Held Against My Will

FromHave Kids, They Said…

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Held Against My Will

FromHave Kids, They Said…

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Length:

40 minutes

Released:

Jan 11, 2024

Format:

Podcast episode

Description

How would you rate yourself out of 10? Rich has a theory on how people rate themselves and Nicole has a mishap involving a toilet. Also in this episode: Jennifer Coolidge impressions, the mean (and factual) things kids say and the story of how Sara got abducted in a shopping mall.

Released:

Jan 11, 2024

Format:

Podcast episode

Titles in the series (100)

Good parenting advice is everywhere but SiriusXM hosts Nicole Ryan and Rich Davis aren’t afraid to pull the curtain back and laugh at some of their own parenting fails.

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Trailer: Coming Soon: Longtime friends Nicole and Rich have gone from carefree twenty-somethings to (somewhat) responsible parents of small children. They exchange war stories about family life and laugh about the absurdity of modern parenting. by Have Kids, They Said…
1 min listen
Toonophilia: Keegan’s #winning has got Nicole on edge and Rich’s workout equipment is rebelling. by Have Kids, They Said…
33 min listen
We’re Thankful For…: No one wants to hang out with Rich and Nicole recounts how she got into an accidental beef with a woman on a scooter. by Have Kids, They Said…
36 min listen
Judgy Do-Gooders: Nicole hates everything this week but most prominently Keegan’s “I can do it myself” phase and Rich learns about the crusty bacterial nightmare, impetigo. by Have Kids, They Said…
32 min listen
Other Kids Ruin Everything: Rich and Nicole are sick of other people’s bratty kids and wonder how to discern if your child will grow up to be a serial killer. by Have Kids, They Said…
31 min listen
What Did You Just Say to Me?: Between knock knock jokes, accusations of insanity and blatant lies, Nicole’s entire family has turned against her and Rich is discovering that he’s on the fast track to becoming Emmy’s bitch. by Have Kids, They Said…
38 min listen
Hanukkah Bush: Nicole and Rich debate whether Santa can be used as a threat and Nicole remembers how her family celebrated Hanukkah growing up. by Have Kids, They Said…
37 min listen
Release the Beast: Nicole and Rich take on “Unparenting” and talk through some of their less conventional parenting methods. by Have Kids, They Said…
36 min listen
Donut or Doin’ It?: Rich is negotiating with terrorists (aka Emmy) and Nicole is dealing with limbs being stuck in places where limbs simply should not go. Also, when was the last time you ate a donut…. by Have Kids, They Said…
31 min listen
Private Parts: Nicole and Rich get into the nitty-gritty of how to handle kids handling their private parts and Ben dons his very becoming baby helmet. by Have Kids, They Said…
35 min listen
Johnny!: Rich is off kids duty for a week which means sex and pizza and Nicole taught her son Keegan something she now (sort of) regrets. by Have Kids, They Said…
35 min listen
Swinging Into 2021: Nicole and Rich guess one another's resolutions and explore which of their kids’ recent habits should actually concern them. by Have Kids, They Said…
37 min listen
Cake Pops.: Nicole and Rich both hate the Brits this week, agree that Cake Pops are a food group for people under five and ponder the cutoff age for having sex in front of your children. by Have Kids, They Said…
32 min listen
The 11th Floor: Nicole suspects her son, Keegan, might be clairvoyant and Rich has had it with stickers. by Have Kids, They Said…
41 min listen
Crying Over Spilt Milk: Rich believes he’s being emotionally abused by his three-year-old and Nicole has a story about getting peed on. by Have Kids, They Said…
37 min listen
The F-Word: Certain words are being banned in Nicole’s house and Rich gets his first “Dad” from Emmy. by Have Kids, They Said…
40 min listen
A Series of Unfortunate Events: Rich is wearing a beautiful bathrobe to begin celebrating the holidays and Nicole is in a glass case of emotion. by Have Kids, They Said…
34 min listen
Booblets: Nicole faces the next generation of “calm down, relax” and Rich is impressed with Emmy’s creative lyrical ad-libbing. by Have Kids, They Said…
34 min listen
Observing the Childless: Rich has been observing friends without children and breaks down their envious daily activities for Nicole who can’t get enough of her greatest escape: Bridgerton. by Have Kids, They Said…
40 min listen
Sara Speaks: Special guest Sara (Rich’s beautiful wife) has a lot to say about Rich this week and Nicole gets into a case involving mismatched pajamas. by Have Kids, They Said…
35 min listen
Was it Really Broke?: Rich and Nicole explore things that were better before they “fixed” them, what's growing in your kids bath toys and why zoom is ruining us all. by Have Kids, They Said…
42 min listen
Bragging at Inopportune Moments: Rich fights his passive-aggressive nature and avoids bragging about Emmy and Nicole’s husband Matt has a zoom crush. by Have Kids, They Said…
38 min listen
Burn by Have Kids, They Said…
47 min listen
Sasshole: Rich and Nicole get into the weirdness of Santa pandemic pictures and reminisce about their own school photos. by Have Kids, They Said…
36 min listen
Barista Boys and Bouncy Slides: “I’m glad everybody’s here because it’s time to listen, pull up a chair” - Rich Davis by Have Kids, They Said…
46 min listen
To Vasectomy or not to Vasectomy?: From cows with surprising names to that big question Dad’s face, this week Rich and Nicole have got genitalia on the brain. by Have Kids, They Said…
37 min listen
Christmas Nightmares: Keegan Spills at the dentist (multiple times) and Emmy has been permanently scarred by the Disney version of a Christmas Carol. by Have Kids, They Said…
44 min listen
Happy Swallow Schween!: Nicole and Rich celebrate an important anniversary to kick off this special, where they reminisce about Halloweens past and lament the limitations of Halloween present. by Have Kids, They Said…
35 min listen
Letters Home: Rich discovers his calling and Nicole recounts a mortifying letter sent home to friends about their son. by Have Kids, They Said…
42 min listen
Thank You Jefus: Rich has a story about a drugstore rainbow unicorn and Nicole is correcting Parker about some hilarious mistakes. by Have Kids, They Said…
43 min listen

