Know Your Boiling Point

The key to controlling your anger and preventing destructive behaviour—even violence—is recognising that you’re becoming progressively more agitated until you reach what anger-management guru Mitch Abrams, Psy.D., calls the “explosion threshold.” And believe it or not, it’s rarely a “sudden” occurrence. Below, Abrams, who works with both pro athletes and death row inmates, walks us through a hypothetical escalation. At each point, he recommends visualisation exercises to bring you back down to your “baseline”—the resting emotional state when you’re calm, content, and happy.

1) You’re unaware you’re irritated

“You wake up with a headache and some flu symptoms,” Abrams says. “You’re in a negative mindset but don’t even notice it.”