Tell-All

Written by Chuck Palahniuk

Narrated by Carol Monda

For decades Hazie Coogan has tended to the outsized needs of Katherine “Miss Kathie” Kenton, veteran of multiple marriages, career comebacks, and cosmetic surgeries. But danger arrives with gentleman caller Webster Carlton Westward III,
who worms his way into Miss Kathie’s heart—and boudoir. Soon, Hazie discovers that this bounder has already written a celebrity memoir foretelling Miss Kathie’s death in an upcoming musical extravaganza. As the body count mounts, Hazie
must execute a plan to save Katherine Kenton for her fans and for posterity.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Recorded Books, Inc.
• Release date: Oct 19, 2021
• ISBN: 9781705041277

Chuck Palahniuk

Chuck Palahniuk’s fourteen novels include the bestselling Snuff; Rant; Haunted; Lullaby; Fight Club, which was made into a film by director David Fincher; Diary; Survivor; Invisible Monsters; and Choke, which was made into a film by director Clark Gregg. He is also the author of the nonfiction profile of Portland, Fugitives and Refugees, and the nonfiction collection Stranger Than Fiction. His story collection Make Something Up was a widely banned bestseller. His graphic novel Fight Club II hit #1 on the New York Times list. He’s also the author of Fight Club III and the coloring books Bait and Legacy, as well as the writing guide Consider This. He lives in the Pacific Northwest.

Reviews for Tell-All

[juva_3 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Light, funny and poignant, this book is an exaggerated look at the cut-throat, cannibalistic world of Hollywood. Fans of gossip rags and sleazy tell-all memoirs will laugh and squirm at this novel's dramatic imagining of the type of people such a culture produces.

[lukegoldstein · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

There are a few authors in the world that cause me to make a goal of reading everything they put to paper, or whatever medium they choose. Stephen King, Mark Danielewski and Dave Eggers are some of the top of my list, but included with them is a man who seemingly strives to be known as one of the most twisted and demented minds in the contemporary literary canon, Chuck Palahniuk. His written success was already on the path to fame and infamy, but the spotlight firmly became implanted on his typewriter after the release of the film version of one of his most famous stories, Fight Club. People began diving head first into his sordid tales of depravity, violence and regression of human tendencies to their most primal and animalistic. Palahniuk has mastered a way of detailing believably the worst choices people make every day and their sometimes grotesque ramifications. So, with a slightly nervous and queasy stomach, I took his newest tome off the shelf at my local bookstore and came home to test my nerves on Tell-All.

Tell-All is the story of a classic beauty from the golden age of Hollywood named Katherine Kenton and her relationships with her fans, her lovers and most importantly with her personal assistant, Hazie Coogan. Katherine and Hazie have been together since nearly the beginning of Katherine’s lunar career and Hazie has been the glue that held it all together, the captain that steered the glittering jewel in the tumultuous seas of Hollywood and the artist who used Katherine to not only create a star, but a mold a living legend. Now, a new young buck has slithered into Katherine’s life and Hazie must once again pick up the invisible shield and defend her creation from anyone or anything that would seek to tear her down off her pedestal.

The first thing I should warn returning Palahniuk readers of is this: this is not Fight Club, nor is this Haunted (which personally I don’t think will ever be topped for sheer shock and awe value), this new fable is more along the lines of Rant and Invisible Monsters (another highly underrated book). The violence is quiet here, a slow boil, and things aren’t always what they seem. Yet the twist of the story does reveal itself a tad too early for my tastes. In some cases, like many Hitchcock films, the twist was known to the audience from the beginning and the fun was watching the players stumble around it unknowingly, but here it happens to act more as a weight dragging down the tempo of the story.

What doesn’t falter is Palahniuk’s deviant ability to reach inside the characters and bring out their most wicked and base needs. Even though many, if not all, of the inhabitants of Tell-All and his other stories are deeply flawed people, he peels them down layer by layer with an almost meditative quality rendering each and every one recognizably human in the end. Hazie reflects that person in us all, the one who always stood by while their friend or family member soaked up the spotlight, in some cases, even the sun itself. Being forever relegated to the sidelines can darken a person, gray out their normally bright demeanor and inevitably tip their moral compass due south. Yet the choice is always there, as it is with Hazie, whether to protect the prize by keeping it away from all personal harm or protecting the image of the prize by destroying it before it is tarnished by time and heartfelt folly.

