Dial E for Elf

FromRude Tales of Magic

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Dial E for Elf

FromRude Tales of Magic

ratings:

Length:

96 minutes

Released:

Nov 5, 2019

Format:

Podcast episode

Description

If you're not on the patreon, you're trash. Sorry!https://www.patreon.com/rudetalesofmagic

Released:

Nov 5, 2019

Format:

Podcast episode

Titles in the series (100)

Branson Reese and his jester's retinue, Christopher Hastings, Carly Monardo, Tim Platt, Joe Lepore, and Ali Fisher, buck and bumble through the magical backwater world of Cordelia. One hopes you enjoy both japes AND scrapes, because honestly, it would be impossible to disentangle one from the other, given their profound entwinement in this particular piece of entertainment. Produced by Taylor Moore @ Fortunate Horse.

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Brothers Keeper: The dead speak! Sort of. But there's no peace in the valley today, hombre. A brief respite in the Delighted Wife quickly turns to mystery, danger, and violence. Can our heroes rejoin what malice and circumstance have torn asunder? Can one person ever REALLY know another? Is there life beyond death? ALL answers will be revealed! by Rude Tales of Magic
91 min listen
GIANT SIZED New Year's Eve Holiday SPECTACULAR: Meet the industrious dwarves of Flammable Rock Holdings. They're naughty, they're nice, and they've got just a few hours to plan the ultimate company New Year's Eve party. Can they book the talent? Can they find a last minute venue? Can they defeat the giant avatar of Father Time whose inexorable march threatens everything including the passed canapes and champagne tower!?!?! Behold new game masters Ali Fisher and Chris Hastings in this, our first Holiday One Off Spectacular! For real, these two are gonna blow your mind. Happy new year! by Rude Tales of Magic
146 min listen
Down for the Count: Metaphorically at-sea and literally in-woods, our heroes struggle to survive encounters with the natives and wildlife of the Teenage Forest. Thirsty provincial royalty, swarms of altered beasts, secret societies, ancient mad scientists, and more await our heroes in the dark hollows of the great woods on this night. But will they all live to see the dawn? Become, with us, the awakened dreamer at patreon.com/rudetalesofmagic by Rude Tales of Magic
93 min listen
Pack Your Bags: Chickens come home to roost as our heroes juggle obligations old and new. Backs are stabbed. Deals are made. Loyalty is pledged. The long arm of the law doesn't bend, and destiny (or destruction?) tightens its grip. Meanwhile....the mountaintop awaits. by Rude Tales of Magic
97 min listen
A Murder of Crows: One loose thread hunts another in the shadowed labyrinth of Scrum North, the erstwhile temple-cum-Kenku bandit hideaway. Blades in the dark. Betrayals remembered. Promises made. A new power dips a toe in the water. Can we escape our past? Would we even want to? by Rude Tales of Magic
91 min listen
Fools Crush In (LIVE in Brooklyn): The gang is whisked away by a malevolent, though romantic, force who will pry every secret from their most hidden hearts! Can they survive his psychological gauntlet? What truth will they dare to reveal? This episode of Rude Tales of Magic was recorded in front of a live studio audience of ONLY people we have crushes on. by Rude Tales of Magic
100 min listen
Class Dismissed: The beginning! What a fine place to start. We meet our nascent heroes in the throes of the beginning of the sunset of their scholastic salad days. Demon possessions, ominous warnings, and threats from Hell itself auger ill and trouble. Can they matriculate from danger to destiny? Can they graduate magna cum...adventure? Come hear even more perfect-but-accessible-in-a-fun-sexy-way entertainment at www.patreon.com/rudetalesofmagic by Rude Tales of Magic
89 min listen
[Miniseries] Come at the King: Chapter 4: It's high crimes, light treason, and social faux pas par excellence at the Power Ball in the caverns beneath Payola, and our inverted-heroes (the opposite of heroes in a way if you think about it) must navigate the slippery social ladder and high society chaos as their prey draws breathlessly near. Masks on, listener, and save a spot on your dance card...for danger! by Rude Tales of Magic
84 min listen
