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There's a lot to plan for in retirement.  A big one may be caregiving. Jarie Bolander was suddenly thrust into the role of caregiver when his wife Jane was diagnosed with a terminal illness in 2016. He joins us to share his lessons learned in the hopes that it will help others. He's written a book Ride or Die: Loving Through Tragedy, A Husband's Memoir about his experiences as a caregiver.

Jarie Bolander joins us from San Francisco.

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Bio

Jarie Bolander caught the startup bug right after graduating from San Jose State University in 1995 with a degree in electrical engineering. With 6 startups, 7.75 books, and 10 patents under his belt, his experience runs the gamut from semiconductors to life sciences to nonprofits. He also hosts a podcast called The Entrepreneur Ethos, which is based on his last book by the same name. When he’s not helping clients convert a concept to a viable strategy, he can be found on the Jiu-Jitsu mat (he’s a blue belt), interviewing entrepreneurs on his podcast, or researching the latest in earthship construction techniques. He’s engaged to a wonderful woman named Minerva, her daughter, and their Bernedoodle, Sage. Currently, Jarie lives and works in San Francisco, where he works as head of market strategy for Decision Counsel, a B2B growth consulting firm.

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For More on Jarie Bolander 
Ride or Die: Loving Through Tragedy, a Husband's Memoir
Website

The Daily MBA

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The Best Day of My Life So Far

The Power of Reinvention – Joanne Lipman

The Well-Lived Life – Dr. Gladys McGarey

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Wise Quotes

On Community

"The burden of life is not a solo sport. And I know, life is joy. But there is a burden to living because of stuff like this. You get injured. You lose your job. Your wife dies or your husband dies. Your kid gets sick. You cannot shoulder the burden alone. You just can't. I don't care how strong you are, even on the most elite military units in the world, it's a team. They spread the misery, right? It's individual. But they know that their buddy's got their back if the thing hits the fan. They know that in their soul. But, us normal folk, we generally don't have that kind of discipline or that connection, and community. I strive every day to continue to build those strong bonds with the community. I'm here today because of that, all my friends, and it's powerful."

On Being Present



"She needed me to be present for her. And over time I realized that, and then, even she even acknowledged it. She's like, Look, I know you need to get away from this.  This was the gift that I always think about. She was worried about my health and well-being too. So I think for men, it's not always what you're doing as a caregiver. It's being present. It's being thoughtful. It's like listening. It's like having them being heard. Because they're in a awkward spot. Jane was a Type A entrepreneur, changing the world, doing whatever she wants.  Now she's like, Hey babe, can you get me some towels? Hey babe, what's it like outside in the real world? It felt like prison to her. I learned about myself that if you have a halfway decent attitude, you could pretty much get through anything. You don't have to be stellar. You just have to show up and be committed. And you're going to make mistakes and things are not going go bad. But if you've got good intent, you're working towards it."



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About Retirement Wisdom

I help people who are retiring, but not quite done yet, discover what’s next. A long retirement is a terrible thing to waste. And a meaningful retirement doesn’t just happen by accident. Retire smarter.