Palahniuk also continues to perfect his personal style of over-detailing brand names and creating a nearly encyclopedic rhythm to his prose with his incredibly verbose and seemingly heavily-sponsored descriptions. No one just wears earrings in this book, they wear Cartier chandelier earrings. He improves on this literary fingerprint in Tell-All by adding an excessive amount on name dropping, rolling out star after star of the silver screen (mainly from the time when the screens were still made of actual silver). For people who don’t know classic Hollywood legends, it can feel a touch redundant and meaningless, but there is a reason behind the madness and you can always rely on the fact that his research of whatever topic has brought him the very tidbit of information you just glossed over.

While this is not close to my favorite of his career, Tell-All certainly fills a stomach momentarily void of sordid stories. Yet, as always with writers like him, I found myself thinking on the last page, “What could he possibly come up with next to shock me?” I have no doubt he will find a way to answer that question, post haste.

[brakketh-1 · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

Another Palahniuk attack on celebrity culture, not really to my taste.

[mausergem_1 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

This is Chuck Palahnuik's tribute to Hollywood. A big aging Hollywood star, female, attracts an admirer who wants to tell her life story and scandalize her after her death. She with her friend, secretary, guardian angel thwart this plan. But there is a twist in the end.There is a lot of name dropping in this book which I don't relate to hence I did not like it and also it becomes quite repetitive.

[mikemillertime · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

As someone who reads and enjoys everything Palahniuk touches, this book is definitely one of his weakest. With only one of his recurring motifs barely enjoyable, the rest of the book is a long, grinding repetition of some very dull and lame ideas and themes. Even the best batters have to strike out from time to time, and with Palahniuk's recent pace and production, it's maybe a miracle that it wasn't worse. At least it's short and ends quickly. Considering the sotry is devoted to the Golden Age of Hollywood, perhaps readers with interest in cinematic history could enjoy it more.

[andsoitgoes_1 · Rating: 1 out of 5 stars]

Boring. Confusing. Disappointed in Palahniuk.

[lefroo · Rating: 1 out of 5 stars]

Read it in two sittings and a total of maybe 4 hours, tops. Overall, a "meh" read. I have and will continue to literally shrug my shoulders when asked my opinion of it. The most interesting character in the novel, Lillian Hellman, is one that plays a minor role as acts more like a symbol than anything else. In terms of substance, Tell All is lacking. The plot is nothing more interesting than the hazy retelling of "What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?" meets a limp-dick version of a wannabe "Sunset Boulevard." The twist is nothing more glorious than the first five minutes of "Single White Female" and that's not giving away much since the narrator pretty much flaunts clues to supposed "twist" ending at the beginning of the second chapter. Despite my favour for noir and the starlets of yore, black and white films and the sordid tales of Hollywood after dark, the enterprise of reading Tell All was overall bland. Totally not worth the price of the hardcover. Sadly. I was hoping for more. Maybe I'll have to read Pygmy or Snuff, the only two Palahniuks that I haven't yet read to wash myself of the feeling that he's lost it. Hope for the best.

[markfontecchio_1 · Rating: 1 out of 5 stars]

Dropped it halfway through, didn't care about the inevitable plot twist. The weakest book I've read by him.

[ocgreg34 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Hazie Coogan has spent most of her life taking care of famed actress Katherine Kenton. Hazie isn't quite a maid or housekeeper, not a bodyguard or confidante, but she performs those roles as needed to keep her Miss Kathie in the spotlight. After all, Miss Kathie is her greatest creation, and she doesn't want anything to happen to the rose-tinted image her fans have of her. And especially doesn't want her to become fodder for another of Lillian Hellman's butchered tales. In fact, she'll do whatever it takes to keep her creation safe so when Webster Carlton Westward III finagles his way into Miss Kathie's good graces, Hazie's on her guard. When she discovers the manuscript for a tell-all book about Katherine Kenton, already complete with a gruesome ending, she takes matters into her hands to protect Miss Kathie."Tell-All" takes a scathing biography, peppered with tons of name-dropping, and mixes into it a tale of romantic intrigue and murder -- all told from Hazie's point of view. Granted, she's writing as if this were a screenplay, with fade-ins, panning shots, asides, etc., so how much of it is truth and how much what Hazie wants everyone to believe is the truth is up to the reader.The three main characters are fun to follow: Hazie the stoic Jill-of-All-Trades trying desperately to keep Miss Kathie out of harms way; Katherine Kenton, the aged movie star looking for love, who's undergone so many plastic surgeries that she could probably create another Katherine Kenton; and Webster Carlton Westward III, the would-be Romeo whose questionable interest in Miss Kathie sets the whole chain of events in motion. Oh, and I can't forget Lillian Hellman -- the comic relief, I think, whose re-imaginings of past events delight her to no end while striking those still alive with the fear of what she'll misspeak about them.This is a wonderfully gossipy read with some surprising plot twists. Great characters, great story and good fun.

