From Zero to Four Kids in Thirty Seconds
()
About this ebook
Amy is a 30-year-old woman who spent many years polishing an unapproachable outer shell and maintaining a long list of reasons why not to have children. She keeps a canoe on her front porch, a mountain bike in her kitchen and a balance in her checking account.
Mark is an older, divorced man with four kids. He sleeps on an Army cot and eats out of pots and pans given to him by his therapist. He has a Ph.D. in stream ecology, a VW Rabbit with 285,000 miles on it and enough fishing tackle to sink a small boat.
Amy falls for Mark hook, line and hundreds of dollars in sinkers.
This is Amy’s humorous yet compelling story of becoming a stepmother. The book’s catchy chapter titles and over 70 tips make this a must read for stepmothers and future stepmothers. And it’s a fun read for any woman who took on more than she’d bargained for and gained even more in the end.
The first chapter, As if I Would go Looking for Trouble Like This, shows Amy trying not to fall for a guy with kids, let alone one with four kids ages three, five, 13 and 15. But she does anyway and in Chapter 2, The Dreaded Children, Amy meets the children while loitering around a Subway restaurant. This leads to Tip#10: Avoidance is the next best thing to confrontation. When Amy finally builds up the nerve to visit the kids at Mark’s apartment, it’s soon clear she doesn’t have a clue what she’s gotten into--the kids are playing with Transformers and Water Babies and other things she knows nothing about; she brings over four bags of groceries because she has no idea how much food four kids eat; and the rigatoni she prepares is as hard as week-old French bread.
Chapter Three is “Mom, Meet Mark” and introduces Amy’s curious, conservative mother, who definitely would not have chosen an older divorced man for her daughter. It also introduces other family members including two siblings and Amy’s father, all of whom have a great sense of humor.
In Chapter four, Adored and Ignored, Amy attempts to deal with the fact that the two younger kids won’t leave her alone, while the teenagers won’t pay her any attention. This chapter includes Tip #22: A teenager can say “I love you, I hate you, you’re cool, you suck” in one breath to the same person. And mean every word.
Chapter five, Got Time for Some of This?, shows Amy trying all sorts of ways to get Mark’s attention after his oldest moves in with him. This chapter is prefaced by Tip #25: If you have to be Top Dog all the time, you’re barking up the wrong tree.
In Chapter six, This a Vacation Does Not Make, Amy takes Mark and his oldest daughter to Florida to swim with manatees; Mark’s contribution is to take the ladies bass fishing for two days. On the way home, Mark insists on catching a lizard for his daughter to take home as a pet, and that doesn’t go well, either.
The next chapter, Is that Sweat Dripping off Your Forehead, Honey?, shows the usually cool and collected Mark asking Amy’s dad for permission to marry his daughter. The next few chapters show life in a small apartment with Mark and four kids, and Amy being challenged by each child in turn. One event leads to Tip #44: You can’t trade a bad kid for a good head of lettuce. Another chapter details going to a horribly long school band performance at the kid’s school and how Mark acts like a fifth child. A full chapter is devoted to how to avoid and eventually deal with an Ex.
In the chapter I Do-Do Amy struggles to plan a simple but elegant wedding in the face of women selling frilly dresses, hideous flowers, and boring wedding cakes. In Chapter 14, A Family Reunion in Disney Land Hell, Amy becomes the gap between her new family and her old family on a hilarious, stressful vacation.
From Zero to Four Kids in Thirty Seconds is a fun ride that will convince women that with the right guy, being a stepmother can be rewarding, fun and full of surprises. Amy wouldn’t have had it any other way.
