Hello and welcome, I’m Renée Valentina and this is Musing Interruptus. A podcast meant for sharing thoughts, stories, enjoying idiomatic phrases and words in general. You can read along; the transcription is in the description of this episode. The idiomatic expressions are in italics. Try to get the meaning from the context and then look them up to see if you were right. If you like it, share it, but more importantly, continue the conversation. Today, Don’t Die That Way!
I hope you are sitting down and paying close attention. This might save your life. I can be good that way. Let’s call this, me paying it forward as someone else has helped me avoid death. So settle in… are you ready? 
The wind is changing direction, erratically. I can feel it pulling me in opposite directions, blowing my hair across my face. The mist in the air is quickly becoming drops of water, getting fatter and fatter with each passing gust of wind. Frankly, I’m happy to be tossed around by the wind for a while.
Just before the peaceful sky was interrupted by the thunder, rolling in, I could feel my chest tighten in anticipation. Of what, I couldn’t tell you just yet.
I’m no stranger to facing storms on my own. Blackouts and shuttering windows. The deafening relentless beating of rain on the protective shell I call a home. What a thing to lie on my back, under the skylight wondering if the hail will find it way through the glass, I’m reassured it won’t—this time. My e-reader is my best friend on long nights when the power is out. The howling wind is no match for the stories and worlds that open up after a few lines.
There is music in the storm. Sometimes louder, menacing even. Others, it is softer. It brings back memories of my father yelling and the calm once the scolding was over. A storm is coming, and the anticipation is mounting. The rumbling of clouds rolling in, is like waiting for a concert to start.  Storms bring change, destruction, growth. It’s nature's laundering process. Speaking of laundry, I’m reminded of what a special place the laundry room is. The thunk, thunk, thunk, thunk, of the dryer. The swishing of the washing machine. Repetitive noises you can count on, like a familiar song. Oh, a great many stories have occurred in laundry rooms. Generally, a secluded part of the house. Not far enough you cannot hear the thunk thunk thunk or swish swish swish. I like cleaning it. Other people like murdering in it… I just watched the Candy Montgomery story, and boy oh boy, what an impact that made. I can imagine the wa chi ca wow version, that is not an ax coming at you.
Which brings me to, please, don’t die that way! I was reading an article by Lauren Gray and she has a lot to say about this. Did you know, that 73% of lightning deaths occur during the summer months. She indicates, “there are three key conditions needed to create a thunderstorm: Excessive moisture in the air, atmospheric instability, and a trigger that gets the atmosphere moving.” According to this article I’m reading, there are things we shouldn’t do during a storm: for instance, go near water, because water conducts electricity.  So stay stinky, and stay germy. Stay alive. Unplug electronics. This is a no-brainer, you don’t want to kill your appliances and modern technology. Do not, I repeat, do not go near your fireplace. I do not have one of these, so I will build one and subsequently stay away from it and stay alive. 
Stay alive, do not stay outside. The outside is a peculiar place. So if it thunders, do not stay outside, stay alive just far away from the shower, or any faucet and the fireplace. Oh, and, concrete can conduct electricity too… so, be prepared to play the floor is lava if you have concrete floors or concrete walls, don’t touch. The house is becoming an electrified maze of pain and possible death! Continue reading

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