Sam's Story: Book Two

By Amy D. Crusan-Kramer

In this captivating saga, Samantha Skylar experiences undying passion and endures one horrific act of brutality that sweeps her into the arms of the second most powerful man in the country. Samantha’s journey takes her from the poverty and close-minded attitudes of a tiny, coal-mining town in West Virginia, to the estate of one of Atlanta’s oldest and wealthiest families. This epic trilogy follows Samantha from the age of 14 to 40.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Oct 1, 2013
• ISBN: 9781483509334

Book preview

JB!

Part One

Atlanta, Georgia

1987

Chapter One

Samantha

January 1987

Atlanta, Georgia

Skylar! You’ve got a phone call. Line two. I grinned to myself when I heard the announcement over the intercom. I was in the back of the animal shelter cleaning out kennels. Well, I was supposed to be cleaning out kennels ... mostly I was just loving on the dogs in the kennels that I was supposed to be cleaning out. I’d been volunteering at the animal shelter since the summer of 1979. I started out five days a week but, now that I had a real job, I was only able to spend my Saturdays here.

I walked over to the phone on the wall, hit the flashing line two button and picked up the receiver with a grin. Did you survive, Chels? Y’all are both alive and kickin’, right?

Oh, my god, Sam! I leaned my forehead against the cool wall, biting the inside of my lip. "It was miserable ... the worst! He is not the most patient person!"

Bastian? Not patient? I stifled more giggles. Finally, at twenty-two years of age, Chelsea had decided it was time to get her driver’s license and asked Bastian to give her lessons. I’m sure it wasn’t that bad. You just get too stressed out. You completely psych yourself out before you even get behind the wheel.

I knew you’d take his side, Chelsea grumbled. I’d have given anything to be a fly in the backseat when that lesson was going on! I don’t want to talk about it anymore. Is the pup coming home today?

He is! I’m so excited!

Me, too! The driving lesson already seemed to be a thing of the past. "Hey, Sam, tell me ... please tell me Eleanor is going to be there."

We can only hope. If she is, that’ll just be icing on the cake, Chels!

Yep.

I turned away and lowered my voice as I received a dirty look from one of the other workers, who then pointedly looked at his watch. I rolled my eyes ... I was a volunteer ... what were they going to do, fire me? Hey, Chels, I’ve got to go. I’m planning to leave here in about forty-five minutes, so I should be there to pick you up in a little over an hour. Does that work?

I’ll be here. See you then ... and Sam?

Mm-hmm?

We’ll be best friends forever, right?

Uh-huh, I answered, unable to imagine my life without her.

Okay, then I don’t see any reason why I need my own driver’s license since I’ll always have you.

Goodbye, crazy! I hung up the phone, grabbed the hose and went back to spraying down the kennels. I couldn’t stop smiling, thinking about my friend and how my life had changed, for the better, since meeting her.

In the summer of 1979, when Bastian told me I couldn’t move into the shelter and insisted I stay with him ... it wasn’t without conditions. Actually, his conditions were basically the same as if I were at the shelter. He insisted that I work or go to school ... preferably both.

When we got home from that first weekend on Hilton Head, he took me to the downtown animal shelter, and I signed up to volunteer. Fortunately, the shelter was very close to Katherine’s Shelter, so I could ride into town with Bastian every day. That fall, I started attending GED prep classes that were held at the shelter. Bastian also arranged for me to have weekly sessions with a therapist.

I knew that he’d hoped I would make some friends with the residents of the shelter. It didn’t happen. At the time that I started attending classes, most of them were older than me. Two of them had infants, and I couldn’t stand being around them ... the loss of my baby was still too raw. There was also the added awkwardness of my situation with Sebastian. I knew there was talk as to why I got to live at his house with him. Oh, well, I was used to being an outsider at school, so it was nothing new.

That November, a new resident showed up:

It was a Friday night and I was sitting in Bastian’s office waiting to go home. Sammy, I looked across his desk at him. Do you want me to call Jeffrey and have him come get you? I’m going to be checking in a new resident, so it’s going to be awhile.

No, I’m good. I’ve got my book.

When she walked in, my heart immediately went out to her. She was by herself and looked so scared. Her left arm was in a cast, both of her eyes were black and, even from Bastian’s office, I could see the split in her swollen lip. Bastian was engrossed in some paperwork, and I picked up a pen from his desk and threw it at him. Bas, get out there ... she’s scared.

He stood up and tugged on my hair on his way to the doorway. Don’t stare, Sammy.

I rolled my eyes and snorted at him in response ... I’d become a teenager, full of attitude. I watched her as he went out to the waiting room. When he reached out to take her bag, she visibly flinched from his touch. Before he took her back to show her to her room, he stopped in the doorway of his office. I immediately pretended to be engrossed in my book; Bastian grinned at me, knowing better. Samantha? I hate to interrupt your reading, he winked at me and I fought the urge to stick my tongue out at him, but I wanted you to meet our new resident. I stood up and walked over to her.

When I got closer I could see that the whites of her eyes were bloody and, I couldn’t help it, my eyes filled with tears. I reached out with my left arm to take her hand. I’m Samantha. You can call me Sam ... everyone does.

I saw her look at the long scar on my arm and then our eyes met. I know it sounds corny or crazy or both, but I felt an immediate connection to her. She took my hand and held it tight. Hi, Sam, I’m Chelsea. Do you live here? She sounded hopeful.

No, but I attend the GED classes here every afternoon. We’ll see a lot of each other, I’m sure. Bastian had stepped over to his desk and was going through some paperwork. I think he wanted to give the two of us some privacy. You’re in a good place, Chelsea. Don’t be afraid. She smiled at me, and Bastian came over and took her back to her room.

