The Growing Up Years: Ages Birth to 20When a man is in his teenage years, people with good intentions will ask, “What are your plans for the future?” Fewer than 10% of us have a real plan at that age, but we make one up so that we don’t disappoint those who believe in us.I tell teenage boys the truth when I sense they are feeling adrift. “It is rare to know at your age what you want to do with your life, but people will often ask you as though you are supposed to know. But the real truth is this: If you have your head completely out of your ass by the time you are 30, you are way ahead of the game.”The Education Years: Ages 20 to 30Regulated careers – engineer, lawyer, doctor – require a young man with a plan. The rest of us just bumble along and learn from our mistakes.People assume that a man who “plans his work and works his plan” is more disciplined and has a higher I.Q. than those of us who bumble. But I believe it is better to aim your temperament than try and change it.Planners prefer structure. Bumblers prefer adventure. This doesn’t mean Bumblers are less visionary, less disciplined, less committed, or less intelligent. They just prefer to improvise, innovate, and impress, rather than plan, schedule, and execute.Planners tend to become professionals. Bumblers tend to become business owners, tradesmen, salespeople, consultants, worker bees, or bums.As of January 2024, there were 1,100,101 physicians in America. The average primary care doctor in America makes $265,000 a year. Specialists make an average of $382,000, which is about the same annual income as the owner of a modestly successful plumbing or air conditioning company with fewer than 10 employees.In January of 2023, there were 1,331,290 lawyers in America earning an average annual income of $100,626 a year. Lawyers in the 75th percentile make about $103,000. Top earners make an average of $131,000, which is about the same as a modestly successful salesperson working for a local TV or radio station.Like I said, a man’s path forward has more to do with temperament than anything else. To force a man to behave outside his temperament is cruel and unusual punishment.The Acquisition Years: Ages 30 to 40For most men, the years between 30 and 40 are about gaining experience and status and possessions as we quietly struggle and claw our way upward. Adrenaline is our drug of choice. Conspiracy theories, video games, sports betting, fishing boats, sports cars and motorcycles provide us a way of escape. These are the years when onlookers say, “The difference between men and boys is the price of their toys.”But in spite of our visible successes, we cannot quiet the inner voice that whispers, “If other people knew you the way that I know you, they would know what a phony you are.”It is no coincidence that Henry David Thoreau was just over 30 when wrote, “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation, and go to the grave with the song still in them.”The saddest of all men stay in toy-gathering mode for the rest of their lives, wanting only to make more money and a bigger name for themselves. When such a man reaches 60 and looks back at his 30th birthday, he hasn’t really gained 30 years of experience. He has had one year’s experience 30 times. But he doesn’t know how to do anything else.Having never discovered his soul, he goes to his grave with his song still in him.The Elevation Years: Ages 40 to 50For about 80 percent of American men, the decade beween 40 and 50 is when we will make our mark on the world. The big leaps forward, the fingerprints we leave behind, the stories that will be told when we are gone, usually happen between our 40th and 50th birthdays.These are the years when we begin to see clearly.These are the years when we make fewer mistakes.These are the years when we suck the juice from all of our...