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Awakening
Awakening
Awakening
Audiobook10 hours

Awakening

Written by Bailey West

Narrated by Sable Lyn and Midnite Michael

Rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars

3.5/5

()

About this audiobook

Kemuel Azar and Queenie Montgomery have had a strong bond since they first formed a friendship in high school. Working together on a class project, they grew closer, finding common ground in their mutual appreciation of construction and interior design.

With their bond cemented, they graduate college and work in their respective fields for King Construction, Kemuel's family business. As they anticipate the change in ownership from Kemuel's grandfather to Kemuel, a sense of excitement fills the air, but it is tempered by the condition attached. For Kemuel to become the owner of the company, it is a requirement that
he marry Queenie. Faced with the prospect of losing the family business, Kemuel and Queenie agree to the arrangement. Will the marriage arrangement strengthen their bond or destroy it?
LanguageEnglish
Release dateAug 15, 2023
ISBN9798889569633
Awakening

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Reviews for Awakening

Rating: 3.6058042563482466 out of 5 stars
3.5/5

2,481 ratings96 reviews

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  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    As I read through this at 45, knowing so much more than I did at 14 (yet nowhere near enough), I am struck by the obliviousness to racism. Again and again, the black servants are referred to not by name but by position and even more frequently by, well, percent of blackness - the mulatto, the quadroon, etc.The Awakening speaks, in a time where it was unheard of, with great sensitivity to the sexual nature of women, to women feeling lost and trapped in their roles and disconnected from life. Yet there seems to be no feeling for the roles forced upon the former slaves and children of former slaves. It touches on the way that not every woman feels a longing for motherhood or a maternal instinct yet is forced to play that role. Yet it utterly ignores the dual burden placed on women of color to perform the bulk of the labor to raise the children of affluent white women while still performing all the labor of raising their own.The writing is lovely and evocative, but now more so than before, it tells me both the story she meant to tell and another of our ignorance of anyone's suffering but our own.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    I knew I started this book once long ago and it annoyed me, so I didn't get very far. At some point, however, I must have read it because scenes late in the book were so familiar. Loved it this time around.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    One of the most amazing experiences it was reading is this masterpiece of women's literature about a woman struggling to find her own place in a world of men, where not only her public view but also essentially her needs are exclusively dictated by her social roles, in this case as a wife and mother. It is not that it was a marvellous read, with such beautiful writing, it was the shock of thinking how little has actually changed since the 19th century status of a woman. Because even today women have to struggle with their roles as mothers, wives and workers. And if they so happen as to also have intellectual or artistic concerns, like painting in the case of Chopin's protagonist, Edna, then it is a constant battle with time and decision making, what to leave behind. Edna only understands that she can rely on no one else but herself in the end, and it is devastating to discover that not even her so called liberators would allow her the freedom they allegedly lead her to find. Although I am not in favour of suicide as a road to emancipation, I like to believe that Edna's drowning is not out of despair but an ultimate act of free will, a declaration of self-determination, a statement that she is eventually mistress of herself and, if she chooses, it is her prerogative to take away from her "rulers" the very object of their rule. The Awakening is really among the books I would like to have been able to read again for the first time, but it is also a book that you can read again and again, each time discovering something new to contemplate on.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    A woman on summer holiday with her husband and two little boys gains the attention of the resort owner's son. This flirtation sets off a realization in her that her life could be...more. And from there she begins to balk at the constrains that the life of a wife and mother place on her. In essence, she realizes that she's unhappy and she sets about to change that. It ends badly for her, because of course it does. The novel reads like a Greek myth in that sense: women who strive for independence, autonomy, or power of any kind generally don't make it out of the story alive. So I liked the book for its alignment with ancient myth, although in general I want my characters to get out of their heads and *do* more. It felt a bit like Madame Bovary but make it slightly less intolerable but also slightly less well written.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Pioneering feminist work bogged down by its emotionally distant atmosphere, without any room for complete immersion nor resonance, The Awakening tells the frustrating ambivalence and wavering desire of the unhappily married Edna Pontellier. Caught in the surging waters of domesticity, while living a comfortable life on its treacherously calm surface, she wades around for any sense of purpose. But she is tied by social norms, pulling her underneath. This is exacerbated by other women, wives and mothers both, swimming around her, docile and obedient, as they trap themselves happily within the borders of opportunities or lack thereof, entirely contented by the lacklustre life laid out before them. Be a wife, be a mother, they say. Be grateful, they say. But Edna could not accept such a fate, yet she does not know what she path to take for herself. She is neither an enthusiastic wife nor an enthusiastic mother. Kate Chopin writes it as an 'indescribable oppression, which seems to generate in some unfamiliar part of her (Edna's) consciousness'. So Edna moves her arms, tightens her muscles, does two, three strokes, cuts across these waters, 'she wanted to swim far out, where no woman had swum before.' Edna rebels in immoral and disagreeable ways. However, not even the temporary (false) freedom and (sly) satisfaction and (tyrannous) thrill provided by anything forbidden—as an aspiring painter, as a pining lover—satiates her soul. Every choice is impeded by a society only interested in making her a woman like a million others. What's left is to take the only thing she tightly clasps between her fingers; the only thing she owns, even if it has been (unsuccessfully )shaped into everyone's expectations. So she let the strong current swallow her, drag her down—willingly and wantonly for once.