I was anxious all weekend for my class on Monday so that I could see Chelsea again. Unfortunately, our friendship was a little slow in coming. Chelsea came to Atlanta from Dallas. Her family situation was horrible ... nothing new for residents of the shelter. Her mother had re-married about a year before her arrival. Apparently her husband didn’t enjoy sharing his new wife with her daughter, and took it out on Chelsea. The last beating had almost killed her. Sebastian had a friend from college in Dallas. She was a social worker, and happened to be on duty at the emergency room when Chelsea was brought in. Once she was stabilized, she told her about Katherine’s Shelter. When Chelsea agreed to try it, Bastian paid for her to be transferred to Grady Hospital in Atlanta and, when she was discharged, she came to live at the shelter.

I was so excited when I went in to class Monday afternoon ... but I was disappointed. Chelsea had been alone with the other residents all weekend and been given an earful of the gossip about Sebastian and me. She was almost ready to leave the shelter, fearing that Bastian was just another dirty old man. One of the women that worked at the shelter talked to her and explained our situation. With no other options, Chelsea agreed to stay and give it a try.

Chelsea is almost a year younger than I am and had a hard time fitting in with the other girls at the shelter. So, at first, we were just two outcasts on our own. She kept to herself and I didn’t have enough self-confidence to approach her.

During a break from class one afternoon, I overhead a couple of the girls talking about Chelsea and her bruises and scars. I normally kept to myself, but it made me so angry that I walked right up to them and gave them a piece of my mind. We all have scars, Denise! Otherwise, we wouldn’t be here. Why are you such a bitch? You’d think we’d band together considering our pasts.

Yeah, you have it real rough! What kind of scars do you have that get you a bed at Mr. Devereaux’s house? I thought we were all supposed to be learning to live on our own and not depend on the men that abused us! You sure are a good example of what a liberated woman is, Samantha, she sneered sarcastically.

Suddenly Chelsea was in front of me, staring down Denise. Leave her alone! Don’t say nasty things like that if you don’t know what you’re talking about. Chelsea’s trembling hand reached back and grabbed mine. We’ve been inseparable ever since.

After that, Chelsea spent most weekends and holidays at Bastian’s house with me. I’d never had a girlfriend before, and we spent countless hours giggling like the teenage girls that we were. Poor Bastian. He had to have had the patience of a saint. I don’t think he knew exactly what to make of us at first. But Zoila assured him that we were behaving exactly the way we were supposed to behave.

Sebastian and Eleanor made up that summer. I don’t know all the details, except for the fact that I had to endure a lunch with her ... just the two of us. I’m sure she was as miserable as I was, but she wanted Bastian back and was willing to make the sacrifice. It truly was two of the most uncomfortable hours of my life.

Katherine’s Shelter was thriving. Sebastian had been correct; once the newness of the gossip about the two of us got old, a new scandal reared its head. We were forgotten, and due to the weight the Devereaux and Harlowe family names carried, the donations began rolling in again.

Bastian and I were family. He was so good to me and I never wanted for anything. I loved him and tried not to think of what would have become of me if I’d never met him. We spent as many weekends as possible and the all the major holidays at the Hilton Head house. When Chelsea arrived in my life, she fit right in. Sebastian, Jeffrey and Zoila all welcomed her into our strange little family with open arms ... especially Zoila. Chelsea was still a little leery of men after suffering so many beatings from her stepfather, and she and Zoila developed a very close relationship.

When I was sixteen, I developed a mad crush on Bastian. My counselor assured me that it wasn’t out of the ordinary for a girl my age to have those kinds of feelings for someone who’d done as much for me as Bastian had. She told me to wait it out and try not to do anything too foolish. I don’t know how foolish I was around him, but he never changed the way he treated me. The schoolgirl crush faded eventually ... thank god!

In January of 1981, when I turned seventeen, I sat for and passed the GED exam. That summer, I got a job working in the mailroom of the building that housed the Fulton County courts and district attorney’s office. I enjoyed having a real job and starting squirreling away my money. Chelsea was working retail, and we had big plans to get an apartment when I turned eighteen ... just the two of us.

In September of 1981, the current district attorney for Fulton County approached Sebastian and offered him a job. He was an old friend of Bastian’s father and was looking for someone to groom to take over for him. Since Katherine’s was basically running itself, Bastian accepted, anxious for a new challenge.

Chelsea and I didn’t end up moving into our own apartment until she turned eighteen and I was nineteen ... it was the end of January 1983. Bastian fought us every step of the way and, of course, hated the apartment we picked out. It wasn’t in the best part of town, but we couldn’t afford to stay where he’d like us to be. He even threatened to move Jeffrey and Zoila into the main house so the two of us could have the carriage house. We were a little tempted by that, but it wasn’t enough independence for the two of us ... or enough distance for me. I needed to put some distance between Sebastian and myself. I didn’t have the schoolgirl giddiness around him anymore, but I had to admit in my quiet moments when I was being honest with myself ... that I’d fallen in love with him. My feelings no longer were feelings that a young girl has for her older brother. I loved him ... his goodness, the way he accepted Chelsea into our little family, the way he loved Admiral and Zoila and Jeffrey. Most importantly, the way he loved me. But I knew he’d never look at me like he did Eleanor. When he looked at me he saw a baby sister, not a woman to spend the rest of his life with. Besides, Bastian was born to be a father and that was something I could never give him.

I never told anyone about these feelings, not even Chelsea. But she guessed it early on. When we moved into our apartment, Bastian and Jeffrey spent the day helping us. Then Zoila showed up that evening with dinner. Jeffrey and Zoila left after dinner, while Bastian hung around for a while. When he finally left, he hugged and kissed Chelsea on the cheek and I walked him out to his car. He pulled me into his arms while I braced myself to fight the emotions running through me. I’m going to miss having my Sammy around the house, he whispered into my ear. His voice had the thick husky quality that made my heart pound. He released me and set me away from him roughly, got into his car and sped away, keeping his face averted. I always wished I’d been able to see the look on his face that night.

