To Have And To Hold

By Ruth Ann Nordin

In Eye of the Beholder, Mary Larson left Maine for a new life in Nebraska, a new life that almost ended at the train station if not for Dave Larson. Six years later in To Have and To Hold, Mary's journey continues. All her dreams for marriage and children have come true, and she couldn't be happier, until a fateful accident erases her memory...

Now she has to adjust to life as the wife of Dave Larson and mother to Isaac and Rachel. When news of her father’s impending death comes from Maine, Dave suggests they travel to her hometown in an effort to help her recover her memories.

In Maine, Mary will come face to face with the family she left behind. Will her love for Dave be enough to overcome the unpleasant aspects of her past, or will past insecurities keep her from regaining her former happiness?

*This historical western romance is rated R.

**To Have and To Hold is Dave and Mary Larson's second romance. Their first is Eye of the Beholder.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Ruth Ann Nordin
• Release date: Feb 17, 2012
• ISBN: 9781465874382

Ruth Ann Nordin

Ruth Ann Nordin has written almost 100 romances, ranging from Regencies to historical westerns to contemporaries. She plays with other genres from time to time, but her first love is romance. She has been happily married for twenty-two years to a sweet and funny guy, and they have four sons, who are all taller than Ruth now that they're 16, 17, 19, and 20. The good thing is she doesn't need a ladder. She considers herself very lucky to have led such a charmed life. Being able to play with characters and create stories is just icing on the cake. Hopefully, she'll get to keep doing this many years to come.

Book preview

Nebraska Series: Book 7

To Have

and

To Hold

Ruth Ann Nordin

To Have and To Hold

Published by Ruth Ann Nordin

Copyright © 2012 by Ruth Ann Nordin

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Cover Photo images Dreamstime. www.dreamstime.com All rights reserved – used with permission.

Cover made by Dara England at http://mycoverart.wordpress.com/.

Table of Contents

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter Twenty-Four

Chapter Twenty-Five

Chapter Twenty-Six

Books Featuring the Larsons

All Books by Ruth Ann Nordin

Where to Find Ruth

Dedicated to Mary McCall who’s always had an encouraging word for me. Thank you, Mary!

Chapter One

Omaha, Nebraska

July 1880

Mary Larson smiled at her husband who brushed a stray strand of hair from her face. It never failed to thrill her every time he looked at her the way he was now, as if she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.

Dave’s gray eyes twinkled and he scooted closer to her on the porch swing. I love you. You know that, don’t you? he murmured as he slipped his arm around her shoulders.

You must if you’d take a break from working just to tell me that, she replied, her voice hinting the pleasure she felt that he’d do such a thing from time to time.

Their four-year-old son Isaac was chasing a frog that hopped across the grass, and their daughter Rachel was taking a nap. So for the moment, they were alone. Mary leaned into Dave and, seeing the kiss coming, she closed her eyes in anticipation.

He cupped the side of her face with his hand and his lips caressed hers. Content, she responded to his kiss and the rest of the world slipped away. This year marked their sixth year of marriage, but the time had passed so fast, it seemed like it was only yesterday when she came out to Nebraska and he found her at the train station. She loved him from the moment he introduced himself and asked her to marry him. It was such an impulsive thing for him to do, but he said he knew she’d make him a good wife, and he’d struck her as the kind of man who’d treat her well. Little did she know how wonderful he’d be or that he’d even fall in love with her.

And now as he parted his lips and she responded in kind, her heart soared at the feel of his tongue as it interlaced with hers. In the time she’d lived in Nebraska, her past in Maine faded until it was as if it’d never happened, something she was eternally grateful to Dave for. It wasn’t that she didn’t miss her family from time to time, but she was so much happier here. Here, she was beautiful, loved, and cherished. Every morning when she woke up, she was thankful she’d taken the chance on being a mail-order bride.

When Dave’s mouth left hers, he left a trail of kisses across her cheek to her ear and down her neck. Her skin tingled with delight, and she wrapped her arms around his neck to pull him closer to her. He tightened his hold on her and brought his mouth back to hers where he was, once again, kissing her. But this time, there was no denying the desire simmering just below the surface.

She let out a soft moan, her body responding to him as easily as it always did when he touched and kissed her this way. Nothing was better than being swept up in his passionate embrace. As she was mentally counting down the hours to when the children would be asleep for the night so she and Dave could finally be alone in bed together, something tugged at the hem of her dress.

She ended the kiss and turned her gaze to Isaac who proudly showed her the frog he caught. Can I keep him?

No, honey, she said as she leaned forward to pat the frog on its head. He needs to be with his family.

He has a family? Isaac asked.

Sure, he does. He’s got a ma and pa and probably some brothers and sisters. He’d miss them if you kept him.