Mother Knows Best: It's a family reunion...of sorts, when our heroes are introduced to their mysterious host in the heart of The Nest. Who or what is She? What dark trials must our heroes best? What will be the horrible price of their freedom? If sweat is the pee of the skin, is spit the pee of the mouth? ALL WILL BE ANSWERED in... Mother Knows Best! All the music in this episode is by HOME. Goodness gracious go buy that album at https://music.midwestcollective.us/album/before-the-night Then come hang out with us on Patreon. You'll love it. It's fun. by Rude Tales of Magic
87 min listen
[UNLOCKED] Rude Talks of Chatting #10 "Buggin Out": The Rude Tales' VAULT has been OPENED and this episode of Rude Talks of Chatting (our aftershow for Patrons) has been UNLOCKED. This is the episode discussing episode 10, Buggin Out, about the prison break in the Soaking Valley. We hope you enjoy it as much as we did: a lot! by Rude Tales of Magic
68 min listen
[Miniseries] Come At the King: Chapter 2: The blast from the past continues as our would be assassins delve into the sultry Suggestions District, on the lookout for an infamous bugbear femme fatale and her terrible secret about the Emperor. From outré vice to the inner circles of Payola's aristocracy, the mission to end the Emperor blunders ahead, but what illicit ears listen from the city's dark shadows? by Rude Tales of Magic
90 min listen
Rude Tales of Magic presents "Married to the Sea" LIVE at Union Hall: This episode of Rude Tales of Magic was recorded live in front of a studio audience. Also, it's non-canon so anyone ESPECIALLY STIRFRY can die. by Rude Tales of Magic
93 min listen
Dial E for Elf: When a rich, protestant elf gets epsteined (murdered) at the posh Lindseyngham Manor, our heroes must become the crack investigators they were always meant to be. Listen as they ruthlessly interrogate witnesses, brilliantly analyze evidence, and work as a team to explore all the potential angles in this well-structured whodunit! by Rude Tales of Magic
96 min listen
Rude Tales of Magic: The Trailer: Captain tease, please! by Rude Tales of Magic
2 min listen
[Miniseries] Come at the King: Chapter 6: **NEW DIGITAL LIVE SHOW on AUGUST 28TH** Get tickets now at rudetalesofmagic dot com! Meanwhile in Part 6, the chickens (and the harpies) are coming home to roost. Promises are broken, hidden agendas are revealed, and the clown inside takes the center ring. All this and a disastrous introduction to the gothic southern swamps of...LAROQUETTE! THE END IS NIGH by Rude Tales of Magic
90 min listen
[UNLOCKED] Encyclopedia Cordelia: Origins of Empire: [UNLOCKED! The Encyclopedia Cordelia is a new mini-show, sort of a "quick bite" or "qui-bi", that explores all the geography, history, and lore of the world of Cordelia. Written by insatiable lore-freak Branson Reese, every episode will be available via our subscribers-only feed. Drink from the black grail, and conjoin with us at patreon.com/rudetalesofmagic by Rude Tales of Magic
9 min listen
Black Lives Matter. Solidarity Forever.: Please visit the link in the show notes and help in any way that you can. by Rude Tales of Magic
1 min listen
When You're Here: Exhausted and fed up, our heroes battle and cajole their way through the last leg of the Teenage Woods and its brood of ridiculous and dangerous denizens. But what lies beyond? After all this, can you go home again? And what might you find there? Can our heroes bear the revelations of the Dawn house? Can you? by Rude Tales of Magic
82 min listen
[Miniseries] Come at the King: Chapter 5: A single moment of chaos and madness throws the fate of the entire Cordelian Empire into question as our heroes face the final, shocking carnage of the Power Ball. But perhaps the greatest danger they face is merely the darkness within...themselves! Also hello! We have our FIRST T-SHIRTS up for sale at rudetalesofmagic.com. Theeeeeyyyy'rrree GREAT! by Rude Tales of Magic
76 min listen
Buggin' Out: Live free or die? Eat or get eaten? Are you in, or are you out? It's a wild night in the Soaking Valley County Jail as our heroes fight for their freedom and their lives when a jailbreak gets out of control. Exits must be taken. And choices? Ain't so such thing as easy ones, and they all gotta get made, babeee. by Rude Tales of Magic
83 min listen
