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    The Conflict: How Modern Motherhood Undermines the Status of Women
    The Conflict: How Modern Motherhood Undermines the Status of Women
    The Conflict: How Modern Motherhood Undermines the Status of Women
    Ebook211 pages4 hours

    The Conflict: How Modern Motherhood Undermines the Status of Women

    By Elisabeth Badinter

    2.5/5

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    About this ebook

    In the pathbreaking tradition of Backlash and The Time Bind, The Conflict, a #1 European bestseller, identifies a surprising setback to women's freedom: progressive modern motherhood

    Elisabeth Badinter has for decades been in the vanguard of the European fight for women's equality. Now, in an explosive new book, she points her finger at a most unlikely force undermining the status of women: liberal motherhood, in thrall to all that is "natural." Attachment parenting, co-sleeping, baby-wearing, and especially breast-feeding—these hallmarks of contemporary motherhood have succeeded in tethering women to the home and family to an extent not seen since the 1950s. Badinter argues that the taboos now surrounding epidurals, formula, disposable diapers, cribs—and anything that distracts a mother's attention from her offspring—have turned childrearing into a singularly regressive force.

    In sharp, engaging prose, Badinter names a reactionary shift that is intensely felt but has not been clearly articulated until now, a shift that America has pioneered. She reserves special ire for the orthodoxy of the La Leche League—an offshoot of conservative Evangelicalism—showing how on-demand breastfeeding, with all its limitations, curtails women's choices. Moreover, the pressure to provide children with 24/7 availability and empathy has produced a generation of overwhelmed and guilt-laden mothers—one cause of the West's alarming decline in birthrate.
    A bestseller in Europe, The Conflict is a scathing indictment of a stealthy zealotry that cheats women of their full potential.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherMacmillan Publishers
    Release dateApr 24, 2012
    ISBN9781429996914
    The Conflict: How Modern Motherhood Undermines the Status of Women
    Author

    Elisabeth Badinter

    ELISABETH BADINTER is the acclaimed author of three seminal works on feminism (The Myth of Motherhood, Dead End Feminism and XY: On Masculine Identity), which have been translated into fifteen languages. She lives in Paris, where she teaches philosophy at the prestigious École Polytechnique.

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    Reviews for The Conflict

