Redefining Family: A Birthmother's Path to Wholeness

Written by A. K. Snyder

Narrated by A. K. Snyder

“This story is necessary in terms of bringing the beauty and agony of adoption out of the shadows.”

Written as a narrative to my daughter, I wanted her to have the whole story. Where she came from. Why I placed her for adoption. And how, for the next eighteen years, I hovered on the edges of her family, granted access by her generous parents, but always wanting more. More for her, and more for me. This daughter, who arrived before I was ready for her, redefined love and hope and family.

I am not ready, not able, to raise you.

Ten years too early, I need time to grow up.

To offer you, I have love.

And nothing else.

You need more than I have to give,

Unless I give you up.

To parents who are ready, waiting, to raise you.

Ten years wanting, with a ready home.

Parents who have love,

And everything else, too.

If I do it,

If I break my own heart to spare yours,

Will it work?

Will you be happier, healthier this way?

And will I ever be okay again?

This unconventional memoir tells the story of a kinship adoption from the perspective of a birthmother. The intimate narrative will break your heart, then heal it, with new perspectives on adoption, openness, and the complex ways we define family.  

• Language: English
• Publisher: Wandering River Press
• Release date: Jan 9, 2020
• ISBN: 9781734388602

Reviews for Redefining Family

[Sara Bates · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Moving.

[Tammy Laxen · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

From a fellow birthmom, thank you for writing this. A good representation of the love and heartache that exists even in open adoptions.