When I walked into our apartment, Chelsea stood there with her arms wide open and I walked right into them. C’mere, my little broken-hearted friend. We spent the rest of that evening, our first night as independent women and roommates, telling each other our deepest darkest secrets.

Sebastian was working as an assistant district attorney. He and one of the other attorneys shared an administrative assistant. She retired in the summer of 1984. I applied for the job and got it. I was moving up in the world! My boss in the mailroom was sorry to see me go, so I recommended Chelsea for the job. He told me to ask her to apply. She did and moved in to my old position. Despite my conflicted feelings for Bastian, I loved being at work all day with my two very best friends!

Samantha? He’s cleared to go. Can you take him today? the veterinarian for the animal shelter asked.

Absolutely, I can’t wait! He’s going to have the best home! I glanced down at my watch. I just need to finish spraying down these kennels and I’ll be in to get him.

Just after Thanksgiving last year, we’d had to put our brave Admiral down ... I still couldn’t bear to think about it. He was old, nearly blind, could barely hear and his hips were giving out on him. Sebastian and I held him when he was given the injection. Both of us cried all the way home from the vet’s that evening. When Bastian pulled in to the parking lot of our apartment, he shut off the car and pulled me into his arms where we sat for almost half an hour. The loss was horrible ... second only to losing Phil, Gram and Beth. But this time it was a little bit easier having someone to share my grief with. You should come home with me tonight, Sammy. You shouldn’t be alone after this.

My heart raced at the thought, but I knew he was just being kind ... he probably wanted the comfort of Eleanor’s warm body in his bed. I pulled away from him and put on a brave face. I’m not alone, Bas. I have my Chels. A warm feeling washed over me when I realized it was true ... I had two amazing friends who loved me. When I walked into our apartment, I could smell that Chelsea had made me a fresh batch of peanut butter chocolate chip cookies ... my favorite. She sat up all night and held my hand while I told her every wonderful story about Admiral I could think of.

The Saturday before Christmas, an eight to ten-week-old tri-color collie pup was brought in to the animal shelter. He’d been struck by a car and had a broken leg. They were going to put him to sleep, but so soon after losing Admiral, I couldn’t stand the idea of another beautiful collie being put down just for a broken leg. I talked to the vet at the shelter and agreed to pay for his treatment, figuring I would be eating a lot of dinners at Bastian’s house to make up for the groceries I would have to forego. On Christmas morning, I told Bastian that he had another gift coming ... it would just be a little late.

After finishing up in the kennels, I walked in to the part of the shelter reserved for the sick animals. When the puppy saw me, he got up and pranced around as much as he could with one of his hind legs in a cast. You ready to get out of here, little man? He barked at me and wagged his tail.

I carried him out to the parking lot, and set him carefully in the passenger seat of my Volkswagen bug. He lay down in the seat trying to act brave, but I could see him trembling. I reached over and scratched him behind the ears like Admiral used to love. Don’t worry, little one, I’m taking you to your new home. Sebastian is going to take such good care of you. He knows how to care for someone with a broken leg after a car accident ... trust me, I know.

I pulled in to the parking lot of our apartment and honked the horn, which earned me a couple of dirty looks. C’mon, Chels, I muttered. I was so excited to give the puppy to Bastian.

About five minutes, a couple of more honks, two dirty looks and one middle finger later, she came trotting down the steps from our second-story apartment. I grinned to myself as she closed the front door behind her and then, predictably, had to run back in to get whatever she’d forgotten. Chelsea was tall. Well, tall to me, but, of course, everyone was tall to me ... I’d topped out at 5 feet. Chelsea was around 5’7". She had long thick auburn hair and impossibly green eyes. I thought she was beautiful, but she told me I was biased. Maybe I was ... she was the first girlfriend I’d ever had, and I adored her.

I have to ride in the back? She looked a little put out.

Get in! Are you kidding me? He’s got a busted leg, and you want me to make him move?

She got in and I pulled out into traffic. God, I can’t believe I’m going with you anyway. I’m the last person Bastian’s gonna wanna see, she whined from the back seat.

I laughed out loud. It can’t have been that bad!

Really? He kept asking me how long it’d been since I’d seen an eye doctor!

I rolled my eyes ... again, wishing more than anything that I could’ve seen that! Did you talk to the landlord today, Chels? Are we all set for next weekend?

All set ... oh, and the news gets better! You know the unit I originally wanted? The one right next to ours? I glanced in the rearview mirror and nodded. It’s going to be available after all, so that’s where I’m moving. We’re going to be next-door neighbors!

Perfect! We should bake him some cookies this weekend to thank him. Chelsea and I had decided that to be real grown-up, mature adults we each needed our own place, so she was moving into the apartment right next to ours. I could afford the two-bedroom apartment that we currently lived in on my own better, and she would move into the one-bedroom unit next door. Sebastian thought we were ridiculous. Oh, and Chelsea? The news gets even better yet! Guess who I roped in to helping us move?

Oh, god, my driving instructor? she groaned, leaned across the front seat and petting the puppy.

Well, yeah, duh, but guess who else? None other than the handsome Jacob Murphy ... the one you’ve been eyeing from afar! Jake was the other assistant district attorney that I worked for, and Chelsea wasn’t the only one doing the eyeing. He always came up with some lame excuse to need to come over to my desk when she delivered the mail to our office or just stopped by on her break.

You are the best, Sam!

Don’t you forget it! I felt her move behind my seat and begin messing with my hair. Stop! What are you doing?

I’m getting you all pretty for Mister Sebastian, as momma Z would say. You’re excited to see him, right? C’mon, Sam, when was the last time you saw him ... not counting at work?

I shrugged my shoulders. Christmas, I guess.

Mm-hmm, but who’s keeping track, right?