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    I came across this book when my nephew was reading it for school. First published in 1899, the book was famous (notorious) for its sympathetic portrayal of a woman in a loveless marriage who strays from her husband and responsibilities.The book was lost from view for more than 50 years, and only came back to notice when a Norwegian academic wrote about it.It's an OK book, nothing special. For me, the major interest was the historical context - the role of a woman and wife 120 years ago, and their limited opportunities to live a satisfying and productive life. While the role of women today may not be ideal, advances in education, employment, courtship and contraception mean that vastly fewer western women now face the stultifying existence of the main character of this book.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    A trailblazing novel in its time, kind of boring to the modern reader.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    I once tried to read this book, quite some years ago, when I wasn't ready for it and I didn't finish it. But today, many years older (and hopefully wiser), I finally understood it. And it was everything. While I didn't actually like anyone in the book, I have to admire Chopin's determination to write something like this, to write Edna's boldness in wanting to be more than just a wife and a mother.
    #booked2018 #feministclassic
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    A Book With Bad ReviewsI can only imagine that Kate Chopin's The Awakening received bad reviews due to its divergence from the morality of the era it was published in, because it is a well-written story which only hints at the indelicate thoughts and actions of its protagonist, Edna Pontellier. As a character she reminds me of Clarissa Dalloway or Mother from Doctorow's Ragtime, a dreamy woman who finds herself stifled by a romance-less marriage to a man who, typical of his age, possesses her as he does his house or furniture.The Awakening is a short, straight-forward tale, whose power comes from the anticipation and suspense Chopin builds in portraying Edna's budding realization that there is something missing in her life. The interplay between Edna and her two gentleman callers is a slow, entrancing waltz. Both men make love to Edna in the old-fashioned sense of the phrase - verbally, rather than physically - in sensuous (a favorite word of Chopin) flirtations that push the boundaries of acceptable behavior between a married woman and unattached men. Even the ending, easily foreseen, fits perfectly into the narrative.To enjoy this novel you must read it with a 19th century mentality. While readers of the time found it shocking and offensive, there is nothing even mildly titillating in it*. There are several scenes where Edna is alone with one of her paramours; these are so well written that you find yourself believing a tryst occurred but realize, upon a closer reading, that nothing more than kisses were exchanged. There is also a scene in which Edna visits a pregnant friend and stays for the birth, yet their is only the mildest of indications of what transpired.I could have assigned this as A Book You Can Read In A Day on my themed reading list; regardless, it is well worth including on your own list.* - My Dover Thrift Edition comes with a laughable warning to "[s]ensitive readers" who might be offended that Chopin uses the word darky (or perhaps black or mulatto - after reading the book I can't imagine what they're referring to) on several occasions in the novel. I expected the n-word, at a minimum, to merit such a silly forewarning. And in a version published in 1993, no less.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Regarded as highly scandalous when it was published in 1898, this story of a young wife who is bored with her lie as a proper wife and mother in late 19th Century New Orleans and seeks out her own independent life, seems fairly run of the mill in the 21st Century. It is, however, well written and held my interest from beginning to end.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    The written text was boring at times and the characters were not well developed but the story is highly impactful. I fully understand the the sentiments of the key character, Edna. The interests and desires of the individual are often trumped by societal expectations and pressures. It is not terribly surprising that Edna commits suicide, since life for her had become ruined by those she interacted with. I applaud her spirit. I recommend this book for anyone who is willing to think independently.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Required reading in too many English classes, normally I would hate such a text, but this actually is pretty good, and has always been very relevant. It stands the test of time like few do. Not my favorite period or writer, but among the best of each. Recommended.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Read in "The Awakening and Selected Short Stories"The novella The Awakening I found melancholy in the same way that Anna Karenina and Mrs. Dalloway were. The story has a lot in common with Anna Karenina, Madame Bovary & some other classics of this time; I can see that when it was first published in 1899 it might have been thought shocking or daring. However, just as with Anna, I found the main character Edna more annoying than sympathetic (although Edna was nowhere near as annoying as Anna!). I was much more sympathetic to Robert! I guess this is one instance to which my modern sensibilities just can't really relate.
  • Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
    2/5
    An appeasing novella, but dated and lacking in many instances. Altogether, did not enjoy very much.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    This was somewhat difficult to read, mainly because of the writing style of the time period, I think. I was overly dramatic. There were some lovely passages of description and I understood the point of the story, but the style was a little clumsy.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    WTF????? This book left me SHOOK. Also I guess I should add a trigger warning because Edna does struggle with not being able to see better days for herself and it did lead her to pick suicideEdna wants more out of life. After a vacation in the Mexican Gulf she goes home feeling unsatisfied with her role as dutiful wife and doting mother. Why? It all begins with an emotional affair she enters with a man named Robert Lebrun. When he sets off for Mexico Edna realizes how deep she is in her feelings for him and things just go downhill from there. Though Madame Adèle Ratignolle is a dear friend and a great role model to her she can't help but feel a stronger connection to Mademoiselle Reisz the type of woman she wishes she could've been.So this was part of the trifecta of IB/AP/Honors English Literature being swapped out from a pool of A Doll's House, Their Eyes Were Watching God, or I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings. Every year the English teacher would choose three of those books to read and analyze and all that jazz except when it came time for my group to study three of them, Awakening was not a part of the trio. But I kind of wish it had beat out Doll's House that one was really annoying to analyze.Honestly, this book was really close to getting a two because of how annoying I found Edna Pontellier but then it ended. Okay so with that out of the way what did I like? For one, I liked the exposition into Edna's life. She didn't have it all that bad but it wasn't ideal either especially for a woman that clearly wasn't happy as a wife or mother. It rang true to life. Also her love affair with music was just as juicy as her love affair with Alcée Arobin. The symbolism of certain things were also clever to the point I kicked myself for not noticing where it was all heading.So why such a low rating? I hated Edna. Yeah, I know, a good feminist would feel a connection with Edna and her breaking gender roles and all that but she was so childish. I'm all for a self aware character that knows they are different from what society expects from them but Edna's reactions to certain situations drove me mad. Okay so she's shocked that Robert's leaving, I get it, but did she have to go insane about it? Her lover wants her but she tries to reject him only to pounce on him the next chance she got. Her sister's getting married and she doesn't want to go because REASONS. To me it just felt like an excuse the author picked to get her to be alone and able to have her first physically sexual awakening. At some point Madame Adèle Ratignolle calls her out on her behavior and I had to take a pause and really think about it. Is it a good thing because I wasn't wrong that it's exactly how she was behaving? Or have I been conditioned just as Mdm R to perceive Edna's behavior as such? SHOOK.Also, I didn't think Mr. Pontellier was all that bad either. He did seem to care for her wellbeing but again, have I just been conditioned to think Edna the bad guy here or was Mr. P really just one of those nice white guys that wants us to clap for him just because he's not a bad guy? But then again I really liked Robert but was it just because he was able to act on what he wanted which made him so likeable, unlike Edna who couldn't do anything because of societal norms? - clearly I wish this had been used in my time at school because I have a lot to say about this book. But I'm sorry I didn't like it more.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    The plot of this American classic revolves around Edna Pontellier, the wife of a New Orleans businessman during the cusp of the 20th century, who feeling restrained by feminine social roles of the times and rebels in unorthodox ways.Imagine if Lucy and Ricky slept in the same bed during their 1950s sitcom. Although this book pales in comparison to today's nightly entertainment, it would have been considered risque for the time because of the social commentary, which is why it has been included on the banned book list. Although several archaic words had me checking the dictionary from time to time, the dated language interfered little in my enjoyment of this paragon of feminist literature.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Well written romantic. feminist tragedy. Considered a classic. The main character needed a good therapist. :-)
  • Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
    2/5
    I know this is suppose to be a huge book for feminism, but I didn't like it. She just seems so unsatisfied in every situation. I don't know why she became a mother in the first place, and I think committing suicide because you want to have an affair with someone that won't adjust their morals is pretty selfish. I didn't study this book at all so I'm probably way off the mark about a lot of it, but this is how it felt for me while reading.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    I loved this book when I first read it in college. I decided to reread it as my daughter was reading it for school and unfortunately it didn't move me this time. I found that the story moved very slowly. That I really didn't like the entitled characters. And the first time I read it I could identify with Edna. This time I really disliked Edna. Perhaps I could forgive her leaving a husband that she didn't like. But her disinterest in her children made me angry. And the ending really bothered me this time.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    ... oh my goodness me the reviews.