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Not Car-ee!: Rich experiences the biggest meltdown ever in public while his partner Sarah has a Mom’s Night Out where the gals let their hair down. Nicole hears all about the modern parenting trends right now and especially wants to let her kids get bored, but you can’t miss her story about one of kids letting a big one rip in the elevator. by Have Kids, They Said…
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Who’s the F*cking Boss?: It’s time to debrief on the events of Mother’s Day because Nicole isn’t happy, and when did it become her responsibility to capture all the family memories!? Meanwhile, Rich is trying some new discipline techniques to stop the eye rolling and we hear your parenting questions about birthday party etiquette, maintaining friendships and more. by Have Kids, They Said…
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Bathroom Pump Up: Should parents still ground their kids? That's today's big topic, but first Nicole's hubby Matt makes a guest appearance to help settle an important debate: is it normal for men to do bathroom push-ups before sex? Plus, in "Top That" we hear why dog owners may want to avoid buying a Roomba and about the bonkers photo requests made by Rich's seatmate on a recent flight. by Have Kids, They Said…
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Girthy Gary: Nicole and Rich dive into the week's hot pop culture news, from The Roast of Tom Brady to the Drake vs. Kendrick Lamar rap beef—and you bet Nicole somehow manages to bring the convo back to Taylor Swift. They then answer your questions about healthy eating habits for kids, how to choose another couple to vacation with, and how to handle a toddler sneaking out at night. If you want to learn Rich and Nicole's early radio host nicknames, you won't want to miss this episode! by Have Kids, They Said…
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Where Should I Put This Bad Boy?: As professional talkers both Nicole and Rich have been suffering from the Art of Small Talk recently. Rich cannot believe the words that are coming out of his mouth in various awkward encounters this week. Meanwhile, Nicole’s son has been up to mischief and her housecleaner shaming her bedroom antics. We hate cake pops, lice and Woody Woodpecker this week and you will laugh/cry too. Oh! And Nicole & Rich will be reunited soon and celebrate 20 years of friendship! by Have Kids, They Said…
37 min listen
Put the P in the V: Today, Nicole can’t even get one whole minute alone from the kids to record the podcast while Rich nurses a Little League injury from a 6 year-old. It’s peak parenting time all round! We hear from you this week, with your questions about travel, Justin Beiber & Jerry Seinfeld, when’s the right time to have another kid and what are three things we can’t live without. by Have Kids, They Said…
34 min listen
Financial Boner: As a parent, what is turning you on? Rich & Nicole are constantly surprised at what has them hot and bothered. It’s Spring Break for Nicole and she’s discovered her love language is logistics while her husband Matt is chaotically “time blind”. Rich is juggling some wildly competitive kids on the softball field. And we wanna know, are you ordering kids meals for yourself while dining out? Also Nicole interviews The Rock with an unfortunate interruption from her kid. Truly a ‘Have Kids They Said’ moment. by Have Kids, They Said…
38 min listen
Keep It Hairy: We learn how to properly blow (out candles) and while we're waiting for the Spice Girls reunion, Taylor Swift teaches us about what "fortnight" means. Rich continues to be a sport fan but please no farts. Nicole and Rich ask the big questions: Do we worry about the end of the world? Is the best era of Women’s Sports here? And what is the right protocol with kids' parties and no gifts? But if you're under 45 years old and your name is Barbara, Nicole & Rich wanna know you! Give the IG a follow and send a DM! by Have Kids, They Said…
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Play Fierce: Today Nicole and Rich recap stories from Coachella and The Masters before discussing acceptable excuses to miss your child's birth. Then, cool mom Nicole laments that her kids are finding her more embarrassing while Rich sounds off on parents who think it's wrong to coach kids in sports to "play angry." And last but not least, Rich reveals he sobbed during the Bluey half-hour special and Nicole recounts how her auctioneer career got effed by a dumb Gatsby font. Top that! by Have Kids, They Said…
