The loss of a sibling can be devastating. It means the severing of a shared history and common memories. But the grief can be overshadowed by that of children, parents and partners. Kim Chakanetsa talks to an Irish writer and an academic from Botswana about how the death of a brother and a sister changed their lives.

Dr Senzokuhle Doreen Setume is a professor at the University of Botswana. She researches the impact of ignoring traditional rites in grief counselling. Her twin sister died when they were 37. As well as losing the person she’d shared her whole life with Senzokuhle lost her identity as a twin. She says the cultural pressure to not show grief affected her deeply.

Carmel McMahon was living in New York when her 20 year old brother died in a car crash. Her grief triggered a long period of alcoholism and she turned to writing to help her recovery. Her book, In Ordinary Time, mines the ways trauma reverberates through time and through individual lives. She draws connections from tragically lost siblings to the broader social scars of Ireland’s long history.


Produced by Jane Thurlow

(Image: (L) Carmel McMahon, credit Lauren Carroll. (R) Senzokuhle Setume, courtesy Senzokuhle Setume.)