly returned home. He cherished Stephen, but felt his responsibilities to his brother outweighed his own chance at happiness.

Shattered, unable to function and unwilling to accept Dustin’s departure, Stephen flew three thousand miles to get Dustin back and rekindle what they had. But what he would learn when he got there... he could never have imagined.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Brandon Shire
• Release date: Mar 12, 2012
• ISBN: 9781452472270

Brandon Shire

Great stories should not depend on gender or sexual preference of a character, but instead upon the strength of the characters and the honesty and urgency of the story.Brandon Shire proves he understands the complexity of writing LGBT fiction from two very different viewpoints – serious and smexy. His serious fiction is written for those who enjoy a book which explores life’s darker elements in a more literary form, while the smexy fiction is for those who enjoy a graphically erotic romance.Regardless of the differentiation above, Brandon writes for people who enjoy being challenged, and for those who strive to understand situations they don’t typically encounter. He pens raw, emotional stories about characters which readers will either love or love to hate.Life and love are pretty damned special, but neither is always perfect. Life can be painful, and real love hard to find. Brandon’s fiction is an exploration of the (sometimes) arduous search for the happiness we all desire.BRANDON SHIRE was chosen as a Top Read in 2011, Best in LGBTQ Fiction for 2011 & 2012, and won a Rainbow Award for Best Gay Contemporary Fiction.

Book preview

Listening To Dust

By Brandon Shire

What are readers saying?

Brandon Shire’s debut book The Value of Rain was chosen as:

‘Best in LGBTQ Fiction for 2011’ – Indie Reviews

‘Best Read of 2011’ – The Reading Life

Brandon Shire seizes your heart and does not let go.

"Shire shows what an intense author he is; unafraid to paint vivid pictures for his readers. I devoured his book in a few hours."

"Brandon Shire will not allow you to escape from the life that he has written."

"Brandon Shire gives us a story that no one will forget..."

Listening To Dust

By Brandon Shire

SMASHWORDS EDITION

Copyright 2012 Brandon Shire

Cover Photo Credit: Justyna Furmanczyk

All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the below publisher of this book. This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, people, places, schools, media, incidents and events are either a product of the author’s imagination, or are used fictitiously.

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

ISBN: 978-1-4524-7227-0

For R.H. who will never, ever be forgotten.

Special thanks go to:

David P. for his persistence, his aid, and his friendship,

and all the readers who demanded more.

Thank you.

Love is so short, and forgetting is so long.

-Pablo Neruda

Behind every exquisite thing there is something tragic.

-Oscar Wilde

I am listening to dust: your letters

don’t speak anymore. Faith has slammed shut.

The dead go in and out so skillfully,

while the bed grows wider and emptier

under a grey leaven. A sunflower tells me

everything as it blooms, as you turn

to kiss me at the edge of the forest.

Forget me. It’s a small request.

In the Margins

Elizabeth Rosner

Chapter 1

The Diner

"Dusty must have heard the truck idling in the yard and stood just inside that dirty old screen of his looking at Pa. That’s Stewart, he’s our pa. Dusty ever tell you about him? Not much, huh? Well, Stewart didn’t much like me or Dusty none, no way. We weren’t enough like Drew who was smart, but dead.

"Pa would’ve been looking for me that morning because we was supposed to go over to Brenan and pick up a new stud colt.

"‘You seen the dummy?’ That’s what he would’ve asked Dusty because that’s what he calls me, the dummy. It’s not that I ain’t smart, it’s just that....well, since that lightning struck me I see things a little different, least that’s how Dusty explained it.

Dusty didn’t like Pa calling me the dummy though, none at all. He’d get mad every time he heard it. They were always fussing about how Pa talked to me, and then Dusty would start up again about him wanting me to move into his trailer, but I always kept saying no and then me and Dusty would get to fussing. Couldn’t just leave my pa by himself, now could I?

Stephen Dobbins nodded, at a complete loss for words. Their conversation was an unorganized blur and his mind was simply a disjointed ruin built of passion, memories and utter devastation. He had come three thousand miles to get back the only man he had ever loved, only to find that he had been murdered.

He had no idea what to say to Robbie, or even why he was in the diner with him. He was just running on a desolate impulse, a momentum of blank white anguish that he could not find the edges of.

Anyway, Dusty would’ve got mad at Pa for calling me the dummy, like he always did; and they would’ve had words, like they always did... Robbie stopped with a thoughtful pause. You know, I think they were both about as thick headed as me when they got to setting their minds to it.

He shrugged and continued. "I’m guessing I called right after Pa left because Dusty’s voice was real tight. It got that way when Pa was looking for me, like Dusty was straining to keep himself civil. Plus, I heard him rubbing that big scar on his chest before he told me it would take him ten minutes to get out to the round house to pick me up.

I thought about sleeping out there that night, but one of the new switchmen would’ve found me and told old Hoight about it, and then Hoight would’ve wanted to call the boys together to go visit Pa again. A slight frown clouded his face. "Turned out I had to tell Hoight not to anyway ‘cause Dusty thought he was being all smart alecky when he picked me up. He slowed the truck down so Hoight could get a good look at my shiner before we left.

It weren’t nothing worse than usual, but folks ‘round here makes an art of turning a molehill into a mountain with all their gossiping. He shrugged as if Stephen had asked him for details. I dropped supper the night before and Pa’s temper got the best of him. He had a go at me, and well, a man just can’t be hitting back on his pa.

Robbie sighed, the weight of the world on his big shoulders. After I got done fussing with Hoight, Dusty started in on me about going to live at his place again, tried to bribe me, he added with a small smile. Said he was gonna buy another engine for my train collection.