[lildrafire · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Lillian Hellman, can you read this? Chuck writes a winner with this all-star tribute to the glamour and glitz of the Golden Age of the entertainment industry. The story is simple--or is it? First let me start with the writing style. Chuck's last few books have been experimental, frustrating this reader, until I finally declare the experiment "brilliant." Chuck doesn't play with style in Tell-All, but he does do something pretty unique. He "name drops" every single A to D list star from the beginning of celebrity-dom in Hollywood. Hundreds of names. Names I thought were fictitious until I Googled them. And everything he writes about them--their dialogue, their actions--all lies. All Chuck's imagination. Lillian Hellman would be proud!All of these names are intertwined into a brilliant tale of an aging movie star, struggling to hold on to her fame and name, whose vanity rivals that of Dorian Gray. Always present is her dedicated companion, the teller of this tale. Palahniuk weaves a delicious story of husbands, has-bands, deceased pets and orphans hoping. Brilliant!

[adpaton · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Palahniuk is one of those authors I have always intended to read but never have until now: Tell-All has been my first venture into his work and a costly excursion it promises to be because I enjoyed this book so much – despite it having been generally panned – I shall have to buy the rest of his oeuvre. Imagine Jackie Collins and the Marx Brothers meeting Myra Breckenridge in Sunset Boulevard: name-dropping, murder, kinky sex, absurdity, wit and a predictable but outrageous twist at the end are just some of the elements in this near All about Eve pastiche in a Hollywood Babylon setting – great fun and a grand read.

[sszkutak_1 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

After Pygmy and Rant I wasn't really sure about the latest Palahniuk novel, and sadly I was disappointed. I feel like the story was somewhat entertaining however, the random animal sounds were annoying and just filled up space. I am concerned because I know that there are a lot of different writing styles, I even work for a Non-profit that works with people on Creative Writing, but I think Chuck's newest writing format is just to write really short books that don't really have a finished feel.Don't get me wrong, I will still go out and get his books, but as of late I have been expecting the worst and they aren't surprising me, and the surprise was why I read them.

[dvulcano_2 · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

Sorry, Chuck. I can't get behind this one. While there are some good nuggets here (the baby parade, the funeral rituals, the concept of the first to publish biography with the death scene) overall, this one is a slow read. The style of name dropping (and bolding the star names like a pop magazine does) gets old after the first couple pages. Palahniuk has misfired before and came out blazing (i.e. Diary to Haunted, Rant to Snuff) so hopefully that will happen again soon.

[slickdpdx · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Gossipy bon mots (that's Italian for "deadly jabs") shine in this witty homage to Myra Breckenridge. And, though told by Mark Leyner-esque narrator, the tale is pure Palahniuk.

[ngeunit1_1 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

So first of all, I guess this is a step up from Chuck's most recent Pygmy. Which places this somewhere in the area of "Okay." There were some things that I did like about the book and somethings that really got in the way of that enjoyment.First, lets start with the negative. The bold-facing name dropping does get old really fast. The point that he is trying to make is very quickly made and could have been a lot less forced. There were just too many names, and 90% of the time had absolutely zero effect on the story itself. It just took up space and felt like it was just convoluting the story. Also the book was really really short. Only about 180 pages. And it even took a bit longer than normal for the story to pick up and get into gear, and given the fact that this was only about 180 pages, meant that there was not all that much story to speak of.Lets move on to the good stuff now. The story, while it was exciting, was good. Even though very predictable from early on, it was still exciting watching it unfold. In addition, the normal Chuck story elements are present, like the outrageous sex/murder scenes, the really morbid and a times extremely crude humor (like Webster's jokes about his manhood), and just his overall way of describing things. And that I always enjoy in his novel. I also really like the method of narrative he used. I thought it was effective to have a lot of the scenes told as if they were acted out with elements of hollywood in them. It was effective and had a very interesting (good) effect on the story.Overall, I think this novel had some good potential derived from the elements that I listed above that I liked. Even the dropping of the darn bold faced names and a little less of it would have really made this a much more enjoyable story. But, all of this extraneous stuff just gets inbetween the story and the ability of the reader to enjoy it.

