WINNING WITHOUT FIGHTING
The school bully confronted Jimmy. The boy stepped back into a casual posture and started to chat. As the bully’s actions intensified, Jimmy just talked. The bigger boy pressed up against him, and Jimmy casually pushed back. When the aggressor approached again, Jimmy off-balanced him. Afterward, the bully left his “victim” alone. No one got hurt. No one but the two of them even knew there had been a fight.
What really happened? Jimmy stepped back into a fighting stance. He used his arms to block the bully’s advance. Then he used a simple pressure-point push to make the other kid back up. Next, a step-and-drop technique was used to off-balance the bully, who managed to regain his footing. Then he wisely chose to leave Jimmy alone.
It could have escalated into a serious fight. Bullies like to test their intended victims. In this scenario, the aggressor tested Jimmy, but Jimmy stood up to him with calm confidence. The bully ratcheted things up, but Jimmy did not match the escalation, nor did he back down. He protected himself without contributing to the fight.
John Maxwell, a renowned leadership expert, once said, “When there is a problem, the leader shows up with two buckets: one with water, one with gasoline. Decide which one you’ll throw on the fire.” In this scenario, Jimmy threw water on the problem. He extinguished the situation, never fueling it into a fistfight.
STAIR-STEP ESCALATION
A fight that isn’t initiated with a violent act develops one step at a time. Someone makes a snide comment
