Twenty years after the September 11th attacks it’s hard to say that we have learned any valuable lessons from that tragedy. Do we have more common sense and a better understanding of foreign relations? Nope. Do we care about the people of New York more than we did 20 years ago? Fuhgeddaboutit. And after two decades of daily being told to never forget, the one thing we can’t seem to remember from that day is how to act in unison with singular purpose. We don’t agree on the facts of that day, and it may be that on that day the last shreds of something approaching universal truth disappeared in a conflagration of jet fuel, printer paper, and copier toner. The full-on assault on the truth and common sense may have started soon after the towers fell when Larry Silverstein, who had signed a 99-year lease on the buildings a few weeks prior, sued his insurance companies saying that it was two attacks and not one, so he should get double the money. So from the very beginning of the rebuilding process, there was no agreement on what happened and 20 years later, everything is seemingly up for litigation. Nothing is ever over, there’s always one more court to go to or one more politician to try to buy off. If you wonder why Americans are exhausted, this is why. 

It is also the time of the high holidays for those of the Jewish faith, and while your host had an upbringing in that religion, he no longer finds it to be a place of comfort or sanctuary. Perhaps telling a five-year old that Yom Kippur is the day that his name will be written into the book of life or the book of death is what drove him away. Having received a full Jewish education your host knows for certain that to be written into the book of life, it would help to be vaccinated. (Note that despite untruthful internet rumors, Lewis does not get paid by anyone to say “get vaccinated”. But he’s happy to take offers.) 

And Lewis was able to celebrate his mom’s 103rd birthday with her this week. She’s a centenarian with nary a wrinkle on her face, and when asked what her beauty regimen is, she answered “nothing”. She just washes her face once a day. Jeannette has other important life advice: people really like it when you smile. It’s worked for her for more than a century.

The rants this week don’t have as cheery or celebratory an outlook, as the patience of the vaccinated toward the unvaccinated continues to wane and the social fabric continues to disintegrate. There are also submissions about the Texas abortion/bounty law, the parental hell that is Disney World, bank customers who don’t want to show ID, even though it’s to protect their money, and the Kars4Kids jingle. And for the people made insane by high concert ticket fees, some more Jeannette Black-endorsed advice: join Lewis’ F.U.C.K.U. fan club to get pre-sale access to the best seats in the theater, without paying ticket fees or “convenience” charges.

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