    Some of them are so unkind, so cruel and so scathing. And for everyone criticising Chopin's writing and saying how they would write this book -- Go! Go write a book with feminist themes that you'd like to see in a book.

    Edna, as a female protagonist, stands for so much more than a selfish woman who has had an affair. She is brave enough, and bold enough to completely abandon society and realise that she is so much more than a mother and a wife. She realises, during the course of the book, that she has a self that neither her husband or her children would ever see.

    This book is full of metaphors and beautifully written. I loved how Chopin created atmosphere and texture and colour, and how she drew on her environment to enhance her writing. It was written in 1899, and was so ground-breaking for its time.

    I don't like books about cheating, or with cheating tropes. I think it's lazy, and I don't find it interesting.

    But I loved this book. This is an important book.

    But more than anything, I love Edna. She is a beautiful, flawed women, and I saw part of myself in her. Furthermore, all these negative comments and reviews make me realise that this is why we need feminism. This is why I need feminism.

    And I will love and defend Edna and her choices till the end of my days. Chopin, I tip my hat to you. I will give this book to my friends, and to anyone who asks.

    (I feel like this review is a little bit harsh - we're all entitled to our different opinions but it makes me a bit sad that people are so unfair to a female protagonist.)
  • Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
    1/5
    I don't remember the writing, only that I didn't like the story. It falls into a category of stories that I find problematic -- in which female characters who have affairs must somehow die.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Loved it as much this time as the first time I read it in college.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    romantic and bitter sweet.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Edna Pontellier “awakens” during another summer spent with her husband and children on Grande Isle, LA. The sultry nights, the hypnotic lapping of the waves on the beach, the intoxicating scents and the attentions of one person in particular all combine to bring strength to Edna’s inner self. Slowly, she comes to feel that she has stifled the person inside her for her husband, her family and society. She is unable to fully explain what is happening to her, but she knows that she can no longer be untrue to herself.

    I really enjoyed this novella. I could not help but think about Edith Wharton’s House of Mirth; I see so many parallels between Lily Bart and Edna. The time frame is similar (late 1890s), as is the inner turmoil of our heroine as she tries to make decisions about her life. While Edna is older than Lily, and has already achieved a measure of success in society (i.e. she has married well, has two charming children and a lovely home), she, like Lily, longs for something that will result in her removal from the society she knows.

