Drew Robinson shares his incredible story of struggling with depression and surviving a suicide attempt, and how the experience of living through it opened his eyes to how much he would have missed out on and what life really has to offer. Learn why Drew’s focus on perfection created a vicious negative feedback loop in his life and how he’s learned to let go of his ego and live life one day at a time.
Growing up for Drew was fast paced. He was constantly outside and constantly getting into trouble, with baseball being a major focus throughout his life.
Drew was the kind of kid who wore his heart on his sleeve all the time. He was emotional about setbacks and always tried to follow in his brother’s footsteps but felt like he always fell short.
We all have an image of perfection in our minds when we’re growing up, and chasing the illusion of perfection leads to the constant sense of being less than you could be. For Drew, this felt like every mistake he made meant he was a bad person and failing at life.
Living a life like that can be extremely painful. Drew sought distractions to make himself feel better, at least temporarily, but they didn't do anything to really improve the situation.
There is so much room for comparison in life and professional sports. Drew felt like a lesser player when he compared himself to other baseball players and this led to feeling like a lesser person. It’s a recipe for a negative emotional balance.
Drew is grateful to have survived his suicide attempt and come out of it with a different mindset. The moment he woke up, he started asking how he could use his experience in a positive way. 
Drew’s first real teacher was his high school baseball coach. He still speaks to him on a regular basis because it’s not common to find a person that cares about you as a person first, and what you do second. 
Leading up to Drew’s suicide attempt, he called off his wedding and questioned every decision he was making. He was worried about being done with baseball after being an athlete for his entire life and he started questioning whether life was worth the effort.
He started planning out his suicide very methodically, even writing out the things he wanted to say in his suicide note. He had a number of opportunities to reach out to people that cared about him but unfortunately, he didn’t risk that kind of connection.
On April 16, Drew shot himself in the head and survived. Over the next 20 hours, he realized that he wanted to live and regards that moment as a beautiful experience within terrible circumstances.
When Drew shot himself, he killed his ego. Having a near death experience revealed how important the little things in life are. It made Drew realize that there was so much more to life than baseball.
His relationship with baseball has completely changed. He’s still trying to improve his skill set but he’s trying to find the sweet spot between his profession and the rest of his life.
The middle ground is the holy ground. We are all trying to find our center and it’s important to have the tools and techniques like meditation and journaling to do that.
In the same way that one negative thought can turn into suicidal thoughts and then actual planning, one positive thought can manifest some incredibly positive things as well.
Drew had to stop the narrative that he wasn’t quite good enough in the various areas of his life in order to begin telling his comeback story. Dropping the expectation of perfection was the beginning of accepting the process of failure and growth.
Drew is grateful just to be alive now and recognizes how much he would have missed had his suicide attempt been successful.
Drew didn’t have self-love and that led to him always spinning things around to be about him in pursuit of that feeling of value. The lack of self-love prevented Drew from accepting the love from other people in his life. 
Filling yourself up allows you to pour things onto other people; whether that’s love or encouragement, it c