[helpfulsnowman · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

[close] Okay, not my favorite Chuch Palahniuk book. I'm a pretty big fan, read ALL of his books and have seen him speak twice, which is a blast if you ever get the chance. Like always, he delivers in terms of a quick read, some social commentary, and a little bit of humor thrown in the mix (see: anything attributed to Walter Winchell in this book). That said, the story is so-so. The book really hits its stride about a hundred pages in, which is over halfway. If you're going to read this book, here are some things that might help you enjoy it more: 1. Feel free to completey ignore anything in boldface. These will be brand names and names of celebrities. Chuck Palahniuk does this sort of thing in books, for example, the inclusion of esoteric medical terms in Choke, to slow readers down and make them pay attention to what's going on. So, don't get caught up in the names is all I'm saying, don't let that ruin it for you the way it seems to for so many others. Take the boldface as a sign saying, "You do not need to remember this person." 2. Accept that this is not Fight Club. Everybody wants Chuck Palahniuk to rewrite Fight Club. Say what you will about his use of forumla, but Palahniuk is a writer who is constantly trying new things, sometimes with great success (for example, in the much-underrated Rant) and sometimes with less success. But if you love Fight Club for its testosterone, snappy angry youth one-liners, or ready-for-the-screen action, look to another book. 3. A book being short does not mean that you are being ripped off. His books tend to be short, faster reads. I like that. I don't see this as a laziness on the author's part or a disadvantage. He is a rabid revisionist, and edits each line over and over rather than stuffing a book with crap. His last couple of books haven't been my favorite, but the amount of work that goes into them is evident and appreciated. [close]

[suetu_1 · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

Let me cut to the chase... I hated this novel. I've read Palahniuk before, and I've neither loved nor hated his work. He's got a perverse aesthetic, but the guy can write. That's what got him the two stars. But this was the longest 200 pages I've ever had to read. Slim as this volume is, getting through it was torture. Tell-All is the story of fading Hollywood star, Katherine Kenton, and it's told from the POV of her... Assistant? Confidant? Maid? Consigliere? Anyway, the singularly unpleasant and deeply possessive first-person narrator is Hazie Coogan. Let me tell you, if I never read the phrase "my Miss Kathie" again, it will be too soon. It's hard to summarize the plot of this novel because ultimately there's so little substance to it. Set in the golden age of Hollywood, the narrative is highly stylized. First, there are no chapters, just "Acts" and "Scenes." Cinematic, rather than literary, vernacular is used to set these scenes, such as Act I, Scene Eight: "We open with a panning shot of Miss Kathie's boudoir mantel, the lineup of wedding photos and awards. Next we dissolve to a similar panning shot, moving across the surface of a console table in her drawing room, crowded with more trophies. Then, we dissolve to yet another similar shot..." All proper names are in bold-face, with those names dropped by the dozens in the style of old-time gossip sheets. Just paragraph after paragraph of filler. And if that's not enough, Palahniuk regales us with dozens of "witticisms" attributed to famed gossip columnists. For instance, "This prattle, further example of what WALTER WINCHELL means by the term 'toast-masturbating.' Or 'laud mouthing,' according to HEDDA HOPPER. According to LOUELLA PARSONS, 'implying gilt.'" Over and over and over. Then there were the lengthy passages along the lines of, "This woman is POCAHONTAS. She is ATHENA and HERA. Lying in this messy, unmade bed, eyes closed, this is JULIET CAPULET. BLANCHE DUBOIS. SCARLET O'HARA. With ministrations of lipstick and eyeliner I give birth to OPHELIA. To MARIE ANTOINETTE. Over the next trip of the larger hand around the face of the bedside clock, I give form to LUCREZIA BORGIA..." I'll spare you further, but trust me, it goes on for some time. Why say something once when you can say it sixteen times? And aside from the redundant, redundant, redundant text, even the plot eventually repeats and repeats six or seven or eight times (I lost count) with identically-staged murder attempts. By the time I reached "the surprise ending" as Hazie calls it, I was just so very glad my ordeal was over.