Hey! Maybe I can show it to you sometime. I got thirty feet of track in Dusty’s trailer with four different trains. I got grain hoppers, and switch units, and road units. I even got a covered wagon. See the switchyard’s in the bedroom.... His voice trailed off suddenly and his excitement with it. He looked down at the table and sipped the last of his cherry coke. Another was put in front of him in the midst of his silence without either Robbie or Stephen asking for it.

Guess there won’t be no big-holing for me no more, he said quietly and looked up at Stephen. Could you do me a favor and give my train set to Danny Talbot? He likes it something fierce. Me and him use to flip over who was gonna be trainmaster. He lives about a mile from Dusty’s place with his momma.

He fell silent a moment. Boy, I’m hungry, he said as he craned his neck toward the little window that looked into the diner’s kitchen. A thin, bulbous-nosed man stood beyond it cooking up a small storm. The man looked up, saw Robbie, and waved before he held up a finger to indicate that it would be a minute because of the crowd. Robbie nodded, smiled, and waved back before he turned to Stephen again.

That’s Mac. I use to come down here on Thursday mornings to help him unload the truck from Atlanta. Jeanie, that’s our waitress, she used to make me up a big cup of cocoa with extra whipped cream, and Mac make would me my own special omelet. He leaned forward. Potato omelet. He slices them real thin and fries them up while I put the stuff in the cellar. Got this fancy French name for the way he cuts the potatoes, but I just like eating it. And the mug, it’s got my name on it, all official like. My own mug right here in Melvin’s. He smiled. Ain’t that something?

Mac tried to pay me once, but I wouldn’t let him, Robbie continued blithely. No one else makes me that omelet. ‘Sides, he’s too old to be toting all that heavy stuff down there. He’s always going on about his bones and such…

A look of curiosity ran across Robbie’s face. I wonder who’s helping him now. ‘Member me to ask Jeanie when she comes back. I’d feel god-awful thinking he had to tote all that by himself. Course, if he didn’t spend so much time at Brett’s his bones might not get to aching so much in the morning as they do.

He looked at Stephen quickly, like a small child caught with some intimate parental knowledge that he should have tucked away and not spoken about. Don’t tell him I said that, will you?

Stephen shook his head. Uh, no, I won’t say anything.

"Good. Do

Reviews for Listening To Dust

[Estarianne · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

He has an amazing ability to shape words into feelings. Another of his heart wrenchers, and among my favorites. This is a dual timeline- present day, when Stephen is learning about what happened to Dustin, and flashbacks to their relationship. As the two timelines develop, the sense of tragedy builds. Themes of severe childhood trauma are frequent in his books, and this one is filled with it.

[bibrarybookslut · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Brandon Shire has done it again with another moving tale of humanity, one that doesn't ignore the warts and the scars that come from a lifetime of difficult choices and even more difficult experiences. Listening To Dust is not a happily-ever-after romance, but it is a moving tale about the power (and the obligations) of love.

This is really the story of three young men, all of whom have lost something, and who are tied to one another because of it. Stephen lost his parents almost immediately after being caught in a compromising position with another boy. Already the subject of taunts and threats, it's no wonder he hates himself for what's happened. Dustin is a rape victim, abused by his alcoholic father, who inadvertently destroyed his brother's life in an attempt to save him from the same fate. Already self-loathing, it's no surprise he heaps an impossible load of guilt upon that hatred. Robbie is that damaged brother, the boy who brings them together . . . and who unknowingly drives them apart.

I'll be brutally honest. This was a book that made me angry, and which made me sad. I cried over some parts of it, and had to restrain myself from throwing my e-reader across the room over others. That's not a criticism of Brandon's writing, rather it's a mark of just how deeply he got under my skin. This is a man who knows how to build a character in your mind, and how to exploit a situation for the maximum possible emotional and intellectual impact.

Brandon doesn't sugar coat his story, and doesn't shy away from the ugliness of words. Politically incorrect as they are, he understands the power that words like "dummy" have on a person, and he forces us to experience that power. He may not give his characters the ending we'd like to see, but it's clear he cares for them, and will fight for their acceptance. They're not perfect by any means, but he never allows their flaws to justify their treatment by society.

A tough read, but a beautiful one, this is another example of Brandon's literary brilliance. I always feel empty and exhausted after reading one of his books, finding myself suddenly free of the walls I didn't even realize he'd built around me. Don't let me scare you away from giving him a read, though - he may challenge you and leave you broken-hearted, but he'll also win you over with the power of his storytelling.


As published on Bending the Bookshelf

[arlenadean · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Author: Brandon ShirePublished by: TPG BooksAge Recommend: AdultReviewed By: Arlena DeanRaven Rating5Blog Review For: GMTAReview:"Listening to Dust by Brandon Shire was a very sad fiction for me. I don't read many gay books however, this title caught my interest and I am glad I did read it. The novel was definitely one that was of "love, hate, loss, passion, compassion and much pain." The author was excellent at telling this story that will grab you from the very beginning till the end. I found that as a read this novel, I was left believing that this really happens in real life. You will be left wanting more if there could be any more....WoW! In the novel..."Listening to Dust" you will find two young from different backgrounds...that are brought together and then torn apart. With Stephen his parents had been murdered and he meets Dustin who was a drunk American soldier with a troubled pass... and love is found by these two men, but is torn away due to the fact that Dustin has to go back home to see to his younger brother.How this all of this is played out is a work of art by this author ... after a year Stephens finally comes to America in search of Dustin...and he wasn't prepared to what he found...Was it too late? Now, you will have to pick up this excellent read and find out the conclusion and don't be surprised just how it all turns out.... because "nothing is perfect, not even love." I found "Listening to Dust" was a excellent read that I would recommend.