Everand Logo

Welcome to Everand!

  • Discover millions of ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more with a free trial

    Only $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

    How Doth the Simple Spelling Bee
    How Doth the Simple Spelling Bee
    How Doth the Simple Spelling Bee
    Ebook83 pages47 minutes

    How Doth the Simple Spelling Bee

    By Frederic Rodrigo Gruger and Owen Wister

    ()

    Read preview
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherArchive Classics
    Release dateOct 1, 2010
    How Doth the Simple Spelling Bee

    Read more from Frederic Rodrigo Gruger

    Related to How Doth the Simple Spelling Bee

    Related ebooks

    Related podcast episodes

    Related articles

    • Article

      One Word: Salty

      Jan 2, 2019

      One Word: Salty
      6 min read

    • Article

      A Year in Reading: Iľja Rákoš

      Dec 12, 2021

      As long as there are authors, translators, publishers large or small committed to the deliberate word deliberately committed to the page, and so many who still need those words on pages, legal or illegal, right, left, or center, we’ll find our feet a

      8 min read

    • Article

      A Year in Reading: Lydia Kiesling

      Dec 16, 2018

      I couldn’t help noting that this reading assignment was the corner office in the women’s work of thinking about men who are not thinking about you. The post A Year in Reading: Lydia Kiesling appeared first on The Millions.

      10 min read

    • Article

      Shock Therapy

      Jun 8, 2021

      Shock Therapy
      15 min read

    • Article

      Your LETTERS

      Dec 10, 2021

      Your LETTERS
      6 min read

    • Article

      The Stackpole Legend

      Mar 1, 2024

      The Stackpole Legend
      13 min read

    • Article

      Thrilling French letters

      Oct 18, 2023

      Thrilling French letters
      3 min read

    • Article

      Vaguely Clever

      Jun 29, 2022

      It was quite a coup for our little church in the Sussex village of Ticehurst. Edith Vogel, a renowned pianist, had generously come down from London to give a recital in aid of the restoration of the roof. She was well into a Beethoven sonata which wa

      3 min read

    • Article

      Nick Laird

      Dec 15, 2017

      I was trying to write like an adult.I had children.I was at the end of something. As I waited at my table by the window for the coffee,I saw that the sirocco had depositeda scrim of dust on the sill overnight,and it was the dark red of powdered blood

      3 min read

    • Article

      Table Talk

      Sep 1, 2023

      Table Talk
      10 min read

    • Article

      William Wall

      Feb 3, 2022

      William Wall
      3 min read

    • Article

      Three Poems

      Nov 1, 2020

      1 The doctor makes a curving incision in the left topback of my skull andlifts the cap— “What areaam I here to work on?” But Ijust want to wish his son a Happy Birthday—It had been my aim, the reason I’dwalked right into this Doctor dream—In the morn

      11 min read

    • Article

      Ghost Girl, Banana

      Aug 21, 2023

      By the time I was 25, there were only two things I remembered about Mumma. The first was that she smelled of watermelons, the second was that we were happy. We’d taken our father’s name of course, but a name is only half a story. The other half exist

      6 min read

    • Article

      Four Of A Kind

      May 3, 2023

      Four Of A Kind
      4 min read

    • Article

      Katharine Kilalea

      Dec 15, 2017

      Katharine Kilalea
      37 min read

    • Article

      Memories Of A Miracle

      Dec 1, 2023

      Memories Of A Miracle
      8 min read

    • Article

      The Woman At Home

      Jan 29, 2019

      From the journals of Samuel P. Perceval,bookseller: Covent Garden, Dec. 15, 1974 This spring, I found a curious letter sewn into the hem of a coat belonging to my late great-aunt Florence. Crudely enveloped in what appeared to be a page torn from

      5 min read

    • Article

      Fire In The Black Box

      Jan 1, 2024

      Fire In The Black Box
      24 min read

    • Article

      Such, Such Were The Goys

      Aug 26, 2021

      Such, Such Were The Goys
      6 min read

    Reviews for How Doth the Simple Spelling Bee

    0 ratings

    0 ratings0 reviews

    What did you think?

    Tap to rate

    Review must be at least 10 words

      Book preview

      How Doth the Simple Spelling Bee - Frederic Rodrigo Gruger

      Project Gutenberg's How Doth the Simple Spelling Bee, by Owen Wister

      This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with

      almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or

      re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included

      with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org

      Title: How Doth the Simple Spelling Bee

      Author: Owen Wister

      Release Date: December 19, 2007 [EBook #23923]

      Language: English

      *** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HOW DOTH THE SIMPLE SPELLING BEE ***

      Produced by D Alexander and the Online Distributed

      Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was

      produced from images generously made available by The

      Internet Archive)

      How doth the Simple

      Spelling Bee

      BY

      OWEN WISTER

      AUTHOR OF THE VIRGINIAN,

      LADY BALTIMORE, ETC., ETC.

      WITH ILLUSTRATIONS BY F. R. GRUGER

      New York

      THE MACMILLAN COMPANY

      LONDON: THE MACMILLAN CO., Ltd.

      1907

      All rights reserved

      Copyright

      , 1907,

      By THE CURTIS PUBLISHING COMPANY.

      Copyright

      , 1907,

      By THE MACMILLAN COMPANY.

      Set up and electrotyped. Published February, 1907.

      Norwood Press

      J. S. Cushing & Co.—Berwick & Smith Co.

      Norwood, Mass., U.S.A.

      ILLUSTRATIONS

      Hup, hup, hup!

      HOW DOTH THE SIMPLE SPELLING-BEE

      How doth the Simple Spelling-bee

      Impruv each shining ower.

      Of course, I know not how it may be with you; but with me the mail brings daily a multitude of communications that I have not sought, and do not want; nor do I refer to bills alone; and so, when there came one day a printed card saying:—

      Why Heifer?

      I tossed it into my waste-paper basket, and remembered it no more. Some days had passed, during which I had worked onward at the index of my forthcoming volume, when my memory was jogged by the arrival of a new absurdity:—

      Why not Heffer?

      Like its predecessor, this card went at once into my basket. I had nearly finished the B's in my index before the mail brought the following:—

      It ought to be your custom now

      To simplify, and spell plough plow;

      Therefore write quickly on your cuff

      From this day forth to spell tough tuff.

      A third must follow these first tu,

      So you will always spell through thru,

      Nor in the midst of things leave off,

      But joyfully now make cough coff.

      By this time you must clearly noa

      Dough can't be doe, do, dow, but doa.

      Well, if they purposed to reform our spelling, which has always been a mere rag-bag of lawlessness, I hoped that they would do it right; but I was too deeply immersed in completing the index of my forthcoming volume to spend thought upon this question; nor did I court interruption. My waste-paper basket, therefore, received another willing contribution. And when presently the clue to these cards reached me in the following telegraphic message, just at the outset of my morning's work:—

      Chickle University,

      Arkansopolis, October 6, 1906.

      English spelling rotten to the core. Help us.

      Masticator B. Fellows.

      I responded, not without satire:—

      Utterly prostrated by news. Helpless.

      Thomas Greenberry.

      And thinking that thus I was rid of him, I proceeded quietly with the index of my forthcoming volume.

      But Masticator B. Fellows, president and proprietor of Chickle University, had not done with me so easily. Since his street-boyhood, sixty years ago, this ardent personality ('tis thus the daily press describes him) had made his own way, and had his own way; he was his own capital, and there is no record of his ever having sunk a cent of it. Of habits strictly pure, he had never seen a card

      Enjoying the preview?
      Page 1 of 1