Dave rubbed her back and said, Or he might be a pa frog and miss his sons and daughters.

But you can play with him for a bit before you set him free, she added.

Looking up at her with blue eyes, Isaac asked, Can Rachel see him?

Not now. She’s asleep, she replied.

Mary noted his disappointment and brushed his dark blond locks. Dave’s hair was a tad lighter than their son’s, but anyone could tell by looking at them that they were father and son. Rachel was a little more like her with her blue-green eyes and round face, except Rachel inherited the Larson good looks, something Mary was grateful for.

I have an idea, Dave said as he stood up. Let’s go to the barn and see if we can find a box to put him in, and then when Rachel wakes up, she can see him. But after that, you need to let him go, alright?

Isaac’s face lit up and he nodded. Dave winked at Mary and then led their son to the barn. Chuckling as Isaac ran to keep up with his father, she remained on the swing for a little longer. The tree next to the porch gave her adequate shade this time of day. It was one of the things she requested when Dave said it was time to leave their sod house and build one made of lumber. Their new house was painted blue with white trim, something Mary had always fancied but never thought she’d live in. She glanced at Dave and Isaac who entered the barn. Their dog Jasper, who’d been resting by the barn door, got up and followed them in.

Closing her eyes, she enjoyed the summer breeze and swung back and forth for a couple minutes. When she heard Dave and Isaac, she opened her eyes and saw that they had left the barn with a happy Jasper who walked beside Isaac. Isaac held a box that was half his size and struggled with carrying it. His father reached down to help him, but he protested so Dave shrugged and waited for him to get a better grip on it. It was so cute to see how much Isaac wanted to be able to do the things his pa did.

With a sigh, she got up from the swing and peered through the open window so she could check the clock hanging on the wall. It was almost time to get Rachel up from her nap. Figuring it was a good idea to get started on dessert so she could put it in the oven to bake, she headed for the front door. As she did, a squirrel darted across the porch and Jasper bolted for it. She tried to get out of the way but lost her balance as the squirrel ran under her feet. She grabbed for the beam by the porch steps but missed and fell. The world around her tilted and her head hit something hard before everything went black.

***

Dave checked out the parlor window to make sure Isaac was staying on the porch before he turned back to Mary who remained unconscious on the couch. He went back to her side and gently lifted her head. There was a large bump but no bleeding. No bleeding was a good thing, right? It meant she was alright. Her breathing was normal and her skin color was good. So she was fine. She just had a bump. How many times had he or his brothers gotten a bump while growing up?

Gently setting her head back on the pillow, he heard Rachel fuss from upstairs. As much as he hated to leave Mary, he didn’t see how he had much of a choice. He hurried up the stairs and found the seventeen-month-old girl ready to climb out of her crib.

Oh no, you don’t, he kindly admonished as he stopped her.

He picked her up and realized she needed a new diaper. Frowning, he debated whether to wait until Mary woke up or take care of it himself. He’d never changed one before and didn’t exactly relish the opportunity to do so now. Mary should do it. She knew what she was doing. After he set Rachel down, he took her hand and led her down the stairs.

Want to see your ma? he asked her.

Ma. Cookie, she replied with a large smile on her face.

He chuckled. If Mary hadn’t been so skilled in the kitchen, then Rachel might not feel the need to mention food every time she spoke about her mother. But it was one of the things Mary was known for, so he couldn’t blame the little girl.

When they reached the parlor, he glanced out the open window where Isaac was showing Jasper the frog. Isaac, why don’t you bring that frog in here and show it to your sister? Hopefully, Rachel would be entertained enough with the frog so he could focus on Mary.

Yes, Pa, Isaac said and put the frog back into the box.

Dave strode to the storm door and opened it so Isaac could come into the house. Rachel, check out the frog Isaac caught.

Fog? Rachel asked from where she stood next to the table.

It’s a ‘frog’, Isaac said as he entered the parlor and set the box on the floor. And it’s in the box.

She peered into the box. Fog.

Isaac groaned. No. It’s frog. Fr… Say ‘fr…’

Looking at him, she said, Fog.

Amused, Dave turned back to Mary and tried to figure out what he should do. Maybe a cool, wet cloth would help her wake up. Glancing at his children who were touching the frog while Isaac continued his vain attempt to teach Rachel how to properly say the word, he headed for the kitchen. Once there, he found a dry washcloth and dipped it into the bucket of water resting on the worktable. When he returned to the parlor, he saw Mary’s eyelids flutter and eagerly sat on the table next to her. He wasn’t sure if he should put the cloth on her forehead or not, so he decided to wait and see if she needed it.

Mary? he softly asked as he took her hand and gave it a light squeeze.