I didn’t feel like continuing this conversation. She was getting a little too close for comfort. Stop, now.

She released my hair and sat back, a little miffed. Fine, but I’m not stupid, Sam, he looks at you differently... he can’t take his eyes off...

Stop it! I glanced in the rearview mirror and immediately regretted my outburst when I saw the hurt in her eyes. Sorry, Chels, but I have a hard enough time keeping those feelings locked up. I don’t need you encouraging them. For whatever reason, he’s devoted to Eleanor. Apparently he likes the anorexic model type so what would he want with me?

Um, a real honest to goodness woman with a few curves to grab onto in bed ... that’s what! Hmm, I had plenty of those if he wanted them. I glanced down to my chest ... my breasts never did go back to their original size after losing Beth; they’d definitely kept their fullness. And, for all the swimming I did for my leg, I carried an extra twenty pounds that apparently I’d never lose, making up my full hips and large behind. Chelsea said that was how women were supposed to be built. I smiled, thinking how pleased Phil would have been that my breasts stayed large. No wonder he was the perfect man for me ... he appreciated my assets ... both of them.

We were both quiet. Our eyes met in the rearview mirror and we collapsed in fits of laughter. The puppy even wagged his tail at our silliness.

When we pulled up in front of Bastian’s house, Chelsea let out a whoop. Oh, Sam, look who’s here! She pointed at Eleanor’s silver Volvo parked in the drive. She is gonna hate this!

I grinned and reached over to calm the pup. We must be living right, Chels. Okay, you stay out here with the puppy, while I go get Bastian.

She groaned. Shit, that means I’m gonna miss out on Eleanor’s ‘delight’ at seeing you walk in unannounced. We both looked up at the porch and laughed. Too late!

Zoila was coming down the steps of the porch with her arms outstretched. There’s my angel girls! Get out of there, you two. Momma’s missed you! We both obediently got out of the car, and endured a huge Zoila bear hug. It’s not right, you two not living here. All the extra rooms in this big house, and you two paying rent for some horrible little apartments... it’s not right, I tell you! Chelsea and I grinned and rolled our eyes at each other. Momma Zoila misses her girls! Chelsea, give momma Z a kiss!

We miss you too, Z. Chelsea planted a big kiss on her cheek. I try and try to get Sam to visit more often, but you know how she is...

I shot a dirty look at my best friend as Zoila turned to me and placed her palm on my cheek. Oh, my Samantha, honey. I don’t like this. You and Sebastian ... things are strained.

Chelsea’s and my smiles faded ... again, things were getting a little too close to home. Don’t be silly, Zoila. We’re fine, but we see each other every day at work. Where is the lord of the manor? The three of us linked arms and walked inside.

When we got inside, we followed Zoila into Bastian’s office. Look who’s here, she announced happily.

It was beautiful to watch the totally different reactions play out on Bastian and Eleanor’s faces. Eleanor looked up, scowled and then quickly covered up with a completely fake saccharine sweet smile, which I returned with one of my own. When Bastian looked up, his eyes softened when ours met, and then he started smiling what I’d come to think of as my smile, beginning with the left side of his mouth. I had to remind my heart to keep beating. There’s my girl, he smirked over at Chelsea, and Speed Racer!

I laughed. I hear she’s ready to take her test.

Bastian raised his eyebrows. Um, yeah, as long as the course they use is lined with old tires like the go-karts tracks!

Chelsea rolled her eyes. Oh, you two are so funny! Sebastian, Sam told me that we’re going to be best friends forever, so I don’t really see a need to get a license.

Oh, you two! Sebastian will never be ready to settle down and raise a family with me as long as he’s still parenting you girls! The room went quiet. I’m pretty sure Eleanor was trying to be funny and join in the banter with the rest of us, but she was neither the funny nor the bantering type.

I turned away from her and broke the silence. Anyway, Bastian. Chelsea was about to burst out laughing at Eleanor’s faux pas. Your Christmas present is here. I have it out in the car. All of a sudden I couldn’t control my excitement and grabbed his hand. C’mon!

As I pulled Bastian behind me to the front door, I heard Chelsea say, Eleanor, why don’t we stay in here and give them a moment. I love you, Chels, I thought. Why could I think the words but never say them?

I practically flew down the steps of the porch, and started digging in my jacket pocket for the car keys. Whoa, Sammy, slow down, Bastian laughed. "I haven’t seen you this excited in... well, I don’t know if I’ve ever seen you this excited!"

Close your eyes, Bas! He did, and I walked around to the passenger door and helped the pup down to the ground. I led him around to where Bastian was standing, and took his hand and closed it around the leash. Okay, open them now.

He opened his eyes and looked down. Sammy, he whispered, and his eyes looked a little misty. He got down on his knees and the puppy hesitantly sniffed his face, and then began covering it in puppy kisses.

He loves you, I breathed. Bastian looked up, not hearing me. He loves you, I repeated, louder. He was hit by a car and dropped off at the shelter with a broken leg. They were going to put him down, but, well, I thought this place didn’t seem like home without a collie around. Besides, every little boy, I reached out to brush that piece of hair from his face, should have the joy of raising a puppy at least once in his life.

Bastian stood up, towering over me. So, now that we have a collie again, maybe you’ll be around a little more often, too? This place doesn’t seem like home without my Sammy around it, either.

I knelt down and fussed with the puppy, not trusting myself to look up into his handsome face. My heart couldn’t take it when he spoke like that, which is why I didn’t come around as often anymore. Let’s let him off the leash and let him explore a little.

