On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather chats with herself in a downward spiral about this dumbest shit ever, per usual. It's her birthday and she is reporting live from the Turks and Caicos. RIGHT BY THE BEACH BOIIII. She is full of gratitude and rosé and a slight flicker of positivity.      Head over to WOO More Play and use code ABSOLUTELY for 20 percent off!      Head  over to NoDaysWasted.CO/ABSOLUTELY and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY” at checkout for 20% off your order!    Go to FunctionofBeauty.com/​absolutely​ to take your quiz and save 20% on your first order.   Go to Brooklinen.com and use promo code absolutelynot to get $25 off, with a minimum purchase of $100.   Produced by Dear Media.