40 min listen
Koozie Stache: Nicole has new glasses! Which naturally leads to discussing... smuggling drugs through TSA inside bodily orifices? Yep! After that fun detour, Rich & Nicole dish about NYC reducing its rat population using RAT BIRTH CONTROL (yes, this is real), how weird it is seeing a teacher outside of school, and restaurant check splitting etiquette. Plus, they dive into how to keep a younger child occupied at events (hint: stuff their face with snacks) and if it's ok to taste your partner's breast milk. Yum? by Have Kids, They Said…
37 min listen
Peppermint Patty: What are we wearing to school drop off & pick up, people? Rich thinks parents are a little TOO put together in LA, meanwhile New Yorkers are 1000% keeping it real like usual, according to Nicole. This episode you’re getting all the ups and downs of parent life: drama at the junior sports league, whether to book a cleaner or DIY, accidentally creating VIP kids and finally, we’ll find out what the difference between a hotel and a motel is. by Have Kids, They Said…
43 min listen
Hide the Smut: If you’re calling radio stations and making song requests in the year 2024, then Nicole and Rich are not going to stand for it! This episode, you’ll hear a little game of ‘Nerd OR Awesome?’ and we wanna know: what kind of books would you put on display on your newly built bookshelves? You’ll also get the lowdown on the team’s fave emojis, a bunch of fun listener questions and which fast food restaurant we’d want to literally bottle and make into a candle. by Have Kids, They Said…
36 min listen
Sex Lives of Conjoined Girls: This week has been a doozy - Nicole gives an update to her eye problems and why her health is causing her so much stress. But on to lighter things - doesn’t everyone in New York have a friend who f*cked Jeter? This week Nicole hates that her son forgets to flush, not doing Target HER way, and not being able to see causing her to go the wrong way on the subway. Rich hates that his daughter isn’t being gentle with his son, that everything in their house is a competition, and his kids being picky. But that’s okay, because we’ve GOT to talk about how conjoined twin Abby Hensel got married. I mean…what does that entail. Rich and Nicole say what everyone is thinking. Finally, they top that with bad health days, not being the funniest person in the room, and is this cake? by Have Kids, They Said…
40 min listen
Sick Pirate: Now this is how you start a podcast - coughing your lungs out. Why? Because everyone is sick. Nicole and Rich talk about how you can’t blame someone for getting you sick anymore. Nicole opens up about her current “Ace Ventura vibe,” and Rich reads his list of the week (kids need to read the room, holidays are too complicated, and no bad April Fools pranks). They answer your questions about dealing with your kids’ bad friends, allowing independence, and wonder what’s the deal with grandparents these days? by Have Kids, They Said…
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Marigolds & Gummies: Today, Nicole and Rich are wondering how you enhance your life as a parent (without your kids around!) before getting into spring break activities that drain us of our energy and our wallets, fun date night ideas and you’ll find out why Rich has a nipple problem. by Have Kids, They Said…
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Bangin’ Oldies: Nicole and Rich jumped to conclusions and debrief after the recent Royal news and they wanna know: when did you get it wrong? Meanwhile, they whip through some insightful parenting advice thanks to your questions on sleeping, how many precious years do we have with our kids and how to find time for your sex life while parenting. Also, we have some hot tips on baby names, and how P.F. Chang's determined Rich’s kid name. A friendly reminder that this podcast is definitely not safe for kids, it’s for parents only! by Have Kids, They Said…
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Droppin’ Loads: Nicole and Rich are thinking about two things: the Olympics and ... Kate Middleton. Stick around for things we hate this week (could give you the ICK - the NSFW variety), if our kids are competitive (and if we want them to be as parents), and some wild naked escapades that could actually be the best 'Top That' of all time. by Have Kids, They Said…