    2.5/5

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    • 3/5
      Although I'm a very receptive audience to Elisabeth Badinter's overarching argument--that the cultural zeitgeist of attachment parenting places an overwhelming burden on mothers--I found the book itself to be rather disorganized. Possibly the translation left something to be desired? Badinter's main concern seems to be that the craze for co-sleeping, extended breastfeeding, and shunning of daycare may spread to France, the last bastion of "women first, mothers second." However, she doesn't provide much substantiation for the worry. French women, a la "Bringing Up Bebe" (a much more readable look at France's admirably laid-back approach to parenting), still seem to have their heads on straight about the whole enterprise.
    • 4/5
      Short, blunt essay warning that women will simply refuse to have children if motherhood becomes too onerous and they don't get enough help & support from partners, employers and government. Interesting at a time when the "mommy wars" are really heating up. Badinter commends France for its child-friendly policies and points to the surprisingly high French birth rate. She shows particular venom for the La Leche League, which she condemns as a Christian fundamendalist cabal (it was founded decades ago by two Catholic mothers) with a subversive plan to send women back to the home, out of the workforce, and at the exclusive service of their husbands & children. Dry with lots of graphs, but I found it interesting.
    • 1/5
      If I could give a half star, l would. I've heard about this store for long time, but never read her work. It's safe to say I won't ever read her again.If she isn't the most depressed individual in the world, I'm surprised. She talks/ writes like feminism is a battle cry against family, motherhood, marriage and basically anything and anyone who takes the focus of self. One minute, women were MORE than capable, but the next, we can't be b both a workingnwoman AND a mom? At least she's not speaking for me.
    • 3/5
      Hm, well: not quite what I was expecting. Elisabeth Badinter has written this rather polemical work on the modern concept of Motherhood (the capital letter is deliberate, as Badinter finds the concept to be almost mythological in its power and scope) and the ways in which it confines and oppresses modern women. So, FYI: don't be thinking this is a research piece. She cites research but does not discuss it in depth; mostly this is a big strop on the sheer weirdness of the cultural shift away from female equality and back to the iconic Guardian Spirit of the Home.And don't get me wrong: I actually agree with some of this. I am watching women my daughter's age crucify their "friends" on Facebook for sins against Proper Mothering: They feed their child two French fries instead of whipping up organic baby food! That sling they use is completely out of date! Have they taken pictures of that baby to record every hour of its life? No? Whyever not? A Good Mother would.Badinter minces no words. She is disgusted by the current trend which makes mothers completely subservient to their infants, hyper-vigilant to their every whim and fancy; and she is even more disgusted by the impact this will inevitably have on women's ability to obtain higher status in society. A women tethered to her baby for years and years of nursing is not a woman with a high-status job; but, as she rightly points out, a woman who cuts any corners is rapidly becoming a pariah, judged mercilessly by her peers and by society as a whole as a Bad Mother. I was interested in all that. The things I did not like were: the polemical nature of the book; the fact that it is written in French and translated into English, which causes the prose to be rather clumsy; and Badinter's ultimate conclusions, which seem to include praise for French woman who are bucking the trend by smoking and drinking during pregnancy and refusing to breastfeed. Unlike women in other European countries! She seems to link this to Frenchwomen's history of turning their children over to nannies so that they could concentrate on holding literary salons and whatnot. So that was peculiar. But still: a worthwhile read, if only as a counterweight to the endless onslaught of Being The Perfect Mommy books.
    • 2/5
      First of all, this is an ideological book-not an academic one. There are few reliable studies, statistics, or even quotes to back up Badinter's claims. This is an exploration of ideas and a conversation/thought starter. I prefer more academically focused books, but I understand that gender studies and social issues don't always lend themselves to that sort of examination. With that said, I found this to be a quick, entertaining, and thought provoking little book. There seems to be only a vague sort of thesis, and the final chapter...on a previously barely mentioned specific topic (French motherhood), really seems to be the focus of the book. I did find this to be rather thought-provoking and compelling despite the fact that there is nothing backing Badinter's claims. Like other books on social issues (The Beauty Myth comes to mind) this takes a very specific topic-standard motherhood within the context of marriage/committed relationship without more than passing reference to any sort of single parenthood, same-sex couples, or other "nontraditional" types of families. It explores a short history (though really only 20th century in any sort of depth and with little or no specific sources) of motherhood and its changing meanings/responsibilities. This is all rather fascinating if not groundbreaking or new. What was really interesting was the ultimate claim-that the form of modern motherhood practiced in the US, France, etc. effectively controls and limits women in supposedly egalitarian/sex-equal societies. Again, this is not really new, but still interesting, compelling, and thought provoking. I would be interested in reading more on the topic, but probably only if it was a bit more academically oriented. As in, some sort of research. But Badinter does give an interesting introduction to a fascinating topic, and does it fairly well if a bit repetitively.
    • 2/5
