It’s frustrating but true: sex isn’t a button that we can automatically turn on and off. In fact, “sex” is a catch-all term for arousal, body exploration, play, and erotic collaboration—not simply penetration. So what do you do when you want to get naughty, but your body isn’t on-board? On today’s Ask Emily show, we’re taking a look at the body’s response to sex, and figuring out what to do when it shuts down. Say you’ve got a gag reflex around oral: does that mean no blowjobs? Nah - I’ve got a trick for that. How about vaginismus, when the vulva clenches so tightly at penetration, that sex is super painful? I’ve got advice! Finally, let’s talk about your partners: is it kosher to use old toys with a new lover? How do you broach the subject? And when you’re newly married, but the sex has serious problems, where do you turn? At the root of good sex is good communication, and on today’s episode, we challenge everyone to articulate their needs, and listen to their partners.Show Notes:Clean your toys with UveeSan Diego Sexual MedicineDr. Sherry's She-ology DilatorsSystem Jo Lubricants See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.