Montessori at Home or School: How to Teach Grace and Courtesy

By Deb Chitwood, M.A.

Montessori at Home or School: How to Teach Grace and Courtesy is a bit like "Montessori meets Miss Manners." In Montessori, grace and courtesy is seen as an important part of a child’s education and an important part of meeting a child’s inner needs. The Montessori method provides a framework that can effectively be used with one child or a group of children.

Part I talks about grace and courtesy for preschoolers and elementary-age children. Suggestions are given to help parents and teachers feel comfortable teaching grace and courtesy. Part II gives rules of etiquette in many situations for preschoolers through age 12.

Sections include "Using the Montessori Method to Teach Grace and Courtesy," "Why Use the Montessori Method?" "The Preschool Child," "The Elementary-Age Child," "Introductions," "Greetings and Farewells," "Conversations," "Saying 'Please,' 'Thank You,' and 'You're Welcome,'" "Saying 'Excuse Me' and ‘I'm Sorry,'" "Coping with Problems in Public," "Bathroom Manners," "Cleaning up after Yourself," "Having Friends Visit," “Being a Guest at Someone's House," "Table Manners," "Telephone Manners," "Letter Writing," "Games and Sports," and "Showing Respect."

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Dec 3, 2013
• ISBN: 9781937683078

Book preview

Montessori at Home or School:

How to Teach Grace and Courtesy

By

Deb Chitwood, M.A.

SPRING SNOW PUBLICATIONS • Colorado Springs, Colorado

eBook Copyright © 2013 by Deb Chitwood

All rights reserved. No part of this book, except for brief passages in reviews and articles that refer to the author and publisher, may be reproduced without the written permission of the publisher.

ISBN 978-1-937683-07-8

Published by:

SPRING SNOW PUBLICATIONS

315 Brandywine Drive

Colorado Springs, CO 80906

DEDICATION

This book is dedicated to my husband, Terry,

who has always supported me in the pursuit of my dreams,

to my children,

Will and Christina,

who thought it was a good idea for me to write this book,

and to all the children I ever worked with

who gave me inspiration and validated Maria Montessori’s methods.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

Although I’m grateful to innumerable people for the help which has influenced me in my life’s work, I must give the greatest thanks to my family for all their love and encouragement.

To my parents, thank you for the loving way you raised me and for the support you have given me in my writing endeavors. Also, thank you for giving me the belief that manners are important.

To my husband, Terry, your support of me and my life’s path has been unfailing. To my children, Will and Christina, thank you for the joy, inspiration, and pride you gave me when you were children – and still give me now that you’re married adults with wonderful spouses.

Special thanks also to another family – the family at Think Ten Media Group and The Good Long Road for the lovely cover photo and cover design.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

PART I: USING THE MONTESSORI METHOD TO TEACH GRACE AND COURTESY

WHY USE THE MONTESSORI METHOD?

CHAPTER 1: THE PRESCHOOL CHILD

Montessori’s Ideas

Methods for Parents and Teachers

My Research Experience

CHAPTER 2: THE ELEMENTARY-AGE CHILD

Montessori’s Ideas

Methods for Parents and Teachers

PART II: BASIC SOCIAL GRACES

RULES OF ETIQUETTE

CHAPTER 3: INTRODUCTIONS

When to Introduce People

Basic Rules of Introduction

Other Points of Introduction

Responding to an Introduction

Introducing Yourself

CHAPTER 4: GREETINGS AND FAREWELLS

Greeting Someone in a Public Place

Greeting Someone in Your Home

Saying Farewell

CHAPTER 5: CONVERSATIONS

Beginning a Conversation

Participating in a Conversation

Ending a Conversation

CHAPTER 6: SAYING PLEASE, THANK YOU, AND YOU’RE WELCOME"

