29 EXCUSES FOR WHY GUYS DON’T SEE A SHRINK ...and why they’re all BS
1 THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH ME.
Going to counselling isn’t about something being wrong with you any more than going to the gym to work on your triceps is about something being wrong with your arms. Counselling is like seeing a trainer, says Amy Morin, a psychotherapist and the author of 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do. “Therapists have specialised knowledge and therefore can cut time for improvement.” Mike R, for instance, a 27-year-old who first saw a counsellor as a uni student for his crippling anxiety, says, “Therapy has made a massive difference. There’s only so much you can do by writing in a journal and talking to yourself”.
2 Okay, fine. Maybe something’s kind of broken. But a shrink can’t fix me.
That’s not the point. “Think of your therapist as a consultant, much like you would think about your accountant or a lawyer,” says Dr David Wexler, executive director of the Relationship Training Institute. A counsellor helps you understand and manage – not fix.
3 I can’t do it – I’m the guy who is supposed to have my shit together.
Retired lieutenant colonel Dr Samantha Dutton gets it. “Many men feel they have to have it all together all the time despite how miserable they feel.” But it’s hard to do a good job when you’re miserable, so if you really need your shit together, you can’t afford not to seek help.
4 GOING TO COUNSELLING MEANS I’M WEAK.
Take it from Morin – or any successful person – when she says that asking for help is a sign of strength. “There’s a difference between acting tough and being strong,” she says. “It’s easy to act tough by pretending that problems don’t exist. It takes strength to admit you might need help.”
5 THEY’RE GONNA SIT THERE AND JUDGE ME. I’M NOT PAYING FOR THAT.
A counsellor is, by definition, disinterested in