Thirsty Falls: Part 2: Thank you for visiting Thirsty Falls. We ask that you please refrain from throwing objects, such as coins, ropes, or any flammable substances into the canyon. Please keep all sunbathing and other activities at least 20 feet from the canyon rim. Together, we can ensure that Thirsty Falls remains a destination for generations of friends and family to come. Have a great day! by Rude Tales of Magic
75 min listen
All the Little Ants: Froggie went a courtin' and when he did ride, DANGER must surely follow. Our heroes find themselves in the good graces and iron clutches of one Mr. Scrum Fabulous, the gadabout flycatcher and never not plotting crime lord of Soaking Valley. What choice will they make regarding his offer they can't refuse? Must all reunions be brief? Must all goodbyes be Irish? Answers inside! by Rude Tales of Magic
91 min listen
UNLOCKED: Sixgun Showdown!: BEHOLD AND BE NOT AFRAID, for unto you a gift is given! In honor of reaching ONE MILLION DOWNLOADS, we're lifting the velvet rope of Patreon-exclusives, to bring you PARSELY: Sixgun Showdown! Join Carly, Chris, Joe, and Producer Taylor as they play Parsely, a collection of tabletop games based on early PC text adventures. It is, frankly...a blast. And there is so much more just like it, even another WHOLE EPISODE of Parsely with the whole gang, and more on the way, just waiting for you, on the best Patreon, ours. by Rude Tales of Magic
63 min listen
Mountaintop (with special guest star Brennan Lee Mulligan): "Regarding that principle, the Buddha often said to the bhikùus, “You should know that the Dharma which I speak is like a raft. The raft is used to cross the sea of suffering — birth and death. Before you have ended birth and death, you use the raft in cultivation. Once you have ended birth and death, you should put the raft aside. If you do not put the raft aside you have an attachment." -The Diamond Sutra by Rude Tales of Magic
103 min listen
TEASER Lasers and Feelings #1: To whet your appetites until the return of the Polaris University gang in two weeks, listen to this: a new trailer for our just released Lasers and Feelings episode. NOW ON PATREON!!! Joe Lepore guides dangerous Dr. Meredith Gray (Ali Fisher), mixologist alien Groomda (Tim Platt), protocol droid Threadcount-900 (Christopher Hastings), and hotshot pilot Legs Loveless (Producer Taylor Moore) on a madcap and self destructive space adventure as they race aboard their spaceship the Raptor to try and stop galactic armageddon. Lasers and Feelings is a great game, and if you've never played before this is actually a pretty good introduction. Whodda thunk. by Rude Tales of Magic
3 min listen
Daddy-O: Ever onward, ever upward. The gang finds themselves in the labyrinthine foothills at the border between the Trashlands and what could be their salvation in Ruleshaven, but here, on the razor's edge, in the Switchblade Mountains, nothing is as it seems, and ne'er-do-wells lurk, prank, and...ride...around every corner. by Rude Tales of Magic
83 min listen
The Cave and The Mistress: Captured! Desperate! And...Deadly? The gang races, and riddles, to save their friends from the completely reasonable consequences of their own actions. Missions are accepted and secrets are, you guessed it, revealed. Can justice be averted? Can the group dynamic ever heal? What's YOUR Hungry Boy Score? All this and more, NOW! by Rude Tales of Magic
86 min listen
[Miniseries] Come at the King: Chapter 3: From low life hit men to haute couture fisticuffs, this week our not-so-merry band of journeymen killers-for-hire bounce from frying pan to fire as they find a way to turn even the acts of sleeping and buying a new shirt into high stakes emotional battles of life, death and of course...FASHION. hon hon hon. by Rude Tales of Magic
74 min listen
Kebin: We got a Kebin situation. by Rude Tales of Magic
80 min listen
Boys Boys Boys: An uncouth cadre of daredevil saviors waylay our heroes on their journey to destroy the bandits in the north, but perhaps this rambunctious new sect has exactly what our friends so desperately need even if they themselves do not know they need it? Secrets are divined! Hidden romance uncovered! The past comes back to haunt! Tomorrow, in this petty pace, creeps day to day! by Rude Tales of Magic
93 min listen