She stirred and a sigh escaped her lips.

Ma? Rachel left the box and waddled over to Mary. She tapped her mother’s arm. Ma?

It’s alright, honey, Dave told his daughter. She’s waking up. We just need to be patient. He stroked the back of Mary’s hand with his thumb.

Holding the frog, Isaac walked over to them and leaned toward his mother. When will she wake up?

She’s waking up right now, Dave said. Put that frog back into the box. She doesn’t need that thing shoved in her face when she opens her eyes.

Isaac hurried to obey his father while Rachel tapped her mother’s arm again.

Rachel, I told you not to do that, he kindly admonished.

Why?

Because it’s rude to poke people.

Poe?

As he thought of how he could explain this to a one-year-old, Mary’s free hand went to her forehead and she groaned. He released her other hand and stopped Rachel from poking her mother a third time. Go see the frog. Your mother’s fine. She just needs some space, alright? Turning to Isaac, he added, Get your sister over to the box.

Isaac, who had put the frog back in the box, sighed but went over to her and led her away from their parents.

Relieved, Dave turned back to Mary and, noticing that she had removed her hand from her face, placed the cloth to her forehead.

She opened her eyes then and touched the cloth. Her eyebrows furrowed and she scanned the room.

How do you feel? he asked.

Her gaze went back to him and she frowned. Where am I?

In the parlor. You fell down the porch steps and went unconscious, so I brought you in here. Do you need anything? Can I get you a glass of water?

She swallowed and looked at their children who watched her even though they stayed by the box. I don’t understand…

You were on the porch, turned and fell down the steps. Jasper must have seen you trip or something because he ran over to you.

Jasper?

He let out a slight chuckle. Yes. He always seems to be watching over you, doesn’t he?

Who’s Jasper?

The chuckle died in his throat and he frowned. What do you mean ‘who’s Jasper’? He’s our dog.

Our dog? She struggled to sit up, so he got up from the table and helped her. When she placed the cloth in her lap, her eyes darted from him to Isaac and then to Rachel. I don’t see a dog.

He’s outside. He settled next to her and studied her. Mary, are you alright?

Blinking, her head snapped in his direction. Mary? Is that my name?

If she’d been the type to joke, he would have laughed, but the problem was, in all the time he’d known her, she wasn’t one to do such a thing. Concerned, he reached for her hand and held it. Though she didn’t resist his touch, she didn’t give him the familiar gentle squeeze he’d come to expect.

He glanced at their children. Do you know who they are?

She turned her gaze in their direction and slowly shook her head.

What about me? he whispered.

Darting a look at their hands which were clasped together, she said, No, but I think we’re close. Are we married?

Yes. Taking an uneasy breath, he carefully thought over his next question. Do you remember anything?

She bit her lower lip and scanned the room. After an uncomfortable moment, she sighed. No. All I remember is waking up here.

All he could do was stare at her and wonder how she couldn’t remember him or their children. They’d been such an important part of her life, and in one moment—just like that—she didn’t know who they were? Apprehensive, he glanced at the children who were unusually quiet as they watched her, probably understanding something was wrong but not knowing what.

We have to see the doctor, he finally decided and stood up.

Rachel walked over to her mother and held her arms up. Despite the uncertain expression on her face, Mary lifted her up and studied her daughter.

Wet, Rachel said.

What? Mary asked.

I think she means she needs a new diaper, Dave answered. Do you remember how to change a diaper? He certainly hoped so because he didn’t have the faintest idea, and realizing something was seriously wrong with her didn’t put him in the clearest of minds to attempt the task.

I know, Isaac said as he left the frog in the box and went over to them. I can tell you how, Ma.

Nodding, Mary got up from the couch, still holding her daughter. What’s your name?

Dave winced but didn’t interrupt as Isaac answered her.

Alright, Isaac. She shifted Rachel to her other arm and cleared her throat. Where are the clean diapers?

As Isaac led Mary up the stairs, Dave stood still for a moment. How could this be happening? All Mary had was a fall. It shouldn’t have been serious. It was just a bump on the head. There wasn’t even any blood. He rubbed his eyes and tried to figure out what to do. The doctor. He’d just said they needed to go see the doctor. He wasn’t thinking clearly. It wasn’t like him to get distracted like that, but it hurt to watch Mary look at him and their children as if she’d never seen them before. And she looked so scared.

Releasing his breath, he decided while Mary was upstairs taking care of Rachel, he’d better get the wagon ready to take into town. The sooner he saw the doctor, the sooner he’d start getting some answers.

Chapter Two

Dave sat by Mary in the small room while they waited for the doctor to return from running an errand. Isaac and Rachel, who’d grown bored, were starting to fight with each other. He glanced at Mary who usually knew how to calm them down, but all she could do was stare at them.