[ericnguyen09_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

"No, none of us seem so very real. "If you're reading Chuck Palaniuk just because you're looking for his outrageous exploits; maybe reading this isn't for you. If you're into style however, if you've followed Palaniuk's stylistic history--this might be something for you.Tell-All is a short novel of less than 200 pages. It tells the life and times of the aging actress Katherine Kenton, as she tries to find love. She is in fact, a very lonely person. We learn that she buys diamond rings for herself and keep the ashes of dead pets in urns. In her most vulnerable moment, she meets Webster Carlton Westward III, who hides his secrets at the bottom of his suitcase, in a tell-all biography of once bright star. The catch? It includes the ending of Miss Kathie's life. What follows is her hiliarious pursuit to live on, to thwart her lover's plan for murder.What Tell-All does well is being what Invisible Monsters (his first novel, which was at first rejected) could not--be a spectacular, star-studded novel full of enough stage directions and campiness to excuse the author of being a self-loathing homophobe (until he found out that that actually helped his sales). And this novel is all about camp. We have explosions on stage, grand musical numbers, projection reel flashbacks, a gay best friend (yes, Miss Kathie is a hag!), and Hollywood.While the themes here are weakly developed--it's about identity, it's about ways in which we make ourselves and ways others make us, it's blunt and weak, admittedly, but Mr. Palahniuk, nearing 50, is reaching that point in publishing all of writers only dream of reaching: to be able to write about anything.Above all, Tell-All is a short and entertaining romp. While not as experimental as his other works, the style here is clean-cut and full of explosions. Within its 200 pages we see an author who is maturing and having fun while he's at it.

[karieh_2 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

True, I’ve only read one other of Chuck Palahniuk’s books – “Haunted” – which I liked – but maybe I am just not the right audience for this story. Because? I am not at all sure what this book was about.Wait – I don’t mean that exactly… I guess I mean that I am not sure what the author was trying to do here – what the point of the book was. If it was something along the lines of “Hollywood is superficial and it’s all about names and brands” – well – I think I got that point VERY early on. But that doesn’t explain why the book keeps going.This story of a Hollywood actress and the woman who stands behind her belabors most of its points. “Beyond her first few words, Lillian’s talk becomes one of those jungle sound tracks one hears looping in the background of every Tarzan film, just tropical birds and Johnny Weissmuller and howler monkeys repeating. Bark, bark, screech…Emerald Cunard. Bark, growl, screech…”And this narrative device, introduced on page 3, is still being used on page 178. My copy of the book – has 179 pages.I shouldn’t go on – again – maybe I just didn’t get it. But there were flashes of what I think have earned Palahniuk his devoted following that made me wonder what this story could have been:“Imagine every compliment you’ve ever received, made manifest, etched into metal or stone and filling your home. That terrible accumulating burden of your Dedication and Talent, your Contributions and Achievements, forgotten by everyone except yourself. Katherine Kenton, the Great Humanitarian.”But maybe my feelings are best expressed by the author himself: “The priceless diamond itself lost in this heap of so many worthless, dazzling glass shards.”

[reannon_1 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

This is the sort of experimental fiction some readers love and some don't. I'm in the don't category, so the fact that it is a short book quickly read was one of the high points for me. It is the fictional story of movie star Katherine Kenton, one of the biggest stars of the Golden Age of Hollywood, as told by her servant who is also her teacher, Hazie Coogan. It is deliberately reminiscent of Sunset Boulevard, though rather as if Sunset Boulevard were being staged by someone on acid.The name dropping that occurs on every page is rather fun, and one could spend some pleasant time looking up the names one doesn't know. It is also a funny device, and it must be admitted that the book is funny, especially when all the roles Kenton has played are mentioned and add up to a large percentage of the famous women in history, or at least the wives of famous men. We so rarely see Mrs. Genghis Khan mentioned.I had not read Palahniuk before. He is perhaps most famous for Fight Club. I don't plan on reading him again, but he is obviously more to some people's taste.