Friendfluence: The Surprising Ways Friends Make Us Who We Are

Written by Carlin Flora

Narrated by Karen Saltus

Discover the unexpected ways friends influence our personalities, choices, emotions, and even physical health in this fun and compelling examination of friendship, based on the latest scientific research and ever-relatable anecdotes.

Why is dinner with friends often more laughter filled and less fraught than a meal with family? Although some say it’s because we choose our friends, it’s also because we expect less of them than we do of relatives. While we’re busy scrutinizing our romantic relationships and family dramas, our friends are quietly but strongly influencing everything from the articles we read to our weight fluctuations, from our sex lives to our overall happiness levels.

Evolutionary psychologists have long theorized that friendship has roots in our early dependence on others for survival. These days, we still cherish friends but tend to undervalue their role in our lives. However, the skills one needs to make good friends are among the very skills that lead to success in life, and scientific research has recently exploded with insights about the meaningful and enduring ways friendships influence us. With people marrying later—and often not at all—and more families having just one child, these relationships may be gaining in importance. The evidence even suggests that at times friends have a greater hand in our development and well-being than do our romantic partners and relatives.

Friendfluence surveys online-only pals, friend breakups, the power of social networks, envy, peer pressure, the dark side of amicable ties, and many other varieties of friendship. Told with warmth, scientific rigor, and a dash of humor, Friendfluence not only illuminates and interprets the science but draws on clinical psychology and philosophy to help listeners evaluate and navigate their own important friendships.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Ascent Audio
• Release date: Jan 29, 2013
• ISBN: 9781469086422

Reviews for Friendfluence

[fenny9hotchpotch · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Carlin Flora has done a beautiful job in explaining the dynamics of friendship in this easy-to-read, yet academic level book. She cites lots of research material, other writers’ books as well as many real life examples to clarify the points being made. Friendship and its influence is looked at from many different ways – the childhood and adolescent friends, the perks as well as the dark side of friendship, the online friendship and what it means in relation to real-life friends.She has done her research well, and therefore knows what she is writing about. She lifts friendship up, outside of the brackets of parental and familial relationships and the romantic ones, and shows us how they fulfill a key position in our lives. After reading this book you will be far more conscious of how friends are affecting you, which helps you appraise the friendships you have and decide how to move forward to get the most out of it, or realize the relationship has come to an end and gracefully slide out of it. You will no longer underestimate friendfluence – the influence of your friendships!

[bogopea · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Heavily highlighted by me as a lot of it resonated as I thought back on women friends through my life. I expected lots of stories of friendships but that was not the case. However, the book was easy to read, extremely interesting if one as ever thought about friends (i.e. why we are, why we are no longer, what they mean, what they give us, what we give them, etc.) and the impact on us, good and bad.

[paul9the9well9read · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

A good book and quick read, it presents research Using a combination of research and anecdotal stories, the book details how we are influenced, altered and otherwise affected by our friendships. Some of the impact of friendships is well understood by all of us, but the research presented here goes beyond that, discussing the sometimes amazing ways we are impacted by our friends without even realizing it.
In current times, there is a rising rate of suicides, especially among older people, largely resulting from social isolation. This book discusses the isolation issue briefly as a part of its overall mission to explore every aspect of both making, having and keeping friendships over the many phases of our lives.