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Logic and Treason OR: Moving the Goalposts: A battle of logic. A widower's woe. An apartment move, interrupted. Truly, these are Weird Times in Piss Harbor. WE MAKE ANOTHER PODCAST:  Oh These Those Stars of Space!  In all sincerity, it's extremely fun and if you're not listening you are hurting yourself for NOTHING. Follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered. Special Thanks as always to Sydney and Benjamin Paul and Tyler Button! This episode features additional sound design by Michaël Ghelfi. Michaël creates brilliantly crafted soundscapes and ambient tracks for all sort of productions and they make perfect accompaniment to your ttrpg home games. Find his work on YouTube, and support that good stuff on Patreon. Subscribe and Rate Rude Tales of Magic on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review! Advertise on Rude Tales of Magic via  by Rude Tales of Magic
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The Virgin Suisux (with special guest Abdul Aziz): When a bounty is called on Christ Sux (special guest Abdul Aziz) our heroes take the case. But maybe they should be less focus on the bounty, and more on who called for the bounty... Thanks again to Abdul for joining us on this one, and check out his great ttrpg podcast Spout Lore. You'll be glad you did!! WE MAKE ANOTHER PODCAST:  Oh These Those Stars of Space!  In all sincerity, it's extremely fun and if you're not listening you are hurting yourself for NOTHING. Follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered. Special Thanks as always to Sydney and Benjamin Paul and Tyler Button! This episode features additional sound design by Michaël Ghelfi. Michaël creates brilliantly crafted soundscapes and ambient tracks for all sort of productions and they make perfect accompaniment to your ttrpg home games. Find his work on YouTube, and&nbs by Rude Tales of Magic
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Do You Believe In MURDER? (With special guests Jess O'Brien and Cohen Edenfield): Our crew of fearless Bounty Hunters take on their toughest assignment- stage magicians (special guests Jess O'Brien and Cohen Edenfield)!! What is truth and what is illusion in their world of enchantment?? Will even Edgica have her mind freaked by these fearsome foes? Will you dare to behold what is in the hat?? Please do we're not making this to be ignored. LIVE SHOW ANNOUNCEMENT: Rude Tales returns to the Bell House in Brooklyn on Saturday March 30th!! Trust us, you don't wanna miss this one!!! It's RUDE TALES OF MAGIC: LENT ENDERS, and tickets are ON SALE NOW. Livestream tickets available at the same link!! Thanks again to Jess O'Brien and Cohen Edenfield, and check out their twisted and incredible podcast SKULLTENDERS. You'll be glad you did!! WE MAKE ANOTHER PODCAST:  Oh These Those Stars of Space!  In all sincerity, it's extremely fun and if you're not listening you are by Rude Tales of Magic
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TRAILER: Weird Times in Piss Harbor- Premiering NEXT WEEK!: 11.28.23 A new chapter begins... See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. by Rude Tales of Magic
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And Just Like That...: After an epic quest through Cordelia to Hell itself, our heroes find themselves face to face with the man behind all of their hardships: Lexicon Matters. Will they face off in a climactic battle, or can they coexist? But don't fret, dear listener! Though this campaign may be coming to a close, we have so many Rude Tales to tell in the world of Cordelia. We'll meet you back here in two weeks for the debut of our new campaign: WEIRD TIMES IN PISS HARBOR. It all goes down Tuesday, November 28th! To learn more about our brand new Patreon tiers, or to check out the sweet existing tiers, head to-where else?- Patreon! WE MAKE ANOTHER PODCAST:  Oh These Those Stars of Space!  In all sincerity, it's extremely fun and if you're not listening you are hurting yourself for NOTHING. follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered. Special Thanks as always to Sydney and by Rude Tales of Magic