We watched him quietly. He’s beautiful, Sam. I nodded. C’mere. He pulled me into his arms. I tried to relax against him, telling myself, it’s okay, Sam, it’s Bastian. How many countless nights did he hold and comfort me after those horrible dreams? How many times did I stand in front of him in the Atlantic Ocean at Hilton Head, his hands holding tight on my hips, and brace myself against his strong safe body while the waves battered the front of me? He was safe ... he was home ... but things were different now. The way his hands were moving under my jacket and across my back felt different. They drifted lower than they used to and pulled me impossibly closer in a more intimate manner. My breath caught when I felt him bury his face where my neck and shoulder met ... that was new, too. I copied him, and breathed in the smell of his soap and shampoo and... just his smell. I could feel the heat of his breath against my neck, and knew he was feeling the heat of my breath on his. Then, an eternity and at the same time a split-second later, I felt his lips move and heard, Thank you, Sammy. Each syllable felt like a feather-soft kiss on my sensitive neck.

My tongue darted out to moisten my dry lips, and I felt his body shiver as it barely licked his neck. You’re welcome, Bas, I feather-kissed him back. One of my hands had entwined itself in his hair and the other ran up and down the muscles in his back, while his hands continued their assault on my back. Sam, stop, it’s Bastian! I pulled away from him, but he would only release me so far. His arms still held me close to him. I looked up into his eyes, trying to calm my breathing. His beautiful brown eyes were fixed on my parted lips. Bas, I breathed, while inside my mind I was screaming, kiss me, please, kiss me, Bastian!

Cold reality pierced our private moment. I heard the door open and Chelsea scolding, Eleanor, for Christ’s sake, give them a minute...

Followed by Eleanor, Oh, a puppy... great... Sounding like she thought it was anything but.

Chelsea

I watched Sam practically drag Bastian from the house. She was so happy and I loved seeing her like that. When the front door closed, I looked over at Eleanor and gave her a smug little grin. Sam wins, again, I told her in my head. From the look on her face I could see she was well aware of that fact. I wondered if Eleanor would ever realize what I had long ago: Sam would always come first for Bastian, even if Sam herself didn’t realize it.

I stood watching my best friend give Bastian the puppy. I loved her. I swear, if she asked me to kill this little shrew, Eleanor, I wouldn’t think twice! I had Sam to thank for the ‘family’ I had: Sam, Bastian, Jeffrey and Zoila. I remembered all the nights I spent crying in her arms, homesick, and wondering what was wrong with me that my own mother wouldn’t stand up to a man and defend me from his daily beatings. Then, after we moved into our apartment, and I decided it was past time for me to shed my virginity, it was Sam who reluctantly sat in the living room of our apartment drinking beer with Beau Harlowe, while I awkwardly seduced his twin brother, Court, after inviting them over at the end of a Braves game. Unfortunately, not only did I lose my virginity to him, but also (even more foolishly) I lost my heart to him for about six months. I thought I was madly in love with Court, and that my life was over when I realized I meant nothing more to him than a fun tussle between the sheets. Who was there to help me through that? Sam, of course.

Chelsea? Ugh, why do we have to talk, I wondered, as she interrupted my thoughts. I understand you and Sam are, well, splitting up, so to speak?

What are you babbling on about, Eleanor? Sam made the effort to be civil with her, but I’d given that up long ago. I couldn’t stand her and the way she treated my girl. I refused to play nice.

Well, I understand you’re moving out of the apartment the two of you share. I would imagine that only makes sense ... two women possessed of questionable morals... Well, I would imagine things could get awkward, trying to make do with one apartment.

Eleanor, dear? I don’t have your Ivy League education; so if you want to insult me, let’s just get right down to it. Are you implying that Sam and I need yet another apartment to accommodate all of our sleeping partners? She raised her eyebrows as it to say, if the shoe fits. Yeah, we thought the revolving doors we installed on our bedrooms would do the trick, but what’s a girl to do?

She rolled her eyes. What a moron she was! If she only knew that, between the two of us, Sam and I had been with exactly two men (well, two and a half if you counted Joe), and that one of them was one of her beloved younger brothers! Good Christ, why was I wasting my breath on her?

I turned away from her to check on Sam. Just in time to see Bastian take her in his arms. Oh Sam, go for it, girl! I could see how tense she was, and her hand resting at his neck was trembling. Hmm, I grinned, this was not your typical ‘thanks for the Christmas puppy’ hug. I almost felt uncomfortable, like I was intruding on a very intimate moment. I looked away when he pulled her closer and they buried their faces in each other’s necks. Uh, Eleanor, look at Bastian’s new puppy! I backed away from the window. I wanted her to get an unobstructed view of this!

A new puppy! Oh, for crying out loud, it’s been so nice without a smelly dog around here... she hurried over to the window and stopped mid-sentence. I grinned as I watched the color drain from her face. We both watched Sam’s hand sensuously comb through Bastian’s hair, while her other one stroked the muscles in his back. I laughed as she turned and almost trampled me in her desperation to get to the front door.

I was right behind her, hollering, Eleanor, for Christ’s sake, give them a minute... Damn her! If she hadn’t interrupted right then, it looked as though a kiss was imminent ... stupid heifer! Oh, god, Sam looked a wreck!

Oh, a puppy... great. I rolled my eyes, thankful that none of us were diabetic. The sugar coming off of her would’ve sent one into a coma! Oh, crap, I had to get over to my girl. I barely kept myself from running to her side. When I got there, she grabbed my hand ... tightly. Her little body was shaking like a leaf. When she looked at me, her eyes were pleading. I knew she wanted me to get her out of here, quickly. Sebastian? Oh, god, could she not just shut up? Chelsea was just telling me that the girls are getting separate apartments, but I never got a real clear explanation why, she practically purred at him. God, how I hated her!

Bastian finally pulled his eyes from Sam and, swear to god, looked at Eleanor like she was from another planet. If Sam weren’t suffering so, I would have really been enjoying this! Uh, yeah. Jake and I are helping them move next Saturday. Isn’t that right, Sam? She nodded, not meeting his eyes. No, I’m not real sure why they need separate apartments, either. He looked pointedly at the two of us.

