Just by Looking at Him: A Novel

Written by Ryan O'Connell

Narrated by Ryan O'Connell

From the star of Peacock’s Queer as Folk and the Netflix series Special comes a “funny, tender, and beautiful” (Gary Janetti, New York Times bestselling author) novel following a gay TV writer with cerebral palsy as he fights addiction and searches for acceptance in an overwhelmingly ableist world.

Elliott appears to be living the dream as a successful TV writer with a doting boyfriend. But behind his Instagram filter of a life, he’s grappling with an intensifying alcohol addiction, he can’t seem to stop cheating on his boyfriend with various sex workers, and his cerebral palsy is making him feel like gay Shrek.

After falling down a rabbit hole of sex, drinking, and Hollywood backstabbing, Elliott decides to limp his way towards redemption. But facing your demons is easier said than done.

“With his singular voice and unforgettable wit” (Steven Rowley, author of The Guncle), Ryan O’Connell presents a candid, biting, and refreshingly real commentary on gay life, laugh-out-loud exploration of self, and a rare insight into life as a person with disabilities.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Simon & Schuster Audio
• Release date: Jun 7, 2022
• ISBN: 9781797139715

Ryan O'Connell

Ryan O’Connell is the Emmy-nominated creator, writer, and star of Netflix’s Special, which is based on his memoir, I’m Special: And Other Lies We Tell Ourselves. He’s also written for other TV shows like Will & Grace, Awkward, and Peacock’s Queer as Folk revival, which he also stars in. He lives, laughs, and loves in Los Angeles with his partner, Jonathan Parks-Ramage. 

Reviews for Just by Looking at Him

[c Kops · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

It’s raunchy and a bit smutty but also heartfelt and insightful! And REALLY FUNNY

[thomas cooney · Rating: 1 out of 5 stars]

Rather vapid. Doesn’t know what it wants to be: soft porn, fan fiction, goofy self-help. And the audio was too over the top

[Omar Rodriguez · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Started off self deprecating and full of eye roll quotes only white queer men would relate to but loved that it forced me to look at how I perceived my own thoughts on past relationships and sexual freedom.

[migle · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

4 for the book itself, a strong 5 for the guy who narrated the book, I laughed like crazy and his voice made a huge impact for the story; perfect!

[Hunter Seech · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

A funny, raunchy, and honest look into the life of a gay man living with a disability. I had enjoyed the show Special, which is why is sought out this book, and was not disappointed. O’Connell’s writing is hilarious, witty, and at times poignant, and I loved listening to him narrate the story. Would definitely recommend!

[Bryanne Dick · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

This book was raw and funny and real. It showed what it's like to live life with a very visible disability, and what its like to struggle with addiction and come to terms with the fact that you've lost yourself.

I loved the character development of Elliot throughout this book. The way he learned to accept himself and love his body for what it is. His struggle with alcohol was relatable and real, as was his journey to accepting himself for who he was.

The representation in this book was fantastic. Queer rep, disability rep, depression and anxiety. This book has so much of what so many people face and that made it all the more enjoyable.

The pop-culture references were cringe, though, oh my God. It might just be because I'm not too into pop-culture and don't spend much time online, but still.

[Little Mix · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Really liked the book. The audiobook can be annoying at times, he yells a lot and basically uses the same voice for all characters which takes you out a bit.