      I was intrigued by the premise behind "The Conflict": is it possible that the ways we are trying to be better mothers are, in fact, holding us back as women? Badinter's book, however, is flawed in many ways. The work is entirely heteronormative, and assumes parents are solely opposite-sex couples; a few references are made to single mothers, but no discussion is given to same-sex couples or single fathers. Often she is lacking statistics to back up her claims, so she relies on excerpts from popular French novels to support her arguments (anecdotal evidence from real mothers, I could handle, but fictional passages have little place in a text such as this one). Badinter's argument feels out of place in 2012; her brand of feminism is dated, as she clearly opposes women who choose to prioritize children over career. The copy that I read was an ARC, so it was not the final text. There were many typos and instances of mistranslated syntax that were hopefully corrected before the final edition went into print.
    • 3/5
      The best advice I ever received on raising children came from my husband’s aunt. Right before my first son was born, she told me to trust myself. “You’re both intelligent people,” she said, “and you’re not going to do anything really stupid. If someone, family or stranger, tells you you’re not doing it right and you think you are, ignore them.” I’ve followed that advice for almost 9 years now and I have two pretty healthy, relatively happy kids to show for it.As sensible as this advice is, it’s extremely hard to follow. As Elisabeth Badinter points out in her book, The Conflict: How Modern Motherhood Undermines the Status of Women, plenty of people know what’s best for your baby. What if you (or your husband or your chosen medical professional) don’t agree? Well, you’re just wrong. The “mommy wars” are in full swing and Badinter has thrown herself in front of the La Leche League/Attachment Parenting bus. Though Badinter is commenting on how the return to “natural child-rearing” has affected French mothers, anyone who’s had a baby in the U.S. in the last 25 years will recognize the scenarios: The claims of the clear superiority of breast-feeding, the idealization of the stay-at-home mom, the push to switch to part-time (moms only, of course) so you can spend more time with the babies, the gains of the women’s movement effectively erased by the needs of the child.Badinter’s use of statistics to refute some of the wilder claims of the baby-first movement is welcome as is her analysis of how the movement has moved to prominence in the last 30 years or so. I was also intrigued by her comparisons of birth rates and family-friendly governmental policies (hint: it’s not what you might think!). But, overall, this book is just adding more fuel to the fire, albeit, on the lesser heard, “moms are people, too” side. It would be nice to read a book that speaks to the majority of women who are not breast-feeding and sleeping with their child to age 5, nor are they popping a bottle in his mouth and dropping him at daycare for 10 hours at one week old. I think Badinter tried to write this book, but ultimately, failed.
    • 2/5
      This would have made an excellent long article in a news journal. As it is, it's a long repetitive essay with very little new information in it. This book might be interesting to a reader who never really thought about this topic before. It is a decent overview of some basic ideas about how motherhood undermines the status of women. But if a reader has ever thought about these issues before, s/he will find it a very superficial treatment of the topic. The author doesn't address the more complex and nuanced arguments. For instance, she goes on at length about breastfeeding, and how it takes a lot of time and basically enslaves the mother, and she has a lot of statistics about how much breastfeeding is done in Europe. But that is just a report on breastfeeding. It doesn't get to the fundamental question of whether a woman should breastfeed or not. She refers to some studies that indicate that bottle-fed children are just as healthy, intelligent, etc., as breast-fed children, but I think this isn't what readers are looking for. There are no arguments here, just some facts and a few unsupported conclusions. She doesn't even get good and mad about the topic, which at least would make the presentation more interesting.She only refers to a few (mostly French) sociologists, medical professionals, etc. There doesn't seem to be a lot of research behind this book. The book obviously was written for a French audience, with a bit of information about the US thrown in, so the book does not address many of the well known American proponents of co-sleeping, breastfeeding, etc. (She does go into the history of La Leche League, though.) She doesn't address the problem of pregnancy at all, which I think is a glaring oversight. (If you are going to talk about the status of women, then you have to talk about pregnancy, since in many US states, women in effect cease to be persons in the eyes of the law while they are pregnant.)There are a lot of statistics in this book, and I think they are used not to illuminate her claims, but really just to throw numbers at the reader. Some sentences read rather poorly because they are just strings of numbers. And I had the distinct impression on occasion that some numbers didn't support her conclusions, but she would have a sentence to dismiss those numbers, according to whatever thesis she was trying to support.There were a few parts in the book where I felt like she threw this together in a hurry, with whatever information she had on hand, without doing a full investigation of what she was trying to claim. She mentions that French women can put their children in full-time daycare as early as age 3. She mentions this several times, as though it were a big deal. As far as I understand it, in the US, there are daycare centers taking babies as young as 6 weeks. The fact that she doesn't address this at all makes me think she wrote this book for a French audience and then decided to broaden it a little more for an international audience, but without doing the necessary research to really cover the topic well.The book is not horrible; it's okay. But I would like to see other writers try to address this topic for a popular audience at a higher intellectual level, with better research and an analysis of more of the issues surrounding motherhood.

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    The Conflict - Elisabeth Badinter

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