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Faked It!: When was the last time you had a sloppy joe? Nicole & Rich are back with lots of flavorful stories (and memories) along with The F*ck Do We Know questions for you today about parenting, how you find a great (or just decent) pediatrician, how do you get your kids to eat actual healthy food and plenty more. by Have Kids, They Said…
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Turn Up the Heat: Parents have gone wild this week as Rich is back from vacation and knows way too much about the Spring Breaker crowd. We talk about what 'words' work with your kids, who is the 'fun parent' (Rich? or Nicole?) and then what goes down in the intimacy aisle STAYS in the intimacy aisle. Steamy! by Have Kids, They Said…
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Collect All Six: Today, Nicole is not committing Murder on the Dancefloor, while Rich has his kids packing light for vacation. The pair celebrate the Kelce family's success in parenting Jason & Travis and recall two VERY different parents from the first reality TV show: The Osbournes. Nicole & Rich also dig deep into whether we need parent's permission to post photos to socials. Special guest stars Emmy & Ben pop by and their collectible toys (and what we hate)! by Have Kids, They Said…
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The Hot Ones: Nicole & Rich are back with their regular podcasting schedule and here to answer your questions on a Tuesday! Do we want to know the ins and outs of famous people's sex lives? Have we heard about the F*ck You Fours as opposed to the Terrible Twos? What's your fantasy now you're a parent? What's the best age to travel with your kids for an actual relaxing holiday? AND, are you the hot one at school pick up? by Have Kids, They Said…
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Throw That Butter: Parenting experts Rich and Nicole explain why you should throw butter at your kids. They also answer the big questions like: should kids be punished for using violence as self defense? Should teachers punish students for eating "unhealthy snacks? Should you follow your friend's OnlyFans account? All this and more on Have Kids, They Said. by Have Kids, They Said…
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Parental Partying: With the Super Bowl coming up, Rich and Nicole go over partying around kids and where to draw the line. Rich’s volunteer position turns into “volun-telling” him what to do and Nicole has another story where parents get too intense watching kids sports. The pair also go over the school book fair, parents who take too much time with pictures, and dropping the ball… literally. by Have Kids, They Said…
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Bloody Balls: Supporting your kids can be tough, especially when it comes to shaving their bits. Rich and Nicole go over how to handle awkward questions, traveling without kids and if sex during pregnancy is weird. Your favorite parenting “experts” also discuss Matt’s latest knee injury, dressing slutty over 40 and how 40% of Americans don’t have a bestie. by Have Kids, They Said…
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Little B*tch Rich: Rich goes to Disneyland with his family and loses his temper at one of the employees. Meanwhile, Nicole has all sorts of questions about something called “Man Camp”. Also, is it worse for men when they get sick or do women simply have a higher tolerance for discomfort? This and more on this episode of Have Kids, They Said. by Have Kids, They Said…
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Hornables: How do you handle rude dance moms, family fights over TV’s and friends taking their sick kids out in public? Nicole and Rich give their hot takes on these topics and more, like what body parts they’re willing to expose for a joke and the unexpected side effects of edibles. by Have Kids, They Said…
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Bad Daddy: Sports can bring out the worst in parents as Nicole and Matt discover at their kid’s basketball game. Also in this episode: a sleepover gone horribly wrong, the magic of Hulk Hogan, the struggle of constant fatigue and the pain of slow walkers. by Have Kids, They Said…
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Held Against My Will

Held Against My Will

Description

Titles in the series (100)

More Episodes from Have Kids, They Said…

Related podcast episodes