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I can’t remember how to write the numbers one, 1000, 51, six or 500 in Roman numerals. IM LIVID.
Via @DadSaysJokes on Twitter
I met my girlfriend at a West Side Story fight re-enactment society—we just clicked.
Comedian OLAF FALAFEL
I always have to watch Golden Eye before eating ready meals because the packaging says, “Pierce film before cooking”.