I wrapped my arm around Sam’s shoulders. We just think that for us to be independent women, that that’s what we need to do! Sam nodded, looking miserable. "Besides, it’s almost been ten years since she left everything and everyone in West Virginia." I gave her a quick squeeze.

What the hell does that have to do with anything? Bastian’s good humor seemed to have faded with Eleanor’s interruption, too.

Shit, Chels, stop it ... now, Sam said loud enough for only me to hear. I was the only one she’d ever told about what Joe had told her that night, and that she had basically invited him to look her up in ten years. It doesn’t mean anything. She’s just being silly. So, Bastian, any ideas for a name? Oh, she was good, changing the subject like that.

Bastian’s eyes immediately softened at the sound of her voice, and he smiled crookedly. I don’t know, Sam. I’ll have to think about it, because, you know, it’ll have to be...

The three of us finished his sentence as one, Perfect. We all laughed, Eleanor even laughed, which made me laugh all the harder because she had no idea what she was laughing at. Things like that were always so important to Sam; names and firsts had to be perfect for her.

The puppy wandered around the corner of the house and Bastian took after him with Eleanor not far behind, her ridiculously high heels sinking into the grass with every step. Sam grabbed for my hand again. Are you okay, sweetie? Hmph, I knew the answer to that.

Just then, Zoila appeared on the porch. I’ve already set two more places for dinner, girls!

Chelsea, please, Sam groaned and leaned her head on my shoulder. You’ve gotta get me home ... please? Let’s just stop and pick up a pizza on the way, my treat.

Oh, momma Z, we would love to, Sam was going to owe me for this, because I loved Zoila’s cooking, but we already had plans to meet some girls from work for dinner tonight. Who was I kidding? Sam and I were hermits ... we really didn’t have other friends, outside of our ‘family’ that consisted of Bastian, Jeffrey and Zoila.

Thanks, I owe you, Sam whispered to me.

Samantha

I stood back and watched Chelsea hug and kiss Zoila. I love you, momma Z.

Oh, Chelsea angel, I love you, too.

Look at that, Sam, seems easy enough. So why can’t I do it? Why can’t I tell these amazing people how I feel about them? Just the thought of uttering those three words set my stomach into knots and leaves me fighting that old nemesis of mine: panic.

It was good to see you, Zoila. I promise, we’ll come back when we can stay longer, I lied.

She wouldn’t let me escape that easily. She walked up to me and placed her palm on my cheek. Oh, Samantha angel, why do you make my heart ache?

I put on a brave face. Because you’re a silly old lady that isn’t happy unless you’re worrying about someone, that’s why! I’m good, Zoila. Except for the fact that I keep lying to you! I turned away from her quickly and opened the door to the car. Get in, Chels!

Sam! Shit, we’d almost made a clean getaway. Hey, where’re you going? You... y’all just got here.

I shot Chelsea an apologetic look in advance. Chelsea is way behind in her packing. Then I remembered the lie she told Zoila. And she made some plans for us with some friends for dinner. I felt something at my foot and looked down into the face of the puppy. Mine was probably the most familiar face he knew. I melted a bit and knelt down. Hey, little man, don’t worry, you’ll see me again. Bastian, Zoila and Jeffrey will take good care of you, sweetie. I scratched his chest until his lids sat at half-mast and then looked up at Bastian. Next time I see you, you’ll have the perfect name, your daddy promised me.

Sam... he began.

Okay. I stood up quickly, walked around him and got into my car. Y’all have a good evening. See you at work on Monday, Bastian. I turned over the engine and put the car in gear. Chelsea reached over and took my hand. When we got out on the road, I squeezed her hand and looked over at her. Chels, you know how I feel about you, right?

She squeezed my hand back. Mm-hmm, we all do. It’s just, well, sometimes it’d be nice to hear it.

I’m sorry. We rode in silence the rest of the way home.

Sebastian

El, stop ... hold on... I rolled off of her and reached for the bedside table.

"No, darling, tonight I need to feel you. Put it away, honey."

Well, as tempting as that is, I just became a new dad to the puppy today. That’s plenty for now.

Huh? Oh, dear, didn’t I tell you? I know I did! Why was she acting so strange? I’m back on the pill. No more condoms for us.

No, I’d have remembered that. When did that happen? Last time you were on the pill, you said it made you sick...

You just get too busy at work to keep track of this kind of thing. I know I told you. It’s a different brand or strength or whatever. He put me on them last month, and I’m fine. Now, come here!

I stayed on my back, suddenly out of the mood. Part of me didn’t believe her, and then I felt guilty for not believing her, and then I wondered what on earth I was doing in a relationship with someone I couldn’t trust. She rolled over next to me, her hand moving slowly over my chest. Her other hand started combing through my hair and all I could think of was the way Sammy’s hand had trembled this afternoon before it lost itself in my hair. El was kissing my chest. I closed my eyes, remembering how Sam’s full soft breasts felt pressed up against my chest, how her breath felt against my neck and my body’s electrical response when her tongue touched the skin of my neck.

Suddenly I was back in the mood. Eleanor gave a little surprised cry as I grabbed her and pushed her roughly back on the bed and entered her fast. Her hands were running over the muscles in my back ... the same path Sam’s hand had traveled this afternoon. I kept my eyes closed, picturing Sammy’s parted lips that I was so close to capturing with my own ... the way the lower lip trembled with her desire and the little constant sore in the corner, where she nibbled when she was nervous. Sebastian! Oh, my god! Eleanor was clinging to me, crying out to me. I was pounding into her, hornier than I’d been in a long time. When I came, it almost hurt. My heart clenched ... Sam’s face was all I could see. Her hand placing the leash in mine. I bit down on the inside of my cheek to keep from yelling out what my mind was thinking: Sammy!

