THE MODERN history of Russia is book-ended by a pair of Putins who are world-renowned as ‘mad, bad and dangerous to know’.
Since 1999, ex-KGB goon VLADIMIR PUTIN has ruled this vast superpower with a rod of iron as its first post-Soviet non-alcoholic leader; whilst back in the early days of the 20th century, the iron rod (i.e., erect penis) of his near-namesake RA‑RA‑RAS PUTIN was one of the key stirrers of a pot of unrest which eventually boiled over to scald Tsar Nicholas II in the form of the Russian revolution.
So, ‘put in’ plain terms, there is no disputin’ that in the Putin stakes it’s President Vlad and ‘Mad Monk’ Ra-Ra-Ras who head the field. But in this tumultuous Putin head-to-head, which head wears the crown?
As everyone excitedly turns their thoughts to the prospect of a new Cold War with Russia which might last decades, there’s never been a better time to ask this question…
RA-RA-RAS
ROUND 1
MADDEST
faith healer-cum-mystic family therapist to the Tsar and his family, Grigori Yefimovich Rasputin became widely known as ‘The Mad Monk’, But this may have been inaccurate as there is no actual evidence that he suffered from any kind of recognisable mental illness. Admittedly Ra-Ra-Ras had visions of the Virgin Mary and St Simeon of Verkhoturye, but he may have been completely sane, as the spirits of these individuals may well have genuinely appeared before him as he claimed. In the absence of any evidence to the contrary, we have to award half marks.