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SUMMER SPECIAL: Summer Draft '23: While we're sure you're desperate to hear the next chapter of our gripping tale, the back half of August is a time to slow down, relax, and enjoy those last days of summer. So the Bad Boys of Podcasting (Chris, Tim, and Joe) sit down to draft the ULTIMATE SUMMER. Then, Branson and Carly drop in to choose the winner, but who knows where it goes from there?? Toss on some shades, pour yourself an Arnold Palmer, and enjoy, baby. We'll be back in two weeks for the next thrilling episode in our main campaign! To learn more about our brand new Patreon tiers, or to check out the sweet existing tiers, head to-where else?- Patreon! WE MAKE ANOTHER PODCAST: Oh These Those Stars of Space! In all sincerity, it's extremely fun and if you're not listening you are hurting yourself for NOTHING. follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered. Special Thanks as always to Sydney and Benjamin Paul and by Rude Tales of Magic
79 min listen
Enter the Mother, Part 3: Good News and bad news. To learn more about our brand new Patreon tiers, or to check out the sweet existing tiers, head to-where else?- Patreon! WE MAKE ANOTHER PODCAST: Oh These Those Stars of Space! In all sincerity, it's extremely fun and if you're not listening you are hurting yourself for NOTHING. follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered. Special Thanks as always to Sydney and Benjamin Paul and Tyler Button, and our first Big Freak: Kristina Lopez. This episode features additional sound design by Michaël Ghelfi. Michaël creates brilliantly crafted soundscapes and ambient tracks for all sort of productions and they make perfect accompaniment to your ttrpg home games. Find his work on YouTube, and support that good stuff on Patreon. Subscribe and Rate Rude Tales of Magic on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review! Advertise on Rude Tales of Magic via Gumball.fm. Support by Rude Tales of Magic
90 min listen
Enter the Mother, Part 2: Deep beneath the Soaking Va-sorry, Soaking MOTHER, our heroes find themselves face to face with some familiar faces, but has anyone been spared by the ravages of time? Probably not! Deals are made. Lines are drawn. Prophylactics are discussed. Just another day in Rude Tales of Magic! To learn more about our brand new Patreon tiers, or to check out the sweet existing tiers, head to-where else?- Patreon! WE MAKE ANOTHER PODCAST: Oh These Those Stars of Space! In all sincerity, it's extremely fun and if you're not listening you are hurting yourself for NOTHING. follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered. We're very happy to now publicly thank our exec producers, Sydney and Benjamin Paul and Tyler Button. Without your support we'd have actual buckets for hats, instead of these very nice bucket hats. Thank you. This episode features additional sound design by Michaël Ghelfi. Michaël create by Rude Tales of Magic
56 min listen
Enter The Mother, Part 1: Do you remember the first time you took a long trip away from home, and then came back, and found some small detail had changed? Maybe the 7-Eleven repainted the lines in the parking lot, or your dentist was arrested for arson. Whatever it was, that small detail told you that home had, and would always, move on without you. This episode is like that, but instead of the parking lot thing it's that the entire Soaking Valley is in the thrall of Mother. Whoops! See Tim Platt perform his absurdist, musical standup at on July 25th in Brooklyn at his show Made of Bugs! To learn more about our brand new Patreon tiers, or to check out the sweet existing tiers, head to-where else?- Patreon! WE MAKE ANOTHER PODCAST: Oh These Those Stars of Space! In all sincerity, it's extremely fun and if you're not listening you are hurting yourself for NOTHING. follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered. We by Rude Tales of Magic
67 min listen
It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Cottage: We know the Rude crew loves a cottage, but how will they react when confronted with our *jolliest* NPC yet? Why, it's probably going to go great! I bet that everybody leaves this episode as happily as they enter it. Buckle up for an incident-free episode of our podcast :) WE MAKE ANOTHER PODCAST: Oh These Those Stars of Space! In all sincerity, it's extremely fun and if you're not listening you are hurting yourself for NOTHING. follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered. We're very happy to now publicly thank our exec producers, Sydney and Benjamin Paul and Tyler Button. Without your support we'd have actual buckets for hats, instead of these very nice bucket hats. Thank you. This episode features additional sound design by Michaël Ghelfi. Michaël creates brilliantly crafted soundscapes and ambient tracks for all sort of productions and they make perfect accompaniment by Rude Tales of Magic
