“You try not to think about the fact that you really think you’re going to die here…that it’s totally out of control.” Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew WaitsEpisode Summary: On September 11th, 2001, the first female firefighter in the New York City Fire Department confronts the impossible tasks of that day and the skewed narratives that followed.Today's episode featured Captain (ret.) Brenda Berkman. Since her retirement from the New York City Fire Department in 2006, Brenda serves as a volunteer guide at the 9/11 Memorial, is Vice-President for Programs for the women’s history organization Monumental Women (monumentalwomen.org) and pursues her passion for printmaking, specializing in stone lithography. You can see her artwork at www.brendaberkmanartworks.com.Twenty Years after the attacks of September 11th changed the world as we knew it, this month the This Is Actually Happening podcast dives deep into the stories of four survivors whose jobs brought them face to face with the unthinkable. For those called to manage an impossible tragedy up close, the events of September 11th represented a uniquely horrifying challenge. Among the harrowing details of that day, in the special series, we explore the long shadows of trauma and resilience that continue to inform the looming uncertainties that remain with us today. Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Website for Andrew Waits: http://andrdewwaits.com/ Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plusEpisode Sponsors: Better Help: betterhelp.com/happening; Lending TreeSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with the Community: Join the This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: https://www.thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Content/Trigger Warnings: terrorism, death, graphic violence, explicit language Intro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic and Sound Design by: Marcelino Villalpando ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.