His brother Joel entered the building, carrying his medical bag. He paused in the doorway when he saw them. Dave, Mary, what’s wrong? Looking at his overactive nephew and niece, he said, It can’t be them. They’re bouncing off the walls.

Dave groaned and rubbed his forehead. I went by Sally’s, but she wasn’t home. The doctor’s tending to someone else right now. After a glance at Mary, he turned his gaze to Joel and asked, I don’t suppose you might know what’s wrong with Mary? Joel was training to become a doctor, so maybe he’d know something.

I might, Joel said as he set his medical bag on the floor and picked Rachel up.

He motioned for Isaac to sit down, which he did, and Dave sighed. Why didn’t he think to do that?

What’s wrong, Mary? Joel asked her.

She doesn’t remember who she is, Dave said for her.

His eyes wide, Joel looked between Dave and Mary. What?

It happened about two hours ago. She was fine, fell down the porch steps, bumped her head, and when she woke up, she didn’t know who anyone was. She doesn’t recognize me, the kids or… He turned his gaze to her and motioned to Joel. Do you remember him?

Mary shook her head and then stared at her hands which were folded in her lap.

I don’t think she remembers anyone or anything, Dave continued. Mary, do you remember your life in Maine or coming to Nebraska?

Tears came to her eyes and she shook her head. No.

Concerned, Dave rubbed her back. It’s alright, sweetheart. Don’t cry.

For some reason, that made her cry harder.

Joel pulled out the handkerchief from his suit pocket and handed it to her. She has amnesia?

Amnesia? Dave asked.

Where she can’t remember anything, his brother clarified.

As much as it hurt to admit it, Dave said, It seems to fit. She doesn’t seem to remember anything from before she woke up on the couch this afternoon. To be sure, he asked her, You do remember waking up on the couch and seeing Isaac and Rachel with the frog in that box, right?

Sniffling as she wiped her eyes with the handkerchief, she nodded. I remember that, and I remember changing Rachel’s diaper and coming into town.

Well, that’s good, Joel replied.

So will that help us? Dave asked.

Joel shrugged. I’m not sure. I’ve never had to deal with anyone who had amnesia before.

Yeah but you’ve researched everything that can go wrong with a person, right?

There are a lot of things that can go wrong, Dave.

I don’t believe you. You’ve been doing this for what? Five years? Don’t you know everything you need to by now?

Shifting Rachel to his other arm, Joel rolled his eyes. I do what I can.

With a heavy sigh, Dave said, I’m sorry, Joel.

It’s alright. If this happened to April, I don’t know what I’d do.

Looking at Mary who was still softly crying, he rubbed her back again. We’ll get through this, sweetheart. She didn’t bother answering, and he couldn’t blame her. To her, he was a stranger who was telling her everything was going to be alright, and who would believe someone they didn’t know?

Why is Ma crying? Isaac asked as he impatiently shifted on the chair.

Because she’s scared.

Why is she scared?

Because she doesn’t remember any of us. Before his son could ask another question, Dave turned to his brother. How are Nora and Tess?

At the mention of his daughters, Joel smiled. They’re getting along just fine. I think Nora likes being a big sister, but she tends to treat Tess like a doll, so we have to keep telling her to be gentle.

We didn’t have that problem with Isaac. He had no interest in babies when Rachel was born.

Isaac turned his attention from the open window and looked at his father. Babies can’t do nothing.

Well, Isaac, Joel began as he rocked side to side to keep Rachel from getting bored, girls love babies. They like to pretend they’re mothers.

Grimacing, Isaac shook his head and turned his gaze back to the window.

Joel laughed. That’s a boy for you.

With a smile, Dave looked at Mary and wondered if that cheered her up or not, but she was still crying. He didn’t know what to do. Of all the things that could happen to her, he never imagined this would be one of them.

Doctor Adams walked through the open door.

Relieved, Dave stood up.

What can I do for you, Dave? Doctor Adams asked,

Reviews for To Have And To Hold

[Leena Aluru · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

The Eye of the Beholder (Part 1) of this trilogy featuring Dave and Mary is one of my all time favourites, my go to comfort read. Dave and Mary are the epitome of a wonderful and loving couple. The only one that's shows both as absolute equals, and this one continues in the same vein.

In this book, Mary has a simple fall resulting in a total.loss of memory and as days pass by, she starts remembering her days in Nebraska but absolutely nothing from her life before coming to Omaha. When she gets news of her father's illness, Dave and Mary make a trip to meet her family. And what a terrible, toxic family! One that can be forgotten forever!

It's a pleasant followup to their original story and a definite recommendation ?