The Big Issue

BIRD’S WORDS

Planning a life of efficiency

was trying to explain to someone at The Big Issue the other day that I have been in hot pursuit of efficiency all my life. I can remember the stirrings of the love of efficiency in my childhood, living in the slums of Notting Hill. It took the form of asking my mother why she threw old tin cans of Heinz baked beans out of the window into the communal garden, which was really a dug-up rubbish heap. She said there was no other place to sling them. I said but can’t you not

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