    The novella unfolds slowly, with limited dialogue, but a vivid sense of place. There is languorousness about the writing that mimics the languor felt on a hot and humid summer day on Grand Isle. Two scenes provide a perfect contrast and illustrate Edna’s awakening spirit. In one she sits with her husband on the veranda all night with scarcely a word between them and a palpable distance. In the other she spends an afternoon napping, while her friend Robert sits outside under a tree waiting; and despite the physical distance and lack of personal contact portrayed there is a palpable intimacy between them.

    Without expressing her feelings exactly, the novel gave me insight into how Edna must have felt – excited by this new phase of her life, afraid to reveal how much it means to her, unsure she’s chosen wisely, full of regret, and finally accepting.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Sometimes the 1001 Books to Read Before You Die list surprises me with a great book that I had never heard of. Such was the case with this book.Published in 1899, The Awakening tells the story of Edna Pontillier, a young married woman with two sons. It opens in a resort in Grand Isle on the Gulf of Mexico where Mrs Pontillier and the boys are staying for the summer with Mr. Leonce Pontillier coming down from New Orleans on weekends. The owner's son, Robert Lebrun, falls in love with Edna and the feeling is reciprocated although there is no physical intimacy. Towards the end of the summer Robert leaves Grand Isle to seek his fortune in Mexico and Edna feels very depressed. Back in New Orleans Mrs. Pontillier stops involving herself in polite society and feels happier and free. Her husband goes to New York on a business trip and the boys are sent to their grandmother in Iberville so Edna is free to do as she likes. What she really wants to do is live with Robert but society would find that scandalous. Edna Pontillier is a prisoner of her times and, like Anna Karenina, she is made to suffer.As can be imagined this book was vilified by many reviewers when it came out. But I imagine a number of women probably read it and felt it spoke to them. The writing style is so evocative of the Deep South that I felt transported there. We spent a few days on Grand Isle last year and although I am sure it is far different from the 1890s when this story was set I too felt the langourous pleasure of that locale. It is a perfect setting for this story.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Loved it! I especially love the ambiguous ending that I enjoy arguing about.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Dieses Buch war zur Erscheinungszeit 1899 ein richtiger Skandal: Eine Frau verlässt ihren Mann, scheinbar grundlos. Sie möchte selbstbestimmt leben. Doch die Erwartungen an die große Liebe erfüllen sich nicht und die Freiheit scheint nicht lebbar.Das ist ein gutes Thema und das Buch hat einige starke Szenen. Z.B. fand ich alle Interaktionen mit Herrn Pontellier sehr gelungen- es ist einfach zu befremdlich, wie egozentrisch und wenig empathisch dieser Mann sich in aller Unschuld gebärdet.Aber dennoch sprang bei mir kein Funke über. Ich bin mit diesem Buch zweimal eingeschlafen! Mir war es zu langweilig und trotz des geringen Umfangs musste ich mich regelrecht aufraffen es zu lesen. Vielleicht war es die falsche Zeit.
  • Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
    2/5
    This book is about the journey of a woman and how she struggles with trying to decide what is best versus what she is supposed to do or think according to society. This book brings attention to women's issues back in the day. The book is not really my style, therefore i really did not enjoy it.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Far, far ahead of its time, this absolutely incredible book addresses a woman’s trapped feelings in an era where, once married, she has little say in her choices, and her primary job is to do as told by her husband. For bringing to light the unspeakable possibility that a woman may not designed to be a wife, a mother, and the desire for true love, Kate Chopin was ostracized since the book’s publication in 1899, dying 5 short years later in 1904. Now, in my modern set of eyes, this work is easily a feminist trailblazer with Edna Pontellier seeking personal freedom. The novel begins with what seems to be an idyllic life of summer beach house, servants, and gifts. But clues of frustrations are sprinkled liberally in the pages including troubles with her husband. She breaks daily traditions, then settles into her own household, and establishes her own income. When she finds reciprocated love, it’s still a disillusion: “…you never consider for a moment what I think, or how I