Amy L Peterson
Amy Peterson became a stepmother in 1994 when she married a man who had four kids, an old VW Rabbit and a boat load of fishing tackle. Unable to find other true, uplifting stories about becoming a stepmother, Amy used her casual, entertaining writing style to tell her amusing but heartwarming story in From Zero to Four Kids in Thirty Seconds. The conflicts she faces (and avoids) are universal to all stepmothers, and the conflicts with her beau are amusing universal struggles between the sexes. Amy’s goal was to write a story that would have universal appeal to women, while being particularly helpful for women contemplating becoming stepmothers. At the same time Amy was muddling through the world of stepmother hood she was also faced with one pet after another that her husband kept bringing home. The first hedgehog was joined by a second hedgehog and the baby hedgehogs came 28 days later. One ferret soon got three ferret pals to play with. The first puppy had too much energy, so along came another dog. And so it goes in Amy's second memoir, Something Furry Underfoot, a humorous, touching memoir about raising and falling for a whole array of pets. It includes 50 tips, most of which are about pets, some of which are about the spouses that love pets. This fun, entertaining read will help pet owners and potential pet owners make better decisions about their pets. Amy has been published in numerous magazines and does weekly blog postings on her web site, amylpeterson.com, about nature, pets and life. Like her books, most of her blog postings are light-hearted if not also sometimes information. Amy works for the state of Michigan and lives with her husband and a variety of fuzzy animals.
Read more from Amy L Peterson
Purrkins, the Cat Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSomething Furry Underfoot Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBumpkin Gets Big Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDusty, the Angel Pup Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsGoodnight, Big Wuzzy Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Related to From Zero to Four Kids in Thirty Seconds
Related ebooks
What If?: Imagine the Possibilities... Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsConversations with Myself: Short Introspective Discussions About Life Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThis Too Shall Pass Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsAt His Mercy: The True Story of a Victim's Journey Through Clergy Sexual Misconduct Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsNot Church as Usual Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingseGo: A Dot-com Bubble Story Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Please Excuse Johnny Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsUnlock Your Potential: 21 Actions for Women Who Want to Move from STUCK to UNSTOPPABLE Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMoments: A Guided Gratitude Journal Designed to Reveal Your Happiness Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsFriendship Matters: How to Transform Your Life Through the Power of Friendship Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSuch is Life Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThere is a Time for Everything Under Heaven: A Time to Hate and a Time to Love Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsInsight: "Looking Through The Obvious To See The Real" Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsLove Is Bananas Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWolves for Hire Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings[Real]: The 30-Day Social Media Movement Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsJust Wingin’ It: One Woman’S Comical Collection of Musings, Reflections, and Observations on This Thing We Call Life Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsShowing Up: How Men Can Become Effective Allies in the Workplace Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWriting and Self-Publishing: One Author's Journey Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5There Is a Time for Everything Under Heaven: A Time to Hate and a Time to Love Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBefore The Flood Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings"After the Storm" Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsLove for One Another Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsYes, You Can Wear That: How to Look and Feel Fierce at Any Size Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWhat Have I Done?: The Stories of Mark Clifton Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsTales of the Everyday Workingman (and Woman) Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMake It Work: 22 Time-Tested, Real-Life Lessons for Sustaining a Healthy, Happy Relationship Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Exposed - Her Undercover Millionaire Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Quest for Caesar’s Medallion Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Relationships For You
I'm Glad My Mom Died Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A Child Called It: One Child's Courage to Survive Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Boundaries Workbook: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex: Creating a Marriage That's Both Holy and Hot Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5All About Love: New Visions Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Big Book of 30-Day Challenges: 60 Habit-Forming Programs to Live an Infinitely Better Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Dumbing Us Down - 25th Anniversary Edition: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Codependence and the Power of Detachment: How to Set Boundaries and Make Your Life Your Own Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, HER Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The ADHD Effect on Marriage: Understand and Rebuild Your Relationship in Six Steps Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5My Grandmother's Hands: Racialized Trauma and the Pathway to Mending Our Hearts and Bodies Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist: The Narcissism Series, #1 Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Your Brain's Not Broken: Strategies for Navigating Your Emotions and Life with ADHD Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen: A Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7 Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Becoming Sister Wives: The Story of an Unconventional Marriage Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5The Art of Loving Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5What Makes Love Last?: How to Build Trust and Avoid Betrayal Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I Guess I Haven't Learned That Yet: Discovering New Ways of Living When the Old Ways Stop Working Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Oh Crap! Potty Training: Everything Modern Parents Need to Know to Do It Once and Do It Right Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Reviews for From Zero to Four Kids in Thirty Seconds
0 ratings0 reviews