a novel discussion

Lend me your ears, but never your books. Really, never your books. I am a dog-earer, an underliner, a messy eater. I will destroy your precious paperbacks. Reading a book takes forever and I simply can’t be clean for more than 10 minutes a day. What am I supposed to do, read the book in micro-instalments? To salvage my relationships with friends and family, I just buy my own reading material. A borrowed book is one that needs to be treated specially and read with museum archivist gloves on.

I often imagine that people who keep their books pristine also wrap their furniture in protective plastic, have boring sex with virgins and keep that hygiene gusset sticker