feel your neglect and indifference.” I honestly can’t tell if her love was a coward or being kind with: “Good-by, because I love you.” – Wtf. You decide. It may have been in a different era with different expectations to match, it’s still very relatable for anyone who are stuck in a situation and don’t know how to break free. The thoughts and emotions of Edna saddened me; her darkness penetrated me. Just because one is in a seemingly good life, it doesn’t mean one is happy. Edna describes “periods of despondency and suffering” – depression. In her own way, Chopin minced no words in her expressions, and it was abominable for 1899. (It was pulled from bookshelves!) Not everyone will agree with the ending, but for me, it’s understandable and hinted early on.Favorite Character: Mademoiselle Reisz – Described as “disagreeable”, she is likely blunt, which is a perfectly good trait. She is independent and has observant eyes for Edna’s evolving needs.Least Favorite Character: Robert Lebrun – Aforementioned coward… I hope he regrets what he did to her.Some Quotes:On the passionless husband:“… the Creole husband is never jealous; with him the gangrene passion is one which has become dwarfed by disuse.”On depression:“An indescribable oppression, which seemed to generate in some unfamiliar part of her consciousness, filled her whole being with a vague anguish.” On settling in marriage – this is cripplingly familiar:“She was a grown young woman when she was overtaken by what she supposed to be the climax of her fate. It was when the face and figure of a great tragedian began to haunt her imagination and stir her senses. The persistence of the infatuation lent it an air of genuineness. The hopelessness of it colored it with the lofty tones of a great passion…Her marriage to Leonce Pontellier was purely an accident, in this respect resembling many other marriages which masquerade as the decrees of Fate. …. He pleased her; his absolute devotion flattered her. She fancied there was a sympathy of thought and taste between them, in which fancy she was mistaken… The acme of bliss, which would have been a marriage with the tragedian, was not for her in this world. As the devoted wife of a man who worshipped her, she felt she would take her place with a certain dignity in the world of reality, closing the portals forever behind her upon the realm of romance and dreams.”On one-self and identity:“I would give up the unessential; I would give my money, I would give my life for my children; but I wouldn’t give myself. I can’t make it more clear; it’s only something which I am beginning to comprehend, which is revealing itself to me.”And“…he could not see that she was becoming herself and daily casting aside that fictitious self which we assume like a garment with which to appear before the world.”On awakening:“A certain light was beginning to dawn dimly within her – the light which, showing the way, forbids it.At that early period it served but to bewilder her. It moved her to dreams, to thoughtfulness, to the shadowy anguish which had overcome her the midnight when she had abandoned herself to tears. In short, Mrs. Pontellier was beginning to realize her position in the universe as a human being…On the confusion of love:“Does he write to you? Never a line. Does he send you a message? Never a word. It is because he loves you, poor fool, and is trying to forget you, since you are not free to listen to him or to belong to him.”On infatuation:“As Edna walked along the street she was thinking of Robert. She was still under the spell of her infatuation. She had tried to forget him, realizing the inutility of remembering. But the thought of him was like an obsession, ever pressing itself upon her. It was not that she dwelt upon details of their acquaintance, or recalled in any special or peculiar way his personality; it was his being, his existence, which dominated her thought, fading sometimes as if it would melt into the mist of the forgotten, reviving again with an intensity which filled her with an incomprehensible longing.”On strength:“The bird that would soar above the level plain of tradition and prejudice must have strong wings. It is a sad spectacle to see the weaklings bruised, exhausted, fluttering back to earth.”On not-being-owned:“You have been a very, very foolish boy, wasting your time dreaming of impossible things when you speak of Mr. Pontellier setting me free! I am no longer one of Mr. Pontellier’s possessions to dispose of or not. I give myself where I choose. If he were to say, ‘Here, Robert, take her and be happy; she is yours,’ I should laugh at you both.”I call this the blue pill, red pill:“…perhaps it is better to wake up after all, even to suffer, rather than to remain a dupe to illusions all one’s life.”