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    Press Cuttings
    Press Cuttings
    Press Cuttings
    Ebook81 pages53 minutes

    Press Cuttings

    By Bernard Shaw

    4/5

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    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherArchive Classics
    Release dateDec 1, 1976
    Press Cuttings

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    • 4/5
      Perhaps even 4½ stars! Read as part of the Kindle omnibus "The Plays of Shaw (26 Plays)".I found this one-act play hilarious. Set in 1911, at the time of suffragettes trying to get votes for women, it uses reductio ad absurdum to show the logic of the government and military positions. Some of the military attitudes would be an appropriate commentary to today's military in my opinion. For example, this exchange between the Prime Minister Balsquith and the general Mitchener:Mitchener: How do the inhabitants sleep with the possibility of invasion, of bombardment, continually present in their minds? Would you have our English slumbers broken in the same way? Are we also to live without security?Balsquith (dogmatically): Yes. There's no such thing as security in the world; and there never can be as long as men are mortal. England will be secure when England is dead, just as the streets of London will be safe when there is no longer a man in her streets to be run over, or a vehicle to run over him. When you military chaps as for security, you are crying for the moon.I can imagine this exchange as referring to the "war on terrorism".

    Book preview

    Press Cuttings - Bernard Shaw

    The Project Gutenberg EBook of Press Cuttings, by George Bernard Shaw

    This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with

    almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or

    re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included

    with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org

    Title: Press Cuttings

    Author: George Bernard Shaw

    Release Date: May 28, 2009 [EBook #5723]

    Last Updated: December 10, 2012

    Language: English

    *** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PRESS CUTTINGS ***

    Produced by Eve Sobol, and David Widger

    PRESS CUTTINGS

    By Bernard Shaw

    1913

    TRANSCRIBER'S NOTE: The edition from which this etext was taken lacks contractions, so it reads dont for don't and Ill for I'll, for example. The play has been reproduced exactly as printed.

    The forenoon of the first of April, 1911.

    General Mitchener is at his writing table in the War Office, opening letters. On his left is the fireplace, with a fire burning. On his right, against the opposite wall is a standing desk with an office stool. The door is in the wall behind him, half way between the table and the desk. The table is not quite in the middle of the room: it is nearer to the hearthrug than to the desk. There is a chair at each end of it for persons having business with the general. There is a telephone on the table. Long silence.

    A VOICE OUTSIDE. Votes for Women!

    The General starts convulsively; snatches a revolver from a drawer, and listens in an agony of apprehension. Nothing happens. He puts the revolver back, ashamed; wipes his brow; and resumes his work. He is startled afresh by the entry of an Orderly. This Orderly is an unsoldierly, slovenly, discontented young man.

    MITCHENER. Oh, it's only you. Well?

    THE ORDERLY. Another one, sir. Shes chained herself.

    MITCHENER. Chained herself? How? To what? Weve taken away the railings and everything that a chain can be passed through.

    THE ORDERLY. We forgot the doorscraper, sir. She laid down on the flags and got the chain through before she started hollerin. Shes lying there now; and she says that youve got the key of the padlock in a letter in a buff envelope, and that you will see her when you open it.

    MITCHENER. Shes mad. Have the scraper dug up and let her go home with it hanging round her neck.

    THE ORDERLY. Theres a buff envelope there, sir.

    MITCHENER. Youre all afraid of these women (picking the letter up). It does seem to have a key in it. (He opens the letter, and takes out a key and a note.) Dear Mitch—Well, I'm dashed!

    THE ORDERLY. Yes Sir.

    MITCHENER. What do you mean by Yes Sir?

    THE ORDERLY. Well, you said you was dashed, Sir; and you did look if youll excuse my saying it, Sir—well, you looked it.

    MITCHENER (who has been reading the letter, and is too astonished to attend to the Orderlys reply). This is a letter from the Prime Minister asking me to release the woman with this key if she padlocks herself, and to have her shown up and see her at once.

    THE ORDERLY (tremulously). Dont do it, governor.

    MITCHENER (angrily). How often have I ordered you not to address me as governor. Remember that you are a soldier and not a vulgar civilian. Remember also that when a man enters the army he leaves fear behind him. Heres the key. Unlock her and show her up.

    THE ORDERLY. Me unlock her! I dursent. Lord knows what she'd do to me.

    MITCHENER (pepperily, rising). Obey your orders instantly, Sir, and dont presume to argue. Even if she kills you, it is your duty to die for your country. Right about face. March. (The Orderly goes out, trembling.)

    THE VOICE OUTSIDE. Votes for Women! Votes for Women! Votes for Women!

    MITCHENER (mimicking her). Votes for Women! Votes for Women! Votes for Women! (in his natural voice) Votes for children! Votes for babies! Votes for monkeys! (He posts himself on the hearthrug, and awaits the enemy.)

    THE ORDERLY (outside). In you go. (He pushes a panting Suffraget into the room.) The person sir. (He withdraws.)

    The Suffraget takes off her tailor made skirt and reveals a pair of fashionable trousers.

    MITCHENER (horrified). Stop, madam. What are you doing? You must not undress in my presence. I protest. Not even your letter from the Prime Minister—

    THE SUFFRAGET. My dear Mitchener: I AM the Prime Minister. (He tears off his

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