I looked down at El’s satisfied face grinning up at me, withdrew and rolled off of her. Honey, that was truly amazing... She reached out to me. Great, now she wanted to snuggle.

I pulled away, sat up and pulled my boxers on. The puppy was asleep in his dog bed and I nudged him with my toe to wake him up. The pup looks like he needs to go out. I’m going to take him for a walk.

Chapter Two

Samantha

I looked forward to returning to work. Work was a safe place; Bastian and I were okay at work. On Thursday, Chelsea had to be at work early, so I went, too, since we rode together. I sat down at my desk and noticed the light in Bastian’s office was on. I glanced over at the clock ... 7:00 a.m. ... and decided to investigate. I knocked on the door. C’mon in! I opened the door. Come in quick and shut the door, please.

I closed the door behind me, turned around and broke out in a big smile. There’s my little man!

Bastian laughed. Yep, here I am! Oh, you mean him. I was already on my knees accepting kisses from the puppy.

What’re you doing here so early, and what’s this handsome devil doing here?

Well, Zoila and Jeffrey were going to be gone most of the day today, and, he blushed a little. I’d never seen Bastian blush before ... it was cute, of course. I’ve become a little attached to him, and couldn’t stand the thought of him being alone all day.

I couldn’t look at Bastian, so I loved on the puppy some more. I told you he’d be a good daddy, little man.

So, what’re you doing here so early, Sammy? My head jerked up at my nickname, he never called me that here. He laughed, It’s 7:00 in the morning. I think our secret is still safe.

Chels had some team-building thing she had to be here early for, I laughed and rolled my eyes. She was really looking forward to it.

Bastian laughed. I’ll bet. I can’t imagine our Chelsea doing touchy-feely exercises with the other mailroom staff.

No, I’m guessing she’s hating life right about now. I stood up and looked over at him sitting behind his desk, the top button of his shirt open and his untied tie hanging around his neck ... stop, Sam! Why couldn’t things go back to the way they were when I was fifteen? It wasn’t awkward then, we were just best friends. Well, I-I’ll be out here if you need anything. Duh, Sam, of course you will, it’s where you work! God, I was a moron sometimes.

I reached out for the doorknob. Hey, I’m going to be in court all morning and probably most of the afternoon. Thank god, I thought. Would you check on the little guy? Maybe sneak him out for a walk on your breaks?

Of course. Does the ‘little guy’ have a name yet?

No, I’m a horrible father. I promise, by this weekend he will.

Jake ran by my desk around 8:30. Sam, follow me, I’m late and can give you some assignments on the run.

I rolled my eyes, as this was not an uncommon occurrence ... Jake was always late. I got up and followed him into his office. He was already at his desk digging in his briefcase for something. I stood in the doorway, trying not to laugh. He’d already forgotten I was there in his frenzy to find whatever it was he was looking for. I finally cleared my throat and he looked up, grinning sheepishly. We’re still on for Saturday, right?

I rolled my eyes, again. Uh-huh. It’s not a date, Jake. She’s moving and we just need strong men.

Uh, Bastian told me she’s moving one door down? What’s up, Laverne and Shirley have a falling out?

No. By the way, we hate that you two call us that.

Well, what’s the point? That’s just a waste of money ... paying two rents instead of splitting one.

Jake was the practical one and hated waste ... especially of money, but I wasn’t in the mood for a lecture. Okay, well, your opinion has been duly noted. You asked me to follow you in here about work, I thought...

Yeah, yeah, you two do whatever you want ... as long as Saturday’s still a go.

Mm-hmm, was there some actual work you wanted to discuss?

I took down some notes while he told me what he needed me to do while he was in court. Jacob was a nice guy with a raging crush on Chelsea. He had a baby face with big dimples and sandy brown hair that wouldn’t behave for him at all. He always looked to me like someone had just come by and tousled his hair. His big blue eyes always seemed to be full of teasing and mischief. Since he’d moved into the office next to Bastian, they had become good friends. They both enjoyed running and spent every free lunch hour together doing that. He wasn’t as tall as Bastian, probably six one or two, but had the nice body Bastian had from all the running they did.

Jake stopped mid-sentence and I looked up from my notes. What the fuck was that?

Language, I scolded.

He rolled his eyes. I’ve got a mom, Sam! There, did you hear that?

I smiled, the puppy was whining. Oh, Bastian brought a friend to work with him today.

Well, you’re smiling, so it’s not Eleanor, he teased. What’s going on?

Didn’t he tell you about his late Christmas present from me?

The puppy? He’s here today? Jake was out of his chair in a flash. We were done working, I guess. I returned to my desk while he went into Bastian’s office to meet the puppy.

Sam, I need you! My heart pounded. For crying out loud, Sam, not everything he says has a hidden meaning!

I carefully opened and closed the door to keep the puppy from escaping. What’s up?

Jake looked up from where he was sitting on the floor with the puppy draped over his lap. Perry Mason still can’t tie a tie to save his life, and Zoila had already left this morning before he was dressed.

Bastian shot him a dirty look then looked over at me. Sam? he held out the ends of his tie to me.

I walked over and grabbed his tie, keeping as much distance as possible between us. How do you know how to tie ties? Jake asked.

Bastian and I answered unison, Zoila.

Jake laughed. Zoila’d probably do Sam’s job for less money.

You’re not exactly breaking the bank with what you pay me. I glanced at the clock. Shouldn’t somebody be in court? Jake looked at the clock, jumped up, scaring the puppy, and went running out.

Sam, move this way. I’m running late, too, and need to look over some papers. Bastian’s hands grabbed my hips and steered me closer to his desk ... and closer to him. I took a deep breath and concentrated on keeping my hands from shaking.

Hold still, I said softly. And stand up straight, otherwise it’s going to be crooked. He stood up and I concentrated on his tie, knowing that he was looking down at me. I snuck a glance up at him. He had an amused look on his face. What?