63 min listen
[Patreon Preview] MÖRK BORG: "One day all will blacken and burn. Just as the Two-Headed Basilisks have predicted. The world is dying, time is short." Today we're playing MÖRK BORG: "A doom metal album of a game - Rules light, heavy everything else." Featuring Christopher Hastings, Joe Lepore and Tim Platt. Edited and sound designed by Kodiak Sanders with help from Taylor Moore at Fortunate Horse. Mörk Borg is by Pelle Nilsson and Johan Nohr. Snatch it up for yourself at your local game shop or morkborg.com. To hear the entire game, head over to our Patreon for the whole adventure and hours of more incredible stuff you can only get there!! Who knows- perhaps your subscription will postpone the apocalypse for one day more... Support the show: https://www.rudetalesofmagic.com/ See omny.fm/listener for privacy information. by Rude Tales of Magic
6 min listen
Come Glide With Me: There there, friend. Please, rest on this comfortable, padded stool. It can be so hard to download a podcast, but somehow you've done it. Well done! Why don't I pour you a favorite beverage? Perhaps, if you're brave enough, you can also it hit play. But it's also brave to not hit play... WE MAKE ANOTHER PODCAST: Oh These Those Stars of Space! In all sincerity, it's extremely fun and if you're not listening you are hurting yourself for NOTHING. follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered. We're very happy to now publicly thank our exec producers, Sydney and Benjamin Paul and Tyler Button. Without your support we'd have actual buckets for hats, instead of these very nice bucket hats. Thank you. This episode features additional sound design by Michaël Ghelfi. Michaël creates brilliantly crafted soundscapes and ambient tracks for all sort of productions and they make perfect accompaniment to you by Rude Tales of Magic
84 min listen
A Classic Case of Manassas, Virginia: A thrilling tale told in a convenient "downloadable" audio format to fit your your active lifestyle! FEATURING: -An exceedingly pleasant demon summoning. -A WEIiiirRRRdd town -HELLS SECRETS REVEALED. -An unforgettable learning experience. WE MAKE ANOTHER PODCAST: Oh These Those Stars of Space! In all sincerity, it's extremely fun and if you're not listening you are hurting yourself for NOTHING. follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered. We're very happy to now publicly thank our exec producers, Sydney and Benjamin Paul and Tyler Button. Without your support we'd have actual buckets for hats, instead of these very nice bucket hats. Thank you. This episode features additional sound design by Michaël Ghelfi. Michaël creates brilliantly crafted soundscapes and ambient tracks for all sort of productions and they make perfect accompaniment to your ttrpg home games. Find his wo by Rude Tales of Magic
69 min listen
It's Fly Time, Baby!: As our heroes depart the Woods Beyond the Woods, they find themselves one step closer to Hell. But those dark storm clouds on the horizon, are they real or metaphorical? Wait, they're real AND metaphorical?? Now this I gotta hear! WE MAKE ANOTHER PODCAST: Oh These Those Stars of Space! In all sincerity, it's extremely fun and if you're not listening you are hurting yourself for NOTHING. follow us on twitter for goodness sake, it's fun! And it's probably the best way to contact us, all things considered. We're very happy to now publicly thank our exec producers, Sydney and Benjamin Paul and Tyler Button. Without your support we'd have actual buckets for hats, instead of these very nice bucket hats. Thank you. This episode features additional sound design by Michaël Ghelfi. Michaël creates brilliantly crafted soundscapes and ambient tracks for all sort of productions and they make perfect accompaniment to your ttrpg home games. Find his work on YouTube, and suppo by Rude Tales of Magic
73 min listen
BONUS: For the Queen 2023: Respect her! Honor her! EXALT HER! Our jesters five- Branson, Carly, Chris, Joe, and Tim, gather to tell a tale of Queenly love and Queenly mystery. Who will say "long live the Queen!" with hearts pure and true? And who will say "long live the Queen!" in a wicked, ironic way??? Listen to discover! by Rude Tales of Magic
52 min listen

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