You Exist Too Much: A Novel

Written by Zaina Arafat

Narrated by Zehra Jane Naqvi

On a hot day in Bethlehem, a twelve-year-old Palestinian-American girl is yelled at by a group of men outside the Church of the Nativity. She has exposed her legs in a biblical city, an act they deem forbidden, and their judgement will echo on through her adolescence. When our narrator finally admits to her mother that she is queer, her mother's response only intensifies a sense of shame: "You exist too much," she tells her daughter.

Told in vignettes that flash between the US and the Middle East, Zaina Arafat's debut novel traces her protagonist's progress from blushing teen to sought-after DJ and aspiring writer. In Brooklyn, she moves into an apartment with her first serious girlfriend and tries to content herself with their comfortable relationship. But soon her longings, so closely hidden during her teenage years, explode out into reckless romantic encounters. Her desire to thwart her own destructive impulses will eventually lead her to The Ledge, an unconventional treatment center that identifies her affliction as "love addiction." In this strange, enclosed society she will start to consider the unnerving similarities between her own internal traumas and divisions and those of the places that have formed her.

You Exist Too Much is a captivating story charting two of our most intense longings-for love, and a place to call home.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Highbridge Company
• Release date: Jun 30, 2020
• ISBN: 9781696601610

Reviews for You Exist Too Much

[Sandi Olson · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

I'm so completely disappointed in the hard shift of chapter 14. She goes to therapy and has this big healing moment... and now suddenly she's totally smitten by a dude? She can't be both emotionally stable *and* queer? That's bullshit. I don't remember the last time I angry-quit a book without finishing, but here we are.

[Hayley Owens · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

The reader is very talented. Easy to stay engaged and listen to this book!

[Sasha Whitley · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Excellent book and writing but worst narration I’ve ever heard.

[Nneoma Nze · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I could not “put” this book down. Listened to it on a 9 hour drive. I was so captivated by the telling of the story that before I knew it, I’d reached my destination. I love how Zaina laced the story with history about Palestine’s fight for their home <3 I’m looking forward to finding more books by this author!!

[Cassie Herbert · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I really enjoyed this book. I thought it was well written and the narrators voice seemingly fit perfectly.

Even though I am male, I found the authors openness about love and emotion and heartbreak to be freeing and help me reflect on my past relationships.