His smile faded and my hands stopped and rested on his chest. Are we all right, Sam?

I went back to his tie, finished and smoothed out the material of his shirt. We’re fine, now go put the bad guys behind bars. I turned and went back to my desk.

I was typing up some dictation for Jake, when a paper clip bounced off my nose. I looked up to see Chelsea standing at my desk, grinning. I removed my headphones and grinned back at her. So, did you survive?

She rolled her eyes dramatically. Good Christ, Sam! I thought we might have to join hands and sing a couple verses of Kumbaya when we finished! I laughed.

Mr. Wonderful and Bastian already left for lunch, I informed her so she wouldn’t strain her neck trying to see if Jake was around.

She shrugged her shoulders like she couldn’t care less. What’re we doing for lunch?

Oh, I’ve got a treat for you! I stood up and grabbed her hand, pulling her over to the closed door to Bastian’s office. We need to eat in here today!

I opened the door. The puppy was sleeping in his bed that Bastian brought from home. Oh, my god, Chelsea whispered. What’s the baby doing here?

I explained the situation. Chelsea went down to the little lunch cart that came by the building every day, and bought us some sandwiches. We closed ourselves in Bastian’s office with the puppy. After we finished eating, we took him outside and walked around with him while he explored and did his business.

When we got back to Bastian’s office, the puppy curled back up in his bed and Chelsea and I sat down. I glanced at my watch and grinned at her. Hmm, just about my favorite part of the day!

You’re crazy! You want lunch to be over so you can get back to work? Where did I go wrong with you?

No, no, it’s not that. I started giggling. I was about to turn twenty-three, but Chelsea and I could still carry on like teenagers at the drop of a hat.

She started giggling, too. What’s up? I know it’s not the UPS guy, because he stops by the mailroom around 3:00. Why do you think my break has to wait until 3:15?

Oh, yeah. I remember him. Is it still Greg?

Mm-hmm! Thank god we live in the south because he looks good in his little brown shorts!

Yep! I think he’s kind of dumb though...

The dumber the better, Sam! We collapsed in laughter. When we stopped laughing, Chelsea reminded me, Hey, so spill. Why is this the best part of your day?

Oh, yeah, sorry ... rambling. She nodded. Bastian and Jake should be back from their run any minute now. Um, there is just about nothing hotter than a good-looking sweaty man!

Oh, Sam, I do declare, she exclaimed in her best southern drawl and fanned herself with her napkin.

Well, I’m just saying... I used to love the look and smell of Phil when he’d had a particularly strenuous delivery day in the warehouse of the feed store. I couldn’t keep my hands off of him in the car on the drive home.

Ugh, nope, I can’t go there, Sam. I need my man fresh out of the shower; the back of his hair still a little wet...

Thanks for the run, Bastian, Jake announced loudly. I’m going to take a nice shower and freshen up, you know?

Oh, god, I groaned, when I looked up and saw the two of them in the doorway grinning like a couple of Cheshire cats. How long have y’all been standing there?

Bastian walked over, bent down and rubbed his sweaty cheek against mine. Not long. You wanna go for a ride in the car with me before I get cleaned up?

I stood up, feigning annoyance. Eavesdropping is a bad habit to get in to.

I followed Chelsea out of Bastian’s office and rolled my eyes as she called out to Jake, Jacob, you know where to find me after your shower.

Nice, Chels, real classy. I could hear her laughter until she got on the elevator.

Around 2:45 that afternoon, I heard whining coming from Bastian’s office. I was anxious to get the tape transcribed that Jake left for me, and didn’t want to take the time to take the puppy outside. I tried ignoring him. That lasted all of thirty seconds ... I can’t stand to listen to an animal crying. I opened the door to the office and smiled. He looked so sad, sitting all alone in his bed. I walked over and knelt down next to him. Hey, pretty boy. I scratched behind his ears. He leaned against me and practically purred. You’re a little lover aren’t you, sweetie? Your daddy needs to give you a name. Yes, he does! He tried to crawl into my lap. No, come on now, daddy’ll be back pretty soon, I expect. Momma can’t just sit in here with you all afternoon, baby. I leaned over and kissed him, then stood up, turned and walked smack into Bastian, almost falling over.

He grabbed my hips and steadied me against his body. He was smiling down into my flustered face and said, Hey, you two, daddy’s home. The puppy jumped up on Bastian and he released me to fuss over his baby. I took a deep steadying breath and returned to my desk.

Chapter Three

Samantha

I opened my eyes and smiled. It was still dark out and it was the weekend. I snuggled in closer to Comfort, wrapping my arms and legs around his soft warmth. I heard a crash. My eyes flew open and I groaned. It was the weekend all right, but it was moving day. I heard something else fall, followed by, Shit! I grinned. Chelsea was not the most patient of souls. I heard her walking down the hall to my bedroom. I quickly rolled over with my back to the door and braced myself. The door to my room opened and I felt her weight on the other side of the mattress. Bastian had given me the king-size bed when I moved out, so she had a ways to go before getting to me. What the hell? Oh, for Christ’s sake! This damn bear! Move over, Comfort! I tried not to laugh. I know I have a best friend in this bed somewhere! I felt her arms wrap around my waist and tried not to tense up, unsuccessfully.

Good morning, Chels, I muttered into my pillow.

Good morning, Sam! I thought I’d brave your little fort that you build every night in this monstrous bed. This is the last time I’ll be able to do this!

You’re just going to be on the other side of that wall, goofy!

So! You act like you’re sad to see me go, right now! And, while you’re at it, turn around and hug me! Chelsea let me off the hook when it came to telling others that I loved them, but she refused to let me rebuff her physical displays of her affection. I rolled over and rested my head on her shoulder.

I am going to miss you, you know. I felt her nod. Somehow the teasing was gone from both of us and