Please

Thank You

You’re Welcome

CHAPTER 7: SAYING EXCUSE ME AND I’M SORRY

Excuse Me

I’m Sorry

CHAPTER 8: COPING WITH PROBLEMS IN PUBLIC

Coughing or Sneezing

Nose Blowing

Yawning or Burping

Gum Chewing

Grooming

CHAPTER 9: BATHROOM MANNERS

Bathroom Manners for Private Bathrooms

Bathroom Manners for Public Rest Rooms

CHAPTER 10: CLEANING UP AFTER YOURSELF

At Home

At Someone Else’s House

At a Public Place

CHAPTER 11: HAVING FRIENDS VISIT

Extending Invitations

Having a Friend Visit

Giving a Party

CHAPTER 12: BEING A GUEST AT SOMEONE’S HOUSE

Accepting or Declining an Invitation

Visiting Someone or Spending the Night at Someone’s House

Attending a Party at Someone’s House

CHAPTER 13: TABLE MANNERS

The Beginning of the Meal

The Setting

How to Use a Knife, Fork, and Spoon

How to Eat Different Foods

Serving

Problems at the Table

The End of the Meal

CHAPTER 14: TELEPHONE MANNERS

Answering the Telephone

Phoning Others

Cell/Mobile Phone Etiquette

CHAPTER 15: LETTER WRITING

Personal Letters

Greeting Cards

Invitations

Acceptances and Regrets

Thank-You Notes

Letters of Congratulation

Letters of Condolence

Letters of Apology

Business Letters

E-Mails

CHAPTER 16: GAMES AND SPORTS

Lessons for Games

Lessons for Sports

CHAPTER 17: SHOWING RESPECT

Showing Respect for Everyone

Showing Respect for Adults

Showing Respect for Children

Showing Respect for Yourself

Photo Credits

Index

About the Author

PART I

USING THE MONTESSORI METHOD TO TEACH GRACE AND COURTESY

WHY USE THE MONTESSORI METHOD?

The Montessori method of education includes the teaching of grace and courtesy as an important part of a child’s education and as an important part of meeting a child’s inner needs. The Montessori method provides a framework that can effectively be used with one child or a group of children.

For Parents

If you are a parent, you are your child’s first teacher and will always be your child’s most important teacher. Although social interaction in a school situation is different from that at home, you play an essential part in preparing your child for his or her social life outside the home. Even if your child attends a Montessori school and is given lessons on grace and courtesy there, you’re still the primary influence in teaching your child manners. If your child isn’t taught grace and courtesy outside the home, your job as teacher of social graces is even more important. While your role as a model of proper etiquette is vital in teaching your child social graces, using the methods in Part I should enhance and clarify what you’re teaching through your example.

For Teachers

If you are a teacher, you have the opportunity to help children acquire skills in grace and courtesy their parents may not have the time or knowledge to teach themselves. Even if you think of yourself as a childcare worker rather than teacher, you are always a teacher by example. In an ideal scenario, you will just reinforce what is already taught and encouraged at home. Ideal scenario or not, knowledge of an effective way to teach social graces should not only help the child, but should make your classroom or group situation calmer and kinder.

CHAPTER 1

THE PRESCHOOL CHILD

Montessori’s Ideas

Like the entire Montessori method of education, Maria Montessori’s ideas on the teaching of grace and courtesy arose from her direct observations of children. One day, she had decided to give the children at the first Children’s House in the San Lorenzo Quarter of Rome, Italy, a lesson on nose blowing. To her surprise, the children enthusiastically applauded the lesson. Dr. Montessori realized a young child has a deep sense of personal dignity. That sense of dignity is often crushed when the child is reprimanded for something like not using a handkerchief properly—especially when the child has never been shown the proper way to blow his or her nose.

The child’s sense of dignity is protected and enhanced through the exercises of grace and courtesy. When the child knows the proper rules of etiquette for a situation, he or she is able to act with self-confidence and to receive approval for his or her behavior.

The preschool years from 2½ to 6 are the perfect time to emphasize the teaching of grace and courtesy. During those years, the child has a special receptivity to the learning of manners. The child also has a receptivity to the refinement of movement during the preschool years. The receptivity to improving both manners and movement enables the preschool child to benefit from and enjoy learning social graces much more than he or she would at a later age.

Methods for Parents and Teachers

From the Montessori method of education, there are a number of techniques that you as a parent or teacher can use in teaching children social graces. Probably the most important technique to remember is that of demonstrating the desired activity to the child. Don’t assume that a child knows how to greet someone, how to answer a phone, or even how to flush a toilet after using it if he or she has never been shown the proper procedure.

In Montessori education, the logical analysis of movement is stressed as a guideline to follow in giving demonstrations. That is, care should be taken to think through the procedure you’ll be demonstrating so you will isolate each step of the procedure.