Back when Lewis was barely AARP age-eligible, US forces invaded Afghanistan and now, nearly 20 years later, your esteemed host is fully qualified for Social Security. And come September, the US military will have fully withdrawn from the Central/South Asian Republic. What did it all mean? Did the US occupation amount to anything? From having done three USO tours there, Lewis has some personal observations: The experience of being there was a truly life-changing experience, akin to an insane LSD trip (not in a bad way); the level of sacrifice from the soldiers there, whatever the justification of the mission, was astonishing; and that saying “thank you” to those who served is meaningless without actually supporting the troops with whatever they need once they return stateside. In other news this week, the Duke of Edinburgh, Prince Philip passed away and so did Ponzi scheme perfecter Bernie Madoff. Lewis was once in an ABC miniseries about the latter which featured Richard Dreyfus as Bernie and Blythe Danner as his wife, an experience Lewis felt made drama school finally worth it. Many Republicans have stepped in to fill the chaos void left by the former leader, typified by the proposed America First Caucus, a group of representatives keen on returning the US to its supposed Anglo-Saxon roots. Lewis has a modest proposal for them: if they want to return to a pre-21st century time, let’s take some of that infrastructure money, build a time machine, and send them back to whatever time period they would feel comfortable in. Maybe a plantation would do.

After the mass shootings a few weeks ago, Lewis went on a rant of his own about the need for common sense gun control legislation, and as part of that, asked for rebuttal submissions. So we start this week’s rants with a counter response averring that many proposals to curb gun violence by restricting gun ownership are based on false premises. From there things perk up a bit with rants about the inanity of planning an indoor surprise party during the pandemic, packages being delivered to the wrong address, personal products application confusion, mask wearing, running a small business during the pandemic, and roundabouts. Plus, the rubber chicken controversy continues.

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