The Gnomes That Time Forgot

By Mike Sealey

Take a trip on the far side and ride through this brief history of gnomes. Fifteen illustrated profiles of gnomes that shook the world; infamous only through the delusions of others. From the prehistoric Zog the Rudimentary to the Black Hole of Otto you will discover the astonishing 'truth' of how gnomic perception has influenced the course of history and muddled the lives of men. Be prepared to believe the unbelievable and brighten up your day.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Mike Sealey
• Release date: Mar 11, 2012
• ISBN: 9781476278087

Mike Sealey

Mike Sealey has lived in Spain since 1991. He works as a writer and translator. His articles and short stories have been published in English and Spanish periodicals and his translation work ranges from: guide books to the famous Peñon d'Ifach, Calpe - Spain's famous National Park, Amazonian herbal remedies, the use of phsyco-kinetics in therapy, tourist information and commercial websites and literature. He is married with two sons and a daughter and has Wire-haired Retriever named Max.

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THE GNOMES THAT TIME FORGOT

By: Mike Sealey

Copyright Mike Sealey 2012

Published at Smashwords by Mike Sealey

CONTENTS

Zog the Rudimentary

Beowulf the Unpleasing

Wittgorm of Camelot

Uffa the Unwitting

The Spirit of Cyril

The Gnome That Never Was

Derek the Unstill

Duff the Deceiver

Glen the Ecological

Kevin the Enigma

Anthony the Undestined

Gertrude the Unsupported

Eamon the Abducted

GNO-3ME

The Black Hole of Otto

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ZOG THE RUDIMENTARY

When Zog the Rudimentary was discovered by Somerset pot-holer Eric Dobbs, the archaeological world was stunned by its first complete example of prehistoric gnome.

‘I spotted him in a cave,’ reported Dobbs, ‘At first I thought it was just another stalagmite.’closer inspection with his lamp however revealed the distinct features of a nose and a mouth.

‘You can imagine my excitement,’ recorded Eric in his chronicles, ‘when I scraped at its upper protrusion and discovered it not to be a calcium encrustation but a pointed hat.’

Museum experts were divided as to Zog’s authenticity and intense academic furore led it to be declared variously as the greatest archaeological discovery of our time, to a hoax that rivalled the discovery of Piltdown Man. The controversy raged unabated until Zog was overshadowed by the finding of Tutankhamen’s tomb and Zog was confined to a cardboard box in the basement of the British Museum.

The Zog conundrum remained unresolved until 1964 when two simultaneous discoveries re-ignited interest in the case. Firstly, the result of three years painstaking excavation work revealed the remains of a Neolithic garden centre in Glastonbury. Secondly, in the Mendip Hills, speleologists came upon primitive cave paintings in which the likeness of Zog is depicted wielding a spear.

The theory of ‘hunting gnome’ was initially dismissed as unlikely,