This is the Babylon Bee Weekly News Podcast for the week of 12/11/2020. In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan are joined by actress Wendy Shapero, who you may know from Dirt, Free Samples, Robot Chicken, or the voice of the mom from our very own Babylon Bee animation. They talk about the week’s biggest stories like how our government is covering up aliens being among us, the vaccine being distributed through pyramid schemes, and how Santa’s Nice List has become compromised through software glitches. They also talk about how Kung Fu masters look to spread the gospel of the iron crotch, read hate mail, and wonder how many trendy food products Wendy will pitch to us before the show ends. Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more. To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans This episode is brought to you by Faithful Counseling. Babylon Bee listeners get 10% their first month at that link. Intro Wendy talks about some of the roles she has played for The Babylon Bee and Robot Chicken. You might recognize her voice as the mom for our family or from the Halloween special. Here is the song she can’t get out of her head right now. Stuff that’s Good Kyle likes Almost Heroes Ethan likes Sugar Taylor sauce and Junebug rub Wendy Shapero likes walking on hot coals with Tony Robbins and TUSOL which she swears is totally not a pyramid scheme. Weird NewsAliens in hiding until mankind is ready, says ex-Israeli space head Space aliens have reached an agreement with the US government to stay mum on the experiments they conduct on Earth — as well as their secret base on Mars — until mankind is ready to accept them, the former head of Israel’s space program, 87-year old Haim Eshed, claimed in a new interview. “Trump was on the verge of revealing [aliens existence], but the aliens in the Galactic Federation are saying, ‘Wait, let people calm down first,'” Eshed, who helmed Israel’s space security program from 1981 to 2010, reportedly said. “They don’t want to start mass hysteria. They want to first make us sane and understanding.” He also claims astronauts have already been to Mars… at the Alien’s secret base California man punches 350-pound bear in face to save beloved dog 'Buddy' This happened in Nevada county, the bear had the dog by the head in its mouth and was dragging it back into the woods 100 ft away so Kaleb Benham ran out and punched the 350 pound bear in the face.  Buddy went into surgery and came out after three hours with some stitches and some staples, but was able to return home for Thanksgiving. Benham and Buddy spent the holiday in bed resting up and healing. Buddy is expected to make a full recovery. “I’m OK, Just A Bit Tired”: Italian Man Walks 450 Kilometers To Cool Off After Arguing With His Wife A man from Italy walked 280 miles after an argument with his wife He was caught by police and fined for breaking the lockdown.  Wife had to pick him up and drive him back home after paying the fine.  Mall Santa Rejects Nerf Gun Request, Brings Boy to Tears A video making the rounds on social media shows a mall Santa bringing a young boy to tears by rejecting the child’s request for a Nerf gun, and going even further to say, “No guns.” The New York Post reported the story, referring to the Kris Kringle imitator as a “politically correct Santa.” Update: Christmas justice! That mall fired Woke Santa and got a nerf gun for the kid he made cry. Chinese “iron crotch” kung fu masters fight to preserve a painful-looking tradition These guys smash their testicles Its most famous technique involves a steel-plate capped log, 6.5 feet in length and weighing 88 pounds that swings through the air and smashes into a man’s crotch. “When you practise iron crotch kung fu, as long as you push yourself, you will feel great,” said Wang, head of the Juntun Martial Arts Academy. Man uses sword to slice